The Road to Happiness
by writingmonkey10
Summary: Set three months after the fic "Help Me". Tony and Pepper's continuing relationship and the bumpy road to stability - every genre from drama, hurt/comfort, romance, you name it. ch 10-13 has a mini-crossover but that's it. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**GUESS WHO'S BACK! MEEE! I'm actually surprised I was able to put this up so fast but I have a decent amount of this fic planned so here we go! Also, this is a SEQUEL to my other fic "Help Me". So if you haven't already read it, I suggest you do. ;) Otherwise, you'll get confused. Quickly. =)**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1**

Pepper walked into Tony's room, a stack of papers in one hand and holding her Blackberry up to her ear with her elbow as she opened the door. "Yes…yes, of course I'll let him know of the changes…thanks, you too-" She hung up, placing the phone on the table.

"What changes?" Tony asked, stepping out of the closet, tie draped around his neck undone.

"Press conference has been moved up two hours which means you can fit in that meeting with the MIT staff at three, I'll go ahead and call them in a couple of minutes so they're clued in; you _also_ have the board of directors meeting at noon-"

"I don't remember agreeing to any of these-"

"Of course you don't," Pepper said smugly, playing along. "That's what _I'm_ here for. Lunch is provided at the meeting and then there's that…benefit, or party whichever you prefer which is Tuesday night-"

"That's next week, there's no way I'm going to file that information in my head anytime soon," Tony interrupted again, grabbing his jacket.

"-which you _must_…for the thirty seventh time, attend. Though I doubt you'll even question that one…it is after all a party, you practically live for them-"

She put aside the papers she was holding before standing in front of him to put on his tie. It had become some sort of routine for them and had even started as a joke. But now, every morning like clockwork, whenever Pepper saw Tony's tie draped around his neck, she fixed the problem willingly.

And so continued the typical Friday morning at the Stark mansion just before nine in the morning. The day ahead was always packed with appointments and meetings that kept both Tony and Pepper busy but neither of them bothered getting out of bed until what JARVIS had successfully dubbed "crunch time". So at 9:00 am, Pepper was running up and down the house like a rabbit on steroids, trying to get Tony out of the house who, quite frankly, couldn't care any less about what was planned.

"I have a few papers for you to sign," she added as she remembered the pile of papers waiting for them.

"All these papers you make me sign are getting me worried-"

"Why, if I didn't know you any better I'd say you didn't trust me, Mr. Stark." Pepper joked, straightening Tony's tie. "And if I do say so myself I think I've proven myself over the years."

He smiled before his lips took hers. His hands rested on her waist while hers slowly slipped down from the knot of his tie. Pepper quickly pulled away, knowing quite well from experience that if she didn't, they weren't going to leave the house any time soon. "Mm…we should get out of the house," she warned between kisses.

"Nah…" he muttered.

"You'll be late-"

"So I'm late to the ten o' clock meeting-"

"Nine thirty."

"Whatever," he muttered as he tasted her. He could never get enough.

For three months they'd been dating, and for those three months they'd managed to keep their relationship completely under the radar without raising a single suspicion. As soon as they stepped out of the house, they maintained that relatively professional relationship everyone around them was used to (after all, if they were completely professional, questions would be raised – Tony was never _completely_ professional). Actually, there was really only one rule – no PDA.

Pepper's phone started to ring, forcing her to pull back, smirking at Tony's disappointment. "Ms. Potts," she answered, trying not to squirm as Tony planted light butterfly kisses on her neck.

"He's…not available right now can I take a message?" She tried to make a serious face to warn Tony but only managed to giggle childishly.

"Of course, I'll tell him you called….thanks, bye-" Pepper quickly hung up, flushed. "That's not fair."

Tony looked like he had won the jackpot. _Arrogant jackass._ "Of course it's fair," he answered, smirking as the two of them left his room.

"That was the chief operating officer of Hammer Industries," Pepper told him, stopping by the nearest table and laying out the papers Tony needed to sign. "_That_ meeting's at five."

"What the hell for?"

"I think it's to iron out any last details about the deal."

"They're so demanding for a dying company," Tony gloated as he signed. After Justin Hammer's stunts Hammer Industries had gone downhill ever since. So being the genuinely nice guy that he was, Tony, on behalf of Stark Industries, offered to buy the company. The vote to sell was unanimous, yet they still managed to find room to negotiate the deal.

"Mmhmm," Pepper sighed, rolling her eyes. "Just sign these and get the hell out of here."

Again, her phone started ringing and without a second thought she answered. "Ms. Potts."

"Ginny, it's me."

_What the hell_? "I'm sorry, who?" Pepper tried to answer smoothly as she left Tony's side, looking for a more private location.

"It's your mother," Vanessa Potts answered a little annoyed.

"Yeah, I know…I'm actually in a meeting-"

"At nine in the morning? You never have meetings this early."

"Are you keeping tabs on me?"

"So you _don't_ have a meeting?"

"I'm a little busy, though-"

"Honey, I just want to ask if you have any plans for tomorrow."

Every cell in Pepper's body was on red alert, suspicion raging. "Why…?"

"For your birthday, Ginny! We always make plans for your birthday…wait…your sister is here she…what?" she wasn't talking to Pepper anymore.

"Hey!" Pepper recognized her younger sister's perky voice.

"Hey, Liz." Pepper tried to sound at least somewhat enthusiastic.

"So where do you want to go for dinner tomorrow night? We made reservations at that new Italian restaurant that opened in Santa Monica-"

"Actually…" Pepper started hesitantly, twiddling with a pen. "I…already have plans…"

She heard Liz whisper something to her mother before asking, "With who?"

"Why are you asking me like that? It's not illegal."

"It's a GUY!" Liz squealed and Pepper rolled her eyes, sucking in her lips as she heard her sister and mother make wild grabs at the phone.

"Who?"

"You're on speaker, Ginny."

"Who is it?"

"It's…no one…"

"Obviously it's someone. If it was no one, you'd tell us but since you told us it's no one it by default _has_ to be someone…"

"Quiet, Liz…who is it? Do we know him? What's his name?"

Pepper exhaled loudly. Actually, she didn't have any plans for tomorrow night and she wasn't sure Tony did either. After all, he hadn't remembered her birthday in years so there was nothing that said he'd remember it tomorrow. If he ended up forgetting, she wouldn't be angry…disappointed, maybe, but not angry.

But she couldn't help but hope either.

"His name's…Anthony…" she finally decided. It wasn't a lie, and it was much easier than telling her mom she was dating her boss. It was too early in the morning for that drama.

"Do we know him? When can we meet him?"

"Uh…soon, eventually…listen, I really need to go, I'll call you back-" She quickly hung up before either of them could get another word in and went to find Tony.

"Have you gotten all those papers signed?" Pepper asked, finding Tony messing with one of his tablet computers.

"There were only two of them, Pepper," he said, not even looking up.

"No, there were about a dozen."

"Oops…don't know where those are then."

She walked up behind him to see what he was working on and immediately grimaced. He was adding upgrades to one of his suits.

Tony sighed and tossed the tablet aside. He'd always known she didn't like the Iron Man stunt he pulled off but over the past few months he'd gotten to know and understand just how much she hated it. Iron Man might as well be the devil and she was convinced it was going to be the end of him, and no amount of reassuring on Tony's part would change her mind.

"Which ones are left for me to sign?"

"It's fine we can get them done in the car-"

"It's not even my suit," he said stopping her, knowing that's what was bugging her now. "Rhodey decided to go play with his last week and trashed a bunch of the weapons on it, I'm only upgrading his."

"Are you going to flying around in _your_ suit anytime soon?" Pepper asked raising an eyebrow.

Tony made a face that read, _What do you think?_

"Then I guess there's no reason to bring Rhodey into this, now is there?"

"Don't be angry at me-"

"I'm not angry," she denied. And she genuinely wasn't. "I'm just…I don't like it. It scares the hell out of me, that's all. Especially when you go riding in that thing in the middle of the night, I just don't-"

"How about," he quickly interrupted before she went into full on rant mode. "We get those papers signed?"

Pepper frowned. "Did…did you just change the subject to keep me from ranting?"

_Uh oh. _"No," he answered too quickly.

"Yes you did! I can't believe you did that, you want to me stop talking?"

"Okay, time to go-" Tony said quickly, leading her out of the house. He wasn't going to hear the end of this one.

"You want me to stop talking!"

"I never said that-"

"Fine. If you never want to hear my voice again, I can do that-"

"Okay, I'm sorry. Please don't stop talking," he said, rolling his eyes as they reached the front door.

"It's not my fault, you know, the only reason I talk is because I worry about-"

Tony stopped at the door and planted a kiss on her lips, silencing her. "You're ranting. I admit it. Now it's time go," he said opening the door. He curled his lip and raised an eyebrow as if trying to figure out whether or not she was going to hit him or keep ranting anyway.

Pepper stayed where she was swaying back and forth slightly, thinking. She finally shrugged, rolled her eyes, and walked out of the house without another word. Tony let out a sigh of relief, as he followed her out towards the car.

**Not entirely sure the proper name for that flat iPad like machine Tony carries everywhere is "tablet" but that's the best word I could think of. **

**I will also state this: I AM taking risks. I have some ideas and I'm NOT entirely sure you'll like them all which is scary in itself. All I can say is this: Hold on for me! =) thanks **

**One last thing - obviously this fic isn't starting with instantaneous drama like the last one (give me some credit, guys) A measly, short chapter, yes I agree. But there's more to come, ya? Leave a review on your way out, please. =)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Pepper was already asleep by the time Tony got home that night from some "mandatory" dinner and he was exhausted to say the least. He opened the door, untying his tie in the process and threw it somewhere on the floor. He immediately did the same for pretty much everything else he was wearing. As soon as he was ready to pass out on the bed he laid his eyes on the woman he had fallen in love with.

She looked like an angel when she was asleep and he couldn't help but smile, gently stroking the side of her face. She was lying on her stomach, her hand stretched out over the side of the bed. He smirked to himself and was about to move her hand back when he noticed that she was holding something; a single piece of paper in her fist. His curiosity took over and reached down to slip it out of her fingers.

As soon as he tried to take it, he realized his mistake – she was holding on to it tightly. Immediately, her eyes opened and as if by instinct, she slipped her hand under her pillow, taking the sheet of paper with her. She looked up at Tony groggily. "When did you get back?"

"Just right now," Tony answered, his lip twisting deviously. "What's this?" he asked, trying to look under her pillow.

Pepper immediately jumped to the defensive, rolling her eyes as if trying to explain a simple topic to a third grader. "Nothing."

"Liar!" Tony accused playfully, trying to lift the pillow up. Pepper rolled aside quickly leaving Tony alone with the pillow.

"I want to see it!"

"No!" Pepper laughed, mostly at Tony's immaturity as he jumped after her, trying to wrestle the thing out of her grasp. She squealed and immediately let go when Tony tickled her stomach, an area he had learned was especially sensitive over the last few months. She shrieked and almost kicked Tony's face but not before he quickly grabbed it out of her hand and rolled out of the bed.

"Tony!" Pepper yelled, more frustrated and angry than anything else. Tony ignored her, unfolded it and immediately the smile on his face melted away as he read it and realized what it was.

_Pepper,_

_I chose to write your letter last. Writing it would have been accepting the end, and I wasn't ready to do that. For weeks I've tried to plan out what I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't make myself do it and I was scared to say goodbye. I didn't want to think about it. But I think I'm ready now._

_I want to thank you, Pepper…_

It was his letter, the one he had written three months ago when the palladium had been killing him, and he had spent his supposed last week arranging for his possible death. He found himself completely engrossed in the words in his own handwriting. A mix of surprise and disbelief clouded his eyes and for a moment, his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth leaving him completely speechless. She still had it. She had kept it.

Why would she keep it?

By the time he looked up, Pepper had covered herself with the sheets and was facing away from him, feeling hopelessly embarrassed among other things. She was sure her face nearly matched the color of her hair and she clutched her pillow as if it was a protector.

She heard Tony climb into bed beside her silently and immediately, she closed her eyes tightly. She wasn't even sure _what_ to feel. Ashamed? Childish? Oh, who cares…what she really wanted to know was what _he_ was thinking…

"Hey," Tony said quietly, nudging her a bit. When she didn't answer, he dangled the letter in front of her and she immediately grabbed it and stuffed it under her pillow, still refusing to look at him.

"You kept it," he stated plainly. "After all this time?" Pepper shifted a little, as if about to say something but at the last second changed her mind and kept quiet.

"Hey, come on," Tony goaded, tugging her shoulder gently in order to get some response. "Why did you keep it?"

"Well, what did you expect me to do with it, throw it away?" Pepper defended.

_Good point._ "No…but I didn't expect to see you holding on to it in the middle of the night either." _Okay, so that came out wrong._ It wasn't that he was angry. Was he? No, he wasn't…he was definitely surprised, though.

Finally, Pepper rolled over to face him, but her eyes remained fixed on the sheets. "I keep it…so that I know how close I was to losing you," she answered honestly, barely above a whisper. "So that I don't take you for granted."

"Wait, hold up," Tony said not liking what he was hearing. "Pepper, look at me…look at me," he pleaded, holding up her chin. "You could never, _ever_, take me for granted. In fact, I'm the one who should be more careful…I've taken you for granted for years, even before we started dating you've always taken care of me and I've only given you hell."

"That's not true-"

"It is, and you know it," he interrupted. "I'm always putting you through so much but you're always there for me, you always have been…I love you so much." He gently pushed aside a stray strand of hair. "You know that, right?"

Pepper nodded once, sighing and Tony did the same. "I…I don't want you to keep it if you're worried that something might happen to me…?" Pepper's continuing silence was answer enough. "Nothing's going to happen to me, Pepper. The new arc reactor is working just fine; I've been running tests on it every week-"

That caught her attention. Her head perked up slightly. "Really?"

"What?" Tony exclaimed, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

Pepper smiled into her pillow. "Nothing. It's just…well, the responsibility aspect is new."

"What can I say, you're rubbing off on me…but if you want I can always ease up on the responsibility."

"No, no, I like the responsibility," she quickly added, sitting up slightly and leaning on her elbow. "Don't let me change your mind. By all means, please continue."

Tony laughed. "Well, if you're completely sure…"

"Wait…you aren't…going to tell me to get rid of the letter?" Pepper asked hesitantly.

"No, I'm not," he decided, sighing, rubbing his eyes. "I mean, I guess I don't mind if you keep it, but I don't want you to be too…attached to it either."

"Why?" she asked. It was a valid question even if she did understand why he didn't like it, but she still wanted to know and hear the answer from him.

"Because I don't want you to hold on to those memories," he finally admitted. "I hated that week and I don't want anything to remind me, or you of what happened. I...I caused you so much pain-"

"It wasn't your fault."

"I should've told you what was happening, but I didn't. And I hated how you found out about the palladium, and that you had to give me the shot yourself-" He drew his hand over his face as if to wipe away the memories. "I hate that I hurt you like that."

"Tony, you were only trying to protect me," she tried to assure him. "I would have done the same thing." She had thought about it multiple times in the last few months. When she had realized Tony was dying, she had been angry but she had learned to understand with him, especially when she placed herself in his shoes. If it had been her, she wouldn't have found it in her to admit the truth. She'd stall, she'd get her life in order – everything he had done.

Still, that week haunted Tony even though the silver lining was evident and lying in bed with him. "What's important is that I'm here and _not_ dying. And whatever is in that letter I can always tell you. You don't need to go back and read it because you're scared I'm going to disappear or that I'll never tell you that I love you in person, okay?"

Pepper pretended to think about it. But in answer, she scooted closer to him, allowing Tony to wrap his arms around her protectively. Tony smirked, arrogant jackass that he was. "Took you long enough," he joked. "Besides you can't be so grumpy."

"Why not?" Pepper asked, rolling her eyes.

"Because it's the day before your birthday!" he exclaimed, hardly believing his own ears. "Did you really forget? No wonder you've been cranky."

"I haven't been cranky!" she denied. "And I didn't forget that tomorrow's my birthday, either. I…actually thought _you_ forgot."

"Me! But…what about the whole 'responsible' thing?"

"Tony, you haven't remembered my birthday once in ten years."

"We weren't dating. Come on, give me _some_ credit."

"I hate my birthday."

Tony took a mental double-take. "No wonder you've been cranky."

"I haven't been cranky!" Pepper squealed again, even though her tone proved otherwise.

"Wait…seriously?" he backed up a little to look at her, trying to read her expression. "What's wrong with June the twenty-fourth?"

"It's the day you left to go to Afghanistan," she confessed. "Last year."

Tony thought about it and realized that what she said was true. It hadn't even crossed his mind once. "And so that's the reason you hate your birthday?"

"Wouldn't you? If your birthday was the day your boss and boyfriend went missing on the other side of the planet for three months?" she asked bitterly. Just remembering those three months threatened to bring tears to her eyes.

"Hey!" Tony warned gently. "No crying before your birthday."

"I hated those months."

"I'm sorry…"

"That's all I could think of all week…those months…" she told him. "Rhodey had wanted to go look for you and they let him for about two weeks. Then they called off the search…they said that any chance of survival had disappeared by then."

"You don't need to tell me-"

"I want to…I need to," she argued, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes. She buried her face in his chest, listening to the low hum of the reactor. "Rhodey argued for over a week, trying to start another search but they wouldn't let him…but they couldn't legally declare you dead either; not for another six months. It was so ridiculous and I just got so angry-" she choked on her words, the back of her throat feeling tight.

Tony said nothing as he embraced her, kissing the top of her forehead. He gave her time to calm down a little, waiting for her heart to stop racing. "Tomorrow," he told her, "Is going to be great. And it's going to take the place of what happened last year… when you think of your birthday, you'll think of tomorrow, not last year." He kissed her forehead again. "I promise."

She smiled into his chest weakly. "No pressure, right?"

"I think I can handle the challenge. Aren't you going to ask me what I got you?"

Pepper looked up longingly. "What did you get me?"

"I can't tell you; that would be cheating!"

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Right, why didn't I think of that?"

"I do have _something_ tucked under my sleeve that I can give you _tonight_." He said suggestively before fastening his lips onto hers. "Figuratively," he murmured as Pepper wove her hand through his hair. She pulled him closer, pouring herself into him and Tony's fingers slipped under the strap of her tank top, pulling it down slightly.

_General Fury is currently on hold._

The sound of JARVIS jolted both of them and Tony groaned, imagining all the different ways he could cause Fury pain. Now? Why now?

_Screw him_, Tony thought as he growled into Pepper's neck. Still, in the back of his mind, he knew that if he ignored the call, he'd probably wake up with something important missing – like his bank accounts. Last time, Fury had frozen them.

"You know you should probably answer," Pepper said breathing heavily, not to eager of the idea herself though she did remember what had happened the last time Tony had ignored Fury.

"No…" Tony whined.

_Sir, I suggest you at least answer…I'd prefer to be online the next time you come home_.

"Fine," Tony mumbled. "Put him through."

The next voice Tony and Pepper heard was Fury's through the speakers. "We have a situation, Tony."

"It's almost midnight you asshole," Tony yelled, planting light kisses on Pepper's neck. She shivered slightly, her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer.

"I'll send coordinates to your HUD," Fury said instead, ignoring Tony's outburst. "And I expect you down here in one hour. Believe me – you'll want to start leaving now."

_General Fury is offline, sir._

"Asshole," Tony repeated, reluctantly withdrawing from their make out session. "Time to go."

Pepper wanted to slap Fury, the demanding bastard.

"I promise I'll be back early enough to see you early tomorrow morning and be the first to wish you happy birthday."

"Fine," Pepper grumbled rolling out of bed after Tony. The two of them made their way down to Tony's garage where Tony quickly changed to get himself ready for the suit. Pepper started up the machines, making sure the coordinates Fury had sent had made it to JARVIS and ultimately, the suit's HUD. After watching Tony fly off like this with absolutely no warning, she had not only learned to adapt but also catch on to the basic "get ready for a mission" preliminaries.

Tony emerged from the back wearing the suit he often wore underneath the Iron Man suit; it had almost become a second skin for him. He stepped onto the mounting pad and allowed his machines to get him fitted.

"Have the coordinates been uploaded?" Tony asked above the whirring of his machines.

"I just sent them in," Pepper replied with a smile.

"Someone's catching on."

"Give me some credit," she joked, watching the pieces of the suit attach themselves to Tony.

"Ready?" Pepper asked just as the last piece was attached, trying to look optimistic before taking a step back.

"No, wait, I deserve a good luck kiss, I might not make it back," Tony pleaded.

She pursed her lips in thought but finally walked up to him until she was mere centimeters from him, her lips dangerously close to his. At the last moment, she smirked, flicking the helmet cover down. "Go get 'em," she said, walking back to give him some space.

Tony rolled her eyes even though she couldn't see and started up the suit, slowly gaining attitude as Pepper watched. "You complete me!" he yelled obnoxiously just before he flew out of the garage entrance, leaving a fire like streak as he left.

And just like that, in only a couple of minutes, he was gone.

She stayed there for a few minutes, alone in Tony's garage. It didn't matter how many times Fury had called for Tony so abruptly in the past, she didn't think she'd ever get completely used to it even if she did adapt. Every time he left, she'd be faced with a gaping void in her soul; a void that could only be filled with worry. What if something happened and he didn't make it back? Then she'd remember the three months without him and the same…_emptiness_ she had felt then.

But Iron Man came with Tony Stark and when she had started dating Tony, she'd also taken on Iron Man. She couldn't help but sigh when she thought about how many people would love to be in her shoes; how many people would love to call themselves "Tony Stark's girlfriend" – and not just because it was him, but because he was Iron Man. And here she was, complaining about his alter ego.

Yet, when she thought about it, she realized she complained because she loved him. Anyone else might love to say they were dating Iron Man, but that was because they didn't worry for him as much as she did.

She folded her hands across her chest, rubbing her arms as she walked back upstairs. Now for the fun part – waiting.

She couldn't sleep, at least not immediately. No matter how tired she was she'd find it impossible to descend into the blissful state of unconsciousness right after Tony had left. So instead, she bored herself. Laundry, dirty dishes, re-runs of _Friends_, anything that could, paradoxically, distract her enough to sleep.

_**5:30 AM**_

Tony found Pepper in her usual spot – fast asleep on the couch, a blanket draped over her legs. It was always the same – if he left in the middle of the night, he'd find her here and it only made him feel terrible. He sighed, carefully scooping her up in his arms causing the blanket to fall to the floor. As if by instinct, Pepper's arms found their way around his back, holding herself closer to him. Tony winced when her hand touched a particularly painful soon-to-be bruise but he kept quiet for her sake.

As soon as he reached the bedroom he carefully placed her on the bed, draping the covers over her. Pepper moaned groggily, her eyes opening slightly. "Shh," Tony hushed. "It's just me...go to sleep."

She mumbled something unintelligible but her eyes closed again. Tony laughed to himself; she wouldn't even remember any of this tomorrow morning.

"Happy birthday," he whispered before getting ready himself.

**Wrote this entire chapter on my ipad ('**_thecompany_**': I wouldn't mind the iStark XP) which proved to be surprisingly effective, lol. **

**You guys know the drill, read and review please! (The world's spinning depends on it, remember? See how important reviews are?)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Tony woke up the next morning alone and when he noticed the time, he knew Pepper had left him so he could get some sleep – it was ten thirty in the morning. He rarely slept in this late and for her to leave him be, she had to have been worried about how late he had been out the night before. He sighed, finally noticing the wet spot by his mouth on the pillow and lifted his head a few centimeters to look at it. _Oh, great. Real classy_, he thought to himself as he rubbed his eyes.

He yelped, quickly yanking his hand away from his face. He definitely hadn't expected the pain. He gingerly felt the side of his face, wincing. Everywhere from the right side of his forehead down to his jaw ached – it was all probably a giant bruise now. He finally mustered enough willpower to get out of bed and inspect the damage in the mirror.

Just looking at it hurt and he was already dreading the fit Pepper would throw once he saw it. It wasn't that he hated hearing her rant, but that he hated her _worrying_ for him. It was the worry and the look in her eyes when she saw him hurt that killed him the most…and knowing that there was nothing he could do about it. Sure, he could be more careful, but how possible was that when flying around in a suit of armor and blew things up, purposely putting himself in harm's way? It was one of the few things he honestly regretted – going public with Iron Man.

Stupid notecards.

On the other side of the door, he heard the light clanging of dishes, yanking him back to the present. His lip curled upward to form a devious looking smile, an idea entering his mind. He slowly opened the door and peeked around the corner to make sure Pepper wasn't anywhere in sight and judging by the running water, she was still in the kitchen. In an instant he was sitting at the grand piano and his fingers nimbly jumped from chord to chord with ease.

He couldn't hear the action in the kitchen cease over the piano but Pepper immediately stopped what she was doing and slowly made her way towards the living area. She didn't recognize the music but it was fun to listen to anyway. Tony glanced at her as if to make sure she was there and listening and let loose one of his gorgeous half smiles that sent Pepper's heart flying. In an instant, the music he played changed chords.

"_Happy birthday to you,_" he sang lightly as he played, his eyes twinkling. Pepper couldn't help but smile and she covered half of her face with embarrassment, feeling warm blood rise to her cheeks. She looked away, laughing to herself sheepishly, feeling everything from embarrassed to thrilled all at the same time as his beautiful baritone voice accompanied the music supplied by his fingers.

Even after he was finished singing he still continued to play and Pepper walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Thanks," she whispered in his ear, still smiling to herself as he continued to play. "That was sweet."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I try."

Pepper laughed and rested her head on his shoulder, the side of her face touching his.

"_Owww_…not sweet," Tony yelped abruptly as he winced, leaning away from her.

"What happened?" she questioned, concern laced within her words. She looked at the side of his head – the area she had touched – and immediately gasped. "Oh, God, Tony what happened here?" There was no point in asking, she told herself. She knew _exactly_ what had happened. Well, not exactly, but she knew Iron Man was involved.

"Accident," he said trying to shrug it off as nothing, but knowing from experience that she wouldn't. "It's no big deal, just a bruise."

"A giant bruise," she corrected. "Come here," she instructed grabbing his arm and leading him back into the kitchen. As soon as they were there, she left him and started searching the drawers for the first aid kit. Tony sighed and started searching for some cereal.

"How do you get a bruise on the side of your face when you're wearing a helmet?" she asked out loud as she brought out the kit.

"Well, because I had to take it off."

"Why would you…know what, don't answer that," Pepper said shaking her head as she brought out the anti-bruising ointment and squeezed some of it onto her fingers. "Get over here."

Tony obeyed, not at all eager to aggravate her.

_Colonel James Rhodes is waiting outside, should I let him?_

"No, wait I-" Tony started to say.

"Go ahead, JARVIS," Pepper overruled.

_Yes, Ms. Potts_.

"What the-!" Tony exclaimed. "Since when did JARVIS start listening to you?"

Pepper only smiled to herself as if she knew something he didn't and applied the lotion lightly to the bruise, trying not to hurt him. The two of them heard the Rhodey's familiar footsteps approaching the kitchen. Pepper's back was facing him when he walked in and at first, she didn't turn around, too focused on not injuring Tony further.

"Hey, Rhodey," she greeted, still applying the cream.

"'Sup Platypus."

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "Someone's cranky."

Pepper smiled. "Because JARVIS likes me more," she taunted.

"Hmm," Tony huffed as if unimpressed.

"I'm likin' the new look," Rhodey joked, motioning towards Tony's bruise.

Tony grimaced. "Thanks."

"I _also_ think," Rhodey announced, presenting something he had kept hidden behind the tall kitchen counter. "It's a certain someone's birthday."

Pepper gasped, grinning widely when she saw them – a bouquet of flowers. She left Tony's side, rubbing the remaining ointment on a nearby washcloth. "Aw, thank you Rhodey!" she said, giving him a hug before accepting the gift. She walked back toward the kitchen to find a suitable vase and raised an eyebrow at Tony adding, "How _thoughtful of you_."

_What the-?_ Tony thought to himself, as his eyes widened in disbelief. What, so the happy birthday song didn't count? Oh come on, that had to trump flowers. Tony immediately shot his eyes at his friend – the one who had created this mess.

"What?" Rhodey asked but Tony continued to glare at him. All of a sudden, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He checked to make sure Pepper wasn't within earshot when he asked, "You forgot it was her birthday, didn't you?"

"Did not!" Tony denied harshly.

"Yes, you did. You totally forgot…and I just made it worse didn't I?"

"I didn't forget!"

"But you didn't get her anything, did you?"

"Well, I didn't get _flowers_."

Rhodey smirked as Pepper walked back into the kitchen with a vase full of flowers. Of course, Rhodey could always prolong his 'let's torture Tony' scheme but out of the goodness of his heart, he decided to give him a break. There was always tomorrow. "I got to get down to base," he announced.

"Already?"

Tony nodded his head behind Pepper's back frantically and Rhodey tried not to laugh out loud. "Yeah, they called me in early. I just wanted to drop these off."

"Oh, okay. Thanks so much again, Rhodey."

"Yeah," Tony agreed sarcastically in a high pitched voice. "Thanks so much again, Rhodey."

Pepper slapped the top of Tony's head just as Rhodey left, calling out his last goodbyes. As soon as he was out, Pepper left the kitchen and walked back into the living room to switch on the television. Her legendary _I am disappointed_ vibe rang out to Tony with in magnitudes he didn't think was possible.

He was in _trouble_.

Tony stood by the couch, purposely staying on the opposite end glancing at her nervously. How was he supposed to get out of this one?

"I…am…sorry for not getting flowers," he tried, already wincing.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what?"

Strike one. And that was _after _apologizing. _Yikes._ "Oh, come on," Tony pleaded. "The song doesn't count?"

"Did you write the song?" Pepper asked, her lip curling a little. Tony wasn't sure what to make of it.

"No…but…"

Pepper snorted and Tony recognized the glint in her eyes as the look of dismay transformed into a complete smile.

"You're not mad?" Tony asked and Pepper finally laughed. But the way Tony said it made it sound more like, "Wait, so I'm not fired?"

"Tony, why on Earth would I be mad?"

"I don't know…I didn't get flowers, for one."

Pepper rolled her eyes and looked at him, still smiling. "Flowers do not constitute the perfect birthday for me, you know."

"So why did you make it seem like you were completely pissed at me?"

"Because I take a sadistic pleasure in watching you torture yourself."

"So you're not mad," he repeated. Just to make sure.

"No!"

"Oh, thank God," Tony sighed, finally sitting down on the couch beside her. He lay down, his head resting in her lap and turned to see what she was watching. "Still," he added as an afterthought. "It's nice to know you hold me to such low standards."

"Oh, I don't," Pepper smirked, weaving her hand through his hair.

"Is that so?"

"I'm about…one hundred percent sure that you have something else planned."

"As a matter of fact, I do…would you like to go out to dinner with me, Ms. Potts?"

"Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. Stark?"

"I think I am."

Pepper sighed, resting her head on his chest, lightly tapping the reactor. "But what should I wear?"

"I conveniently have already picked something out for you," he replied, looking up at her. "It's waiting for you in your closet."

Pepper dropped the game. She hadn't expected that. "What?"

Tony grinned. "_I_ went shopping!" he announced.

She chuckled. "Should I be worried?"

"Not _too_ worried," he decided, tracing the freckles on her arm.

* * *

_**8:00 PM**_

Pepper had never been more nervous in her entire life.

She was getting dressed in the room that had once been unofficially named "Pepper's room", standing in the dress Tony had bought her while inspecting herself over and over again in the mirror. She had never been so anxious about going out on a date with Tony, but she was practically a bundle of hyperactive nerves at this point. What was worrying her so much?

It most definitely wasn't the dress. The dress was beautiful; a long and flowing deep, forest green evening gown, bold yet subtle all at the same time. It was strapless, which at first had just about terrified her, but at least it had a back. Sexy yet elegant. Tony knew his stuff.

No, it wasn't the dress that scared her. What the hell was she nervous about? Maybe it was just the fact that she was going on a date and had absolutely no idea where they were going. She always knew where they were going, she _wanted _to know. That way, she could be one hundred percent sure that their relationship wouldn't jump to the newspaper stands. Tony's phrase for it was "You don't trust me" but Pepper's answer was "It comes with being your personal assistant". But for some reason, she hadn't bothered to ask him because she genuinely _wanted _to be surprised.

So it wasn't nervousness per se? _Apprehension,_ Pepper thought to herself, fixing her hair. Maybe it was also just how formal she looked. She only wore dresses like this to benefits, parties or anything somehow related to Stark Industries. So the fact that she was wearing this now…

Well, where exactly did he plan on taking her?

There was no point chewing herself to bits thinking about it. So without giving herself time to worry even more, she opened the door and stepped out of the room.

Tony rarely found himself completely devoid of words. It was one of his most valuable talents. To be able to put an entire room full of people at ease even when he had done something stupid, or having the ability to talk himself out of any mess that he had caused or was thrown upon him. He almost never found himself stuck in a moment where he had been completely speechless. But this was definitely one of those moments.

To say Pepper was stunning would have been the understatement of the century. She looked _flawless_. Everything about her and how she looked was without a single imperfection.

Pepper found herself blushing under Tony's gaze. "You staring isn't helping, you know," she chastised.

"It's your fault you look so beautiful," he told her finally snapping out of his stupor before kissing her cheek lightly.

"You look rather dashing yourself," she replied, smiling.

Tony frowned, obviously unimpressed. "Dashing? That's it? Well, that's lame."

She laughed as he led her out of the house. "Well I can't let you have an even bigger head. Then where will we be?"

"Good point."

* * *

"Oh my…!"

Tony smiled as he pulled up in front of the restaurant, glancing at Pepper's astonished expression. Her hand covered her mouth, hardly believing where they were. _Bel Piatoo_ – the presumably the best as well as the most expensive Italian restaurant on the west coast.

"Tony, I-" she couldn't even find words and Tony couldn't hide an amused smile. Only Pepper would be this excited about a restaurant. Tony just hoped the food lived up to the extremely positive reviews, or he wouldn't hear the end of it.

He pulled up in front of valet parking, rolling his eyes at Pepper's still stunned expression. Pepper stepped out of the car, a bright glint in her eyes just before Tony took her hand, leading her away from the car.

"Do you know how many weeks in advance you need to make a reservation to get a table here?"

"Three weeks. I _made_ the reservation remember?" Tony reminded her, placing his hand on her back as they walked toward the entrance of the restaurant. The doors opened for them and once again Pepper was taken aback.

"Oh my God," she gasped quietly as they entered. Everything was so beautiful and elegant. The chandeliers above sparkled and illuminated the entire restaurant and the red, looming tapestries accented the aura of the room. The next thing she noticed was just how many people were in the room. It was almost packed.

"Tony, do you know how many people are in here?" she said through her teeth, still smiling a little. She even recognized some of the people in here.

"I have no idea, but I did get us a private room if that eases your mind."

Pepper found herself speechless for a split second. He had gone out of his way to request a private room knowing how important keeping their relationship quiet was to her. She wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. After all, did she honestly think no one would ever find out about them? That she could hide forever? She had chosen to date Tony Stark and to hell with what anyone else thought about it. She was going to have to face the drama, the press and even the dangers eventually. And in this case, sooner was better than later.

So she went with the spontaneous, though the current adrenaline rush probably contributed as well. "What's wrong with out here?"

Tony stopped before they reached the maitre d's podium, looking at her, quickly examining her facial expressions. "Uhm...are you sure?" he asked, understanding what she meant.

"I am," she confirmed. "Really."

But Tony wasn't convinced. "Do you want to talk about it first? Sit down, then think about it-?" He quickly stopped when he noticed her raise an eyebrow as if to _dare_ him to challenge her. In a millisecond he changed his mind. "Or not," he said suddenly as he requested the changes which the maitre d accepted with ease. But just before they were led to a table, a friendly and familiar voice from behind stopped them.

"Tony!"

He and Pepper turned around to greet whoever it was and Tony tried to smile warmly. It was one of the members of the board, Richard Gears. A particularly _annoying_ member that always seemed to strike down anything even mentioned by Tony. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Pepper glaring at Tony, as if to warn him to behave. And since it was her birthday, he chose to do just that.

"Richard, fancy seeing you here," he said, shaking his hand.

"Yeah, I was just on my way out when I saw the two of you..." Tony knew what question was coming next. Just the way he had said "the two of you" was enough to warn Tony of the imminent question.

"Are you two...?" Richard started, pointing at both Tony and Pepper, eyeing them.

"No," Tony quickly said before Pepper could. "We had a bet. I lost."

Richard laughed as any sense of suspicion left him. Tony knew it was a lame excuse, but it was believable. Everyone knew Tony and Pepper's relationship wasn't totally professional...they were friends to an extent; at least, that's whatever everyone else thought.

"Good for you," Richard added, winking at Pepper. She chuckled, trying not to send a "go away now" vibe. "So I'll see you sometime at work?"

_Hopefully not._ "Sure," Tony voice muttering under his breath as they were lead to a table by the window.

But by the time they were finally seated, Tony could tell something was up with Pepper. The shine in her eyes that had been there only moments ago seemed to have vanished as soon as Richard left the restaurant. After they had been handed menus and a brief moment of silence, Tony decided to test the waters.

"What now?"

After he said it, he realized that probably wasn't the best choice of words to use. Especially when he noticed her glare at him over the top of the menu.

"You didn't have to tell him that, you know," she told him, finally laying the menu down on the table so she could look at him completely.

"What, you mean, Richard? What did you want me to say? 'Yes, we are dating?' I thought you didn't want to go public yet."

"I…don't think we should bother hiding it anymore."

Now, _this_ definitely caught him surprise. "Where's all this coming from?" he asked. She usually wasn't so spontaneous. That was _his_ thing. She was always the rational, grounded one. The realistic one that kept both his feet on solid ground.

Pepper sighed. "I just…I've been thinking. Well, I actually haven't thought about it all too much but I realized that…there really isn't a point in trying to hide anything anymore." When she saw Tony's skeptical and confused look she quickly tried to explain. "I mean, think about it, it's been three months so far but sooner or later, someone's going to find out. We can't honestly expect to keep this a secret forever. And I know for me…I hate the press, and the drama that's going to follow but I'll have to deal with it. And I don't mind dealing with it."

"It's not just that, you know," Tony added.

"I know you're…worried that someone's going to get me, but we'll just have to deal with that eventually."

_Not eventually. Again. I don't want to deal with it again_, Tony thought to himself, remembering Obadiah. Tony wasn't going to purposely put her in harm's way again like that. Not if he could help it.

He didn't say any of that out loud, though. _Later_. "Alright, we'll talk about it later-"

"Tony-"

"After we've thought about it overnight, really discussed it-"

"Tony, I-"

"Then we can see how you feel about it."

He just wanted to save the evening, and it wasn't working. Pepper sighed, twisting her lip as she focused her attention on the menu again. Tony looked at her for a moment before asking, "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," she said quickly.

"I don't want you hurt," he told her honestly. "I don't want to see you hurt and then blame myself."

"I won't get hurt. I'll be fine. Promise."

He rolled his eyes. "This is _so_ not a dinner conversation," he said as he looked at his menu. Pepper laughed, understanding that that was Tony's way of saying, 'I surrender'. "I'm thinking about trying this," he said, pointing at something on the menu that sounded interesting.

Pepper wrinkled her nose. "You won't like it."

"How do you know?"

"I know _you_. You'll hate it."

"Yeah? Well, maybe I want to try something new."

"Rule of thumb is to never try anything new when you're hungry," she warned him, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"I never liked rules."

"Right," Pepper sighed. He was going to regret this.

* * *

She was right. Again. She always was. It was probably the most disgusting thing he'd ever tested. And all Pepper could do was laugh and tell him, "I told you so."

Tony continued to push his food around with his fork until finally, Pepper rolled her eyes and said, "Try this."

He jumped at the opportunity, stabbing some sort of pasta smothered in sauce that looked and tasted fifty times better than whatever he had ordered. "I like this one," he said, mouth full as he stabbed at another pasta.

"Hey, no, I said you could _try_ it."

"Ohh…" Tony whined pouting but Pepper refused to give in.

"Order another one," she suggested, taking her plate back.

Hid dark eyes sparkled as he thought of something and immediately, Pepper knew she had given him an idea. She just wasn't sure if she should fear that idea or not. "Good idea," Tony said, quickly getting the attention of a waiter.

Pepper watched him suspiciously as Tony talked. "I'll have what she has, and-"

"The Cannelloni?"

"Yeah, that," Tony said with a wave of his hand. He was already on a roll. "Do you have a menu on you?"

The waiter handed him a menu from one of his pockets and Tony flipped through the pages. "I'll also have this and-"

"Wait, I thought you were getting mine," Pepper reminded him, her eyes widening in worry.

"Yeah, I still am," he quickly told her. Then to the waiter he added, "Two of hers by the way-"

"Are you insane?"

"Isn't that supposed to be the stroke of the genius or something like that?" he said, skimming the menu.

"You're not going to eat all that."

"Of course I'm not," Tony said as if that was the craziest thing he had heard all night. "Oh, this looks good."

"Will that be all?" The waiter asked, trying not smile. After working at a restaurant like _Bel Piatoo_ for a few months, he had dealt with his fair share of the rude, the boring and the picky. But Tony…he was definitely d) none of the above. And the waiter was enjoying the change. Obviously Tony couldn't care any less what anyone else thought of him.

"Mmm," Tony hummed, twisting his lip to the side as he continued to scan the menu. After a moment he decided, "Yeah, I think that's it."

"Will you kindly explain what crazy idea is running through your head right now?" Pepper asked after the waiter had left.

"It's like a makeshift buffet, I get to pick and choose what I want!"

"You're so picky."

"No, I'm not," Tony said, wrinkling his nose. "I just like variety. It is a very good idea if I do say so myself."

"Hmm," Pepper admonished as if unimpressed.

"Fine. But don't try sticking your face in all the food I ordered."

"Hmm," she hummed again – an answer somewhere between "Don't have to tell me twice" and "Of course I will".

* * *

He was right. Again. He always was. And by the time they had sampled half of the dishes to their heart's content, Tony had that almost natural, smug look on his face. Of course, half of the waiters and waitresses knew the two of them by now as "Those Crazy People Who Can't Pick a Meal" and they had received their fair share of disgusted looks from some of the other people in the restaurant but neither of them could have cared any less.

"Come on," Tony said after paying the bill and leaving a very generous tip. "I want to show you something."

Pepper noticed the scheming sparkle in his eye and his devious grin and was already put on an uneasy yet excited edge, wondering what he had planned next. She stood up and followed him out the back of the restaurant and up a few winding steps.

"I don't think we're allowed back here."

"Those are just rules," Tony said nonchalantly as he opened a door clearly marked _Employees Only._

"Right," Pepper told him, following him up. By now she'd learned how useless it was to change Tony's mind when he was bent on doing something stupid or against a "rule".

But instead of leading to another room, they found themselves outside on a high balcony that gave them an almost perfect view of the city below.

"Well...?" Tony prompted.

She didn't want to seem mean or heartless but she didn't see what the big deal was. Sure it was a pretty view of the city - if you were a tourist. They _lived_ here. But Tony's eyes were saying something else. Something along the lines of "Do you see it? Do you get it?" But Pepper wasn't quite sure what to get.

"Oh come on, you don't remember this place?"

She looked over the balcony again, this time trying to concentrate. It was a little familiar...but honestly once you had seen one skyline you pretty much had seen them all. But when she thought about it...

"Is this...?" she started glancing repeatedly at him and then over the balcony. "Is this where we went...after dancing at that benefit last year...?"

Tony grinned, waiting for the memory to completely resurface.

"And you...you took me out here afterwards? And we almost..."

He still had that triumphant look in his eyes. A look she'd learned to hate, love and simply roll her eyes at. _Time to get rid of that_. "And then...I asked you to get me a drink? And you left me up here by myself for the rest of the night?"

Tony's grin disappeared. _So much for that._ "Yeah, you _would_ remember that. _Again_," he added.

Pepper laughed, grinning at his exasperation. "You practically asked for it by taking me up here."

"Well, I thought it was good representation how far we've come, thank you very much. Honestly, Pepper. You're such a killjoy."

"I don't think this is the exact place, though…"

"No, it's a couple buildings down, but hey, I was close, right?"

She smiled, thinking about that night and where they were now – and the months in between. She looked up at him and as he met her gaze, she knew they were thinking the same thing. _Let's try it again. _

So instead of changing her mind before their lips met, she closed her eyes and took his face in her hand.

* * *

Quinn Gustavo was walking home empty handed. Again.

He was a freelance photographer, so the money never came in a steady stream; or stead_ily_ for that matter. And every time he pitched for a staff job he was turned down. No one was interested in hiring a staff photographer when it was so much easier and cheaper to deal with freelance photographers. And half the time to get a staff job he needed connections. And he didn't have any.

He sighed, rubbing the side of his head, wondering what he was going to eat. The power was out at his apartment thanks to the unpaid three month late bill and there was nothing to eat at home anyway. He'd probably stop by the diner a couple blocks away and con his friend who worked there into giving him a discount.

As he mentally went through how exactly he'd get his friend to cut him some slack, he used a shortcut, passing _Bel Piatoo_, one of the fancier restaurants in the neighborhood. As he cut through the back, he stopped to peer around in the restaurant through the window and raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. _So this is how the other half lives_, he thought to himself. He rolled his eyes and was about to leave when he felt a light tap on his right shoulder. Faster than ever, he spun around, holding his the camera around his neck protectively. When he realized that no one was around he glanced at his shoulder and saw that something had fallen there. He couldn't tell what it was in the dark so he moved in an area where the light of the moon illuminated the object. A millisecond before he wiped it away, he realized what it was and quickly retracted his hand.

"Aww, shit!" he cursed as he examined the bird poop on his jacket. Today was not his day.

He looked up as if expecting to find the bloody animal that had caused him another expense but found none. Instead, he saw two people up on a balcony of the restaurant talking. He was about to leave but he squinted, sure he recognized one of them. He brought out his camera and looked through the lens, trying to see who it was.

Was that _Ironman_?

_Sweet_, Quinn thought to himself as he zoomed out, trying to figure out who the chick was. Probably another one of his one night stands but again, he found himself entranced. He recognized her. Wait a minute…that was the chick…the girl who followed him everywhere, his assistant, right? Were they dating?

And as if to answer his question, the two of them kissed – right there in front of his camera lens.

"Oh ho!" Quinn laughed quietly, hardly believing his eyes. For a moment, he completely forgot he was even holding a camera. So Tony and his hot assistant were dating. Or maybe even screwing. And no one knew this. For how long?

_Who cares?_ Quinn thought to himself as he snapped multiple pictures, trying to get a shot that someone could easily look at distinguish the two. The clearer pictures always cost more. "This shit better get me a staff job somewhere," he muttered to himself as he snapped a few more for good measure.

_Overdue bills, here I come._

**I actually couldn't find out if Tony played the piano so here's hoping he does! Lol.**

**Pretty long chapter to make up for the pretty short ones last time, am I right? Yeah, I love you too. =)**

**You know the drill. Read and Review or else the world will stop spinning blah, blah, blah… XP**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! I know, long wait. I've been extremely busy lately – working. Honestly, I've been coming home anywhere between ten and two in the morning. I'm actually about to rush out again and won't be back probably until ten or so. If it's any consolation I **_**do**_** have part of the next chapter already written. So maybe the next wait won't be so bad, eh?**

**There are probably some typos – but if I wait any longer this chapter won't be up for another day or two so…here we go!**

**Chapter 4**

Even though it was Sunday morning, Pepper and Tony were still up early getting ready for another day at Stark Industries. Today though, Pepper wasn't needed. Tony had a few things to take care of and Pepper intended to use her free day to do absolutely nothing.

Her plan was ruined by a single phone call that came in just minutes after Tony had left the house. As soon as her phone started ringing, she rolled her eyes and cursed. She was wearing sweats and one of Tony's shirts. She had absolutely no intention of getting her ass out of the house and into Stark Industries.

"Hello?" she murmured into her phone without checking caller ID.

"TONY STARK?"

At first, she didn't even recognize the shrill, female voice and almost hung up with a shake of her head, sure it was a reporter. But before she did, her brain placed the unnaturally high, not to mention angry, voice. "Mom?"

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"Mom, what's going on? Stop yelling I have no idea what you're mad about."

"You honestly have no idea?" She sounded slightly calmer, but not all that much. "Virginia, I want to google your name. Right now. Google it."

"Mom, I-"

"Just google it!" she screeched.

_Sheesh._ But Pepper knew better than to argue with her now. Instead, she grabbed her computer tablet and typed in her full name in the search engine. She sighed. All the regular stuff was there. "Tony Stark's personal assistant, Virginia "Pepper" Potts-" and "Ms. Virginia Potts, once CEO of Stark Industries-". Blah, blah, blah.

"Mom, I real don't see what-"

She stopped when she noticed the running "current news" toolbar near the top. And she frowned when she saw the first lines of one of the articles: "_Tony Stark and his personal assistant Virginia "Pepper" Potts seen last night at Bel Piatoo..."_

Before the news reel could scroll down she clicked the link taking her to the main page.

"Oh God..."

A picture of her and Tony on the balcony of _Bel Piatoo_...when they were...

"The two of you are practically fornicating on the page!"

_Nicely put. _"Mom-" Pepper warned trying to keep herself together, but she just felt helpless...helpless and angry. What the hell? She wanted to yank the picture from the internet but even if she could, what was the point? Half of the country had already probably seen it. She_ had_ wanted to go public, but not so soon...and definitely not like this; not with her face plastered on his all over the internet.

Being Tony's assistant, she didn't have any power or influence (which worked since she happened to hate both), but she did have respect. People respected her. After all, she had been Tony's PA for years, and one of the few women who had ever been within a five foot radius and still hadn't let him get in her pants. When she had first been hired, there were jokes going around that she was playing hard to get, making him beg for it. But over the years she had proven herself as someone different and even a friend to him.

Now what were they going to think? She cracked? She wanted her old job as CEO back? Pepper didn't even want to think about some of the headlines that were out floating around now and suddenly she wasn't so sure about the whole "going public" idea.

"Virginia-!"

"I'm going to call you back," Pepper said instead. She needed to call Tony; not just to tell him what was going on but because she needed to talk to him. Just to _talk_ - and her mother wasn't her best option.

"Don't you hang up on me, Virginia!" her mother warned. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about how happy I was that Tony remembered my birthday and took me out to a restaurant I've wanted to go to for years and made the night so special for me!" Pepper screamed back. "But apparently I can't even do that without some reporter snapping some stupid picture and sending it off to the internet!"

Her mother was silent on the other end and Pepper knew she had probably pushed her limits but didn't care. Pepper dropped her head in her free hand, willing herself not to cry. She wasn't a teenager – she needed to take care of the problem at hand and waltz through the battlefield ahead with her head held high.

"Mom, I need to go-"

"Go where? It's Sunday!"

"I need to call-"

"_Him_?" Vanessa Potts scoffed, as if just saying mentioning "him" was enough to make her gag.

"Yes, Mom!" Pepper yelled back exasperated. "Of course I need to call Tony!"

"He'll find out sooner or later."

With everything happening all at once, Pepper wasn't sure she could even become more frustrated. Yet those few words almost drove her over the edge. "Can you give him a break? You've never even met him."

"I don't need to. I know his reputation just as well as you do."

"To hell with his reputation!"

"Virginia!"

"He's changed, he's different…" she tried to explain everything that had happened in the last year in just those words. His abduction, the three months without him…the unstable months back, palladium poisoning…but there were no words that could summarize the emotions that had come with the events. "You don't know him."

Her mother sighed heavily, like static to Pepper's ears. "Honey, we'll talk about this later." She sounded calmer.

But Pepper most certainly wasn't. "No, we won't! You'll just tell me I'm being an idiot!"

"Calm down, Ginny-" Nicknames. Now she was just begging. "I'll pick you up in about ten minutes, we'll go to your sister's."

"I don't want to go anywhere!"

"Would you stop yelling? I'll pick you up in a few."

Pepper was silent, not too willing to explain why that wasn't going to work. But Vanessa picked up the hint. "You're not at home, are you?"

Again, Pepper's silence was answer enough.

"You're at _his_ house? Oh, God…"

"We've been dating for three months, I think I'm allowed to-"

"_Three months!_"

Oops.

"And you never told me?" her mother demanded.

"_This_ is why I never told you!"

"Fine. I'll pick you up there."

"No, I'll drive to Liz's place _myself_. _After_ I call Tony."

"You don't want me there now? What the hell can-"

"It's not your house, Mom," she said curtly. "End of discussion. I'll go to Liz's place."

"Well at least we can agree on something."

As soon as that conversation was over, she quickly dialed Tony's number, picking at pieces of lint on her sweatpants. He picked up on the first ring.

"You're calling early, I haven't even gotten out of the car yet," he joked.

"We've gone viral," Pepper announced. "It's online everywhere - the two of us at _Bel Piatoo_ last night, some idiot went off and took a picture and now everyone with a cellphone or a PC can-"

"Whoa, hold up, slow down," he interrupted, instantly recognizing the tell tale signs of "rant mode". He made her explain the problem again and when he finally pulled out his phone to see for himself he found himself equally speechless. After a brief moment of silence, he simply stated, "Oh, shit."

"Now what?" Pepper asked, sounding like a little girl.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Tony."

"I'll come home right now and-"

"No, you can't!"

"Why not?"

"Listen, I'm fine, okay? And you need to take care of…whatever it was."

"Who even put this picture up…Quinn Gustavo, huh…I'm going to ruin him."

"Tony-"

"This is my fault."

She hated hearing him say that. She hated it whenever he felt guilty.

"I shouldn't have even taken you up there, it was stupid-"

"No, it wasn't," she told him. The last word she'd use to describe anything about that night was 'stupid'. "Besides, we were thinking about going public, remember?"

"Yes, on _our_ terms, not theirs. Now we're going to have to deal with all the questions, the press...it's just a meaningless waste of time."

Pepper was trying to hold a brave front for Tony. She could handle it, despite how inconveniencing and annoying it might all be. Yet, she continued to scroll down the google page that seemed to hold the latest information concerning last night. She knew she shouldn't bother looking at it, that it was only going to upset her - at least, that's what Tony seemed to always do. But there was one headline that caught her eye, and made her sick to her stomach.

_Stark Finally Bags Assistant._

Those words angered her. It was demeaning, as if she was simply a prize to be won. But the headlines also came with a realization - that was what everyone else would think; that she was merely an accomplishment, another notch on the bedpost. That's how she would be viewed by the media, everyone she worked with...

"Pepper?" Tony called out after a brief moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

Immediately he knew something was wrong; she sounded distant, as if she was in her own world. God, he just wanted to turn around and find her. "Pepper, what just happened?"

"Nothing-"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I-"

"Forget this, I'm coming home-"

"I told you I'm fine."

"Then what is it?" After a moment he added, "You're making me nervous."

Pepper couldn't help but smile, even it if it was just slightly. "I…I'm just a little upset."

"Well, I'm royally _pissed_ right now, how can you be just a little upset?"

"I don't know, I just…I thought I could handle it." She sighed. "Now I'm not so sure."

"You _can_," he reassured her from over the phone. "I know you. You kick ass if someone pisses you off, it's the best thing about you."

Pepper finally found it in her to laugh. "Not sure if I should be flattered."

"Oh, that would be a definite yes."

"So what now?"

"Well, now I'm about to take hell," Tony told her as Happy pulled up in front of the building. "So I'll tell you how well that goes and after that we'll start making things up as we go along. As soon as I'm done here I'm coming straight home-"

"Don't bother," Pepper told her, already getting her purse. "I'm going to be at my sister's."

Dead silence. "Why…?" Tony asked cautiously.

Pepper sighed loudly through her nose. "Because I have to see my mom."

"You know the way you say that really, _really_ scares me…"

Pepper laughed but Tony wasn't finished. "I swear, I'm about to shit in my pants right now; it's as if your mother's Hitler or something, I mean, come on, she can't be that bad-"

"You've never met her."

"Because you won't let me!"

"And I have a very good reason for that. Believe me, you'll get your chance soon."

"Yeah – but now she's going to want my head on a pike or something."

Pepper laughed again, knowing his assumption was far off from the truth. "I'll call you soon…just…don't do anything stupid."

"We stupid people prefer the politically correct term, 'spontaneous'," Tony corrected. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye," Pepper told him before she hung up. But as soon as she did, she was filled with dread and worry all over again. When she was talking to him, even on the phone, she felt invincible. Now she felt like a mouse thrown into a maze with a hungry cat.

She tried not to think about it as she unlocked her car door.

* * *

Vanessa Potts had opened the door before Pepper even reached the front steps that led to the house. Liz was standing in the house behind her mother trying not to laugh aloud, much to Peppe's annoyance. The look on her face reminded her of Tony's all too familiar smirk.

"I still can't believe you would do this," she told her daughter as she entered the house. Liz rolled her eyes and behind her back mouthed, "She's been at it since!"

"Hi, Liz," Pepper greeted instead.

"Ginny, I don't think you're taking all of this seriously."

Pepper tried to make sure she didn't get to her but her mother was definitely pushing some of her buttons. Again, behind Vanessa's back, Liz told Pepper. "I still can't believe you're dating _Tony Stark_." But she didn't sound disappointed - more intrigued and desperate for details if anything else.

Pepper smiled at her sister. If anyone wasn't taking any of this seriously it was her. But to her mother, Pepper said, "Mom, I _am_ taking this seriously. We both have been and we decided that...well, everyone's going to find out about us eventually. It was bound to happen."

"And this is how it was supposed to happen? With that...picture of you on every newspaper stand in the country?"

"No," Pepper answered angrily through clenched teeth as she sat down on the couch. "I don't know how...that wasn't what we wanted."

"So just how do you plan on taking care of this?"

It was when she said that, a new revelation made itself clear to Pepper. "Mom...why _are_ you angry?"

Liz shook her head emphatically, eyes opened wide as if to say, "Wrong question!" She had a bowl of popcorn in her lap as she watched the conversation.

Vanessa nearly jumped out of her seat out of sheer frustration. "What do you mean why am I angry? What don't you understand about what's going on?"

"I mean...is it the picture or is it just that I'm dating Tony?"

Liz glanced at her mom, wincing slightly as if she already knew the answer and Vanessa sighed. Pepper just about exploded, immediately sensing the answer from her silence. "What do you expect me to do? You want me to leave him?"

"Pepper, I honestly have no idea why you're with him to begin with."

"Because I love him!" She sounded like a teenager, she knew but she couldn't help it.

"What?" Vanessa scoffed as if unimpressed. "What did he say? What did he do? Did he say he loved you? Did he buy you flowers, take you out to dinner? This is Tony Stark! So what else is new? You of all people should know his reputation and you still fell for it?"

_You weren't there, _Pepper thought to herself, trying to keep her cool. _You don't know what we've been through. What it's been like. You weren't with him at his lowest, when he was alone, on the brink of death, scared...and you weren't there when he had nothing to worry about, when he was happiest. You only saw what _they _wanted you to see. You don't know him like I do. _"You don't know him, Mom," she said simply. "You don't know him. No one sees him, who he really is. After he came back from Afghanistan..."

"Ginny, I just don't want to see you hurt."

"I won't be."

"Honey-"

"I get it," Pepper interrupted suddenly. "You don't Iike him. I understand that. And I'm saying that I still love him. There's more to him than what everyone sees."

Vanessa looked at Liz with pleading eyes as if to say, "Talk some sense into her!" Instead, Liz just looked at her mother, with the straightest face and said, "He's hot."

Pepper would have laughed hadn't she been so frustrated but her mother just groaned aloud.

"He's different," Pepper repeated. "When you meet him you'll see that."

Vanessa glared at her daughter. "Whatever gave you the notion that I want to meet him?"

Pepper stared back, hardly believing her ears and even Liz stopped eating her popcorn, stunned by what her mother had just said. "Aw, Mom…" Liz started, a hurt look even in her eyes. "You don't mean that-"

"I mean everything I say. I don't want to see him." And with that, Vanessa stood up and left the living room, leaving her eldest daughter lost for words.

She was immediately heartbroken. Pepper knew her mom wasn't going to be thrilled to hear that she was dating her boss, and she expected the eye rolling, the whining, the yelling even but not this. She could handle reluctance to see him, but not a definitive and irrevocable 'no'.

"What do you mean you don't want to meet him?" Pepper asked as Vanessa returned.

"You know exactly what I mean. It's bad enough that you decided to date him…this is something I expected from your sister but definitely not you."

Liz frowned. "Hey!"

But Vanessa wasn't finished. "You have a good head on your shoulders and you know him…or at least you _knew_ him. You knew about his reputation, how he is with girls, complete lack of responsibility, he's erratic behavior and you know quite well he always has and still will take you for granted. I don't know why you decided to do a stupid thing like this."

"Mom!"

"I hate that you're dating him and I hate that the rest of the world gets to know it too. He'll never respect you. Give him time…a couple weeks, maybe a couple days…you'll remember what I said."

Her words stung, leaving Pepper nearly empty. She knew she shouldn't take what she said seriously, she was just angry, but how could she say those things? She knew nothing about Tony, and she wasn't even willing to give him a chance.

Pepper was done here. She stood up, ready to leave the house without giving her mother a second glance. Liz quickly followed her out, spilling the bowl of popcorn all over the floor. Before Pepper could leave the house, Liz stopped her. "Hey," she said softly, taking her shoulder. "She's just…frustrated, don't pay attention to her. You know her…she's so overdramatic."

"Yeah," Pepper said through clenched teeth trying to turn to leave, but Liz wasn't letting her go anywhere.

"I'll talk to her," she promised. "I'll…buy her some Skittles or something and talk her out of it."

Pepper laughed lightly. "Thanks."

Her sister nodded, looking up at her sister with an eyebrow raised tauntingly. "So…Tony Stark, huh? Damn, you have good taste, you lucky bitch."

"He's not easy to deal with, you know," she told him, still smiling.

"I think he's the type of guy…every girl would want to go out with," Liz said. Then she smirked adding, "And every girl would leave in about a weekend."

Pepper laughed at that one, knowing just how true it was.

"Yeah, well _you_ know him at least," Liz told her. "That has to make it easier."

Pepper shrugged. "_Not_ much."

"Well, I for one have to meet the guy, no matter what Mom says." When she noticed Pepper's sad look again she sighed. "Listen…you said you know him. And you've known him for years…which means you know how he's been…with girl and all-"

"Liz, I know it looks-"

"But if you know all that, and you're still going to go through with this and it's been working for the last three months…well, obviously you know something we don't." Liz smiled and gave her sister a hug. "Go for it. I trust you, and you trust him…so I don't have much of a choice here."

Pepper hugged her sister back, grateful she had someone on her side. Besides, she was about to face the rest of the world now – not many people would see her view. "Thanks so much, Liz." She sighed, a new strength brewing within her as she left her sister's house.

"Don't forget to invite me over some time!" Liz yelled out before Pepper entered her car. "I still want to meet him!"

Pepper laughed aloud, silently promising to do just that.

* * *

Her first test of the day came in the form of a teenager working at the local ice cream store. Pepper had no real reason to be there – aside from her hopeless craving for something sweet. A responsible person in her shoes would have gone home to figure out how to straighten up or at least deal with this new mess. Instead, here she was, in her sweatpants, about to stuff her face at Baskin Robbins.

The teenager taking her order had at least nine piercings all over her face, hair as red as Pepper's and the most exhausted look on her face. She took Pepper's order and was about to go complete it when something seemed to catch her eye. She stopped popping her gum and squinted at Pepper as if to examine her.

"Are you the girl who's dating Ironman?" she asked as she opened the freezer cover.

Pepper shrugged, and raised up one hand, palm up as if to say, "You got me."

The teenager smirked, obviously amused at Pepper's completely nonchalant demeanor but asked no more questions while Pepper smiled to herself - for absolutely no reason at all.

**Remember how I said I wouldn't be home for HOURS? Well, how nice would it be if I come home and I've got a bunch of reviews waiting for me in my inbox? I know – pure heaven, am I right? XP lol, read and review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When Tony walked into Stark Industries, he could easily tell that everyone in the building already knew about his relationship with Pepper. Yet not one person bothered to mention it (well, at least not to his face). And that worked just fine with him. It was, after all, a relatively professional setting and it was no one's business who he was or was not dating. No confrontation, Tony realized just as he entered. He could get in, pick up what he needed to, and get out in about five minutes flat.

Of course, one of the main reasons he didn't _need_ to deal with confrontation was because Pepper wasn't with him. As soon as everyone actually _saw_ them together in one room, talking or working, then he'd get the questions, the stares. He was getting it easy because Pepper wasn't around.

Myeh. That worked for him.

It wasn't until he was on his way out he was given the opportunity to hear what everyone else must have been thinking. Just around the corner, he heard Pepper's name mentioned in one of the rooms. Tony noticed the door was open and stood just outside so he could see what was going on. It was Richard Gears – the member of the board Tony and Pepper had seen at _Bel Piatoo_ the night of her birthday. And he was talking to two of his friends as he got some work done. Everyone's back was toward the door so none of them realized there was an additional presence.

"So they actually _are_ dating," one of them asked, his foot propped up on Richard's desk. "Not just sleeping together."

"I guess it's serious," Richard said, not really paying attention. Whatever he was working on wasn't working out as well as he had hoped. He frowned at a sheet of paper.

"I doubt it," the other man said, handing Richard a document. "I mean come on, Potts is smart."

"And so?"

"Well a smart chick isn't going to go out with a guy like Tony. She knows him – he picks up a new chick every week."

Tony nodded to himself and shrugged as if in consideration. Good point.

Still, the other guy didn't see the point. "And so?"

"So…there's got to be something in it for her."

Tony frowned, hating what he was hearing. _Hell, no_.

"Think about it, she was CEO one week and then she quit the next." The guy shrugged. "What if she wants the job back?"

"So she's sleeping with him to get back a job? That doesn't seem like her."

"Maybe, maybe not," Richard said, frowning at a document he had just been given. "But then again it's only a matter of time, before a smart chick falls for a smart guy with money…." Richard rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. "You dumbass, you didn't balance these accounts, where the hell am I supposed to cough up three million dollars? From my ass?"

The guy who had been handing Richard the documents took one of them back and pulled out a pen to see what the problem was.

"Tony's a lucky bastard to hit that, though," Richard added. "But she's got to be getting something out of it…not sure what."

"She's getting paid."

"As his assistant."

"What's your point?"

Tony was finished listening to this shit. He coughed loudly and obnoxiously and everyone in the room quickly whirled around, eyes wide and just by looking at them, Tony could tell what they were all thinking. _Shit!_ The man balancing the accounts (incorrectly, for that matter), looked like he'd just pissed in his pants.

Tony, however, easily knew how to play this. He laughed a little, smiling, easily putting everyone at ease. Either he'd heard nothing, or he'd heard it all and didn't care because it was true. Either idea worked with Tony at this point in time. Then his facial expression changed and a more serious look took over. "Hey, Richard, I have an idea to pitch that I need you to see, do you have a couple minutes?"

Richard quickly stood up and followed Tony out of the room. As soon as they had put a reasonable distance between themselves and Richard's office, Tony turned around to face him. But this time, a noticably different emotion was seen in his eyes - anger.

_Shit. _Richard thought to himself.

"Listen, I don't care what the hell you say about me, but you're going to leave _her _out of it," Tony said simply. He didn't yell, didn't scream, he spoke just above a whisper – but anyone could tell he was obviously aggravated beyond words. "You got that?" Tony checked.

Richard didn't need Tony to say who she was. It was already blatantly obvious. "Uh – of course, Mr. Stark," Richard answered quickly. This wasn't a business talk – he wasn't used to crossing into this personal territory with Tony, and he wasn't even sure how to respond to it. No one ever crossed into this territory with Tony, because there never was a need for it.

"Good," Tony said, once again changing his tone. Just like that, he was back in the game, his regular upbeat and hopelessly sarcastic self. He handed Richard a small folder with more papers. "Because I need you to balance these before that meeting we have with Hammer Industries on Thursday – the latest notes are also in there so you can go ahead and look at how everything's going to split up and tell me what you think of it sometime," Tony was already walking backwards, but still talking to him as if he had just found him in the halls and struck up a casual conversation. "I'll be out until Tuesday so if you don't like something let me know."

Richard nodded, more than happy to sweep the floors if he had asked it. "Uh…sure," he said, glancing through the papers he'd just been given. But the next time he looked up, Tony was already out the door, holding his phone to his ear as if everything was back to normal.

_What just happened_? Richard thought to himself as he walked back into his office.

But Tony knew exactly what had just happened – he had said his mind and gotten Richard to do something he himself didn't feel like doing. Anger and a decent amount of manipulation could do wonders. But in all seriousness, he had sent out a perfectly understandable message: _Back off._ Everyone else could extrapolate from there. Pepper deserved every ounce of respect from everyone, and he wouldn't accept any less on her behalf.

His phone started ringing, distracting him for a minute and he checked caller ID before choosing to answer. _I'm going to regret this_, Tony thought to himself as he accepted the call.

"You've gone viral," Rhodey announced pointedly, as if he was announcing the weather.

"So I've heard," Tony said, rolling his eyes as he opened his car door.

"Did you guys know you guys are currently number three on Yahoo's 'top ten most searched' list?"

Tony couldn't help but honestly impressed. "Wow," he said aloud.

"It's hardly been twenty four hours since it leaked – I think that's a record."

"Rhodey, what do you want?"

"Nothing," he answered, but Tony could practically see him smile over the phone. "I'm just here to gloat and watch you miserable. It's enough of a high for me."

"Well, in that case, I'll talk to you later."

"What did Pepper say?"

"Goodbye, Rhodey."

"No seriously, I want to know."

Why did he bother listening to this guy? Tony started his car and put it in gear. "Nothing, she's pissed. I'm pissed. The end."

"Feeling crabby, are we?"

"Bye."

"No, wait, I won't laugh anymore, I swear to God-" Rhodey quickly exclaimed. The only problem was that he was _still_ laughing.

"What do you want?" Tony muttered.

"How's Pepper?" he asked on a more serious note.

"She's fine. I already told you – she's pissed, but fine."

"Where is she?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ah ha!" Rhodey exclaimed, as if he had just discovered the purpose of meaning. "You're defensive."

"So?"

"You don't know where she is."

"What does it even matter? And I _do_ know where she is," Tony weakly defended.

"She's never going to tell you she's _not_ fine. So the only way to find out is to figure out where she is."

Tony would have bet…twenty million dollars that he'd never take relationship advice from Rhodey. And yet here he was, wincing about to actually answer his question in order to get some information. _What's next? The Apocalypse?_ "She's with her mother," he muttered reluctantly.

Rhodey was _actually_ silent on the other end. Finally he said, "You're screwed."

"Why am I talking to you?" Tony asked – mostly to himself.

"Well…because I want to know the details," Rhodey said simply, as if it was obvious.

"Bye, Rhodey."

"You know you're going to have to meet her. And when you do, can I watch?"

Tony hung up, rolling his eyes. He had heard enough from this clown. Of course Rhodey would find all of this funny; he had been making bets as to how long it would take for their little secret to leak out and in Tony's defense – three months was a decent amount of time.

He just hoped it was a decent amount of time for her.

"_Sooo…_!" Tony exclaimed slowly just as he entered the house. He found Pepper leaning on the kitchen counter, eating out of a tub of ice cream. "How'd it go?" he prompted obnoxiously. Pepper only glanced up at him once and then resumed her rampage on the tub of ice cream. He peered over the edge to check the flavor – Rocky Road. Yikes.

"That bad, huh?" he asked just before stealing her spoon and trying some of her ice cream. It probably wasn't a very smart move – something he realized _after_ stealing the spoon but Pepper was already prepared. She pulled out another spoon from under the table and continued eating.

Tony stuffed another spoonful in his mouth before repeating, "How'd it go?"

"It was terrible," Pepper complained while eating. She stabbed at the ice cream and Tony actually flinched. He said nothing for a while, patiently waiting for full on "rant mode" to kick in and in a couple seconds it finally did.

"She hates you."

That's it? "I think that was already expected," Tony said cautiously as he put another spoonful in his mouth.

"But I didn't expect her to hate you this much."

"Well considering how she found out about us, I think hatred is a reasonable emotion."

Pepper glared at him and Tony quickly changed his mind. "Just kidding," he decided to add while pretending to be preoccupied with the ice cream in front of him. Suddenly he changed his mind. "Actually, I'm not kidding – Pepper, why are you so angry that she hates me _now_?"

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Because she's angry," Tony said. "Give her a break, we can talk to her later after she's calmed down a bit."

"But that's just it," Pepper said, stabbing at the tub of ice cream again. "She doesn't even want to see you."

The first thoughts in Tony's head as soon as he heard those words were: _Oh, thank GOD!_ But he managed to quickly utilize that filter between his brain and his mouth, effectively keeping him alive. "Oh?" he said instead. Apparently only part of his thought process had escaped the filter.

"What do you mean 'Oh'?" Pepper exclaimed, dropping the spoon.

Uh oh. She had given up on the ice cream. Things were moving downhill fast. Not entirely sure how to get himself out of this one, Tony chose to remain silent – a wise move.

"She doesn't even want to look at you…and I hate that," she admitted quietly.

Tony sighed. He was quite used to people hating him – actually, that was generally how it worked. You either liked him or hated him. Pepper didn't mind that either but this seemed to be the one time it actually mattered to her. She wanted her mother's approval, and that he could deal with, and that he could understand.

"What, am I that bad?"

"It's not funny, Tony."

"You're right," he said, on a more serious note. "It's not." He said nothing for a while, watching her play with the spoon. "It's really bugging you, isn't it?" he noted.

Pepper shrugged, finally taking another bite of ice cream. "It really isn't a big deal, I guess…you know, she's angry…which makes sense, I can understand that. But she just…" she sighed, unable to put everything into words. "It just pissed me off."

"Mmm," he hummed in agreement as he continued to eat. "Don't worry about it; she'll come around eventually…hopefully."

Pepper chuckled, finally smiling. "Yeah."

"Besides," Tony said with a hint of haughtiness. "I'd say I'm a very nice guy in person. I have my charm."

She laughed out loud, smiling as she dug into the remaining ice cream. Tony smiled as well, relieved she had calmed down enough to at least relax.

"So I take it that was the highlight of your day? Your mom?" Tony asked.

"Oh," Pepper nodded sarcastically. "Definitely a highlight. What about you?"

Tony shrugged, not about to tell her what had happened back at Stark Industries. "I made Richard balance the accounts."

"The Hammer accounts?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Tony," she reminded him. "You were supposed to do those."

"I know – that's why I gave it to _him_."

"You see, and you wonder why he doesn't like you," Pepper said, pointing at him with a spoon. "It's because you do stuff like that."

_Yeah, I defend her honor and I get blamed._ Tony smiled to himself, finding his situation amusing. "I don't _always_ do stuff like that. Now you're just exaggerating."

"Wait…are you honestly trying to tell me that…we…didn't come up in conversation at all."

_No._ "Yes, I know – your chance at fame and you were _completely_ blown off. Hardly fair, in my opinion," Tony joked.

"Tony," she warned, raising an eyebrow at him. But she no longer felt so frustrated.

"Well, no one's going to start talking about it until they actually see the two of us in one room. Technically, we haven't made a public appearance so no one's paying attention."

Pepper nodded once, then remembered something. "Mm!" she hummed as she swallowed some ice cream. She pointed at Tony with her spoon. "The party's been moved."

"What party?"

"It's really just informal thing, I don't know what to call it – you know, the one we're holding to celebrate Stark Industries buying out Hammer."

"Here?" Tony asked, already freaking out.

Pepper chuckled. "No, not _here_. It's at a hall."

"Oh, good."

"It's been moved to Monday, not Tuesday."

"Wait, isn't that tomorrow?"

"Surprise," Pepper said with a shake of her head in a feeble attempt to look enthusiastic.

"Yippee," Tony said sarcastically. Pepper smiled as the two of them finished the remaining ice cream in a welcomed and comfortable silence.

**You wanna know what's weird? I already have one of the chapters to this fic completely written – but it's a ways down (I won't tell you which chappie it is – you'll start getting ideas). Now I need to write all the chapters in between. *roll of eyes* Darn you, sequencing! Why can't nine come before three? XP**

**I know this chapter wasn't the most exciting, B=but you know what that means, don't you? Exactly! Full fledged craziness is definitely on its way (remember the already finished chapter, hint hint!)**

**review anyway :) express your love…or if you didn't like something hate works too. XP**


	6. Chapter 6

**Probably my lengthiest chapter EVAR. Hopefully not too many people will complain. XP**

**Chapter 6**

"But I thought you said I don't have to go!" Tony exclaimed hardly believing his ears.

"Why would I say a crazy thing like that?" Pepper laughed, tossing him his suit jacket before she curled up on the couch, a drink in her hand. She looked up at him, smirking triumphantly. "I already RSVP'd for you and the party is in half an hour. What the hell are you still doing here?"

"I thought it was tomorrow," he pouted. "I made plans."

Pepper raised an eyebrow, obviously impressed. "You? Made…plans?"

"I planned to do nothing for the rest of the night...and maybe work on the hot rod."

"Tony, you're going to be late."

"But isn't it supposed to be tomorrow?"

"No...they moved it. I told you that already."

"I don't remember."

Pepper's smile remained plastered on her face as she stood up, pushing him towards the door. "Goodnight, Tony," she said laughing.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"No," Pepper said taking his face in her hands and pouting like a child. "I'm going to miss you while you're gone but you promised to be there, and I'll take hell if you ditch so get your ass out of the house, right now!"

"You're trying to get rid of me!"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I'm trying to get rid of you because I don't want anyone to chase me down."

"What am I going to again?"

Pepper raised up her hands in exasperation. "Stark Industries is buying out Hammer! It's just an informal celebration…party…thing."

"Wait, so why aren't _you_ going to be there?"

"Because today's my day off," Pepper said simply, turning her head to the side as if to say she was done with this conversation.

But Tony sure as hell wasn't. He frowned, refusing to take another step closer to the door. He thought about it for a moment before exclaiming with a wrinkle of his nose, "No, it's not!"

"It's my _self_-_appointed_ day off," she corrected with a smirk.

"Just how many of these self appointed days off do you have?"

"As many as I feel like having. Besides," she paused for a moment, fixing his shirt. "My favorite show is on and it's the season finale." She added the last part quickly but was unable to completely wipe off the smile on her face.

_You have got to be kidding me_. "But that's not fair!" Tony whined.

"It doesn't have to be fair. I want to watch and I don't want to go to this party so it works out pretty well for me."

"So record it and come with me, I'll get bored!"

"No, I've been waiting for months for this episode and I want to watch it now." She rolled her eyes as she went to sit on the couch. Honestly, he could be so childish at times.

"I'll stay here until you change your mind and come," he said, sitting next to her. "Which means I could be very late."

"Oh, what a catastrophe. Tony Stark late. _Again_." She shook her head. "You're just getting desperate. If you don't leave now…I'll make sure JARVIS makes your life hell tomorrow."

Tony considered leaving. She had proven that she had her own impossible powers over his own AI. She'd change passwords to files and make sure JARVIS didn't let Tony in until hours later. Once she'd even shut down the system for a full hour. It had only been an hour but Tony was sure the world was going to cave in on itself. Tony was forced to learn how to lock up the front door – with a _key_.

Tony groaned remembering all of these instances and Pepper grinned triumphantly. She had won – she already knew.

"I don't like you very much," Tony said as he stood up and grabbed his wallet.

"I love you too!" she yelled after him, laughing.

"_I love you too_," Tony repeated mockingly in a high pitched voice just before leaving the house.

She smiled, locking the door behind him after he had left. As soon as she was alone, she sighed loudly, her back against the front door.

_What am I doing_?

There really was no reason for him to go by himself – she could always record her show if she wanted to, so why was she willingly about to lock herself up in Tony's mansion for the rest of the night? She was just making excuses by staying here because if she was completely and totally honest with herself, she knew she was staying behind because she didn't want to go.

_Well, I never want to go_, Pepper told herself. But she seemed to be filled with new determination to not attend. Did she choose not to go because she thought it was boring, another meaningless event...or because she didn't want to answer any questions? Because she didn't want to face everyone making her relationship with Tony a big deal?

Since when had she been so worried about what everyone else thought?

_Screw this_. She was out of here.

* * *

Tony was back at the bar downing his third drink in just the first hour and of course, his little alone time was interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. He rolled his eyes, as he turned to see who it was.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"Following you around, obviously," Rhodey answered, smirking as he ordered for his own Scotch.

"Rhodey…how did you even get in here?"

Tony's friend frowned. "I can get myself anywhere I want, I don't need an invite."

Tony wasn't convinced but he didn't say anything.

"So where's Pepper?"

"It's her day off."

"Pepper's or your assistant's ?" Rhodey asked, devilish gleam in his eyes.

Tony made a funny face as if to say, _Oh yeah, you're a comic genius_ as he was handed his own drink.

"Just how many of those things have you had?"

"Pepper's not here," Tony said instead, as if that constituted an answer _and_ an excuse.

Rhodey opened his mouth to say something but suddenly changed his mind. He frowned, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared at something behind Tony. "I wouldn't be too sure of that," he said nodding behind Tony.

Tony turned around and finally noticed what, or more accurately who, had caught Rhodey's attention. An undeniable smile crossed his lip and for the first time that night, he actually thought things were looking up. Pepper had just walked in, wearing a velvet black cocktail dress and had stopped by to greet a few people at the door. She was all smiles as she shook everyone's hand, politely excusing herself so she could meet Tony. Everyone's eye was on her as she walked toward him, curiosity taking over the crowd.

"Hey, Rhodey," she greeted and Tony was immediately offended. "What about me?"

"How many of these have you had?" she asked him instead, raising an eyebrow and taking his drink.

"It's his third," Rhodey answered.

"Shut up."

"I think that's enough for now," she said, keeping the drink away from Tony, who now didn't look so excited that she was around.

"So how was your show?" Tony asked skeptically.

Pepper scoffed. "Terrible – the main character died and everything, it was just awful."

"Uh huh," Tony hummed, nodding as the side of his mouth turning upward to form a proud smirk; almost as if he was pleased with himself.

"What, did you really think I came here to see _you_?"

"It might've crossed my mind."

Rhodey rolled his eyes, already bored. "Later," he muttered, taking his drink with him.

"Thank God," Tony said, rolling his eyes when Rhodey left and Pepper smiled, biting her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing.

"So why did you _really_ come out here?" Tony asked, leaning on the bar table to face her completely.

Pepper said nothing, simply raising an eyebrow at his question, smirking. Tony laughed lightly, using the opportunity to retrieve his drink, but Pepper didn't bother stopping him.

"That's your last one, though," she warned, nodding at him warningly.

Tony rolled his eyes. _No, it's not_, he thought to himself. Pepper's facial expression changed all of a sudden as she noticed something going on behind Tony – Christine Everhart was about to make her entrance and she was heading their way.

_It's like she's got her own personal GPS aimed for Tony._

"Don't be surprised by the next voice you hear," Pepper warned.

"What do you mean?"

"And play nice."

"What?"

"Well, if it isn't the happy couple," Christine greeted enthusiastically with a biting sarcasm laced beneath it. "I don't think anyone saw this one coming."

"I didn't see _you_ coming," Tony muttered while drinking.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"He said you're absolutely charming," Pepper said before Tony could say anything else. "Don't you have anyone else to harass tonight?"

She shrugged, smiling. "Stark Industries happens to be the most important part of tonight. You're the main course. Both of you, actually," she said, reserving a particularly evil look for Pepper.

Tony bent his head to the side and shook his head once. "_The Chronicle_ already beat you to this story."

"Of course, I'm only here as a reporter," Christine said, ignoring Tony's words.

"Mm," Tony said, finding his opportunity to get rid of her. "In that case you're best bet would probably Stanley Smith, over there – he's the one willing to the sell the company and he's actually visited Hammer a few times in prison. You could probably do a decent spread on him."

"Maybe you could even write an article," Pepper added.

Christine glared at her and Tony sipped from his drink again to keep himself from laughing. Finally he said, "So we'll see you some other time tonight." There was a sense of finality in his voice. Something that said, _That means leave_.

And she took the hint. "We'll see how that goes," Christine said with a smile before leaving – and glaring again at Pepper.

"I thought _you_ said play nice," Tony said once she had left.

"I changed my mind," Pepper answered, rolling her eyes. "Now I have a headache…I need a martini."

* * *

"I heard it's serious," she told her friend as the two of them studied Tony and Pepper. Of course, they weren't the only ones paying attention – half the room had also been stealing glances at the pair all night. And quite frankly Lisa was sick of it – it was time to actually do something about it.

"Which makes my job easier," Lisa answered. "Honestly, when he stopped having sex all of a sudden I thought he had found religion."

"You still can't have him," her friend said plainly.

"Like hell I can't."

Her friend shook her head. "Game's over." She put down her drink. "He's a lost cause."

"Just because he's taken, doesn't make him completely unattainable." Lisa had an evil look in her eye. An evil, diabolical look. In another life, she could have been Napoleon…or Cleopatra. "Religion just makes my job harder."

"You're an idiot."

"Tell me that tomorrow morning."

Her friend rolled her eyes. "Whatever you have in mind isn't going to work. Especially with his girlfriend around. Go find another dick for the night."

She bit her bottom lip thinking as she lightly touched the rim of her glass. No one else besides her friend could see the dime sized pill lightly drop into her drink, fizzling in an instant.

"I had a friend solidify it for me," she explained. "I hate powders."

"You're going to attempt to rape Tony Stark," her friend said, hoping she'd realize just how stupid this was.

But instead of realize the craziness of the situation, Lisa frowned. "Goodness, no. What do you think this is? GHB? He'd be useless."

"So what is it?"

"It just gives all the alcohol he's had a little boost, that's all. It's not even illegal."

"Then why won't you tell me what it is?"

"Because you'd blab."

"I'll blab because this is ridiculous." But Lisa was past the point of understanding reason. She called for a bartender and then told him what to do with the drink. Her friend nudged her arm, warningly. "Lisa, you know him, he's going to keep drinking like a fish anyway. And if you end up giving him this drink then you could wind up killing him."

She frowned, rolling her eyes. "You used to be more fun," she said as the bartender took the drink.

"Lisa!"

"It's too late anyway," she said, staying where she was. Tony and Pepper were still talking to, if her memory served correctly, the chief financial officer of Hammer Industries. Lisa had timed her act perfectly. Tony had just ordered for another Scotch and with Tony's back towards the bar, the bartender simply replaced his full glass with Lisa's. A few moments later, Tony picked it up and placed the glass to his lips while Pepper did nothing but give him a warning look as if to say, _That's it for you_.

Lisa smiled. "See? That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

* * *

Pepper had made sure the drink Tony had an hour ago was his last, and he didn't bother sneaking any more behind her back – but he felt like he had just drank the entire bar's reserve. What the hell had he downed last, freaking Everclear? Still, the last thing he was going to do was tell Pepper – he'd only get hell and it wasn't like she was going to believe his "But I didn't drink anymore" story. He'd already tried those – multiple times.

"I'm going to get some air," he whispered in Pepper's ear, praying to God he wasn't slurring. "I'll see you in a bit."

She looked up at him, obviously not entirely convinced. "Are you okay?" she asked, definitely worried. But at the same time, someone else was approaching her, about to get her attention.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

"You look clammy," Pepper said. "How much did you have to drink?"

_I don't think this has anything to do with how much I drank_. But he couldn't remember. He squinted, trying to think about it but lost hope. "I don't…I –don't…I don't know-" His mouth was going at a hundred words per minute, spitting out syllables but his brain wasn't sure what was coming out.

"Ms. Potts!" someone greeted, completely interrupting their conversation.

"I'll be out for a minute," Tony said, trying to reassure her. "I'll be right back."

But before she could object he had already left and Pepper was forced to entertain a mildly interesting guest.

Tony tried to keep a straight face, his mind really on one thing – getting the hell out of there. He managed to find the elevators, relieved that no one else was around to bug him and tapped the elevator button probably a dozen times before the doors finally opened. Again, he was relieved to find the elevator empty and half collapsed into the walls, waiting for the doors to close again, leaving him alone inside.

He breathed deeply several times, but he was finding it difficult to keep in the air. Only one side of his face was sweating as he gasped heavily, trying to keep himself balanced and upright. The elevator seemed to be spinning in different directions and he wasn't even sure which floor he was approaching. He groaned, mostly out of discomfort than out of pain. The only good thing was the _lack_ of pain. Nothing hurt, everything was just uncomfortable.

The door opened and at first, he didn't realize there was something waiting for him at the floor. But by the time he noticed the presence, she was already in the elevator with him, and she had her hand around his neck, pulling herself towards him.

Her lips latched onto his; an untamed animal finally released. She could feel him on her, his skipping pulse and her forcing the intensity. She could pretend it was because they wanted each other, but of course she knew the truth.

Tony mumbled beneath her, knowing what was happening but not quite understanding it. His mind seemed to be lagging behind by centuries but his senses were at full alert. But what use were senses when they brought the user no information?

"Hey, Tony," she giggled, dragging him out of the elevator by his tie. He didn't have the will – or ability, really – to object. He blindly followed.

"I want you," she breathed huskily, before taking him again.

His mind woke up, but only for a split second. His limbs seemed to work for him and he managed to put his hands between the two of them. He looked at her, still breathing heavily and frowned slightly. "Whaa-?" he gasped questioningly. But in that moment, his body was no longer his. She rolled her eyes and kicked open the door to one of the rooms, quickly ripping his jacket from his body, sure to swipe his keys first and throw them on the table. The tie came next as well as her own shoes as she led him towards the bed. She had to do this fast – if she didn't, he'd be giving his mind more time to figure out what was going on, time he could use to resist. Best to take advantage of his lost self. She would know. This wasn't her first ride.

She pushed him onto the bed and stood above him, quickly pulling her shirt up over her head before resting on him completely, kissing him deeply and fiercely. Tony reacted naturally. His hands found her waist, pulling her closer towards and his mouth opened, willingly accepting. She smiled as he kissed her, fingers finding the buttons of his shirt and undoing them. _Men_, she thought to herself, triumphantly. The battle was over – and now the fun began.

But something inside him woke up. _No_. He wasn't even sure if it was himself, his own subconscious, but something was giving him the hint that he shouldn't, no, _couldn't_ do this. _Stop_.

_Pepper._

He was awarded power to his limbs again as if my some higher deity. He still felt as if he wasn't in his own body, like he was playing a video game but was given only partial vision and awarded only one or two basic controls. He still felt useless. His hands were still on her hips but instead of pulling her towards him, he was pushing her away.

She sensed the resistance immediately. _Damn it, not yet!_ She stayed on top of him, holding him there herself while removing his buttons, but now with increasing frenzy.

But Tony was now waking up. He sat up completely, opening his eyes. But the light and change in orientation made him dizzy and he hold on to the bed sheets with one hand to stabilize himself. Still gasping, he placed his other hand between them trying to push her away, but her lips still remained on his.

"No, stop," he tried to explain, muttering into her mouth. But she wasn't too eager to say no just yet.

"You know you want this," she whispered seductively.

"Mmm..." But it was a hum of resistance and not submission. He felt powerless yet continued to attempt to push her away. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but think, _Something's wrong with this picture. _His hand tried to push her away by her shoulder and for a moment she finally gave way. Sensing progress, he continued to apply pressure to her shoulder, his fingers reaching her neck. The room wasn't spinning as much and feeling was returning to his limbs and yet, she continued to straddle him.

_I need to file a restraining order. _His eyes closed lazily, still trying to move her.

Something slammed shut, something in the background but to Tony it seemed miles away. The sound echoed in his mind, reaching him and his eyes sprung open, finally finding the strength to push her off him completely. But instead of falling to the floor, she simply stood above him, holding on the collar of his shirt.

"Why are you being so difficult?" she asked him, a playful look in her eye.

The room was still spinning, but nowhere near as badly as before. He stood up, forcing her to do the same and immediately he pushed her onto one of the walls of the room. Her eyes widened, suddenly fearful. This was _so_ not how it was supposed to go.

Tony pinned both of her arms. "You. Are psycho," he said in a short burst before leaving the room, buttoning his shirt as he left the room. His tie was on the floor but he didn't bother picking it up – he didn't want it.

When he opened the door, Pepper was leaning on the wall by the door, waiting for him.

* * *

Pepper had seen that look in Tony's eyes before he had left. A look that clearly said, "I am drunk. Take me home now." Of course she was disappointed; his drinking was really the one thing that really pissed her off more than anything. So as soon as Tony left, she knew the night was over and she'd be the one to take him home for the rest of the night - and the one to deal with the morning after.

When she had finally managed to get rid of the guest that had taken up her attention, she followed the path Tony had taken towards the back of the hall and managed to catch a glance of him heading towards the elevators down the hall. She had frowned a little, her nose wrinkling – where was he going? The bathrooms and doors that led outside were in the opposite direction. By the time she had reached the elevators, he was already inside and the doors had closed.

_Someone's in a hurry_, she thought to herself as she tapped the elevator button impatiently. She had checked the blinking light above the elevator Tony had taken, watching the respective numbers light up. 2…3…4…just where did he think he was going? The numbers finally stopped blinking at six and Pepper nodded as another elevator opened up for her.

When the doors finally opened, she braced herself for anything – to see him passed out on the floor of the hallway, laughing to himself in a corner, or maybe even looking for Jesus – at this point, she'd pretty much seen it all.

Instead, she found herself staring at an empty hallway.

_He couldn't have anywhere that fast,_ she thought to herself. But that was before she realized the half open door all but five meters away from her. The slowly approached and the closer she got, the more she could hear – there was someone else there. She peeked around the corner, and her heart stopped.

_You knew about his reputation, how he is with girls, complete lack of responsibility, his erratic behavior and you know quite well he always has and still will take you for granted. He'll never respect you._

But Pepper was convinced her mother was wrong. Tony was a different man after he came back, he wouldn't…

But there he was, holding another woman while she straddled him – and he wasn't doing anything to stop it. His hands were on her neck and her fingers were lost in his hair. Articles of clothing were thrown in a haphazard mess across the room, forming a trail from the door to the bed. His tie, her shirt…

She was lost for words, not sure what to say, what to think, what to feel. Just hopelessness. She felt like she had been in there for minutes but it had only been all but five seconds. She couldn't stay here, she couldn't be here. His keys were on the table just by the door and without thinking she took them and slammed the door shut. It wasn't until after she had done it she realized he would probably hear it.

She remained where she was, her back resting on the wall by the door. Finally, the tears came, silently slipping past her cheeks and Pepper covered her mouth to keep her from sobbing aloud.

* * *

Just outside the room, their eyes met and the emotion found in them matched the other's – horror.

_No, it's not what you think, that's not how it is…_

_How could you do this to me?_

_It wasn't me, I didn't want to…_

_Am I not good enough anymore?_

_I'm sorry, please understand, let me explain first…_

_Is this the first time you've done this? Or the fifth? A dozen times before?_

_Let me explain, Pepper—_

What they were thinking, though, never escaped their lips. Their eyes told everything, but both were too caught up in their own emotions, their thoughts, and fears…until Pepper couldn't take anymore.

"Don't follow me," she whispered before turning her back on him and back towards the elevators.

She was leaving. No, she couldn't leave… "No, Pepper, stop-" he took her hand but she yanked it away, quickly pressing the elevator button. It immediately opened and she rushed inside.

"Pepper, please, let me-"

"Get out!" she screamed, pushing him out of the elevator. He was forced back as the elevators started to close in front of her.

He didn't even wait for the doors to shut completely. He rushed for the stairs, determined to make it down in time to meet her though he was six floors up. Still feeling dizzy, he rushed down the stairs, nearly falling flat on his face multiple times. He had to get down in time, he had to explain, he had to find her…As he rushed down, he searched his pockets, looking for his keys. His keys, his keys…

_Screw this._ He pulled out his phone, dialing Happy's number. He answered on the first ring. "Happy! Where are you?" Tony asked, panting as he ran down.

"I'm just outside, waiting for _you_ actually. Ms. Potts just took your car so I'll be here-"

_Already?_ "Start the car, I'll be there in a second."

He hung up, finally reaching the final floor. Everyone in the hall seemed to be against him though, and he found himself weaving through a crowd of people who wouldn't move. Couldn't they see that he was in a hurry? He needed to reach her, he needed to find her, to explain…it wasn't his fault, he had to make her understand.

He was stopped three times on the way, but each time, he ignored whoever was trying to get his attention. He must have looked like a mess – his shirt was a wrinkled mess, tie and jacket gone, but he didn't care.

"Where to, Sir?" Happy asked, once he was finally in the back seat of the car.

Where would she go? Where would she be?

"Take me home, Happy."

* * *

"Pepper!" Tony screamed as soon as he was inside. "Pepper!" He heard fumbling in his room and clung on to the hope that she was here, and she was. But he didn't like what he saw. She was packing – throwing her things into a duffel bag.

"Pepper, stop-"

"I don't want to hear it, Tony," she said, forcing herself not to look at him. If she looked at him, she might change her mind.

"Please, stop…" He reached for her but she dodged his hand.

"I can't stay here," she explained, zipping up her bag.

"Listen to me, Pepper, you have to listen to me-"

"No, I don't!" she screamed, finally turning to face him. "I don't need to listen to anything you have to say anymore, do you hear me? I am done!"

He shook his head. _No, please, don't leave me…_ "Pepper, it wasn't like that-" He reached for her hand again but wasn't given the opportunity to take it.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed. She quickly backed away, holding her hand out. She exhaled sharply and closed her eyes for a moment. "I…I have to go-"

"No, you don't-"

"I have to get out of here." She opened a drawer and stared at its contents.

"Please, Pepper, let me explain what happened-"

"Okay!" she screamed looking at him. "Explain." But now given the opportunity to speak, he found himself speechless, completely devoid of words. What should he say? What _could_ he say? He shook his head slightly, lost as tears fell from her eyes. Her face crumpled but not out of self pity or sadness – anger.

"Explain!" she yelled as she cried, anger literally shaking her entire body.

"I…I can't…" And he couldn't, because he didn't know. He was just as lost as she was, just as clueless and just as helpless.

"That's not good enough," she spat at him, picking up what she had been looking at – a single piece of paper and his heart stopped, thinking there may be hope. A note…a letter…maybe…

"Do you remember this?" she asked him, holding it up. "Do you remember when you wrote it?" She laughed bitterly as she opened it up, scanning. "Do you—do you even remember what it says…it says…" she laughed again, but her eyes weren't in it. A dry almost maniacal laugh. "It says.._I'll always be yours_…" She looked at him. "Why did you give me this? Why did you give me something that is a _lie_!" She screamed the last word, barging past him and pushing him aside.

"Pepper, it's not!" He said, going after her. "It's not a lie, I would never lie to you-"

"Don't tell me that, Tony!"

"It's the truth-"

"I said don't tell me that!"

Before she could go any further he took her shoulders and held onto her arms. "Pepper, I love you too much, I'd never want to hurt you-"

"Don't touch me," she seethed between clenched teeth, refusing to look at him.

"You have to believe that, Pepper-"

"I don't have to believe anything! I am finished and I don't care what stupid excuse you come up with, I don't care if you say you love me or even if you do…I don't care what true and what's not anymore, because I don't know which is which!"

She pushed him back, dropping her bag on the floor in the hallway. She quickly walked up to the fireplace and sat next to it, the flames warming her face.

Tony sat beside her, unable to read her expression. "Pepper, please."

But she shook her head, holding the letter in her fist, her hand shaking.

"Pepper, I don't know what happened," he tried to tell her honestly. "I don't know, I couldn't stop it…Pepper, please…"

"Tony, what do you honestly expect me to believe-?"

"I'm not lying to you-"

"When I saw you…and that woman…"

"Please, Pepper-"

He noticed her hand move and finally understood what she was trying to do. She wanted to get rid of him for good, forever if possible. But to do that she'd have to let go, completely detach. She was going to burn his letter – let him go completely.

He shook his head. He didn't want her to leave, he couldn't let her leave. "Pepper, don't do this…"

Pepper only shook her head in reply, concentrating.

"Pepper, please, you have to be believe me, please believe me-"

She swallowed, closing her eyes.

"I love you so much, please-"

Her grip tightened on the paper and she clenched her teeth together. "No, you don't."

"I do, Pepper-"

"You're lying to me."

"I'm not-" he tried to explain but she had already made the motion. She let go as the crumpled sheet of paper met the growing flames and just as easily, so did the hope that continuing a relationship would ever see the light of day.

"Pepper-"

"I have to go," she said, standing up. But even though she had vanquished her hope, the tears remained, still pouring in never ending streams. She didn't want to let go, but here she was, finally leaving him. She picked up her bags and heard Tony behind her, trying to follow her out.

She opened the door, but Tony stopped her.

"Why don't you believe me?" he finally asked.

And why didn't she? _Because all the evidence lines up against you. Because I'm angry. Because I'm scared. Because I don't understand how this could happen, what I've done wrong. Because I don't know why you didn't stop it. _

"I love you, Pepper-"

The look in his eyes seemed sincere, but what did she know anymore. She looked right back at him. "I don't love you," she told him. "That's the difference."

She said it out of pure spite but even now, knowing everything that she did, witnessing what she had just seen, she knew it was just another lie – and Tony believed it. He said nothing finally taking his hand from the door.

"I'll be here in the morning with my resignation, Mr. Stark," she said simply before she left. The one person he had ever loved had walked out on him.

And could he truly blame her? After what had happened…even he himself didn't understand it. And he wouldn't be able to prove anything – he didn't know her name, he didn't even remember what she looked like. She could knock on his door right now and he wouldn't know it was her.

He had screwed up, and it wasn't his fault. Yet, he hated himself for it. He slid to the floor, his back resting on the front door. Now that he was still, the dizziness was returning and he realized just how sick he still was, but he didn't care. All he could think about was how much he wanted her…_needed_ her. He loved her and she was gone.

He remained in that position for over fifteen minutes, the room spinning a little. He had no reason to move, no motivation to move. He could die there for all he cared; it wouldn't make a difference.

It was JARVIS who interrupted the extended silence.

_Sir, Nick Fury is online._

"Put him through," he said, without even moving. At least this was a distraction. A distraction that could last the rest of the night but it was better than nothing at this point.

"Get your stuff ready, Tony. We've got things to do."

* * *

Liz answered the door almost immediately.

"Ginny, it's almost midnight, what-?" But she stopped when she saw Pepper's red eyes and the tears. And her heart pounded in her chest when she saw her duffel bag.

"Oh, God," Liz gasped, quickly taking her bag. "Jesus, come in here…are you okay?"

Pepper didn't answer though. "We…we were at this party and he left…he left and he-"

"Ginny, I'm so sorry."

"He just left to…and then he-"

"It's okay, come here…"

Pepper's face crumpled as she sobbed openly for the first time. Liz embraced her, silently cursing the man that had hurt her sister. _I hope you rot in hell, Tony._

**Review please! Let me know what you think!**

**:)**

**or I guess :( is more appropriate  
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	7. Chapter 7

**BAM! Who put up a chapter two days later? ME! Thanks for the numerous reviews so far guys! :)**

**Chapter 7**

She would be completely professional. That's how she'd make her point clear. She didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore and she wanted him to know that. Pepper hadn't bothered officially drafting her resignation but by tomorrow, she knew she'd have it ready.

But when she stepped foot in the mansion, she could immediately tell he wasn't inside. JARVIS, for some reason, was offline, and everything was exactly where it had been the night before – some of her clothes were still strewn across the floor and the lights were on though it was broad daylight.

She frowned, deciding she'd leave a note and then leave – there was no need to hang around anymore. This wasn't her place. But before she could even conduct a decent search, her phone rang and instantly she pulled it out, checking caller ID. She relaxed once she realized who it was.

"Hi, Rhodey," she answered, trying to hide the wavering in her voice.

But Rhodey wasn't listening for that. He sounded as if he had just come back from the marathon of his life. "Pepper!" he yelled, and she pulled the phone back a few centimeters away from her face due to the loud noise. There was something happening in the background – beeping, talking. Like a train station.

"What is it?" she asked, already growing worried. He never sounded so…uneasy.

"It's Tony-"

Her front was immediately up and Pepper frowned. "I don't want to hear anything about him, right now," she said, making it blatantly clear she was done with that topic.

Rhodey was silent on the other end for a few short seconds. _Aw, shit_. "Tony's in the hospital," he said simply.

Her world stopped as Rhodey's words echoed in her head. _Tony is in the hospital…_No, that couldn't be right. She had seen him yesterday, yelled at him…left. She had seen him just hours ago.

"What-" she croaked.

"I don't know, something happened-"

_What happened!_ she wanted to scream, but Rhodey had stopped, as if he had just been cut off. She wanted to hate Tony, stay angry at him forever – she wanted him to feel every ounce of pain she had felt last night; but now she wanted to scream. "Rhodey, what happened?"

"I…I'll tell you, just come to the hospital-"

"No!" she screamed. "No, I want you to tell me now!"

"No one's telling me much, I don't know what's going on!"

"What happened last night?" she asked, dreading the answer before she even received it.

"I'm not sure, he – he went off in the suit and something happened, I'm not sure. Tony set it up so that JARVIS calls me whenever he or the suit in some sort of…compromised situation. And I got a call-"

"What do you mean compromised?"

"If he's hurt or if the suit stops working, I'm not sure, alright? We found him in some New Mexico desert but he wasn't moving or anything."

This was her fault. She had left him though he was obviously drunk. Why the hell he would choose to don his suit of armor and fly into God knew where as intoxicated as he was last night was completely beyond her, but if she had been there she would have told him to stay home; she would have told Fury to go to hell.

And in that instant, she understood why he had left – he had left so he could forget. With everything that happened last night…she closed her eyes, trying not to think about it, trying not to remember. Last night, he must have been looking for some sort of distraction, a way to forget the recent events. And this had been mental escape.

And now he was… "Is he okay?"

She heard Rhodey's hesitation and assumed the worst. "Rhodey!" she screamed, tears threatened to escape her eyes. He was dead – that's why he wasn't saying anything. Tony was dead. And it was her fault. She had slowly slid to the floor and was now gripping her cell phone waiting for an answer.

"Pepper, I'm sorry-"

It still wasn't an answer still, but it was more than enough. Tony was dead, he was dead…

"I don't know, Pepper-" Rhodey's voice literally stopped her heart. What was he saying, he didn't know? "The doctors took him; they said they want to operate-"

He wasn't dead. Just like that, he was given back to her. He wasn't gone after all.

"Pepper, they're not telling me anything, I don't know how he's doing." His tone didn't sound promising at all – it sounded like he wasn't sure if it was worth it to hope for more. "You need to come down here."

* * *

Outside the hospital, the press was waiting behind an indicated line, trying to find answers about the well known man inside. Pepper wanted to slap all of them, angry that they could be here, harassing everyone in search of answers without caring about the man that was actually inside. And as she made her way towards the entrance of the building, some of those same people began haranguing her with questions she still didn't know the answers to. Why where they here? They didn't care.

She looked like a lost sheep once she was inside and everything around her seemed to be happening in a meaningless blur – like white noise. Babies were crying, people were talking, papers were being shuffled, phones ringing… yet she couldn't decipher anything out of it or process what was happening around her. Nothing seemed to make sense. Where was she? What was she doing here? Tony was hurt. Why?

Someone was tugging on her shoulder and it took Pepper a brief moment to understand what was happening. She turned around, searching for some sort of familiarity but was again faced with an aspect of the unknown.

"Ms. Potts?"

A doctor – anyone sane could easily tell thanks to the lab coat. But she didn't understand that. What does he want? "Who are you?" she asked instead. But what she meant was, "Where is he?"

"I'm Dr. Cowley."

The other question…he hadn't answered her second question. Then she realized she hadn't verbally asked it yet. "Where is he?" she breathed, barely above a whisper.

But still, he didn't answer at first. Instead, he started walking down the hall, motioning to her to follow. "We'll talk where it's quieter."

Pepper said nothing as the two of them maneuvered through crowded and intricate halls. She found herself peeping through as many windows as possible, hoping she'd find Tony – that they had arrived at his room. But instead, Dr. Cowley continued to walk until they reached a dead end – private offices. And Rhodey was leaning on one of the walls, waiting for them.

Dr. Cowley walked into his office but Pepper waited outside for a moment to talk to Rhodey. "How is he?"

"They haven't told me anything either, Pepper-" he tried to explain.

"But you've seen him."

He hesitated at first, but finally nodded his head.

"How is he?" she asked again, begging to know. She had to know, she couldn't handle being left in the dark for any longer. She needed _something_.

"Pepper-"

"Tell me the truth."

Rhodey looked away, unable to meet her eyes for a second. At last he looked at her, before walking into the doctor's office. "He's not doing too good." And that was the most honest answer he could give.

* * *

Dr. Cowley was scanning dozens of documents as he explained Tony's situation. "When you brought him in I didn't think he'd make it through the night-"

"Last night?" Pepper asked, staring at Rhodey, hardly believing her ears.

"Yes, he was brought in at about three in the morning," Dr. Cowley verified without even looking up.

_Last night_. He'd been here overnight and she hadn't even known. It was nine in the morning now and she had just found out. Rhodey had kept this a secret; he hadn't called her…

"He shouldn't have made it through the night at all for that matter." He looked up at the two of them. "He was put on a ventilator around five thirty this morning after his lungs shut down and lost all responsiveness an hour afterwards."

"Responsiveness," Pepper spoke up again. "What do you mean, what's wrong with him now?"

Dr. Cowley hesitated and looked at Rhodey, a look of confusion on his face. Rhodey had his head in his hand as if not sure what to do now. "You didn't tell her…" Dr. Cowley started, not liking where this is going.

Pepper wanted to scream. "Didn't tell me what?"

Dr. Cowley chose to answer her. "Mr. Stark…is in a coma," he said slowly, waiting for the words to sink in. "We're estimating he fell at about six this morning."

But she wasn't about to lose hope just yet. Things couldn't end this way. "But people come out of comas, doesn't he…?" But she couldn't finish and the words got stuck in the back of her throat. _Doesn't he have a chance?_

"Actually, that's the problem." Then he shifted topics. "That…device in his chest…what is it?"

_The reactor. The reactor's killing him again._ "It keeps….shrapnel in his chest out of his heart…it's like a magnet so that the shrapnel won't reach his heart and kill him." Then after a moment of frustration she wove her hand through her hair. "I don't know, I don't…it's killing him now, isn't it? It just-"

"No, no, it's not," Dr. Cowley quickly told her. "It's probably the only reason he's alive right now, his heart should have stopped ages ago, it must be keeping it going. But – the reactor does prove to be a problem."

_It's killing him, it's killing him_.

"To be one hundred percent certain he's in a coma and to see his brain activity, we'd need to run a CT or MRI. But MRIs are like giant magnets so the machine would just rip it out of him. And CT scans would cause a starburst, obscuring the image. We can't do either of those with the…reactor…still inside him."

"So he might not be in a coma."

"We're a hundred percent sure he's in a coma – but we can't _legally_ say that. Legally it's just speculation because we'd need an MRI as proof, which we can't get. It becomes a problem, because it makes it difficult for us to see how we can treat the problem and if there's an underlying cause we're not sure of. We did an EEG and it confirms but it's still inconclusive."

"Why?"

"There's a lot of alcohol in his system," he tried to explain. "It's almost on the verge of alcohol poisoning but not quite there. So much alcohol isn't making any of our data useful."

_Alcohol poisoning?_ "No, that can't be right, I was with him last night he only had three or four drinks tops-"

Dr. Cowley didn't look convinced and Pepper held her head in her hand. Of course he didn't believe her – he'd probably dealt with stories like this all the time. But she knew, despite how difficult Tony's alcohol problem was he'd never…_You're lying to yourself. Alcohol poisoning is hopelessly likely…it might even explain last night…what happened. What you saw._

Now she was making excuses for him. She was trading one evil for another, knowing that alcoholism was the lesser of two.

She sighed, about to break down mentally."So what now?" Pepper asked. "If he doesn't have a chance to get better, is he stuck like this?" Her voice cracked at the end and Pepper closed her eyes, trying to compose herself.

"We've kept a close eye on his condition, observing everything that's happening and charting it out ourselves…" Dr. Cowley sighed. "He's getting worse," he warned them. "He's losing brain function and at this rate, we think he'll be brain dead by this evening at best."

Pepper's mouth went dry as she, once again, tried to understand the words coming out of his mouth. _He'd be brain dead_. What did that mean? It didn't make sense for those words to be somehow related to Tony. No, not _her_ Tony. Tony couldn't be dead, he couldn't die. Not yet. Not now. Not like this, not with him thinking she hated him…She didn't hate him. She could never hate him…she was angry, she was upset but she didn't hate him. Oh God, please no…

She didn't even realize the tears falling past her cheeks. She sat perfectly still, holding on to her hands as if in a desperate plea of surrender and desperation.

"Ms. Potts," Dr. Cowley said cautiously and quietly. "When that happens…you'll have the choice between keeping him on life support, or…" he drifted, sure she understood the other option. "But again, the problem is that we can't be one hundred percent sure that he's brain dead – we can't legally declare that." He paused hoping she understood.

And she did. Again, she was faced with the impossible choice – to kill him or to keep him alive knowing he was already dead. Death or death? If he was brain dead, there was no reason to keep him here – he wouldn't want that. But she wouldn't be _sure_ if he was really brain dead. So if she pulled the plug, there was that chance, that small but minute, almost invisible chance, that she'd be killing a living man – that Tony was still in there and she killed him. And she would never know the truth.

"You're telling me," she said softly. "That I could kill him…even if he's still in there."

Dr. Cowley nodded once.

She was lost for words. There were none left for her to say. She looked at Rhodey and immediately she could tell this was the first time he had heard this news. Pepper took in a shaky breath. She couldn't stay here, she needed to get out. She needed to…

She looked up at Tony's attending doctor. "I need to see him," she whispered, as her eyes pooled with tears.

* * *

This wasn't Tony.

The Tony she knew was energetic, spontaneous…_crazy_. He always had new ideas, new schemes and plans, and new ways to surprise her. He always knew what she needed and would do everything possible to make sure she got it. He was full of life and full of love – for her. He was always either smiling or smirking triumphantly. An arrogant pain in the ass who always put her first. An idol to many; a lover to her. The man she had fallen in love with, and had proven to be everything she could ever need or want.

But this – the man lying in the hospital bed now? This man had a giant tube connected to him that led to one of the many machines by his bedside – and the tube was taped to his mouth in an unnatural and grotesque way – as if he was already dead. His mouth hung open at an odd angle as the device gave him the air he needed to survive. IV's decorated his arm like needles in a pin cushion and he was completely motionless. The only sense of life in this man was the slight rise and fall of his chest thanks to the ventilator. She didn't know this man – this wasn't Tony.

But she recognized his face – his hair was a mess but when she wove her hand through his hair, she remembered it. His eyebrows, trimmed goatee…yes, she recognized all of it. There were a few mild cuts on his cheek, a new and forming bruise on his arm. This man _looked_ like Tony, but he wasn't in there. She didn't know where her Tony was, or where to find him.

She sat next to him, watching his chest rise and fall methodically, a planned sequence. Even his breathing didn't belong to him. She lightly touched his cheek and as she did, she remembered the night before. She had been angry, and in the heat of that anger, she had said those things to him, words that could kill. Words that _did _kill after all, look where he was now.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, hating herself. She wished it was her on that table instead of him. She wished she could go back and change those words, change what she had done. If she had been there last night she wouldn't have let him leave. He wouldn't be on a hospital bed, waiting for Death to find him. She had abandoned him, and now he was dying.

"Tony, I didn't mean it," she sobbed helplessly. A part of her knew her words were falling on dead soil, that he couldn't hear. That he wasn't _there_. But another part of her hoped that there was a trace of him left, that something inside him remained. So that even if he couldn't hear, he could still listen. And maybe, just maybe, he would forgive her. Maybe he'd come back to her and maybe she'd be granted a second chance. "What I said last night, what I said to you I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it…please, don't leave me…"

_You did mean it._

"No, I didn't."

_You hate me._

"Tony, no…" She could hear him talking to her, taunting her. Why was he saying those things?

_You hate me._

"I'm sorry, Tony, please…I don't hate you, I could never hate you…I was angry," she tried to explain to an unconscious Tony. "I love you…please, don't leave me…"

_You don't love me_.

The tears that were already flowing freely escaped her eyes in waves. She held on to his hand, shaking her head. "No, Tony…please…"

_You don't love me_.

"No, that's not true…"

_So where is it? Where is the letter I wrote you three months ago when I was dying? Where is it, Pepper? Where did you keep it? What did you do with it?_

She wept, finding no way to answer. Her head rested on the side of the bed and her hand was still holding on to his. She shook as cried, the sobs racking her entire body. She had thrown it away. She threw it away because she was angry and because she thought she hated him. And now it was the one thing she wanted most, but it had now been disintegrated into ashes. Gone. Like him.

She had killed him – in more ways than one. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, her voice wavering.

_You don't love me_.

"I'm sorry..."

_You killed me._

"No…" She felt like she was dying, hearing those words. But in the back of her mind, she knew this wasn't Tony. This was her conscience, taking a new persona, taunting her and hurting her, reminding her over and over again of what she had done to him.

Those words echoed in her mind over and over again as she wept by his side. _You killed me. You don't love me. You killed me._ But Tony was oblivious. He didn't even know she was there – he was simply in a hospital room, attached to a machine that helped him breathe.

**Okay guys, obviously I'm not a doctor so I'm sure I've screwed stuff up here. But give me some credit, yeah? I'm still a House M.D girl at heart, despite how angry season 6 made me (that's another story).**

**Me and my medicine. I know – last fic, medical problems. This fic, more medical jargon. Why, do you ask? Well, because it's the one thing our beloved Tony Stark can't fix. I know – a relatively depressing thought.**

**Reviews are welcome, and greatly appreciated. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**This one's a wee bit shorter - sorry, guys. And I'm just letting you know now – these ultra fast updates aren't going to happen forever. I move into my dorm (YAY!) Saturday so I'm going to be hella busy Friday AND Saturday. I'll try and write some Sunday, classes start Monday and who knows what's going to happen afterwards. So enjoy these while you can!**

**Chapter 8**

Tony was declared brain dead at four thirty that afternoon – well before the doctor's estimated time.

"Not legally brain dead – it's technically speculation," she was reminded over and over again.

_They're trying to cover their own ass_, Pepper realized. But she said nothing. _They don't want to get in trouble for the death of Tony Stark. So if they turn out wrong about the brain death but I choose to pull the plug, they can say that I was informed. That it's not their fault. That they didn't kill him. That _I_ did._

And knowing all this did not make the decision any easier for her.

Her entire being was thrown into turmoil. In one hand, she was given information that haunted her – the alcohol poisoning and the girl he had found her with last night. Her worst nightmares come true, and it made her question just how well she knew Tony. She had been the one to work with him for years and she had seen both of these demons. Why had she been so convinced dating him would have made either demon disappear?

Yet, she clung on to the feeble hope; the belief that one of those evils could be the reason for the other. Perhaps it was the alcohol that had caused the unfaithfulness. Maybe he wasn't sure what was happening, maybe…

So is this what it had all come down to? Her trying to make excuses for him just so she could remember him in a more positive light?

But when she thought of the Tony she had known before, she couldn't help but think she was missing something. And she wasn't just talking about the man she had chosen to date for the last three months, but the man who had come back from the Middle East a year ago and had tried to do something _meaningful_ – who had tried to make a difference in his own way. Responsibility he lacked, punctuality was nonexistent, but without even knowing it, he had become selfless. And it was the first thing she noticed when he returned, and the first thing that drew her towards him, forced her to see him as someone different.

Was that the same man who even had the ability to do what he had done last night? No, it wasn't possible…She had to be missing key information.

So why was she so confused?

And now they said he was dead. They were trying to tell her he was gone forever and that there was nothing she could do about it. That he had died, with him thinking she hated him.

The words she had spoken in the heat of anger echoed endlessly in her mind.

_I don't need to listen to anything you have to say anymore, do you here me? I am done!_

_Why did you give me this? Why did you give me something that is a lie?_

_Don't touch me, Tony!_

_I don't have to believe anything! I am finished and I don't care what stupid excuse you come up with…_

_I don't love you. That's the difference._

Had she told him that? Told him that she didn't love him? What a _lie_. A stone cold lie – she could never hate him and now, staring at a supposed lifeless body, she knew that. But it was too late – he was gone.

So which Tony would she remember? The Tony she had slowly fallen in love with over the last year? Or the one she had seen last night? The one who had supposedly killed himself with alcohol? Which one was the truth? Or more importantly, which would she choose to believe?

They were trying to force her into making a decision concerning whether or not she should pull the plug and let him go for good, but she couldn't think about something like that now. Even though he wasn't moving and the machines still did all of the work for him, he still looked alive. There was color in his cheeks and his chest rose and fell steadily. Yes – the ventilator and other machinery were responsible but when she looked at him and ignored the tubes and IVs, she didn't see a dead man. She saw a man simply sleeping, unconscious. He wasn't dead.

But every time they performed the EEG and showed and explained the data, her hope dwindled. His brain activity was decreasing, if not, nonexistent completely. No one was there.

The doctors didn't bother relaying any information to her anymore, though. She never seemed to be paying attention. Instead, whenever they walked into the room, they would find her staring at him, as if hoping he would finally wake up and make a funny joke. So instead, they would explain Tony's condition to Rhodey, who would in turn explain what he had been told to Pepper.

"Pepper," he tried to explain once. Pepper didn't look at him. Instead, she focused on Tony's forced breathing. The sound the respirator made each time it took a breath was like a soft disturbance in the wind.

"Pepper," he repeated anyway, but this time he continued. He sat down on the other side of Tony's bed, unable to meet her eyes. "They're saying….they want you to decide soon. They need an answer."

"Why?" she whispered without looking at Rhodey. She took Tony's hand and noticed the warmth wasn't there though the color was. _Was he really gone?_ "Why does it matter when I decide? What does that mean to them? They don't care."

"No," Rhodey agreed bitterly. They just didn't want any bad press concerning Tony's death. They didn't want to get their hands dirty. "They don't….but they're saying that if you don't decide soon, that if does end up waking up-"

"They said he could wake up?" Pepper asked, ears perking up. Finally, her hope had become a reality.

"No…that's not what they meant…If it turns out that he's not completely brain dead, but we still wind up waiting…then even if he does wake up…he would have lost all higher brain function by then."

If she waited too long, hanging on to hope – hope would bite her in the butt; and Tony would be all but a vegetable. That's what they were trying to tell her. Even hope was evil.

She nodded, understanding. "So either way, he's gone."

Rhodey said nothing, his silence signifying agreement.

"I told him I hated him," Pepper finally said, sadness filling her core. "I told him I hated him and left him alone last night."

Rhodey didn't know exactly what happened yesterday, but he knew she didn't need to be blaming herself for anything. "He knows you don't hate him," Rhodey told her. Pepper noticed that he had used the present tense and not past but said nothing she continued anyway.

"Last night…he'd been drinking, and now they said he had so much alcohol it caused alcohol poisoning…I should have been there with him, but I was angry so I left-"

"It's not your fault, Pepper."

"Yes it is," Pepper said, crying freely once more. "It's my fault. I killed him. I should have been there but I left him-"

"Pepper, stop," Rhodey told her. "Stop…it's not your fault. No matter _what_ you said last night, he knows you don't hate him. Nothing's your fault."

She didn't say anything else, silently drowning in her own misery and guilt. Immersing herself in the knowledge and belief that she had played a role in Tony's death.

There was some sort of argument going on just outside but Pepper wasn't paying too much attention. After a while, the transparent doors slid open.

"I'm sorry," a nurse tried to explain. "She wanted to come in but I said that-?"

"Ginny?"

Pepper finally turned around, recognizing the voice and saw her mother and sister at the door, waiting for her. Pepper stood up but her sister reached her first, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Ginny, are you okay?" Liz asked, finding it impossible to glance at Tony's body.

"I'm fine," Pepper told her, her voice hoarse – hours of crying were the cause of that. "What are you doing here?"

"Maybe we should talk outside," Vanessa said, nodding at Rhodey.

"Oh," Liz mumbled, not really paying attention. Any other day she probably would have said hello, introduced herself…but her energy had been drained almost overnight. "Hi," she attempted, but Rhodey only nodded in response.

"What exactly is going on here?" Vanessa asked once they were out of the room. They stood just on the other side of the glass wall, still able to see Tony.

"What do you mean?" Pepper asked, surprised they didn't already know. She thought the press would have been all over the story.

"It's chaos," Liz explained. "No one really knows what happened to him and no one has information. _The New York Times_ says he's in a permanent vegetative state but _The Chronicle_ says he's in a coma but other reporters are saying that he's just unconscious. That he's going to be fine."

"We called Stark Industries," Vanessa interrupted. "But they don't know either. They said they'd been calling your phone but you hadn't picked up so they weren't sure if you were somehow involved or in a related accident-"

Pepper finally did realize that her phone had been ringing – multiple times even. But that she hadn't bothered to pick it up. All calls had been ignored – there was no way for anyone to know the truth.

"The doctors didn't release anything?"

"They can't – confidentiality. Ginny, _no one_ knows what's going on."

"Is he…?" Liz asked, looking at the unconscious man in the ICU room. She frowned a little, finding it impossible to believe that he could be so…_lifeless_. She had never met the man in person but from what Pepper said and what the news feed spat out, Tony was everything except lifeless.

"Is it a coma?" Vanessa prompted.

Pepper shook her head, closing her eyes. "No, he's…"

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's dead," Pepper said quickly.

"No, he can't be, he's breathing and he's-" Liz tried to defend.

"He was declared brain dead a few hours ago – he's gone."

All three of them were silent, her words sinking in.

"Oh my God…"

"How…?" Liz was hesitant to say anything else.

She had told herself she wouldn't cry again. She had shed enough tears. But the question once again brought to light the reasons behind his passing, and there was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable tears. "Last night, he flew off in the suit for a mission. He crash landed."

"Why would he-?"

"Because he was drunk," Pepper wept. "Because he'd been at a party and drank out of his mind. I should have been there with him…it's my fault."

"No, it isn't, it isn't your fault," Liz tried to reassure her.

"Stop lying to me, it is and you know it!"

"After what he had done to you last night you had every reason to leave…I would have killed you myself if you had stayed."

"But what if it was the alcohol?" Pepper rationalized. "What if the alcohol caused it? And his judgment was…" she trailed off for a moment. "Maybe it wasn't even his fault and I left him, knowing how drunk he was…He had told me just before that he was going to get some air because he didn't feel well, maybe it wasn't his fault…"

"Ginny," Liz interrupted. "You were with him for most of that night, right?"

Pepper nodded once.

"Then you would have known if he really had that much to drink."

"That's what I thought too," Pepper said, massaging her temple. "But they ran a tox screen and they said the amount of alcohol in his system was enough to cause alcohol poisoning."

"Maybe it was drugs," Vanessa said. It had been the first time she had spoken since Pepper had told them the news.

Pepper shook her head. "No, no, they didn't find any in his system and I know him, he's never-he would never-"

"You didn't seem to know him very well considering all I've heard."

"Mom," Liz warned. _Why was she saying those things now_?

But Pepper was unable to deflect now, only absorb. And her words pierced her heart even more. "She's right, I don't know anything anymore…" Pepper continued to sob, hating herself. "I thought I had watched him last night but he drank himself to oblivion, and I told him I hated him and now he's lying here…he's gone and he thinks I hate him but I don't…I could never hate him and I can't tell him anything because it's too late…and I burned his letter and now it's the only thing I want…" The letter would have been the one thing she held on to now; his own thoughts in his own handwriting – proof that there had been something good and worth it in the last few months. That not everything was a lie or so confusing. But now she had nothing.

Liz and Vanessa weren't sure what letter she was talking about but Liz did everything in her power to console her, yet knew that it would all be in vain. This sadness…Pepper was going to have to endure it alone, because there was nothing Liz or anyone else could do it vanquish it.

* * *

_**10:30 PM**_

For the last three hours, Vanessa, Liz and Pepper had remained in Tony's room, trying to keep Pepper company. Rhodey had been literally _ordered_ to leave a few hours ago so the three of them remained in Tony's room alone, quietly waiting. But for what, none of them were sure.

"Ginny," Vanessa asked gently. "What are you waiting for?"

_For him to wake up. For his eyes to open and for him to look at me so that we can talk about what happened last night – understand it. I'm waiting for hope to make an appearance. _"I don't know," she lied.

"You know he's gone…but you're still keeping him here."

"He's not," Pepper maintained.

"Ginny-"

"You just want me to let him go because you don't like him," Pepper accused. It was harsh and uncalled for, and she was really just grabbing at air now. There really was no reason to keep him here.

"I want you to let him go because there's no reason to keep him here."

Pepper shook her head violently. "No, they said that all data was inconclusive…"

"Fine – let's say that's true…if it is and he does wake up, then what are his chances that he'll be the same? The doctors said he could lose higher brain function…"

"They said if I waited too long-"

"Be reasonable. They think he's brain dead – how much brain function is salvageable now?"

She had a point – despite how frank she was being she was also telling the truth. If Tony woke up right now he wouldn't be the same. Maybe he'd be a vegetable or simply paralyzed. Maybe he wouldn't even be able to feed himself, lose his ability to talk. His once active mind, his genius IQ could shrivel to nothing. His brain was already damaged and even if he woke up he'd be, in one way or another, handicapped. He wouldn't want that.

So what gave her the right to say otherwise?

She took his hand, watching him – his unruly hair, neatly trimmed goatee, glowing arc reactor… Her face crumpled. "He's gone," she whispered to herself, but this time she had said it without the question mark at the end. Her doubt was gone, her hope no longer present. Instead, acceptance took its place, and it was much more painful than any other emotion she had felt that day.

She held his one hand with both of hers and held it up to her forehead, sobbing.

_Tony? Tony, are you listening to me? Can you hear me? I love you, Tony. I didn't mean anything I said last night. I love you and I always will. And I'm sorry._

_

* * *

_

_Pepper? Pepper, are you listening to me? Can you hear me? I love you, Pepper. I don't know what they're telling you, I don't know what's wrong with me. Please don't let me go, please wait for me. I love you and I always will. And I'm sorry._

**And that's a wrap for now. Leave me a present and review please. They make me smile and feel appreciated…not to mention type really fast, did I ever mention that? ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm all moved in! And here's my present to YOU! I know – I didn't update when I promised and for that I'm sorry, but come on – you can't really hate me! I'm just lovely!**

**Chapter 9**

It had been two days since Tony Stark had been admitted to the hospital.

It was midnight, but Dr. Cowley had been called back to the hospital – one of his priority patients had a stroke though he had been discharged – and now he needed to figure out why. As soon as he was finished there, he decided to check on his latest patient's vitals before heading out – Tony Stark.

It was a doctor's dream – and worst nightmare, to have a celebrity as a patient (though the word 'celebrity' didn't seem to have the connation he was looking for). It looked great on a resume to have treated a celebrity, but if something went wrong, then the lawsuits and liabilities would pile up against him like no other – and his record wouldn't look nearly as impressive. And Dr. Cowley wasn't exactly pleased that he had been giving a patient already on the brink of death. He didn't mean to be heartless, but the last thing he wanted was Stark Industries to march in front of his office, blame him for their CEO's death and sue him into oblivion.

When he arrived at Tony's room, he noticed the room completely empty and the first thing he did was check his watch. He rolled his eyes, nodding to himself as he made his way over to the sleep lab. It had been four hours since his last EEG had been performed – it was time for another.

A female doctor was taking care of the procedure for him, sitting in an observation room in the back. Dr. Cowley let himself inside.

"How's it coming along?" he asked, as he drank out of his coffee. But the doctor filling in for him said nothing. He just stared at the printed results, as if attempting to read Latin.

"You got to take a look at this," she said, still holding the printouts. Dr. Cowley stood behind her, already worried. How could thinks get _worse_?

But instead, his eyebrows furrowed, unable to believe what he was witnessing. "That can't be right, that's impossible…"

"I ran it twice – this is real."

Dr. Cowley grabbed the papers, examining them closely, then looked at Tony Stark, unconscious in the sleep lab.

"My God..."

"Brain function doesn't just appear, Cowley. Either something miraculous happened, or we missed something. Something big."

"Something we could've seen on an MRI or CT? A tumor…"

"Wouldn't do this," she interrupted. "In fact, I don't know how this can happen."

Dr. Cowley thought to himself, glad things were looking up, but having no idea how. "We'll observe him for a few more hours. Then we'll see where things take us from there and-"

The monitors went haywire and the two doctors jumped, fearing the worst. "Oh, shit," Dr. Cowley muttered before dashing out of the room and rushing to Tony's side. The other doctor followed him out, checking his vitals and monitors but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"What the hell…?" Dr. Cowley mumbled.

"O2 sats are normal, pulse is consistent…" The other doctor rattled off all the normal aspects the monitors showed – a mental checklist.

Dr. Cowley stopped her, causing her to look at the man on the tables and not the machines. She gasped, breath getting caught in her throat – Tony Stark's eyes were opening. He was waking up.

_Just like that?_ Dr. Cowley wondered to himself, but he didn't have time for that. He quickly checked pupil responsiveness with his flashlight. "Mr. Stark, can you hear me?"

No response. Just a blank, dead stare.

"Pupils are responsive," she noted. "Mr. Stark, if you can hear me I need you to blink for me, okay? Can you do that?"

Nothing.

"Mr. Stark?" Dr. Cowley tried, unable to understand what was going on. "Mr. Stark, can you hear me? If you can hear me, I need you to blink."

The stare remained, eyes focused on nothing. And in a moment, his eyes rolled towards the back of his head and his eyes closed. Just like that, he was gone.

"Mr. Stark?"

No movement.

They had to figure this out. This could either be really good, or _really_ bad – and he had to figure out which one it was quickly. "Run the EEG again."

* * *

It was two in the morning and Pepper couldn't sleep. All she could think about was Tony…and a life without him. Little things turned into monuments to overcome. Things she never would have thought about or even worried about before now threatened her sanity. Everything in his house would either be sold or donated. He had once talked about the technology behind JARVIS being transferred to Stark Industries headquarters – would that now become a reality? How would she be able to even function properly while his house was emptied? A house she felt she had lived in for years…now it would be dragged out from under all of a sudden. How would she handle that?

She'd leave Stark Industries – there was no way she could continue to work there; it would just be too painful. She'd have to look for work elsewhere…

It was after she thought about all these things, the tears threatened to take over again but she managed to keep them locked away. She had already willingly accepted his death – the act of planning for the future was an act of acceptance. She wasn't ready to let him go, but he had left her anywhere.

She was in the kitchen, preparing a cup of coffee for herself in the dark. The lights switched on suddenly, and Pepper, all nerves, jumped and turned around.

"You're still up," Liz said, walking up to her – a statement, not a question.

"I couldn't sleep," Pepper answered, turning around again.

"You shouldn't be taking coffee now, you need to get some rest."

"I don't care," she muttered bitterly.

Liz didn't say anything – just watched her sister.

"You know what happened isn't your fault, right?"

"Yes it is."

"Ginny, it's _not-_"

But before Liz could continue, the landline started ringing, jolting both of them. Pepper would have jumped to answer it herself but dread, fear and hope flooded her in an instant just as the first ring ended. It was the hospital – she knew it was. They were the only people who would bother calling at two o'clock in the morning, and Pepper didn't know what to expect. She was completely frozen and Liz was forced to answer it herself.

"Hello?" She sounded just as anxious as her sister.

"May I speak to Ms. Virginia Potts?" Liz recognized the voice as Tony's attending doctor and immediately put the phone on speaker, waving at Pepper to say something.

"Yes?" Pepper managed to let out while holding her breath.

"Ms. Potts, it's Dr. Cowley. We suggest you come down here as soon as possible."

* * *

Methodical beeping – that was what he sensed and understood first. Before he could perceive the impenetrable darkness, before he realized where he was and well before he realized just how screwed over he was.

He groaned, as his ears picked up information about his surroundings. Papers had just fallen somewhere, he could tell. He finally opened his eyes and at first, everything was obnoxiously bright thanks to the florescent lights and his vision was hopelessly blurry. Slowly, everything around him sharpened and he noticed the group of people talking beside him. He didn't recognize any of them.

Then he noticed the lab coats.

Doctors – or crazy scientists. His brain seemed to think the latter was more likely for some reason and fear took hold. _They're going to operate on me while I'm alive…they're going to watch me scream and smile and cut me open and…_

_Actually, that isn't very realistic, now is it?_ His fear diminished just as quickly as it had come and he focused his attention on trying to figure out where he was. There was a giant tube beside him and it looked like it connected some stand next to him and his…

He panicked again. Something was in his mouth and was going down his throat – a tube. It was uncomfortable now that he realized it was there but when he tried to reach it, he found his limbs useless. He tried moving his fingers, his toes, something…but he was completely paralyzed.

"Hey…" Tony moaned groggily, trying to get someone's attention. But the doctors continued to talk above him, not even bothering to spare him a glance. "Hey..."

The doctors continued to talk over him and Tony moaned louder. "Hey, are you listening…? Where am I…?"

He was still ignored and Tony's frustration mounted. He wasn't angry, just confused and exhausted. "Where am I? Are you listening?"

"He's still completely unresponsive-" One of the doctors argued, completely ignoring him.

"The fact that he's opening his eyes means that he's _not_ brain dead. What on earth made you think he was brain dead?"

"We already knew all data would be inconclusive since we couldn't perform an MRI or CT scan…all we had was an EEG."

"Which still should have been able to pick up brain function!"

"Hey!" Tony tried yelling. "What's going on-"

"Well, he's not in a coma," another doctor added, a female doctor.

"Doesn't mean he's responsive – we've tested this for hours now-"

Tony finally realized something. "Are you talking about me? Hey! Are you…are you talking…I'm right here!" He was growing exhausted and he felt like he was about to pass out. He tried to calm himself down, closing his eyes, focusing on his breathing. But he realized that he wasn't controlling his breathing. It seemed like someone else was doing the job for him and shoving the oxygen down his throat.

_I'm on a machine…a machine that's breathing for me…_

If he was on a ventilator then there was no way he could be talking.

"_Hello_?" Tony tried again.

The voice was in his head. He was thinking to himself but saying nothing.

"Face it – there's nothing left. Tony Stark might as well be dead."

_I can't move, I can't talk…they don't know I'm in here._

One of the doctors was about to leave, already walking out of the door. But before she did, she looked at Tony longingly.

_Hey! Hey!_

"He would have been great for transplant. And my patient _really_ needs a liver."

_Are you kidding me? Listen to me! Oh, God…no one knows I'm in here…they all think I'm dead. Or in a coma. Or something._

Something was happening outside the room and Tony shifted his eyes towards the glass doors. He was sure his heart stopped and immediately he wanted to call out. Pepper was standing outside, talking to one of the doctors. Her eyes were red, and she was nodding sadly – bad news. She was receiving bad news.

_Pepper, no – whatever they're telling you, it's wrong. I'm here! I'm right here!_

Pepper was standing with two other people – one looked about Pepper's age with equally copper hair, and the other was an older woman. Tony wanted to speak to Pepper, to say something but was scared, actually _fearful_. Not because he couldn't speak at all, but because he wasn't sure what he would say if he had the ability. She had said she hated him, that she didn't love him. He remembered clearly the event that had instigated their last argument…which was…

When was it? When was the last time he had seen her? It felt like an hour ago and a year ago all at the same time. His sense of time was off, he didn't know what day it was, if it was morning or night. He felt lost.

_Someone, listen to me, please…I need help…_

The glass doors slid open and the doctor, Pepper, as well as the two other guests walked into the room. The guests stayed in a corner, as if worried Tony would jump up and eat them. But Pepper continued to walk up to him, standing by his side. His eyes followed her, like a lost puppy following an owner. She was the one thing that brought about a sense of normalcy and familiarity. And even though she may hate him, he was grateful for her presence; that she even bothered to be here.

"His eyes are following me, I thought he said he wasn't responding," she argued to one of the doctors.

_They're idiots! They're wrong! I'm right here!_

"It's just a reflex, it's completely meaningless."

_No, it's not, I'm right here._

"And he can't hear me?" Pepper took Tony's hand and lightly touched his cheek, breathing lightly. He was sure he would melt on the spot, just because of her touch. He had been sure he had lost that forever, that he had blown it, that he had lost _her_. But here she was…maybe, just maybe, she didn't hate him. He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the feeling. _Pepper, don't believe them. I'm here, please._

Pepper's hand withdrew from his cheek suddenly, though her fingertips remained on his skin. He opened his eyes, fearing that he was leaving her again but instead he saw something new in Pepper's eyes. Realization? Doubt?

The doctors left as well as the two other guests who had come with Pepper. The two of them were finally alone, and he couldn't tell her anything. It was like a living nightmare – trapped in a body with no way out.

"Tony?" Pepper whispered, waiting for him to answer. _Yes._ But the tube going down his throat made talking impossible and he found himself completely unable to move. Communication was impossible. She lightly wove her hand through his unruly hair – he could _feel_ it. Even if he couldn't do anything about it or move, he could feel her. It was real. She bent her head down so she was right next to his ear and she spoke softly, barely a whisper. "Tony…I don't know if you can hear me. And I don't know if you're in there…but these last few days have been worse than hell-" She stopped, taking in a shaky breath.

_I've been out for two days?_

"I'm sorry, Tony…what I said, about me hating you – I didn't mean it. I could never mean it. I was confused and I was angry, and now you're stuck here and I hate myself-"

_It's not your fault, it's…I don't even know why I'm here…Shit, I don't even know what happened. Why am I here?_

"I know you're in there, Tony," she said. She lifted her head to look into his eyes. In her eyes, he saw a reflection of himself and he finally understood Pepper's fear. He looked dead, his eyes staring off into the distance as if frozen – paralyzed.

_But I'm not paralyzed. I can feel everything, I just can't move. What does that mean? How do I tell you?_

"Oh, God, Tony…" She caressed his cheek but she was no longer talking to himself; just hoping internally to herself. "Tony, tell me you're in there…I need to know if you're in there…"

_How do I tell you? I can't do anything…_ The sorrow he had caused in just a few days pained him, and he closed his eyes, trying to forget it. But the reality was too great and he found it impossible to escape – even mentally.

"Tony?"

He opened his eyes and saw the rising hope in her eyes. "Tony, are you…" What had happened? What had he just done to get her attention…?

He closed his eyes again and quickly opened them, looking back at her. _Please understand…_

Pepper felt like her heart had just exploded. "Tony…" She muttered quick prayer before saying, "Blink if you can hear me."

He did.

"Dr. Cowley!" She screamed and immediately, the room was full once again. His attending doctor walked in and the two guests Tony immediately guessed were Peppers mother and sister.

_So much for first impressions. Just lovely._

Tony relaxed a little – but only a little. At least now they knew he wasn't dead, or just a vegetable – even if he looked like one. There was someone inside this useless body – _he_ was inside.

He didn't pay much attention as Pepper tried to explain what had just happened, but his head seemed to perk up when he heard Dr. Cowley say disbelievingly, "That's impossible – we've been observing him for the last few hours, he hasn't responded, not even once."

_Yeah, you also thought I was dead._

"Tony, can you blink for me?" Pepper said instead, completely ignoring her doctor.

_You go, Pepper_, Tony thought to himself – and he blinked.

"See?"

Tony could completely understand her frustration – he really didn't like the man either.

Dr. Cowley said nothing for a moment, again shocked - Tony would have rolled his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Pepper, laugh slightly, smiling. She was actually _smiling_. Then he realized he was laughing at _him_. Tony actually _had_ rolled his eyes at Dr. Cowley. But the thought only made him sad. He wished he could smile as well, let her know that he had noticed. And that he thought it was funny too.

Dr. Cowley immediately flashed an annoyingly bright flashlight in his eyes and Tony attempted a scowl. But he quickly discovered his facial muscles were paralyzed as well. The only things he _could_ move were his eyes.

Next came a sharp prick in his feet and Tony wanted to kick him. _Ow!_

"No response-"

_You idiot, just because I'm not responding doesn't mean I can't _feel_ it!_

"Mr. Stark, I need you to blink for me once if you felt it."

_Yes, I felt it_.

"It's a form of paralysis," Dr. Cowley said simply, checking Tony's chart.

_What?_

"But he's only lost muscle movement – which means his nerves and spinal cord are both intact."

"So what's causing the paralysis?"

"Most likely a lesion on the brain stem – some sort of tumor, maybe-"

"So can't you remove it?"

"We can't even _see_ it since we can't run an MRI or CT."

"But there's got to be another way for you to find it…another test…" Pepper's heart was racing. Tony had almost died on this same bed. There had to be something they could do, they had to find a way to fix it.

"There…are ways we can get an estimated location. But fixing the problem is still impossible…it's his brain stem – a biopsy or surgery is going to come with too many risks. The brain stem controls nearly all involuntary activities and the slightest mistake could prove fatal."

_You're just trying to save your own ass. Operate and fix the goddamn problem._

"You're just trying to save your own ass!" But the exclamation hadn't come from Pepper, but from the copper haired woman in the back – her sister. "You're trying to save your own ass by denying treatment – isn't that illegal?"

_You tell him_.

"I'm making sure you give me informed consent," Dr. Cowley corrected. "I'm telling you right now, that Mr. Stark has a high chance of dying on that operating table if we even try to touch it."

_So what are you saying? You're saying I'm stuck like this? I can't be stuck like this…_

"I'm sorry," Dr. Cowley said simply. "But in his best interest, it would be better if he made the best of his condition."

_Condition! I'm a goddamn vegetable! No, you've got to do something about this, I can't be like this forever—_

"He seems to slowly be getting better on his own so in time he'll be off the ventilator-"

_How am I supposed to explain what happened that night to Pepper? She still probably thinks I was cheating, and I wasn't. I didn't want to. How am I supposed to let her know that? _

"And when time permits, there are therapies to make the transition smoother-"

_I can't even hold her hand. I can't let her know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. I can't talk to her…I can't laugh at something she says, or smile when I see her._

"It's possible he might regain some speech-"

_I can't tell her I love her if I'm stuck like this…and she's going to be stuck with me. I don't want her to be forced to stay with me. She deserves better, she shouldn't spend her time taking care of me. She has a life. This isn't her job._

"I'm sorry, Ms. Potts-"

_She needs to leave me, take me to a home or something—_

"But that's really the best we can do-"

_Why did I bother waking up if this is what I wake up to? If I'm just as useless before I opened my eyes? What's the point? Why didn't I just die?_

He didn't even notice Dr. Cowley leave the room. Everyone else followed except for Pepper, who stayed by his side. And just by looking at her, he could tell her mind was working overtime – making estimates in her head, trying to figure out what would change, how to deal with this news.

_No, Pepper, don't do that. Don't try and stay with me. Don't waste your life._

She was trying to put on a brave face for him so that he wasn't worried, but he could see the sadness pooling in her eyes. It was impossible for her to hide her emotions, the inner turmoil – and the utter disappointment and misery. She bent down and lightly kissed his forehead. "We're going to figure this out Tony…we're going to figure this out, okay?"

_No, we're not, Pepper. We're not_. But he couldn't say that. So instead, he just looked at her, hoping she would understand or see what he was trying to tell her.

They took Tony to run more official tests and once they had, Pepper broke down and burst into tears, silently mourning.

**These last few chapters have been ****depression, depression, depression**** and quite frankly, even I'm getting depressed. **

**Read and review – likes and dislikes are welcome. I'm not going to eat you if you give me constructive criticism (I've had a few people give me constructive criticism and then freak that I'd kill them and throw their remains in a pot of stew or something. Sheesh, guys, do I really seem that evil? lol) =P love you anyway. REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey! I feel soooooo behind! I've been so "busy" and BUSY! Yes – those are two different excuses. I haven't been able to reply to any reviews like I try to do usually and I'm sorry about that but hopefully, I'll try and keep up. Here we go!**

**Chapter 10**

"You will _not_ believe who's down here-"

"Tony Stark is about a block away from where you are now, I know. But please keep in mind I sent you down there to pick up your papers, get your license back in order and get your ass back here all in three days. I don't have you covered for any more and if you miss your flight, all expenses are coming out of _your_ pocket."

"Oh, come on! It's Tony Stark! And he's barely a mile away from the agency! It's practically fate calling out to me…"

"If I hear a story about how some crazy doctor barged into his room and nearly killed him-"

"I never kill my patients – that's just rude. _I'm_ rude. But since when was that a crime?"

"It's not your hospital, he's not your patient. You have no right to-"

"Like that ever stopped me."

"If I hear one thing, get one complaint from anyone - I swear to God I'm going to give you clinic duty for the next five years!"

Clinic duty – this was serious. "Relax. I'm only going to take a peek-"

"Like hell, you will!"

"He won't mind. He's paralyzed, isn't he?"

"Why are you even interested, in this guy? There's no medical mystery here. He's screwed. Have you checked any of the papers recently? Read it and weep."

"Because his doctor is an idiot."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry – that excuse totally went over my head, how could I forget?"

"Come on, you're a doctor. How the hell do you say someone's brain dead and a few days later they wake up? I think I'm entitled to say his doctor is a _moron_."

"So you want to right the wrongs-"

"And in essence, make the other guy look like an idiot, yes, that's exactly what I want to do. You should know me by now."

"It's not your hospital, it's not your call, he's not your patient and it's not your say. You're going to back off and watch everything unfold on the news reels like everyone else. Embrace normalcy. It should be a nice change for you."

"_That_ was just uncalled for."

"Really? I thought you'd consider it a compliment."

"Whatever – I'll call you back from the Santa Monica hospital."

"No you will _not_. In fact – I'm going to move your flight up a day."

"But that's not fair! You're only doing that to keep me from saving an important man's life."

"Your goal was never to save a life – you're just looking for a puzzle."

"You're right. Saving lives is just collateral damage."

"Your flight is tomorrow at three. Let's see how much damage you're capable of now."

"Is that a challenge, Dr. Cuddy?"

"Just get your ass in here in one piece. And no funny business!"

* * *

Pepper had gone down to the cafeteria to get something to eat before rushing back up again. She tried not to think about what she had heard, Tony locked in a useless body, but it was virtually inevitable. And she found herself faced with question she hated herself for even bringing up.

_Should I have let him go when I had the chance? _

If she had agreed they pull the plug even if he was in there, neither of them would be facing this new nightmare. She knew Tony – his genius was in the hands-on work of his workshop. He was an inventor by nature and by heart. Running a company and becoming CEO? He had only taken the job because there was no other option; there were too many formalities and strings attached. No, he was a creator and an architect. And now, though he retained his genius IQ, he now had no medium. So what was the point in being who he was? He was now left a prisoner of his own body.

And then afterwards, she would despise herself for thinking this way. She shouldn't be thinking like that, contemplating the way things might have been had he died. All she had wanted was for him to be alive, and now he was…and she thought it was better had he died.

Now she was being selfish.

And over and over the cycle continued in her mind; a war within her soul, and a guilt she could not appease.

She didn't want to stay in the cafeteria to eat. Reporters had nearly run over the hospital boundaries and the last thing she wanted to do was attract someone's attention. So instead, she grabbed a sandwich and made her way back towards the ICU. But before she could enter Tony's room, she found her mother waiting for her near the lobby.

"I thought you went home," Pepper said, her voice hoarse.

"I did, but I came back because I need to talk to you."

The way she said, "I need to talk to you" already got on Pepper's pissed off side. She didn't need to hear this; she didn't _want _to hear this.

"Mom, not now, please?" She said, about to go around her.

"Ginny, just give me a minute-"

"I have to go," Pepper tried to explain, mostly to get rid of her.

"Go where?"

"I have to go to Tony-"

"I mean _to what_?" She asked. "What's your plan now? You heard what the doctor said."

"Mom, stop-" Pepper knew where this was going – and she didn't want to hear it. She _never_ wanted to hear it.

"Honey, this isn't because I don't like him, or I'm angry," she tried to explain and Pepper for the first time could sense sincerity. "I'm saying this because I'm worried. For _you_. Because I want _you_ to be happy and do the right thing."

Pepper was silent for a moment before saying, "Which is what, Mom? What do you think is the right thing?"

Vanessa sighed. "It's not…your job to be watching him like this. You're not his guardian."

"He's sick."

"No, he's _paralyzed_," her mother clarified. "And he's going to be paralyzed _forever_."

"You don't know that-" She tried to defend. _Yes, I do. I know he's stuck like this forever. And I know it's my fault._

Vanessa sensed the hesitation and just about pounced. "Ginny, you…what do you plan on doing now?" She asked carefully. "You…you want to take care of him?"

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"That you need to accept what's happened…and move on."

"No, Mom, I'm not-"

"Ginny, what happened isn't your fault and I don't want to see you…tied down-"

"You're saying I should _leave_ him? And do what? What does that say about me? I didn't feel like taking care of him, so I decided to just drop him in a facility, is that right?" She was angry, and frustrated, and quite frankly, she couldn't believe her mother was even suggesting it. Actually, yes…yes, she could. But not because she wanted to get back at Tony or because she hated the man. This time, she had a legitimate reason – but it still angered Pepper that it could even be suggested. _This is my fault, I love him, and I'm going to stay with him. _"If it was me on that bed, he wouldn't even _think_ about leaving."

"Honey-" Vanessa tried to reach for her daugher but Pepper quickly backed away, resting her face in her hand.

"Can you just…give me a minute, okay? Alone?"

"But, Ginny, I-"

"Can you leave?" Pepper asked more honestly, a pleading look in her eye. _I can't deal with this…and you…not now._

For a moment, Vanessa considered protesting. But after a said sigh, she said, "Let me at least stay. I'm worried-"

"I'm fine-"

"I won't say anything."

Pepper really wasn't in the mood to argue. Not anymore, anyway. She just nodded to herself, agreeing half heartedly as the two of them walked into Tony's room.

* * *

The next man who walked into Tony's room, no one recognized. He was tall, well over six feet, with unruly gray-brown hair. His shirt was hopelessly rumpled and he wore a loose fitting sports jacket over it. But what made him even more identifiable was the cane he carried, complete with flames at the end of it.

"Who are-" Vanessa started.

"Where's his doctor?" the intruder asked, completely cutting off Vanessa. He turned around, as if to make sure he wasn't being followed.

"Excuse me!"

"Listen, I'm kind of in a hurry so if you could just answer the question, we'd _both_ be happy and I can get on my way. "

_Who is this guy?_ Tony thought to himself, watching him carefully.

"He's not here," Pepper answered.

"Oh, good," he said, relaxing a little. "Then this shouldn't take very long. And why exactly can't they perform a CT or MRI again?"

"Are you a doctor?"

_Good question. Now answer it._

"Nope. Patient," he lifted up his cane as if that was proof but something else caught his attention. He used his cane to lift up Tony's blanket and for the first time saw the glowing arc reactor. His eyes twinkled curiously. "Very cool," he muttered to himself as he reached over to lift Tony's gown to get a better view.

_Hey, what's he doing…?_

Pepper panicked and quickly attacked, slapping his hand out of the way.

_You go, Pepper._

The intruder quickly withdrew his hand; he hadn't expected that. He smiled a little – a devious and scheming grin and his smile reminded her of Tony's smirk when he was about to do something he knew she wouldn't like. And it saddened her once more to know that she would never see that smile on Tony's face. That she was no only left with the memory.

But the man who had just entered didn't know what was going on in her head. He rolled his eyes and said, "If I say I'm a doctor – do I get to touch it?"

_No, you may not…even if you are slightly amusing._

"No!" Vanessa screeched.

"_Are _you a doctor?" Pepper asked instead. He seemed insane, but he also had that look in his eyes that said, "I know something you don't know."

"Coccidioidomycosis," he blurted suddenly. "Convincing enough?"

_No, not really._

"No," Pepper answered honestly.

The man scowled. "Tough crowd."

"Who is this?"

Dr. Cowley startled everyone in the room, especially the stranger who had just walked in. The unruly looking man turned to face Pepper, exclaiming, "I thought you said he wasn't here!"

_Wait, don't get rid of him yet, don't make him leave._

Pepper didn't say anything. She was sick of answering his questions – it was about time he started answering _theirs_. Who was he? Was he really a doctor? Or a reporter looking for answers? And if she wasn't sure, why was she still looking at him expectantly, as if hoping he would pull of a miracle?

"He just barged in here and-" Vanessa was already about to rattle a list of annoyances and Pepper, breathed in and out of her nose slowly to keep herself sane. Why did her mother even care what he was doing in here? She was the one who wanted to get rid of Tony, forever if possible.

"I _so_ did not barge in here," the man argued childishly.

"And he's rude-"

"See, _that_ I'm not going to disagree with-"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the room, please," Dr. Cowley spoke up.

_No, wait, don't make him leave yet. Why does he look like he knows something that the rest of us are clueless about? He's so confident that he knows something…_

"I'm a doctor," the man said. "And I have-" he checked his watch. "About twenty three hours to prove you're an idiot. Otherwise I'm going to have to pay for my flight."

_He's a doctor?_

"I don't care if you're a doctor," Dr. Cowley said angrily. "This isn't your hospital and you're not licensed to practice here."

"If she agrees, that I can practice here," he said haughtily and Pepper's eyes widened. Why would he think she'd let him practice here?

"You haven't examined him."

"I will in a minute." The just announced doctor said, grabbing Tony's chart and looking through it quickly.

"This is ridiculous." Dr. Cowley stepped out the room for a moment and yelled, "Security!"

_NO!_

"No, wait!" Pepper spoke up and Dr. Cowley stared at her in disbelief. The other doctor just looked at her from over the chart, eyebrow raising slightly. There it was again – that same look she was so used to seeing on Tony's face. Maybe that was one of the reasons she trusted him – because he reminded her of Tony. The spontaneity, how he purposely ignored rules … she recognized it.

"Can you give us a minute?" Pepper said quietly, waiting for the room to empty completely.

_Oh, thank God…_

"That was a lot easier than I expected," the man said smugly once they were alone. But Pepper could tell he wasn't just smug, he was actually intrigued by her. "Usually I have to do something relatively impressive before I get someone to _agree_ with me….but you…you actually _trust_ me…Why?"

_Why are you psychoanalyzing her? You're just as nuts yourself. _

Why was he questioning her like this? And why did she find herself willing to answer his questions? Why was she willing to be honest with someone she had never met? "You…remind me of him."

Tony focused his gaze on the stranger. _I'm like _him_? Oh, shit, this isn't a good sign…_

The doctor frowned, examining her closely. He hadn't expected an honest answer. He sighed and sat down, tapping his cane on the ground a couple times before saying, "I have a theory that I can fix your boy toy."

"How?"

_Boy toy!_

He twisted his lip to the side before saying, "That's the only part I don't know yet."

_Seriously?_

"It's a pretty important part," Pepper said sarcastically, but her heart swelled. So there was a chance…recovery was possible…She tried to hide her excitement, she needed to look serious. She needed to know if this man really knew what he was doing or if it was just a sham.

"And it's my job to figure out that part, as well as what's missing."

"What do you mean; what else is missing?"

"His attending doctor is a moron. Brain death doesn't just disappear – so obviously, he wasn't brain dead to begin with. Which _means,_" the doctor stood up, taking a look at Tony's chart. "We're missing something. And Doctor Idiot is too lazy or doesn't realize that figuring out what we're missing is part of the job description. That or he just couldn't figure it out because, as I've already said, he's an idiot."

_I kind of like this guy, I vote we keep him._

"But _you_ think you can figure this out."

The doctor smirked. "I _know_ I can."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I practice medicine in a very…specialized field. My job is to figure out what everyone else can't. So we've got two options – I take it you're his legal. No family, no long lost cousins hiding in Alaska…? Keep in mind I don't actually work here and I don't want to deal with liabilites. Not that I do even if it is an issue, but this way looks better in court."

_What?_

"None," Pepper answered.

"So it's all up to you, then. I can treat him here – as long as Dr. Idiot doesn't mind. Or…I can leave, head home and face clinic duty back in Jersey." He grimaced at the last part of the sentence.

_Say yes. _

Pepper looked at Tony, her eyes pleading. "Is that what you want?" she asked him.

_Yes, yes, yes that's what I want._

The doctor nodded as soon as he saw Tony blink in agreement. "You better get out there and sign some papers." He pulled out his cell phone and added mischievously. "Excuse me – I have to gloat." And with that, he left the room.

Before everyone else could file into the room, she took Tony's hand. "Are you sure this is what you want, Tony?"

_Yes, yes, yes, Pepper. This is what I want. _

"Alright," she said, weaving her hand through his hair. "Alright….I want this too, okay? We're going to figure this out, I swear. You're going to be okay, Tony." She nodded, as if trying to reassure herself. He had to be okay. "You're going to be okay…"

Dr. Cowley barged into the room, red as a ripe tomato. "Ms. Potts, I highly suggest you to _not_ go through with this."

_Oh, shut up – you're the guy who said I'm stuck like this and he's the guy that's going to do something about it. Take a wild guess as to who I'm going to like better. Even if he is crazy._

"We've already decided," Pepper said with a sense of finality.

"We?" Dr. Cowley asked.

_I'm right here, you moron!_

"Tony and I," Pepper said. "We've decided that we want him to treat Tony. Now, what papers do you need signed?"

"I assure you Dr. House motives in itself are questionable at best-"

_So his name is Dr. House, huh? That's...kinda catchy…_

"I don't care about his motives," Pepper spat. "I want him to get better and I don't care why he's doing it. I'm Tony's legal and if you refuse to allow me to make this…Dr. House…his attending, I swear I will simply transfer him to New Jersey and then I will _ruin you_!"

_Amen!_

Dr. Cowley was powerless. He sighed, obviously aggravated beyond words, but marched out of the room. Pepper turned and gave Tony a reassuring smile before following Dr. Cowley out. _We'll fix this, Tony. We'll fix this._

_

* * *

_

While Pepper was getting the paper signed, House was on the phone with his favorite boss and dean of medicine at PPTH. He was already on his way back to Tony's ICU room when she picked up.

"I'm glad you're calling from your cell phone and not a hospital, House. Or a jail cell," Cuddy said. It sounded like she was busy working on something else.

"Yeah…" House said obnoxiously. "About that…"

"You're in jail! What did you do!" she demanded suddenly, already about to jump into screaming mode.

"Are you serious? I've only been in a jail cell _once.._actually, twice, I think.."

"What," Cuddy repeated carefully. "Happened?"

"I have a new patient."

"House…"

"Want to guess who it is?"

"House, I told you that he is _not_ your patient and it's not my hospital! You can't take up his case, you have other patients _here-_"

"Clinic patients don't count, Cuddy."

"If you screw something up, it's all coming out of the hospital's pocket – and it's going to be expensive…and I'll take all of it out of your paycheck and-"

"When was the last time I screwed up?"

"Forget the case and stop creating hell for -"

"Too late. I already took up his case. Papers have been signed without you. Apparently you're signature wasn't needed and for that, I'm grateful."

"You did _what_!"

"But that's not why I called," House said, beaming childishly. "You think you can move my flight up a couple days? And pay for my hotel?"

"NO! That was _not_ in the budget!"

"So close your eyes and stick your fingers in that money you set aside annually for my lawsuits. Actually, that's not a very smart move. Stick your fingers in _Wilson's_ money. He never uses it anyway. Besides, I'm still here for medical reasons. You're _expected_ to pay for it."

He could practically see her close her eyes and curse him. He was right, and he was gloating. "House, I want you to get in and get out and come home all in less than a week, do you understand? And when you get back, I am making your life _hell_."

"Right, because I haven't heard that one before," he said, hanging up just as he entered Tony's room. Immediately, he dialed another number, putting his phone on speaker. Then to Tony he raised an eyebrow. "Ready to meet the four idiots that are going to play a role in your saving your life?"

_This doesn't so good_.

"House? You're on speaker."

"We've got a patient."

"No, we don't."

House rolled his eyes and then muttered to Tony. "I've got three guys – good hair, dark and darker – this one's darker, and he gets really touchy about the whole Civil War deal so he's always disagreeing with me."

_What the hell does that mean?_

Then to the guy on the phone, House yelled, "Yes, Foreman, we do. Who's in charge here?"

"Are you back yet?"

"Will you guys shut up? I'm in the same room as Tony Stark and you guys aren't making a very good first impression."

There was silence on the other end. Then, "Iron Man?" A different voice.

House rolled his eyes and to Tony whispered, "Taub's kind of slow…" Then he yelled, "Yes, you idiot!"

_You seem to like that word. I think I'll adopt it…_

"Are you serious?"

A female voice and House smiled. "That's the hot one – she's also sexual confused – or lenient, either one…Thirteen, why are you always so suspicious?"

_Her name's Thirteen?_

"It's a habit."

"Thirty five year old male – diagnosed as brain dead and magically wakes up two days later."

"Oh my God, he's serious?"

"Still waiting for something relevant…" House said impatiently

"We're going to need a file, House."

"It should be waiting for you in the printer."

There was some shuffling of papers on the other end. Finally the one with the accent said, "This is impossible."

"Well obviously not," Thirteen answered. "Does _anyone_ know where he was the night before he was admitted?"

"Nope."

"Have you thought about, gee, I don't know…_asking_ him?" Taub asked.

"Are you reading the file?"

The team was quiet until Foreman said, "He's only able to communicate through blinking."

"So he's got locked in syndrome," Thirteen announced. "Either it was caused by being in a coma for too long or there's an underlying condition."

"And they thought he was brain dead?"

"What causes a false reading of brain death?" Chase asked.

"And why did no one bother with an MRI or CT?"

"The ultimate question," House said dramatically. "He's got device in him that makes that impossible."

"So take it out."

_No!_

"Uh…he's telling me no," House said, noticing Tony blink twice.

"We're going to need a better history-"

House rolled his eyes. "You're right, let's ask him. Oh, wait, I forgot… _he can't talk_. I'm sorry, haven't I already mentioned this?" He mumbled to Tony, "Honestly, what the hell am I paying these people for?"

"It says he had alcohol poisoning…"

_No! No, I don't have alcohol poisoning that's impossible!_

House said nothing, watching Tony. "You don't agree with alcohol poisoning?"

_No._

"What did he say?" Chase asked.

"I think our history is wrong…" House sang.

"They ran a tox screen and it says the amount of alcohol in his system was through the roof. Numbers don't lie."

_No, I can't have alcohol poisoning._

"Stark doesn't agree," House said.

_Thank you._

"House – I'm telling you right now, he had alcohol poisoning."

_No, I didn't!_

"He's very stubborn," House repeated.

"Reminds me of you," Thirteen said, annoyed. "Now can we move on?"

_I'm not really like this guy, am I? Why does everyone think I'm like this guy?_

House looked at Tony's file. "It says the night before he was at a party."

_Well…I don't like following instructions, but I mean, come on…who doesn't?_

"And there had to be alcohol at the party…"

But House ignored them. He nodded at Tony. "Is that true? Was there alcohol at the party?"

_Yes._

"Did you drink at the party?"

_Yes._

"Here's the fun part…how many drinks did you have? Did you have less than ten?"

_Yes._

"Less than five?"

_Yes._

"He's telling me he had less than five drinks," House said to the phone.

Foreman sighed. "It depends on what drink! Besides, he was also in a coma for the last three days. No offense, but I don't think his word is the one we're supposed to be trusting."

_Okay, I get that. But I did NOT drink myself to alcohol poisoning! I'd remember. It sucks – hangover to end all hangovers. Ask someone else – whatever that paper says is wrong._

"Was your girlfriend with you for at least part of the night?"

_Yes._

"Most of the night?"

_Yes._

"All of the night."

_Damn it. No. But I was only alone for an hour!_

"Girlfriend was with him – let's go find her." House limped towards the doors and peeked around the corner. "Hey! Your boytoy demands your presence."

_Why are you being so rude? You don't have to be rude to her._

In an instant, the two of them were back by Tony's side. "I need to know how many drinks he had last night."

"Um…three or four, maybe?" she said, not entirely sure what his point was.

"Are you sure?" House asked, completely sure.

"Yes, but then they told me he had alcohol poisoning-"

"So what causes alcohol poisoning?" House interrupted, asking his team.

"You mean besides alcohol?" Foreman asked sarcastically.

"Well, otherwise, it would be a relatively stupid question."

Everyone was quiet on the other end. Finally, Taub said, "Alcohol."

"Are you not listening, I _just_ said-"

"Yes, but that was before we jumped into alien medicine. House, the only thing that can cause alcohol poisoning is, pause for effect, alcohol!"

"Unless he was dosed," Thirteen suggested. "What if he didn't voluntarily take it?"

"You mean like an alcohol pill?" Chase asked.

"Or powder…it was invented by some Russian scientist. Pretty much, you can get drunk out of your mind without drinking at all. It's just condensed alcohol."

"How do _you_ know about it?" House asked, intrigued.

"Well, obviously because I've tried it. Multiple times."

"Isn't that illegal?" Chase asked.

"Not in Russia," she said simply. "And hopefully not in Thailand."

_I have the most psychotic doctors I've ever seen in my entire life._

Pepper had a wild look in her eye, as if she was already wondering asking House to treat Tony was such a good idea after all.

"If it's really just alcohol in a pill, then we can't trace it at all," Taub said. "And we won't be able to tell."

_Wait, so I was drugged_? _By who?_

"So…he was drugged?" Pepper asked.

"It would explain why no one seems to agree with the alcohol poisoning," House said, answering Peper and Taub.

"So what, who cares?" Foreman declared. "Alcohol is alcohol - it's either relevant to this case or not."

"The point was to prove our history is crappy," House said. "And alcohol is still unrelated – it can't cause false brain death."

"It can cause locked in syndrome."

"In which case he either gets better himself or stays the same, either way, we can't do anything about it," House said. "I need new ideas! New theories! And a white board…" He looked around, as if expecting one to appear out of nowhere.

"Damage to myelin sheath?"

"His sensory nerves are still intact, they should be affected as well."

"Aneurysm?"

"It could cause the false brain death but not the locked in syndrome."

"We need to do a biopsy."

_Wait, you want to cut into my head?_

"Hemorrhaging of the basilar artery?"

"That's locked in, not brain death."

"House," Chase said suddenly. "_Nothing_ explains all these symptoms. We're still missing something."

"Or we need to tear what we have apart, split it in two," House thought aloud while twirling his cane. He was leaning on one of the walls, thinking to himself – completely ignoring both Tony and Pepper. House's head tilted to the side as the thought and drew a vertical line in the air with his cane. "Who says we need a single diagnosis?"

"Medicine, House – it's part of the job description. You need to diagnose the patient."

"But why we do we need just one diagnosis? Why just one reason?"

"You think there are _two_ separate causes for his symptoms?" Foreman asked skeptically.

"Occam's Razor," House said. "Simplest explanation is the answer. Two separate diagnoses."

"That hit this close together? That's too coincidental."

"But it's still simpler," Thirteen disagreed. "So one reason for the brain death and another for locked in."

"Both of these issues are in the brain, it doesn't make sense for there to be two reasons if-"

"Did he hit his head that night?" Chase interrupted.

House looked at Pepper, waiting for an answer.

"What he really means is, where the hell was he for the rest of the night?" House clarified.

"Papers say he was found in New Mexico, is that right or is _The New York Times_ making shit up?" Thirteen asked.

"He crash landed in the suit," Pepper told them, agreeing.

"And he was drunk," House checked. Pepper nodded her head once, unable to meet his eyes.

"Sounds like something you would do," Chase said off handedly.

_Seriously?_

"Oh, ha ha ha, you're a comic genius. The _point_ is an aneurysm is likely."

"Or we still _can_ explain the symptoms with _one_ diagnosis," Taub spoke up. "Brain stem lesion – it would cause both."

"In which case a biopsy is still necessary," House decided with a tone of finality.

"On his _brain stem_? House, that's risky."

"So is flying in an titanium alloy suit while you're drunk. Apparently risky isn't an issue."

"Now, wait a minute-!" Pepper started angrily.

"Time to talk to the DA," House said quickly. He wasn't in the mood to listen to another woman screech and rave at him. First Cuddy, then Pepper's mother – no, he was done listening to yelling. Even he had his limits.

But Pepper wasn't done with him. She quickly grabbed his arm. House stopped, looking at her, again surprised. This woman seemed to be doing that a lot to him recently – and being surprised wasn't exactly House's forte.

"How dangerous is it?"

Oh, so no yelling, House realized. "It's his brain stem, it's risky not matter what or who we're treating-"

"His last doctor said a biopsy could kill him, that he had a chance of dying on the table-"

House didn't look even slightly impressed. "He'll die in a week if we don't find the lesion. He doesn't have much of a choice here."

She slowly withdrew her hand. "Alright…alright, he'll do it."

He didn't even wait for another moment. He was immediately out the door, about to harass the DA into doing what he wanted.

Pepper turned around to face Tony. His eyes were looking up at her and even if he couldn't move, she could see the worry…and the hope.

_I have to try it anyway, I need to try it…_

"Oh, God, Tony," Pepper said as she sat down beside him, looking at him. She held his hand. "Where the hell were you last night?" she whispered.

* * *

"_I don't love you," she told him. "That's the difference. I'll be here in the morning with my resignation, Mr. Stark."_

_She had walked out on him, and he was left alone, sitting on the floor with his back against the front door – hating himself. Hating himself for screwing up his chance, and for being unable to explain what had happened – because he didn't know what had happened._

_He remained where he was for over fifteen minutes until he received the call from General Fury. And even though he was drunk and dizzy, he left anyway, because he wanted to forget. Because he wanted to escape – even if it was only for a couple of hours._

_Coordinates indicated Santa Fe, New Mexico, and without paying much attention to what he was even doing, he donned the Iron Man suit and was off – all in under ten minutes. He just wanted to get the hell out of the house. There were too many memories there, too many things to face._

_He didn't remember landing. He remembered JARVIS telling him about his vitals being off, that his heart rate was slowing down, but by then it was too late. He blacked out before he hit the ground and was unconscious well before Rhodey found him._

**Some notes I need to make:**

**Yes - I have turned this into a crossover - but it's not going to stay like that. Only for a few..*cough* "2" *cough*...chapters or so. If you don't like it, sorry and if you do, PRAISE APPLE PIE! - I was inspired ;)**

**For any other avid House watchers that are reading, HOLLA! Do you, by any chance, recognize the episode I stole/borrowed some ideas from? Kudos to you, but I AM adding my own decent amount of craziness. That's all I can say for now. JUST KEEP READING!**

**And of course - don't forget to review! I know, really long wait and all but it's a long chapter! That makes up for things, right? ;) BYE!**


	11. Chapter 11

**OH-MA-GOSH I got over 30 reviews for the last chapter! Which is AWESOME! YOU GUYS ROCK MY SOCKS! It only seemed fair I update ASAP.**

**And as promised…**

**Chapter 11**

"What's that phrase that I always say?" House asked Cuddy over the phone. "You know, when you go all psycho bitch on me and then I do whatever I want anyway and it turns out I was _right_?"

"House, you actually have a legitimate patient _here_ now so I really would appreciate it if-"

"Don't care," House said offhandedly. "Hmm…where was I again? Oh right, so what's that phrase-"

"Your patient _here_ has skin lesions-"

"Would you stop being so rude? I'm trying to explain something here...oh, right…and you get all psycho bitch and when I do whatever I want anyway and I turn out to be correct? What do I usually say? Oh, I know!"

"Pause for effect," Cuddy said sarcastically.

"I told you so!"

"Let me get this straight…you're trying to tell me that you managed to cure a man who's been stuck in the hospital for the last week? And you cured him in less than ten hours?"

"I'm just _that_ good."

"Or…you're wrong! This is a ridiculous feat…even for you."

"My powers are limitless."

"What was your diagnosis?"

"Brain stem lesion."

"That caused the crash?"

"That and the fake brain death."

Cuddy was silent on the other end for a moment. "It makes sense."

"Admit it. I was right, and more importantly _you_ were wrong."

"Your patient with skin lesions-"

"I don't care about his skin lesions! For God's sake, I'm trying to gloat."

"You're flight is back on for three hours from now."

"But why!"

"Because of your _patient with skin lesions_," Cuddy enunciated carefully.

"But…but…that's not long enough! Can't we move it to tomorrow night?"

"Why do you need a few hours?"

"Because saving the man's life practically is my way of _demanding_ an autograph. And right now he's a useless lump, how am I supposed to get an autograph now?"

"Cut off his finger," Cuddy said, not really thinking about it. But when House said nothing for a few seconds, she quickly made amends. "I was just kidding, House."

"It's not going to look like that in the court room."

"House…" Cuddy warned.

"Goodbye," House said quickly, hanging up on her.

* * *

Pepper rested her head in the palm of her head, watching him. Tony was asleep and God knew he needed it. The ventilator was still connected to him, and the entire contraption frightened her. It didn't seem normal, _right_, for him to be connected to so many machines. He looked helpless, worn out, _dying_. She never wanted to relate any of those words to him. They didn't even belong in the same sentence – yet here he was – helpless, worn out and dying.

It was nearly eleven at night now and Vanessa and Liz hadn't come back to the hospital yet. No doubt it was Liz keeping Vanessa away and that worked well for Pepper. She didn't want to even _see_ her mother now.

Stark Industires had called multiple times that day, and for the first time, Pepper answered the phone. And immediately, she was bombarded with questions and aggravations. Where was her phone? Didn't she know it was ringing? No one knew where she was and they thought she'd been in a related accident. Why didn't she bother calling them? How was he doing, anyway? Some of the papers are saying he's in a coma and some say he's brain dead, which is true? Oh, so he's alive? He's fine? What do you mean, he's not moving? We're going to need some sort of official statement before the press goes nuts, you know.

And immediately she'd been tossed into the professional world, forced to take out Tony's fires. Only this time, she didn't mind. In fact, she would take out all of Tony's fires and messes in the future as long as it meant he'd be fine and healthy.

Healthy.

Why was that so difficult for him? He could fix anything that broke down, create anything that came to mind as long as his music was on, and could talk his way out of World War III if need be. But the one thing that continued to haunt him endlessly was his health ever since the reactor had been installed. It was like a doubled edged sword, or a curse that came with a blessing. He had been granted life, but with it had come shortcomings concerning his well-being. And his health proved to be the one thing Tony found impossible to fix – permanently.

Despite how late it was, Tony's new attending doctor was still in the building – apparently, he had his share of paperwork to complete and he wasn't in the least bit happy about it. He had grown increasingly snarky as the day passed and the night progressed.

Around midnight or so, he limped into the ICU room, waking up Pepper who had been curled up in her chair asleep. She looked up at him, imagining all the different ways she could make his life difficult had she had the strength and motivation.

"Sorry," House said sarcastically – with that annoying grin on his face. "I usually get one of my lackeys to do this but the hospital won't let me fly them over so I'm stuck doing it myself."

Pepper didn't really get his point but shrugged and rolled her eyes, exhausted. A part of her wanted to grab his cane and beat him with it herself, but a larger part of her knew that Tony's last chance at life was in House's hands – and she'd take whatever bullshit and craziness to make sure Tony would be okay in the long run. Besides, if House was just as good as he claimed, then he had every right to be difficult in all honesty.

"So," House said, checking Tony's chart. "I take it your boy toy found another squish mitten a couple nights ago?"

"What?"

"Your boyfriend cheated," House said in layman's terms without batting an eye.

Pepper hesitated. "That's none of your business."

"Technically it is if he's got an STD…" House said slowly, tauntingly even.

She was silent. What was she supposed to say to that?

After a moment House said, "So you're _suspecting_ he cheated?"

"You just said that he had-"

"No I didn't," House said quickly, a scheming smirk on his lips as he analyzed her expressions. "I said it would be my business _if_ he had an STD. Which he doesn't. But you _assumed_ he did…which makes _my_ assumption valid."

"Well, what does any of it mean to you?" Pepper asked, immediately turning the tables. She was being attacked, and so she jumped to the defensive and attacked back. "You obviously don't care what I think, or how he's really doing, you're just here for kicks. I don't even know why you're treating him."

House hadn't expected this rationalization from her. But he shrugged. "Because it's interesting," he said simply. "A man literally wakes up from the dead – who doesn't think that's interesting? I'm just lucky the man is someone I admire enough to wait around for an autograph. But let's not make this about me!" He smiled, ready to turn back to the initial subject. "I was right about _you_…and that you think he cheated…" he paused, squinting and looking up at the ceiling for effect. "It was the night before the accident."

"How do you-?"

"Simple – you haven't left him unless you needed a piss which means you're guilt ridden. It obviously wasn't your fault since he was found in the middle of a New Mexico desert which makes the problem personal – and you reacted when I said 'STD'. Oh – and alcohol was involved." He nodded to himself, obviously pleased with his deductions.

"So what does it mean to you? There's nothing interesting there."

"Well, not anymore. I figured it out – all interest has disappeared with the solution."

"So why are you still here?"

"Because now," House said slowly. "I'm waiting for _you_ to do or say something interesting."

Pepper laughed and looked towards the wall. Then back at him. "Like what? You want me to pour my heart out to you? Tell you what happened and how I found out? Yeah, I bet you're expecting an interesting story. You want me to do something even more entertaining, maybe? Maybe…maybe I should write up the official story – mail it to _The New York Times_….or maybe I could just let you read my diary. Is that what you're expecting?"

"You don't seem like the kind to keep a diary."

"You're right – I don't."

"Hmm," House hummed to himself in mock speculation. Finally he said, "I'm _also_ still here because, as a doctor, it is my legal job to inform you of the state of the patient since you're his legal – he was dosed."

Pepper hesitated not entirely sure what he meant. Was he messing with her? Again? Or was it a joke? Was he trying to delve into her mind in search for a new puzzle to play around with for a while? Or was he just waiting for a reaction? "What do you mean?" she asked instead.

"I mean he didn't drink himself to oblivion," House continued checking Tony's vitals, making notes on his chart. "The alcohol the tox screen read was a sham – alcohol in a pill. Invented by some Russian scientist…"

"But that's still alcohol, how can you be sure it's a pill and that he didn't drink it himself?"

"My God, Woman, I'm _trying_ to give you good news – if he was drugged it means the alcohol wasn't his fault – and neither was trying to cheat on you."

"But…but how can you be sure-"

"_Embrace ignorance_," House said slowly. "Haven't you heard that ignorance is bliss?"

"Ignorance is a lie," Pepper said simply. "And when you're given the hint it makes ignorance no longer an issue. It's dealing with what you already know that becomes relevant."

"It doesn't matter if he cheated," House rationalized. "It matters if he did it voluntarily."

"And you're trying to tell me that it wasn't voluntary?" Pepper checked.

House shrugged and made a face. "I don't know what he did. I wasn't there. All I'm telling you is if he had anymore alcohol in his system he probably would have jumped off a building using his tux as a cape, convinced he was Superman. I'm _also_ telling you someone else _gave_ him that alcohol and he didn't know it. Everything in this story practically screams victim – so why aren't you convinced?"

She wanted to be convinced…no, she already _was_ convinced. Pepper looked up at him from where she was. "I am convinced. But I want to hear it from him. I didn't give him the chance to tell me that night and I wish I did – so I want to change that and hear it from _him_. It's not an interesting reason, it doesn't even make sense; but that's it. I'm sorry if it doesn't suffice."

House nodded and for a moment, she thought he'd let it be. But instead he said, "You're right…it's not an interesting reason."

For some reason, it made Pepper laugh, even if it was just slightly. House continued examining Tony but unfortunately, the next word she heard come out of his mouth wasn't entirely promising.

"Crap."

"What?" Pepper asked quickly, standing up. And as soon as she did, she saw it too. The urine collection bag next to Tony's bed was a dark, deep red.

"And where there's red pee, there's also…" House hummed to himself. He held up Tony's fingers, but when he didn't find what he was looking for, he opened one of Tony's eyes.

"Ladies and gentleman, we have a failing kidney and liver," House announced to himself and Pepper could see the gears in his head going into overtime. The same look Tony had when he was trying to make adjustments to something he had created – completely focused.

"What does that mean?" Pepper asked.

"That we're about to cancel a biopsy," House said before leaving her alone in the room. Immediately, he dialed a familiar number.

"Foreman," came the not so friendly reply.

"Where's the group?"

"I'll page them, we're all still at PPTH."

"Well, make it snappy – because our patient has a failing kidney and liver." He stopped by the nurse's station and said with an obnoxiously friendly smile. "Hi! I'm going to need to cancel the biopsy scheduled for Tony Stark."

"Fill out one of these and drop them at the dean's," the nurse said while smacking her gum. She handed House two long and small-printed sheets of paper before getting back to what she had been doing.

"Sorry," House said wincing, making sure he didn't make a move to touch the papers. "I have pulpuslacerataphobia."

"What?"

"Fear of papercuts," House said, looking completely seriously.

"Yeah, well I have my-shift-ended-half-an-hour-ago phobia so you can fill out the sheet or tell Mommy to do it for you."

The nurse left and House rolled his eyes, thinking, _My mommy's in New Jersey…and she wouldn't have minded if I didn't fill this shit out_. Just stupid.

"House?" Foreman said on the phone. "We're here."

"So he's got liver _and_ kidney failure?" Chase said.

"Man acts fast," Thirteen agreed.

"So no biopsy. This isn't an aneurysm."

"But it's the only thing that could cause false brain death, the problem still has to be _in_ the brain," Taub maintained. "Otherwise, we're screwed."

"Or _he's_ screwed."

"We've also get less than two days to figure this one out with symptoms popping up as fast as this," Chase pointed out.

"Thank you, buzz kill," House said. "Care to share a new theory?"

"Sorry, I'm fresh out at this point."

Everyone on the other end was silent and House sighed, rubbing his temple. "Okay. Let's go back to…dinner?"

"No, thanks," Chase joked.

"Our patient doesn't think it's very funny," House attacked. "And I meant _Stark's_ last dinner."

"I think this is the first time you've ever referenced a patient by his name…it's kind of weird."

"Am I the only concerned about the patient?" House asked, obviously aggravated.

"At the dinner he had alcohol," Taub said, as if that earned him bonus points.

"Yes!" House announced, annoyed. "We are aware, Captain Obvious. You hate alcohol. Alcohol is the devil. Care to share anything slightly more interesting? Like maybe, 'cheating on your wife is bad'?"

"So maybe alcohol is somehow involved," Thirteen said. "Sped up an already pre-existing condition or altered it in some way. The only question is, what condition?"

"Let's keep going…dinner…alcohol, then he jumps in a suit and flies to the ends of the earth."

"Or New Mexico," Foreman said. "Crash lands – brain trauma, causes the brain death and locked in."

"Maybe even the liver and kidney damage."

"This many days later? That's impossible, the liver and kidney damage is new. We would have seen something."

"We skipped something," House said suddenly, leaning against one of the walls and twirling his cane. "Go back – he crash lands."

"Okay…" Thirteen said slowly.

"What causes the crash?"

"The alcohol; he was drunk even if he technically didn't drink," Foreman answered.

"Or what if that's only part of the answer…?" House asked aloud in speculation. "What if…he passed out first? What if his loss of consciousness caused the crash?"

"Then there would have to be a pre existing condition before alcohol aggravated the problem."

"New theories now?"

"Tumor?"

"Brain tumor is likely but with no way of finding it, we're screwed."

"Cardiovascular diseases?"

"His heart's fine – it's the _only _thing that's fine."

"Basilar artery thrombosis?"

House twisted his lip in consideration. "It fits. Perfectly, even. Time to un-cancel the surgery."

"Except it still doesn't explain the false brain death."

"Nothing explains that except for lazy and inadequate doctors who can't run a simple test," Taub said. "They could have just screwed up."

"They tested for brain activity five times."

"Well that just makes them five times the idiots that they already are."

"I don't care how mentally incapable you are, you don't screw over an EEG five times in a row" House said "We're still missing something."

"So in essence, we're trying to figure out what made their machines go crazy," Chase checked.

"No, we're trying to figure out…yeah, what you said-"

"Then take it up with the engineering department. Nothing medical explains that. People don't come back from the dead so we can rule that out, and brain death can't just disappear. You either find religion or blame their machines."

"People come back from the dead all the time!" House defended. "Remember Lazarus?"

"House-"

House sighed. "Basilar artery it is," and with that he hung up. Still, he was sure the false brain death was related. Or maybe it deserved a separate diagnosis all together…perhaps it wasn't related…Immediately, he called his team again.

"What now?" Foreman asked.

"Brain death isn't related," he said quickly.

"We just agreed that it wasn't-"

"No, it's still a problem, it's just no related at all. What if the brain death _was_ the pre existing condition?"

"And the locked in? That came after?"

"No before," House said, growing more certain. "Both of them were caused by a pre existing condition. The alcohol, the crash, those only aggravated what was already there."

"You're leaving a lot to chance here."

"Oh ye of little faith," House said sarcastically to Chase. "Let's start with locked in – locked in causes crash and the kidney and liver failure."

"Basilar artery thrombosis still fits with that," Thirteen said.

"Not for long, though – false reading of brain death cause by an intracranial berry aneurysm."

"That's impossible, his heart would have had to stop as well-"

"Yes, well you've never seen the fluorescent light attached to his sternum."

"What?"

"Never mind," House said. "The device in his chest – what if that keep his heart going _as well as_ keeps shrapnel out of his heart?"

"What shrapnel?"

"Isn't that in the file?"

"No."

"Oh…I think that one was removed for confidentiality or some other shit."

"So how do _you_ have it?"

"He probably found it in one of those 'do not touch' piles," Thirten answered for him.

"So a berry aneurysm that should have stopped his heart, but didn't. Easily leads to the false reading of brain damage."

"With stress, alcohol and trauma aggravating the aneurysm even more." Taub added, impressed. "Like a bomb that had been set off early."

"Exactly."

"But it wouldn't cause the locked in as well."

"Nope – but leptospirosis would."

"Leptospirosis is contracted through rat's _urine_," Thirteen reminded him. "Not entirely sure he spends a lot of time with mice."

"I could check the house," House volunteered quickly.

"Sure…_now_ he checks the house," Chase muttered to himself.

"You want to get arrested too?" Taub spoke up. "Cuddy already has a reward on your head dead or alive."

"She's not _really_ mad," House said. "Besides, do you remember me saying the guy flew to the ends of the earth?"

Thirteen sighed sarcastically. "Well, when you put it like _that_, yeah it makes total sense_._"

"That one's largely speculation, though," Foreman said skeptically. "You think he was infected by leptospirosis…randomly."

"Which is why we treat before we test," House said. "Treatment's harmless. If I'm wrong, we'll find the basilar artery thrombosis when we take care of the aneurysm."

"And by 'we' you mean _you_," Foreman answered. "We're not doing your donkey work anymore. Have fun waiting in line."

"Hey!" House whined. "I've got Tony Stark on my side – lines can go to hell."

House hung up, immensely pleased with himself and went back to the nurses' station. His good humor went up a notch when he noticed the same nurse was at the table. "Hi! Remember me?" House asked enthusiastically.

"What now?"

"Remember that surgery I wanted to cancel? Mind if we un cancel it?"

"Yes, I do mind."

"Give your dean a call and tell her Tony Stark has been diagnosed with an intracranial berry aneurysm in conjunction with leptospirosis. I think we'll make an arrangement. Do you need me to write that down for you?"

House stayed by the station, making sure she made the call. The nurse's eyebrow rose, surprised. "A team's on their way," she said before hanging up.

He limped back into Tony's ICU room and just as he did, a team of doctors ran in behind him, disconnecting cables as if their lives depended on it and trying to get him moved. House smiled to himself, pleased that, for the first time, he didn't have to actually _try_ and skip surgery lines.

"Where are they taking him?" Pepper asked him as Tony was rolled down the hallway. She desperately wanted to follow but she knew her best source for answers was the man with the cane – the _rude_ man with the cane.

"Off to surgery – he's got a ticking time bomb in the back of his head."

"What?"

"It's just an aneurysm-"

"_No_," Pepper said sternly, her eyes lighting up in aggravation. For a moment, House _actually_ thought she would hit her. "No, you're going to explain _exactly_ what is going on, I don't want a condensed summary."

_Holy shit_, House thought to himself, both intrigued and impressed. Not many 'loved ones' cared about _what_ the problem was, but whether or not it could be fixed. But she was different – she wanted to know it all. She looked at him expectantly and warningly and House answered, "Don't let your head explode, it's an intracranial berry aneurysm."

"Which is…?" she prompted.

Curiosity. "It's time bomb in the back of his head that's set to explode at any due time. But the crash, the alcohol and the stress put it into overdrive and made the time bomb skip a couple numbers…a lot. It's causing most of his symptoms."

"Most," Pepper noted. "Well, what about the other ones, what other ones?"

"The reading of brain death is a symptom, which I guess means…" House rolled his and grimaced, already about to regret what he was about to say. "It means your first doctor wasn't a _complete_ idiot. He was, if I might add, still a moron," House added quickly.

"What's your point?"

"We think-"

"_Think_?"

"You're really difficult to impress, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Occasionally," Pepper snarked back. Two could play that game – she played it with Tony all the time.

House rolled his eyes. _Whatever_. "We think he passed out before he crashed. The locked in kicked in before he even hit the ground – leptospirosis."

"Leptospirosis, that's rats or something right?"

_That's impressive_. Of course, he'd never actually admit that. "Yes. Now here's my question…how likely is it that he came in contact with rats within the last week."

"Yes, definitely," Pepper said quickly, thinking to herself. God knew the remote places he went to in the middle of the night when Fury called. Sometimes Tony told her stories about where he went and she wasn't sure if the places were actually _on_ Earth.

House made a show of checking his watch. "Record time – I am _awesome_."

He started to make his way out of the room but Pepper stopped him, grabbing his arm to keep him where he was. "So that's it," she checked.

"That's it. Amazingly, that's how this whole medicine thing works. You come up with cool ideas, hope you're right, and the patient gets to see another day and make more stupid decisions."

"That's it," she repeated again. She hadn't even comprehended everything he had said afterwards. "He's fine, he's going to be fine."

"That's it," he repeated, obviously getting bored.

Pepper could hardly breathe. That was it – the last few days of hell were finally behind her…behind both of them. Tony would wake up the next morning, and the morning after, and the morning after that. And in time, maybe in a few days, a few hours…he'd talk, he'd smile, and he'd laugh about how worried she always was.

House had been surprised by this crazy ginger multiple times in the last two days, but he hadn't expected her to press her face in his chest and hug him. "Oh my God..." she said, finally crying gently and House realized that she hadn't cried at all – not once since he had arrived on the scene. She could handle pressure, bad news, and even the entire world about to blow her into oblivion. She stood her ground and played the part of the sane. And she handled whatever came her way. And now that all had been said and done, she had granted herself the opportunity to break down and let loose. The emotions buried within her could escape.

The only problem was that House wasn't much of a hugger.

He stood there awkwardly, waiting for her to back off and after a moment, she did, covering her mouth with her hands, trying to compose herself. Yet, her entire body racked with sobs. "Thank God…"

"House is fine," he said sarcastically.

Pepper smiled, tears still streaming down her face. "Thank you," she whispered quietly. She closed her eyes, sighing deeply. "Thank you."

He simply nodded and left the room. His work here was done.

* * *

Tony woke up just as the sun began to peak over the horizon and Pepper smiled slightly as he did. He was still attached to the ventilator but it no longer worried her – she'd been told it was going to come off eventually as he slowly healed. Lazily, his eyes found hers. And she lightly stroked his cheek – she finally was at peace.

"Hey, Honey," she said while smiling. She took his hand, squeezing it tightly as she exhaled. "You're going to be okay," she told him. And for the first time in days, she said it without even the slightest sense of doubt. Pepper kissed his hand lightly then wrapped both of her hands around his. "You're going to be okay."

She knew he was in there, she knew he heard, and she knew the road towards recovery wasn't going to be rapid. It would take time. His brain would have to learn to do its job again, to get his muscles to work; to get him to move.

But slowly, ever so slowly, his fingers managed to wrap around hers. The motion was gentle and his grip was nowhere near as tight as hers – but he had made the movement. Pepper smiled as she looked at him and again she placed her lips on his hand. "I know…I know, Tony." She held his hand to her cheek as she watched him. He was alive, and in time he would be healthy. And for now, that was all that mattered. "I love you."

_No, Pepper. No you don't…you don't…_

**Review and you shall be rewarded – WITH VIRTUAL HUGS! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Intracranial berry aneursym from last chapter was inspired by House episode "Brave Heart". Those who watch House are probably think "OH!" Because now brain death makes TOTAL sense ;) As well as coming back to life, lol!**

**Chapter 12**

Over the course of twelve hours, Tony was slowly weaned off the ventilator and Pepper watched the numbers diligently – 80% dependence, 60%...he was getting better. He was going to be okay and then finally, they could put everything that happened behind them.

But when the ventilator was finally removed, Pepper was filled with a myriad of conflicting and contradicting emotions. She wanted it removed; nothing could make her doubt that. But at the same time, its removal meant so much more – confrontation. Confronting what had happened a few nights ago, what she had seen and how she had reacted. Now that she was certain it wasn't Tony's fault, she felt ashamed. Ashamed that she could have even suggested that Tony had been consciously involved, that he was even capable of cheating on her. She hadn't given him a chance to speak and because of that, he was lying there in front of her. He had almost died. Her mistakes almost killed him. She hated herself for what she had done, and she couldn't see how it could be possible that he couldn't hate her as well.

He hadn't moved at all since the surgery – his fingers twitched once in a while, his lips would move as if trying to speak through the ventilator. His lack of movement worried her but she had been warned the path towards full recovery wasn't going to be instantaneous. Later, she would learn that he could move, but that he didn't want to.

So when the ventilator was at last removed, she held her breath, holding on to his hand as the doctors slowly removed the machine. Tony coughed as it was removed and the sound worried her. Was he supposed to sound like that?

As if reading her mind, the nurse replied, "He's hoarse, it's normal."

She nodded, not really paying attention – worry had already set in. And just as quickly as they had come to remove it, they left, leaving the two of them alone.

"Hey, Tony," she whispered, sighing, completely unable to hide the worry in her eyes. She kissed his cheek. "Hey…" _Can you talk now? Can you say something?_ She wanted to ask but she knew it was unfair, so she said nothing. So instead she willed herself to be content that they had at least passed this one hurdle. The rest could be tackled in due time.

But, as per usual, he surprised her. His eyes half open, he looked at her, and a hoarse groan escaped his lips. Pepper smiled, stroking his hair. "It's okay, just….shh…don't talk, it's fine-"

His head moved a little, shaking his head slightly – just slightly. "No-"

"Tony, shh-"

"Hate…"

But that was all he could get out for the moment and for that split second, she assumed the worst. No, she _knew_ what he was trying to tell her. _He hates me…he hates me because of what I did to him_. And he had every right to. She closed her eyes and bit her tongue so hard she drew blood.

"Tony, I'm-"

"Me-" Tony interrupted in an attempt to finish his sentence. "Hate…me…?"

Pepper shook her head avidly. No, how could he even think that? "No, Tony, no….no, I don't hate you, I could never hate you-"

"You think I did it-" he said in a quick burst before his eyes closed slightly. But they opened again, as if he was willing himself to stay awake. "Hate me—I did it…think I did it-"

"No, I don't. Tony, I know it wasn't your fault-"

"Think I did it-" he looked delirious now, his eyes rolling around lazily in their sockets. The machines were beeping noisily in the background but Pepper wasn't paying any attention to them.

"Tony, look at me…look at me, Tony—Tony, I know you didn't do it, it's not your fault, I know that now-"

"Hate me…hate me, hate me…" Even in his state he sounded so obstinate, so sure; and as he murmured to himself doctors and nurses came scrambling in as the machines became louder and louder.

"I don't hate you-"

"I didn't, I don't want to…"

"Tony, stop-" Pepper begged, tears escaping the corner of her eyes. He was blaming himself. It wasn't his fault, he was lying in a hospital bed, and he was still convinced what had happened was his fault._He_ was supposed to hate _her_. Not the other way around.

_This is your fault_, the words echoed in Pepper's mind. _This is because of you._

"I'm sorry-" Tony muttered before one of the nurses quickly led her out of the room. He was already unconscious by the time she was on the other side of the glass doors, looking into the room. Just like that, she was locked out again.

"What did you do?"

The voice had come from right behind her and Pepper quickly turned to see who it was.

"You're still here?" Pepper asked as she quickly wiped away her tears in her attempt to keep a straight face.

"I still have paperwork," House told her. Then noticing that she was still looking at Tony, he rolled his eyes. "He had a panic attack, he's not dying."

"Why would he have a panic attack?"

"Well…obviously _you_ panicked him."

"How?"

House made a face and shrugged. "I don't care – a panic attack is diagnostically boring." And with that, he turned around and left her alone so he could finish his last minute papers.

For the second time in less than three minutes, the doctors and nurses left the room, declaring him stable for the time being. Pepper slowly made her way back inside, afraid she might do something else that would aggravate him. But he was still unconscious; breathing on his own, but unconscious.

He was scared – he was scared because of _her_. Or maybe fear wasn't the correct emotion, but doubtful? Uncertain? He was doubtful of her feelings and assumed they were lies. How could he think that?

_Because I told him that; I told him I didn't love him. But it was a lie, and he doesn't know that_.

* * *

For the first time in days, she actually received a call she didn't mind answering, a call from Tony's best friend.

"They've practically got me under lock and key down here," Rhodey explained. He sounded out of breath. "I haven't even been home. How is he? How's he doing? Is he getting any better?"

Pepper had to interrupt him just to get a word in. "He's fine Rhodey – he's doing just fine. He's not in a coma, he's off the ventilator-"

Rhodey practically cheered and the sudden noise nearly made Pepper jump out of his skin. "So that's it, he's fine?"

"Not one hundred percent," Pepper said, smiling a little. It was impossible not catch at least _some_ of Rhodey's enthusiasm and despite the previous incidence, Pepper knew Tony getting better was good news. "He's getting there, Rhodey…he's going to be okay."

"Oh, thank God…"

Unfortunately, throughout the rest of the day, she was on the phone, answering calls from people she didn't necessarily want to talk to. Practically everyone who had her number, including a few annoying reporters contacted her that day. Nearly every member of the board called her individually (though they all worked in the same building) and she was forced to speak with each of them.

Then it was her mother's turn.

Vanessa didn't say much. Nothing except for, "I'm pleased to know he's doing better" which Pepper knew was a step in a positive direction from, "Why can't he just die, already?"

"So how are _you_ doing?" Liz asked once her mother was out of earshot.

"I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. Seriously, how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Pepper repeated. _I'm lousy and guilty and want to duck my head in a hole for the rest of my life._

Liz sighed, easily able to translate Pepper's words. "He's fine now-"

"I know that-"

"But that's not what the problem is, now is it? That's what you wanted before but now that you know he's going to get better something else is bugging you."

Pepper's silence was total agreement.

"You know you can tell me."

"He thinks I hate him," Pepper admitted as she stood by the glass walls, facing the lobby. He was still unconscious behind her – he had been for the last five hours. Just what exactly did they give him that knocked him out for so long? "He woke up and started ranting about how I hate him and that he's sorry-" Pepper stopped, her words getting caught in her throat.

"Calm down…look, he's going to wake up again…and then you'll talk to him, okay? You'll talk to him, figure this out-"

"I _told_ him….I told him I hated him the night it happened. And even though he's been out of it for hours it seems to be the one thing he remembers. The first thing he told me when he woke up was that I hated him…that he was sorry…it's not even his fault and it's the only thing he remembers…"

"That's not true, he probably remembers-"

"It doesn't matter, I said I hated him and that's the first thing he spat back at me. That I hate him…I'm just wondering, is that what he's been thinking the whole time? He's been thinking that I hate him and that I'm just sticking around because he's sick? Has he been thinking that as soon as he got better I'd just leave him or-?"

"Ginny, stop…you're both worried, you're both scared and I don't think either of you know what to think, okay?"

"I just can't believe I did that…Liz, I made this mess. He wouldn't even be here if I had just stayed, and-and- just _listened_ to him. But I couldn't even do that, I just jumped without giving him a chance and now he thinks it's somehow his fault and that I hate him and-"

"You both assumed, okay? And I _told_ you, it's not your fault. Please, stop…okay? Just talk. Talk to him, talk it over."

"He's been out for five hours-"

"When he wakes up," Liz told her. "_Talk_ to him."

Pepper closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "Okay…okay, I'll talk to him-"

"This is going to work out, Ginny. It's going to work out, it's going to be fine. And you're going to _trust_ each other even more because of it, I know it."

"Okay…" Pepper repeated. "Okay, I'll-"

Something stirred behind her and Pepper immediately whirled around, her heart racing. One of the machines was beeping methodically. On the other end of the line, Pepper could hear Liz repeat, "Hello? Hello?", but her voice seemed miles away. All Pepper seemed to comprehend was that Tony was finally waking up again.

"Hey," Pepper whispered, immediately rushing to his side. His eyes opened slightly and when his eyes found her, she smiled, albeit sadly. The memory of the last time he had woken up threatened to bring tears to her eyes. "Hey…"

But Tony misinterpreted the sadness in her eyes. His mouth opened, then closed slowly, trying to remember how to form words. Then with a hoarse voice, he asked, "Hate…me?"

"No, Tony…" Pepper told him again, holding his hand. "I don't hate you, I'll never hate you-"

"Yes…think I did it—hate me, you hate me…?"

"No, I don't-"

"Hate me-?" He had that distant look in his eyes again and suddenly, just as the machines began beeping again, Pepper realized what was happening. He didn't remember waking up last time, he didn't remember having this conversation. And now he was about to go into another panic attack.

_I did this to him? Every time he sees me, he thinks I hate him? Is that what he's always been thinking?_

"Sorry-"

"Tony," she held his face in her hands and that seemed to bring him back to the present. His eyes shifted and he looked at her; and the sadness in her eyes mirrored the sadness in his own. "Look at me, Tony. I don't hate you, I promise-"

"Hate-"

"No, I don't," she told him again, holding his cheek in her hand. "Please listen to me," she whispered so softly that it was nearly impossible he heard her.

"I'm sorry-"

She closed her eyes, quietly despising herself. But she slowly leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I don't hate you, Tony…I could never hate you…I love you," she whispered in his ear. She leaned back slightly so she could look into his eyes. "Okay? Do you understand that?"

He looked like he was about to protest or say something else, but nothing escaped his lips at first. As if he wasn't sure he could believe her. Finally, he swallowed a little and murmured, "Okay."

"Okay," Pepper repeated, trying to smile – even if it was just for him.

He slowly closed his eyes and Pepper assumed he had fallen asleep. She watched him as his chest rose and fell steadily and for the first time in days finally appreciated the simple movement, and that it was being done on his own, without the help of any machine.

"Why?" he asked quietly all of a sudden. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Why not…hate me?"

Pepper touched his chin, noticing his untrimmed goatee. But the confused and longing look in Tony's eyes proved he was still scared and worried. "Because you did nothing wrong," Pepper told him, trying to reassure him; trying to make him understand.

He closed his eyes and turned his head away a little, frowning to himself. "Head hurts…" he complained sleepily.

"Alright, Tony…we'll talk later-"

"No…" he immediately changed his mind and faced her. "No, now-"

"Tony-"

"I don't remember it, I don't know anymore-"

"You…think it was your fault?" Pepper finished for him, understanding what he was trying to say. "That you…"

Tony looked away, his heart aching suddenly. What _if_ it was his fault? What if he had instigated what had happened? He didn't remember anything that happened that night anymore, as if he had been completely stripped of the memory. And he needed to know, not knowing was too painful. Or at least, not knowing completely. Glimpses of that night still remained with him. He remembered feeling disoriented and dizzy, him being led to the hotel room, trying to resist but finding it next to impossible…

"Tony," Pepper called quietly, forcing him to look at her. "You know it wasn't you…they told you that, that someone else poisoned you. It wasn't your fault."

"But you don't know that…"

"I know, okay?"

He closed his eyes tightly. "I…I tried to stop it…"

"Tony, stop-"

"I wanted to stop it, why couldn't I stop it-?"

"Stop," Pepper repeated, placing a finger on his lips to silence. "Okay, shh…don't do this to yourself now. First you need to get better, alright?"

"And then you'll leave."

"What?" Pepper asked, surprised.

"What?" Tony repeated her question in the same tone – like a child who didn't know the right answer so he repeated the question. Then after a second he winced, realizing he had said his thoughts aloud.

"You think I'm going to-" _You think I'm going to leave you?_ Pepper thought. "Why would I do that?" she asked him honestly, shaking her head.

"Because you hate me."

Pepper was about to protest, but when she saw the heavy sadness in his eyes along with the simultaneous sincerity…he had already _accepted_ that it was over; that there was nothing left. And immediately, Pepper felt her eyes pool with tears.

"Why…crying?" Tony asked, trying to sit up. But he only managed to lift his head up from the pillow a few centimeters before resting it back.

Pepper closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm herself. He was confused. He was honestly confused and didn't understand why she would still hold any emotions toward him.

"Tony, I don't hate you," she tried to explain.

His head twitched and Pepper realized he was trying to shake his head. "You said-"

"I said I hated you," Pepper interrupted, still crying. "I know that's what I said, and I'm sorry, Tony. I'm sorry-"

"Why?"

The single world nearly made her break down completely. "Because I was angry!" she said trying not to raise her voice. "I was angry because of what I saw…what I _thought_ I saw that night and I wasn't thinking. What I did was wrong…I should have listened to you before I started assuming things and I'm sorry. I should have known you wouldn't have done that, and just by assuming that you did…"

Tony just stared at her and Pepper couldn't place the expression, frightening her even more.

"I was angry…and I said what I said _because_ I was angry, not because I meant it." She looked down at the ground for a moment before saying, "Tony…I don't think it's physically possible for me to _not_ love you," she finally admitted. "Even if what happened that night…had happened differently…I'd still love you. Do you understand that?"

He shook his head again and Pepper was worried he would deny it. But instead he said, "I…I don't want to hurt you-"

"I know you, Tony, you won't-"

"But now I will," he said, obstinately. "When you look at me…you'll think about that night…"

"No," she said, sitting on the edge of the chair to get closer to him. "No, that's not true. When I look at you…" She laughed a little, and the smile reached her eyes. "I'll think about when we first kissed, do you remember? On the roof?" She took his hand as she thought back. "And I'll remember my last birthday – and that you took me to that restaurant, and sang for me, and then took me back to that balcony…and I'll _never_ forget just how stubborn you are. And how hopelessly dependent you are on JARVIS," she laughed again, weaving her hand through his dark hair. "Tony, the reason it hurt so much when I saw…the reason I assumed was because I trust you. I trust you so much, with all my heart. And when I saw that I didn't understand how it was possible…I was confused, I was upset, I didn't know what to think. But I _should_ have talked to you. That was stupid and I'm sorry. I trust you, Tony. I still do. And I trust you because I _know_ you, and I know you would never do anything like that to hurt me. And what happened that night wasn't your fault – I _know_ that. And that's all that matters to me. That I trust you, and that I love you."

In that very instant, Pepper saw Tony's eyes become warmer – and the dark, impenetrable, metallic-like black they once were seemed to soften to a warm brown. The barrier was gone, the worry and fear had now evaporated. "I love you," he told her. And he meant it. He would always mean it.

Pepper nodded and she leaned forward to plant a light kiss on his lips. "Me too, Tony…I love you too." She then smiled, just mere centimeters from his face, chuckling to herself. "You need to brush your teeth."

Tony groaned. "Give me a break."

She chuckled to herself but kissed him again. "Does that mean you'll get some rest now?"

"No," Tony said immediately and Pepper laughed again, rolling her eyes at him. She continued to stroke his hair and slowly his eyes closed. It hadn't been five minutes before he had fallen asleep once again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The road towards recovery wasn't paved with streets of gold nor decorated with diamonds and studded with pearls...it was difficult, it was arduous, it was frustrating.

And he wasn't even out of the hospital yet.

It had taken nearly an entire day for Tony to have enough energy and strength to talk for more than fifteen minutes at a time before diving past the verge of unconsciousness. And that alone frustrated Pepper; she wanted to talk to him, to make sure he was okay. And his dozing off every quarter hour wasn't exactly putting her mind at ease. After another day, he had found it in him to lift his head, hold up his hand, wiggle his fingers..undeniable progress. That's what Pepper had been looking for, and now she had found it.

But after a full week of hospitalization, he remained bed ridden. His legs still remained paralyzed.

Well, not completely. He could feel his feet, move his toes and when he concentrated hard enough he could even move his legs completely. But making the motion wasn't in the least bit efficient and proved to be just as difficult as carrying a heavy piece of furniture up a flight of stairs. Possible, but difficult - and that aggravated him. Would he ever gain full and total use of his legs? Or was he now doomed to permanent confinement in a wheelchair?

Ugh. The wheelchair. He was _not _ looking forward to that. Of course, he had been warned that movement of his lower limbs would return last but that still didn't keep him from worrying about it. And the fact that he was going to have to stay in one _seat_ for an extended period of time was enough to drive him up the wall. How the hell was he supposed to stay still? This was just another form of torture.

Over the last week, a few people from work had stopped by. Members of the board, Richard, that one secretary who _really_ liked Tony and now whenever she saw Pepper was sure to send her evil death glares. And as everyone visited, Pepper noticed the façade, the mask he put up every time. And what surprised her most was that it was a different mask every time. Some people called it conforming, but after knowing Tony for so many years she called it "people skills", being able to be the person the other person wanted you to be for that particular moment in time, and truth be told, Tony's "people skills" had gotten him out of trouble a fair share of times. But now, he seemed to be doing it not to willfully manipulate someone else, but because he was legitimately _hiding_ something. Because there was something behind the mask he didn't want people to see.

Once the visitors left, he would always descend into a melancholy state. A state so introspective, she'd find him, staring off into space or frowning to himself in deep thought; no, in deep _worry_. Something was bugging him; something besides the idea of wheelchair (which he had made abundantly clear he hated). And Pepper was hesitant to ask; not because she didn't want to know, but because she didn't want to bug him as well. She didn't want to add on to whatever he was feeling. Maybe he just needed space, time to think or be alone.

So Pepper made sure to do that.

She would leave for anywhere between fifteen minutes to an hour to find something to eat, get some work done, confront a lying reporter or deny a claim one of them made – anything just to give him space. This was a side of him she wasn't used to dealing with. He always said what was on his mind and wasn't afraid of any form of confrontation. And when he _did_ hide things from her, he didn't mind the question, even if he refused to provide the answer. But now, the question had become the new milestone, and this unknown territory frightened her.

What had changed? What made her so afraid to simply _ask_? Did she fear the answer? No, that wasn't it…she _always_ feared the answer but she had no problem asking anyway because she always wanted to know. So was it that, then? That she didn't fear the answer but preferred ignorance? Since when had she believed in ignorance?

No, she told herself, just before her thought process was interrupted. _I'm going to ask him, I can't be afraid to simply ask_.

"This is just disgusting…"

Tony's voice interrupted her daydream and she looked up at him, questioningly. He was holding up a small mirror and, as if in deep thought, was scratching and inspecting his unshaven goatee.

Pepper laughed lightly. "That's your biggest worry right now? Your unshaven 'stache?"

"It's a _goatee_," Tony corrected, rolling his eyes. "There's a distinct difference."

"You could have just asked for shaving cream before if it was bugging you that much."

"You would've laughed at me."

"I am now," Pepper said, smiling at his absurdity.

"Yes, but now this thing is _really_ annoying me so I don't care."

"You're restless, I get it," Pepper quickly translated, waiting for his response.

Tony immediately dropped his mirror on his lap. He frowned. "I assure you, I am most definitely _not-_"

"Admit it," Pepper said slowly. "Or I won't find you shaving cream."

Tony said nothing, going back to inspecting the mess on his face. He purposely refused to look at her and instead completely focused his attention on the mirror in front of him.

_3…2…1…_ Pepper thought to herself.

"I'm restless. I'm bored…and I'm acting like a child, I agree. _Please_, find me some shaving cream and a blade," Tony said dropping the mirror back into his lap instantly as he whined. "You win. Congratulations."

Pepper smiled and brought out both items from a compartment just underneath the hospital bed. She raised them up in one hand and sucked in her lips to keep herself from laughing, looking as sheepish as possible.

"Hey, wait a minute…"

"All you had to was ask," she told him as she stood up to move his wheelchair to his bed. Tony didn't look nearly as amused as Pepper though as she helped him into the chair. But as she did so, she couldn't help but wonder about her own question: What was bothering Tony? What was chewing at the back of his mind that he was keeping a secret? All she had to do was ask too. His long moments of internal worrying were always separated by ephemeral moments such as these – moments where nothing seemed to be a problem, where they could talk and laugh about nothing in particular. And even though she loved those moments, the knowledge that they weren't real haunted her.

"Tony?" she asked just before he wheeled himself out.

"Yeah?"

She looked at him, the worry pouring from her eyes. "Tony…are you okay?"

The question lingered in the air for a moment. "I'm…fine…"

"No, it's just that…I feel like there's something wrong? That there's something worrying you?" Now wasn't the time for these questions. Not when he was about to leave. She should have asked before, or just waited for a more appropriate time. Now she just sounded paranoid.

"Pepper, I'm fine, alright?" he said, not entirely sure where all of this was coming from. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah, just…never mind, I'm just a little tired," she said, waving it off as she rubbed the side of her head with the palm of her hand. "I'm going to get something to eat, I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

"Alright," he confirmed, but now he was trying to figure out her emotions. Reluctantly, he left the room.

Pepper sat back down on the bed, staring at her hands in her lap, ready to descent into another bout of worry before she left for the cafeteria. But before she could begin the routine, the doors slid open to reveal two people – one person she was pleased had entered and the other she hadn't really wanted to deal with just yet. Or _now_ for that matter.

"Hi," Liz said reluctantly, glancing nervously at her mother.

"Hi," Pepper answered a little confused. "What's wrong, is-?"

"Are we not allowed to even come in anymore?" Vanessa asked, with a skeptic raise of an eyebrow.

"No, sure, I mean…I just thought…"

"I told you we could have at least called," Liz tried to argue. "I mean, really, Mom…"

"No, it's fine…" _I just need to think._

"So where is he?"

"You haven't even been in here once in the last week, why do you care so much now?" Pepper asked, immediately jumping to the defensive on his behalf.

"Where is he?" her mother repeated, ignoring the statement. She sat down in one of the chairs, making herself comfortable as Liz gave her sister an apologetic look.

"He's…shaving…" Pepper answered reluctantly.

"Why the hell is he shaving, it's not like he's going out any time soon."

_God, Tony, you're not making my life easy, are you?_ "If I had told you he went to brush his teeth you would have said the same thing. He's restless, what's the big deal."

"I just really want to meet him," Liz said, unable to contain her excitement as she grinned widely.

"Liz…you already met him," Pepper reminded her.

"Yeah, but that was when he was on the brink of death and unable to move. This is going to be so much more exciting."

Pepper smiled just as Tony wheeled himself toward the group. Pepper frowned, noticing his untrimmed goatee. "I thought you said you were going to shave."

"Yeah, but then I heard company and got all excited. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go back? Because I can always do that," he said saucily, a smirk playing on his lips. Pepper made a face, but rolled his eyes at him.

"Oh, please, don't let me rain on your parade," Pepper said.

"And of course, Mrs. Potts," Tony said, holding out his hand to greet her. He eyes Pepper haughtily, yet playfully and said, "I can't help but wonder what's taken us so long to finally meet." Pepper simply shook her head and rolled her eyes again.

"_Ms_. Potts," Vanessa quickly corrected, but she took his hand and Pepper quietly let out a sigh of relief.

Tony pretended he had never even heard the correction. Instead, he asked, "May I call you Vanessa?"

"May I call Anthony?" she asked back.

Tony winked. "Tony's fine," he said with a smile. He quickly shifted his attention in order to avoid confrontation – a move he had learned to perfect over the years. "And of course Elizabeth…"

"Liz is fine," she answered, obviously trying not to pass out.

Tony again looked back at Vanessa. He'd return to Liz later – he already had her approval. "Vanessa, if I may that is a dazzling necklace-"

"Thank you," she answered curtly but this time she sounded almost civil.

"Aventurine and carnelian, it's a very magnificent yet subtle mix."

Pepper raised an eyebrow. _What the hell?_

"Jade and carnelian," her mother corrected, equally surprised, but now her tone had changed completely towards curiosity.

"My mistake," Tony said casually. "It's an interesting combination and I should have realized that earlier. It is in fact a different texture."

"Uh…yes, it is."

Pepper sucked in her lips and glanced somewhere else to keep herself from laughing unexpectedly. Tony knew how to play his cards. Obviously, Tony was going to have to try a lot more than simply flattery but, naturally, he had a back up plan.

"Oh, come on," Tony joked. "You got to admit it's pretty impressive that I know so much about jewelry."

"I take it that's how you picked up all the girls over the years."

_Good God_, Pepper sighed internally.

But it seemed to be _just_ the response Tony was looking for. Tony wasn't afraid of awkwardness – he embraced it. "I'm flattered, Vanessa, really, I am but I was never really into older women."

"Intimidation?" Vanessa asked pointedly.

"Naturally," Tony said just as quickly, as if it was a legitimate answer. He winked again and at that point, Liz found it nearly impossible to keep her mouth shut – she laughed.

His next golden opportunity had been handed to him and he looked straight at Liz before Vanessa could think of a witty retort or insult. "You know, the you and Pepper look so alike, it's slightly terrifying...?" He pointed at her, obviously thinking of some new idea or scheme. It was that look he made when a ridiculous idea popped into his head and he had no choice but to share. "You know, if you two were standing right next to each other, I don't think I'd know who to go for, is that weird?"

The fact that he had even _said_ that got Liz sputtering into peals of laughter. Pepper glanced at her mother to see what she was about to say but she was _actually_ smiling. Well, she was trying not to smile but the fact that she was _trying_ meant that she had thought it funny and was just trying to keep up with her act. Pepper was immediately impressed – this had to be a record.

"Can I ask a question?" Liz asked.

"Not unless you raise your hand and wait your turn."

Liz smiled before asking, "Why do you call her Pepper…you're the only person who calls her that."

Tony squinted, as if considering sharing, and scratched his forehead with his thumb. "Uh…yeah, that's a particularly interesting story-"

"Yeah, maybe later," Pepper quickly spoke up. Once she told this story, her mother's 5% approval for Tony would immediately dip to 0% again. And at this point in time, every point counted.

"Oh, I really want to know," Liz asked again.

"Well, if you insist!" Tony said enthusiastically yet obnoxiously, causing Liz to laugh again. "But Pepper's going to have to explain the first part."

"What do you mean the first part?" Pepper asked, worriedly.

"Well, the part before I woke up the next morning. I was drunk for the first part of the story, remember?"

Pepper laughed, remembering. "Alright, you came back home one night, drunk out of your mind-"

"Yes, Pepper – I know."

"Stop interrupting," she chastised playfully, ignoring her mother completely. "Happy and I dragged you over to your bedroom while you kept talking about spicy chicken."

"Chicken?" Tony and Liz asked simultaneously.

Pepper waved her hand, as if to say that wasn't important. "Eventually, as the two of us put him down," she glanced at Tony to find him listening attentively as if he himself didn't know the story and she smiled. "My hair gets in the way and Tony starts smelling it and talking about how spicy it is."

"Spicy?" Liz asked, wrinkling her nose.

"I never said that," Tony said, rolling his eyes, completely unconvinced.

"How would you know, you would've jumped off the Chrysler building convinced you were Superman if no one was around," Pepper mocked. "Anyway, the next morning, I made fun of him about it and-"

"Oh! I remember this part!" Tony exclaimed as he wheeled himself towards the bed.

"So then what?" Liz prompted.

"I told him that the night before he had said my hair was "spicy". Then he stuck his face in my hair again and told me that he was right…that it smelled like peppermint."

"Peppermint's not spicy," Liz argued.

"Well, it's the same concept," Tony argued. "Seriously, give me some credit. I was so drunk I probably thought I was in Narnia."

Liz laughed again and Pepper shrugged. "And the name stuck."

"Hey, Pepper could you help me up?" Tony asked in all seriousness, sitting right next to he bed. He was already attempting to feebly get on his own two feet but Pepper quickly wrapped her arms around him and helped lead him over to the correct position. Once situated, he muttered a sincere "Thanks," and sighed heavily. Pepper immediately sensed the uneasiness as he slowly sat down. That look in his eyes...something was bothering him. But just as quickly as the look had come, it immediately disappeared and he turned to Liz, a different look in his eyes and said, "You know that's actually a valid question, I don't think anyone's ever asked that before."

Just like that, he was the Tony Stark that everyone expected him to be. The act almost convinced Pepper…almost, but not quite, and she tried to push the worry out of her mind for the time being. She'd talk to him later.

"You know I'd complement your jewelry but you don't have anything on, so I'm pretty much out of luck," Tony admitted with a sheepish curl of his lower lip. "I mean, I guess I could say I like your skirt but that's just weird again, isn't it?"

"I'll take what I can get," Liz told him. "If it's any consolation, I'll tell you right now that I like the unshaven look which I think is equally awkward."

"Do you really?" Tony asked, feeling particularly conceited.

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Liz…don't encourage him."

"Why not?" Tony pouted. "Encouragement is nice every now and then."

"You're not looking for encouragement, Tony. You're just begging for a complement."

"So?"

"I think it's better shaved," Pepper told him, finally adding her own two cents.

Tony immediately turned to Vanessa. "You're the tie breaker," he prompted.

"Tony," Pepper reminded him. "It's a beard."

"A _goatee_!" Liz corrected.

"Thank you!" Tony said. He pointed at Pepper's sister. "See, I'm really starting to like her better, you know she's not as judgmental as you."

"I'm not judgmental."

"You're judgmental."

"I'm realistic."

"You're judgmental."

Pepper shoved him slightly and Tony moved a bit, mostly to humor her.

"Oh, that reminds me…you're going to have to make an official statement when you're discharged," Pepper reminded Tony.

"Being judgmental reminded you of _work_? That's just sad."

"It's…just a figure of speech, I guess. But you're going to need to draft something."

"But that's what I've got you for."

"No way…this one's all on you. You're a big boy."

"Well, I can't argue with _that_," Tony said suggestively, but low enough so that only Pepper could hear. He batted his eyebrows suggestively and Pepper tried not to laugh. "_You_ can't argue with that either," he taunted.

"If you're such a big boy then you can draft a statement yourself. I'll save a surprise for you if you do it, how does that sound?"

"The real question is if I'm going to like the surprise…you know that one time I did something by myself and all I got was a tie…"

"I promise to make it worth it," Pepper promised, leaning towards him.

"I'll hold you up to it."

"You better start writing."

"But that would involve thinking, and-"

"Please?"

"Fine," Tony agreed quickly. Pepper smiled and lightly kissed him before leaning back and ruffling his deep brown hair playfully. Then she leaned back to find the hospital notepad and pen and dropped both of them on Tony's lap.

"You mean _now_?" Tony asked, whining, honestly surprised. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"Yes, now," Pepper told him. Then she raised an eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"

Tony glanced at her nervously. "Are you kidding? I eat official statements to the press for breakfast."

"Well, the two of us have to be off," Vanessa announced suddenly, standing up, much to Liz's chagrin.

"But it was _your_ idea to-"

"I have an appointment and I completely forgot about it," Vanessa quickly saved.

"It really was nice to meet you, Vanessa," Tony told her before she could leave the room. Immediately, Vanessa turned around, probably about to answer with a haphazard goodbye. But Tony interrupted her instead, saying, "You don't approve."

That immediately got everyone's attention – direct confrontation and discussion. The emotions Vanessa felt were obvious, but remained unspoken. Until now, it seemed.

"Vanessa, if it means anything to you, I love your daughter with all my heart. And I promise, I will _never_ do anything to hurt her."

Pepper lightly placed her hand on Tony's shoulder. Just those few sentences meant so much to her – that he was _trying_, that he honestly did want her approval just as much as Pepper did. Vanessa nodded once, muttered a flimsy goodbye, and immediately left the room before either Tony or Pepper could discern her expression. Liz quietly followed her mother out.

"That was sweet," Pepper told him, nudging him.

"My charm is endless," Tony joked. But the playful look in his eyes that had once been there had immediately disappeared with the company. His eyes seemed darker and immediately she sensed a single yet intense feeling within him: pain.

"What's the matter?" Pepper asked, sitting to the side slightly so she could examine his facial expressions better.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Tony said quickly in short bursts. It looked like he was trying to hold his breath and breath slightly through his nose alone.

"Tony, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's just-"

"Don't lie to me, Tony," Pepper warned, her anxiety skyrocketing.

Tony closed his eyes, clutching the sheets till his knuckles turned white. "It's not a big deal…my chest hurts a little, it's nothing."

Pepper didn't like the sound of that. Anything that had to do with his chest immediately frightened her. Chest meant arc reactor, and problems with the reactor weren't easily fixed. The pain he was feeling obviously wasn't just 'a little'. "Have you been in pain the whole time?" Pepper asked, scared.

"It's…yeah, a little, but it just got worse…"

"How long have you been in pain? Do you want me to call-?"

"No! No, I'm fine, it's getting better...I'll be fine…." And the pain slowly did seem to subside. He slowly let go of the sheets and his breathing became increasingly stable. "I'm fine, I'm fine…" he repeated, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, not just her.

"Tony…"

"It's not a big deal, alright?" he told Pepper, finally opening his eyes. "I'll tell you if it gets worse. I might just be tired, or because I haven't moved around too much-"

Pepper sighed. "Tony, if there's something wrong, please tell me…I can't handle this anymore."

Tony sighed, rubbing the side of his head. "My…chest has been hurting and I have no idea why. I'm not sure if the doctors played around with the reactor – but as soon as I'm discharged, I'll run some tests with JARVIS. Figure it out. Don't worry. I'm fine alright?" He rushed his sentences quickly – a habit he had perfected especially when he got nervous.

"Okay," Pepper said reluctantly, but she still wasn't entirely convinced. "There's something else, though, isn't there?"

"What?"

"There's something else you're not telling me."

"Pepper, that's it-"

"You're still hiding something, you're not telling me something. What aren't you telling me?" Pepper said firmly. They were going to talk and they were going to talk about it _now_. "For the last couple days, something's been bothering you, I can tell. Please, can you tell me what it is?" she begged.

Tony sighed loudly, looking away for a moment, massaging his temples. "I'm…not entirely excited about being discharged."

She hadn't expected that. "What do you mean?"

He sighed again and then looked at her, a look of dejection upon his face. "I…really don't want to deal with any of this. At all," he said honestly, laughing dryly. "I just want to go home and lock myself up for a couple days."

Pepper nodded slightly. Escape wasn't usually his plan of action, and this change worried her. But she'd make an exception – when he had reached 100% health, they'd discuss it in more detail. "We can do that," she told him simply.

"No, we can't," he rebuffed. "_I_ can't. I have to deal with it. _We_ have to deal with it. And I really don't want to. Pepper, half of the country is convinced I cheated which is annoying at best, so either I prove I didn't, giving everyone a free access pass into my personal life or let them think we have one screwed over relationship; and I don't really like either of those choices – then there's all the board meetings afterwards, the crap I've been missing, business crap that I need to take care of – and I think I missed-"

"Tony, stop, slow down-" Pepper told him, shushing him with a finger at his lips. "Stop. Stop worrying about it, okay? It always takes care of itself, doesn't it?"

"Right," Tony said, not entirely sure.

"You don't usually worry so much about things like this. It's usually me that does the worrying."

"I'm tired," he admitted, staring up at her lazily. He shrugged once as if to prove it. "In general. I'm just tired. Of everything."

She hated hearing him like this. Even though he was physically improving, he was emotionally drained. "It'll be okay," she reassured him. "We'll take care of everything, con a few people on the way, it'll be great. It always is. And in the end, a more interesting story will come along – maybe the Senator Stern will have a heart attack." Tony laughed lazily and Pepper smiled. "We'll get through it. We always do."

Tony was about to say something just as the doors opened _again_. Both of their attention shifted back towards the door and Pepper was relieved when she recognized the guest's face.

"Hi, Rhodey," Pepper greeted, standing up to hug him.

"Hey, Pepper, how are you feeling?" Rhodey asked, glad that she was doing fine. If she was fine, then by default, Tony had to be fine as well.

"Oh, I'm doing great," Tony interrupted obnoxiously. "Yeah, I was in a coma, and had some crazy locked in syndrome or other but besides that, I'm just great, you know? Not like I almost had a near death experience or anything-"

"He's a little snappy today," Pepper warned him quietly.

Rhodey laughed. "I can tell. But he seems okay."

"_He_ is right here," Tony emphasized, annoyed.

"Yeah, he's doing fine," Pepper confirmed.

"Yeah, you _wouldn't_ know, Rhodey," Tony interrupted again. "I haven't exactly received any flowers or chocolates from you, I mean, where have _you_ been?"

Pepper turned to glare at Tony but Rhodey made a face behind her back. A face that clearly said, _I'll tell you later_. Tony caught the look and said nothing else.

"Hey, speaking of near death experiences, hospitalizations and what-not," Rhodey said instead. "I heard your doctor was a real character."

"You know, I never got to meet the guy in person…you know, consciously and all," Tony said. "He just disappeared a day later."

"He works in New Jersey, remember?" Pepper reminded him. "He was only in town to take care of a few personal things and he's off."

"His flight leaves in a few hours," Tony said and immediately Rhodey and Pepper stared at him.

"How do _you_ know that?" Rhodey asked.

Tony turned his nose up. "It's my business to know _everyone's_ business."

Rhodey shrugged, not too interested. And Pepper announced, "I'm going to get something to eat, does anyone want anything?"

Tony and Rhodey politely declined and Pepper left the room to find a meal. As soon as the doors closed behind her, Tony said, "What's up?" Obviously there was something wrong – Tony could sense it right as he walked in.

Rhodey exhaled. "Justin Hammer…isn't in prison."

Tony nearly blacked out right there – his body wasn't used to sudden shocks and surprises anymore. "What?"

"I don't know," Rhodey said, shrugging. "That's why I haven't been in, he broke out – it's been a big case-"

"Why don't I already know about this? Or why doesn't anyone _else_ know about this?"

"It hasn't leaked yet. Everyone's keeping it quiet."

"Do you know how he got out?" Tony asked, practically begging for details. _How did he escape? And more importantly, who helped him and what's in it for them?_

"There was an explosion near his cell which took out most of the cameras. Everyone's mostly going by what the inmates are saying and a few of the guards – but it looks like an inside job – one of the guards or at least multiple had to be in on it."

"Alright," Tony thought to himself. News like this wasn't good for multiple reasons – professional and personal. Professional because it practically nullified any deal Stark Industries was making with Hammer and the paperwork that followed was going to be a giant pain in the ass. Personally, because he knew Pepper was somewhere on Hammer's "to-do" list. And that's what worried Tony the most.

"Pepper's going to-"

"Don't tell Pepper," Tony quickly interrupted.

"Tony, this concerns her too. Not only as your girlfriend, but because she's part of the company."

_Damn it_. He had a point. Stark Industries would find out soon afterwards and almost immediately following, the press would be in on it. This was impossible to hide. "I'll tell her myself."

Rhodey nodded skeptically, knowing quite well that most likely wasn't what Tony had in mind. "Just…don't do anything stupid again," Rhodey warned him.

"In my defense, _this_," he pointed around him as if to say 'this entire situation'. "This was _not_ my fault."

"I'm not talking about just this. I'm saying in general…you always do stupid stuff."

Tony nodded to himself and rolled his eyes. Couldn't argue with that.

* * *

House was not exactly a happy camper at the moment.

As a matter of fact, he was _never_ a happy camper. More like a narcissistic pain in the ass who derived joy from other people's misery and misfortune. And the fact that his flight had been canceled wasn't exactly about to brighten his day. And then the attendant at the station had given him a piece of paper with a particular gate, saying that his plane was waiting at a new and specific gate.

Scavenger hunts with a guy who used a cane. Imagine the joy.

House reluctantly made his way towards the general direction but found it impossible to find the right gate. Finally, he asked a flight attendant who was about to switch flights for another shift. To his surprise, the flight attendant smiled a little and raised an eyebrow. "You Dr. House?" she asked, her lip curling to form a half-smile. House confirmed suspiciously and the flight attendant smiled broadly. "I'm going over there now – I'll take you there."

_Finally, progress_. Still, he didn't like being out of the loop and he reluctantly followed the flight attendant toward the gate. Yet, the further down they went, House quickly realized they weren't going towards a public gate, but a private hangar. Just before the flight attendant opened the door, House quickly announced. "Whatever the hell you have planned, I'm not paying for."

"It's already paid for," the flight attendant told him with a wink just as the doors opened and the blinding light flooded both of their eyes. Once he had suggested, House had to remind himself _not_ to keep his mouth open. A 737-800 with a single identifying phrase on the side: _Stark Industries_.

"Holy shit-" House muttered. He was about to let loose another dozen profanities but he was interrupted.

"Tony told me to give you this," the attendant said handing him a note. House cautiously accepted it and read it where he was.

_Too bad that you had to leave before I could personally say thanks. Tell your boss she's annoying and that she should give you a break. The attendants are particularly lenient and serving if you catch my drift. But you didn't hear it from me. And I refuse to be held responsible for anything that happens in that plane. _

_Enjoy the flight and knock yourself out._

_-Tony_

House twisted his lip to the side and glanced at the plane, then turned to the flight attendant who seemed to even have an even _more_ devious grin on her face. "Shall we?" she asked.

House laughed once to himself and thought for a moment. "God, I love this guy," he muttered to himself before making his way toward the plane.

**Lol – extrapolate from there. And House has now officially left the scene so BA BYE! UNTIL THE SEPTEMBER SEASON PREMIERE! OMGGGG! **

**But enough of that – I know this was a long wait, but hey, it was a long chapter, no? I just had so much crap to do. Please read and review! :) I LOVE YOU ALLL!**

**House's exit was inspired by Marie Nomad's PM :)**

**OH! And I have one more question - I was thinking about just mentioning that this fic has a 3-4 chapter crossover sequence in the story summary. Do you guys think that's ok or should I actually label this fic as a crossover? I will tell you this: I have well over a dozen chapters planned so we're not even close to finishing this up. And no more crossover type characters will be coming in. So...should I label this as a crossover or just mention it in the summary? You guys tell me.**

**And again - REVIEW! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

By the end of the week, Tony was sure he would never fear paperwork again – the amount of signatures the hospital had demanded were enough to paralyze his fingers as well as his legs, and when he had finally signed off on the last document, he felt eternally grateful as well as annoyed. Why did these people need so many signatures anyway? They had probably messed something up and were now trying to cover their ass…or maybe he was just being paranoid. At least, that was Pepper's excuse.

"I've never signed so many papers in my entire life," Tony whined as Pepper gathered his things.

"Of course you haven't – I've been forced to forge them all along," she said, rolling her eyes.

Tony blinked. "Seriously?"

Pepper said nothing and for a moment, Tony wasn't sure if he was kidding. Finally, Pepper laughed and said, "It was a joke, Tony. I've never forged your signature."

"Hmm," he hummed to himself, still unconvinced. But he dropped the subject, eyeing her suspiciously. Just as he did, a nurse walked in, all smiles and asked, "Ready to go."

_I've never been more ready in my entire life_, he thought to himself, but he said nothing, still eyeing Pepper. Pepper pretended not to notice his glare and instead looked at him thoughtfully. "Ready?" she asked, finally at ease knowing that they were leaving a nightmare behind.

"Hmm," he hummed again, and he turned up his nose as if to say he was done with this non-conversation. Pepper rolled her eyes and stood behind the wheelchair, ready to hold the handles but Tony quickly wheeled himself out of her reach.

"I got it," he assured her, taking care of himself.

Pepper raised up both hands as if in surrender and instead walked beside him. It hadn't taken her long to realize just how defensive he could get when it came to the wheelchair. He hated not being able to take care of himself in the simplest ways and sometimes, he would wait for as long as possible before asking for help to do anything. Pepper had brushed it aside as his ego taking a hit but later, she had realized being unable to do the simple things made him feel inadequate. And because of that, she left the subject alone.

Tony and Pepper could hear the press before the front hospital doors even opened.

"Jesus Christ," Pepper murmured to herself as the two of them approached the doors.

"Just think how excited they would have been if I had _actually_ died."

"Tony-"

"Just kidding," Tony said quickly, wincing. Pepper tried not to take his words to heart though, in all honesty, she still contemplated that same statement. What _would_ she have done if things hadn't turned out like this?

"Ready?" Pepper asked, trying to push those thoughts out of her mind. Now was a time to be relieved, to be glad that he was fine. Not to ponder the what ifs.

"Are you?" he asked instead, smiling crookedly up at her.

"Do I have a choice?" Pepper retorted as the automatic doors slid open for them.

"Oh, shit," Tony muttered as he wheeled himself out.

_Mr. Stark, what was the final diagnosis?_

_Is your health still compromised?_

_Is being Iron Man compromising your health and well being?_

_How soon will you be returning to Stark Industries?_

_Are you currently dating your personal assistant?_

Tony had to roll his eyes at that one. You could easily tell which reporters worked for the New York Times and which ones worked for _Seventeen_.

He was actually about to answer a particularly nosy question with a snide and sarcastic remark but just as his mouth opened, Pepper pinched him from behind, her hands on the rests of the wheelchair, as if to say, _Watch it, Mister._

And for a full five and a half meters, he _did_ watch his mouth and kept perfectly silent. But there was one question in particular that really pushed him over the edge. Granted, it didn't take much to get his mouth moving but he felt justified in taking care of this particular remark.

_Mr. Stark, are the rumors concerning the woman you slept with the night before your admittance to Santa Monica hospital true?_

Tony knew exactly who it was before he saw her face.

"Didn't anyone teach you to not believe _everything_ you read in the papers?" Tony said offhandedly with a roll of his eyes.

Tony had replied; and even though it was just sarcastic banter, it was all the reassurance Christine Everhart needed; like an unannounced but implied invitation. She immediately followed him.

"So it's true then?" Christine asked, a haughty glimmer in her eyes as she glanced casually at Pepper; a look that clearly said, 'Well, what do you know?'.

"What is?" Tony asked just next to the car now.

"That other woman you slept with the night before you were admitted."

Tony _actually_ looked shocked. "Oh, you were serious?"

Now it was Christine's turn to be shocked – she hadn't expected that. Denial, a funny joke or backhand comment maybe, but not pure ignorance.

"Christine, I can't help but wonder where you get half of your information. Here, can you hold this for me?" he raised up an opaque, plastic bag.

"Uhm-" But before she could reject it, he had tossed it into her hand, forcing her to catch it. Pepper tried not to laugh as she went back towards the other side of the car.

"What's in here?" Christine asked, staring at the bag.

Tony smiled broadly and winked. "Laundry," he said simply. He opened the car door and slid into the seat, sure to do it as quickly as possible before Pepper could make him stop. As soon as he was inside, he looked back up at her. "I'll take that now."

Christine looked beyond disgusted as she handed it back but Tony pretended not to notice. "Thanks – I'll see you…whenever you have your next opportunity to stalk me arises, yeah? Honestly, if I didn't know any better I'd think you _actually_ like me." And with that, he shut the door behind him just as Happy folded up the wheelchair.

"That was pushing it," Pepper told him just as the door shut. She was sitting next to him, already examining a stack of papers, no doubt from Stark Industries.

"Christine or me getting out of the wheelchair?"

"What about getting out of the wheelchair?" Pepper asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Nothing," Tony quickly said. "What about Christine?"

Pepper rolled her eyes but said nothing.

"Admit it – I did a pretty decent job taking care of her. And the laundry was a nice touch."

Pepper cracked a smile at that one. _You're not supposed to encourage him,_ she thought to herself but it was nearly impossible to not laugh at what Tony had decided to pull off.

"That's what I thought," Tony said, watching her smile as Happy finally pulled out of the driveway and towards home.

* * *

Coming home was more frightening than either of them had imagined.

Pepper had stopped by the day before to do a little cleaning up and when she had, she had almost broken down completely. Her clothes were still on the floor, the fire in the fireplace had died long ago but a few charred pieces of the letter she had burned remained. The lights were on, JARVIS was still offline. Nothing had changed, yet _everything_ had changed. That day, Pepper had put her stuff away and picked up the pieces of the burned letter – that had been the hardest part for her. And she had spent a few minutes composing herself at home before going back to the hospital so that the brave face she put on would look convincing enough.

And now that the two of them were home, Pepper found it almost impossible to keep that brave face on. Instead, she saw memories pass her by. When she had burned his letter and where she had sat down – to the left of the fireplace. And there, by the door, she had pushed him out of her way and packed her clothes. And just behind where they were now, she had told him that she didn't love him.

Why was it so difficult to let go of those memories? Why did they repeatedly haunt her?

The same memories haunted him as well, but he did a better job of hiding his emotions. But instead, what really stuck with him was that nothing looked the same as it did that night – she had cleaned up before he came, she must have. And that only made him wonder and try and remember what that night had looked like, _felt_ like.

"Are you hungry?" Pepper asked, making her way towards the kitchen.

"I think you've asked me that four times in the last hour," Tony told her as he wheeled his way around.

"Because you keep giving me the same answer."

"Because, I'm not hungry."

"Well I am," Pepper told him. "I'm going to make a sandwich – and don't expect me to share."

"Yeah, yeah," Tony said, rolling his eyes. He was _so_ going to end up stealing a fair share of her food. Though he supposed "stealing" didn't exactly make it fair. "I'll be in the shop," he announced as he left.

Pepper laughed to herself – of course he'd go down to the shop. After two weeks without JARVIS, he was probably about to break down. And now he had come home and JARVIS was offline – the world wouldn't be right again until he heard the artificial voice of his AI.

And of course, Pepper was correct in guessing Tony's motives. The first thing he did once in the shop was make sure JARVIS was online.

"JARVIS, you there?" he checked.

_For you sir, always._

"Liar – I came home today and you were offline."

_If I recall correctly—_

"Ha ha," Tony said dryly, rolling his eyes. Of course he recalled correctly – he was a computer.

_If I recall correctly, _JARVIS continued anyway. _I was offline under your instruction – the suit was compromised and you programmed me to go offline whenever this happens._

"Holy, shit – where's the suit?"

_Under Colonel James Rhodey's care. But the suit is still offline._

"Oh, good – well, apparently you are useful."

_Says the person who can't unlock the front door without my help._

"I don't recall programming 'sassy' into your hard drive."

_Sir, you have over two thousand unread messages._

"Are you trying to change the subject?"

_The messages, Sir_?

Tony frowned at his AI. Someone was getting cranky. "Delete them."

_All of them?_

"Well, keep the ones that look important. Use your imagination."

_Very comical._

Tony laughed as he pulled up a few screens on his computers. The suits, work, any hidden information about Hammer – in less than five minutes all of the screens were up and running.

But just a few minutes later, Pepper made her way downstairs, two halves of a sandwich in both of her hands. Immediately, Tony shut down any screen that even mentioned Hammer but kept everything else up.

"Is all right in the world now that JARVIS is up?" Pepper asked, standing behind him.

"Why does everyone think I'm so dependent on JARVIS?"

Pepper eyed him, turning her lip as if to say, _Is that a question?_

Tony eyed her back but then noticed the sandwich in her hand and realized that suddenly, he was _very_ hungry.

"Yeah, I thought so," Pepper said, recognizing the look on his face as she threw one half of the sandwich on the table. "Is it really so difficult to just _say_ you're hungry? I asked you. A lot."

"I didn't think I was hungry."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she instructed.

"Mmm!" Tony murmured angrily at the chastisement.

She laughed, messing up his hair and throwing the second half of the sandwich on the table.

"Both for me?" Tony asked, just as he swallowed the last bite of the first half.

"I _made_ it for you, genius. I knew you'd be hungry."

"Mm – you know me well."

"Give me some credit," Pepper said, about to leave. "I'll be back in about half an hour, alright?"

"Where are you going?" Tony asked, suddenly interested. He even ignored the sandwich.

Pepper watched him suspiciously. "Why…?"

"I'm just wondering," Tony asked, but instead of having a devious, scheming or simply playful look on his face – he looked completely and totally serious. And just for that reason alone, Pepper chose to answer.

"I'm going grocery shopping, Tony."

"Where?"

Pepper laughed, unable to believe what she was hearing. Since when did he care where, when, or why she went anywhere? "Is there a problem?"

Tony misinterpreted her remark as annoyed as opposed to simply amused and he immediately he backed up. "Never mind," he said, messing with his computers again.

Pepper did a mental backpedal. This was weird – Tony never asked a question and then let it slide for no reason. In fact, he never let an unanswered question slide for any reason at all. And not only that, but he was actually _trying_ to not offend her.

What was happening? Was he trying harder not to hurt her? Had the recent events gotten to him so badly that he watched everything he said around her so she wouldn't leave? This wasn't the man she had fallen in love with – she loved Tony because of how abrupt and spontaneous he was, because he didn't give a damn what you thought and you were forced to love him for who he was – take it or leave it. But now it was like he was censoring himself. And she didn't want that.

"No, it's not _never mind_, it's never '_never mind'_, not with you," Pepper said, refusing to go anywhere. And just to prove her point, she sat down opposite him. She wasn't leaving until she received an answer, or at least an explanation.

"What?" he asked, glancing at her, as he worked.

"I mean, I want to know why you're asking these questions. Why does it matter where I'm going?"

Tony shrugged, trying desperately to drop the subject. "Nothing. You can go if you want." After a moment, he closed his eyes and winced. He looked at her with a relatively sheepish look on his face. "I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"That's the problem!" Pepper exclaimed, frustrated.

"I don't have a problem," Tony denied.

"No, that's what I'm trying to say-"

"You haven't said anything-"

"Will you let me finish?"

"Sorry."

"See, that's what I mean!"

Tony opened his mouth about to say something, but then changed his mind and closed it again.

Pepper sighed. "It's like…you're censoring yourself around me," she admitted.

"I'm _what_?" Tony asked, finally ignoring what he was doing completely to look at her.

Pepper fumbled for the words for a moment. "I mean…I feel like you're not saying your mind in front of me, that you're bottling stuff up…and I don't want you to do that…I don't know if it's because of…all the things that have happened in the last couple weeks, but it's like you keep everything to yourself and you don't tell me what you're thinking anymore. It's just…you've never told me "never mind" once you ask me a question but now-"

"Alright," Tony said. "Calm down-" She knew. She knew about Hammer and now she was angry he was keeping it a secret.

"I just don't like it-"

"No, it's my fault, I'm sorry, I should have told you-"

That got her attention. "Told me what?" she asked suddenly.

_Shit_. She didn't know. He rolled his eyes, silently kicking himself, and hesitantly tried, "Never mind?"

"Tony…" she warned. She was relieved that there truly was a reason he was remaining so elusive, but now she was worried about what that reason was.

"Pepper," Tony started slowly. "Um…Rhodey…stopped by a couple days ago, to tell me…that Justin Hammer escaped from prison."

Her heart hit her throat and immediately, she worried for Tony – any other day, she wouldn't have been so concerned but he wasn't at his best right now. He was still tired and weak, still recovering. Then, in almost an instant, annoyance hit her and she was equally pissed as she was concerned. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Tony stared at her blankly and raised up his hands as if in surrender. "Are you listening to me? I'm trying to tell you that a guy, who threatened you broke out of prison. And you're more angry that I didn't tell you."

Pepper sighed loudly. "I just thought we would have passed this 'hiding things from me' stage a while ago."

Damn – she really knew how to kick him where it hurt. "Sorry, I know should have told you earlier," he blubbered quickly. "But, in my defense, I was planning on telling you eventually."

"Tony-"

"You were going to find out, I wasn't going to keep it a secret forever."

"Tony, why do you always hide things from me?"

He hadn't expected that. "What?"

"You always hide things from me. _Important_ things. Not things about business, or about Stark Industries, but things about _you_. You wait for me to find out at the worst possible time and-"

"But I told you now-"

"Only because I dragged it out of you by accident. You would've kept this a secret from me for days if not weeks, and you know it. Why?"

He sighed to himself. "Isn't it obvious why?" he asked, completely serious – all joking now aside.

Again, Pepper hadn't expected an answer like that, and for the first time she was silenced, waiting for him to answer his own question.

"I worry about you," he told her, bending his head slightly to watch her expression. "I worry about…how much _you_ worry. You get migraines when you think too much,"

"I don't'-"

"You do," Tony quickly interrupted. "And you're always worrying about everything anyway – you worry about the company, about me doing something stupid, about Iron Man, why would I want to add something else, despite how insignificant it might seem?"

"Justin Hammer isn't insignificant," Pepper argued. "And neither is dying of palladium poisoning."

He shrugged at that, sighing, as if to say he had no answer to that one. "I guess I always forget about what will happen if and when you find out."

"So why do you still keep it a secret?" Pepper asked, honestly trying to understand. "Why do you choose to not tell me something now only for me to find out later when the problem is completely out of hand?"

"Because…" he said slowly. "Because it's so much easier to make the decision to not let you worry now, than it is to think about how much you could end up worrying later."

Pepper exhaled deeply, understanding where he was coming from, and hating herself for understanding. She wanted to _know_ what was going and when. She didn't like him hiding things from her just for the sake of a migraine. But she knew that if she was ever in his shoes, she'd probably do the same. But they couldn't go on like this – hiding things from each other even if it was out of pure intentions. "We can't continue like this," she told him solemnly. "We need to tell each other the truth, despite how difficult it might be…"

"I know," he said, taking her hand. "I know, and I'm sorry, I'll tell you next time."

She laughed dryly, completely unconvinced. "You always tell me that."

"I know," he said. "And I'm still sorry."

She nodded and inhaled quickly. "So, is that what all this is, then?" she asked, peering over his shoulder to look at the computer screen. "Is that what you've been hiding?"

"Rhodey's probably going to come over in a couple days with the security tape," Tony told her. "Best camera shot but after a while everything's just too blurry and the connection isn't great. JARVIS is going to take a look and see what he can find."

"Alright," she said, standing up. "And I want to be here when you're looking through it."

"Pepper…"

"That's it," she warned him. "I want to be here when you look at the tape. I deserve to know."

"Fine," he agreed. "Just…be careful when you go out."

Pepper smiled and kissed his cheek before backing up to leave. "I'll be fine, Tony. Don't blow up the building while I'm out."

"No promises," Tony answered, smiling to himself as he watched her leave.

* * *

"What about the arc reactor?"

"What about it?"

"We're going to have to tell him what happened – we're not qualified in that field if something goes wrong and it's our fault-"

"We did our job – we took care of the problem-"

"Actually, _technically_, it was that Dr. House character who-"

"It was under this roof, under Santa Monica hospital. We get the brunt of the blow so we claim the credit. The problem's been taken care of. We're not inclined to do anything else."

"But if something happens to the reactor-"

"He should already have symptoms by now – chest pain, weakness, we would have noticed. Or he would have said something. Mr. Stark hasn't complained about anything yet, so we're in the clear."

"But the MRI-"

"The intern hadn't even started the MRI – and it technically wasn't his fault – he hadn't seen the reactor – the gowns and blankets covered it."

"Yeah, well 'it was an accident' isn't going to pay for the lawsuit if something _does_ go wrong."

"Which is why we say nothing."

"But at least the DA should-"

"If you want to lose your job, go ahead, but there's no point. No harm, no foul. Mr. Stark is fine now and he's going to _stay_ fine. End of discussion."


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the long wait. HERE WE GO! PLZ excuse typos.**

**Chapter 15**

As soon as he was out of the wheelchair – he was going to light a bonfire and watch it burn.

The only problem was that it had only been two days, which meant he still had a little less than two weeks to stick with it. Though he was three hundred percent sure that he was going to kick the stupid contraption to the curb in a little less than five days. There was no way in hell anyone was going to make him stay in it for so long.

Still, one thing in particular continued to worry him.

He had just gotten out of the hospital and whenever he did anything even slightly strenuous or tiring, his pulse and blood pressure skyrocketed and immediately the pain took over. It felt like someone was poking a needle inside him and moving his heart around. Sometimes it was just a light pinching sensation, and other times he wanted to collapse.

So for the last two days, he'd been using a weaker form of adenosine to deal with the problem. Of course, it was probably more efficient and less dangerous to just see a doctor but deep in his gut, Tony knew doctors had caused the problem to begin with – so he wasn't entirely eager to consult one willingly. Still, if the problem persisted for too long, he knew he wouldn't have much of a choice.

Pepper hadn't noticed anything was out of the ordinary. But that was probably due to the fact that they always seemed to be on edge. Since he had come back, everything had been tense – and it had been the one thing he feared. People talked about how trying times brought you together – and a few months ago it had. But this time, it seemed to be doing the opposite. They were growing apart.

She worried more and he'd get ticked off easily. They were both frustrated, both restless – and it was because of the wheelchair.

There was that one time he had gone down to his workshop using the stairs. In retrospect, it probably wasn't a very smart idea to do it with her in the house but he'd seen it once on TV and just _had_ to try it. He had gotten to the bottom in perfect condition but not before Pepper he found out he was wheeling himself down a flight of stairs, balanced on the two back wheels. She had freaked, he had told her to stop whining and just like that they were at each other.

Usually, a stunt like that would have been blown off. "Why are you doing that?" "Because I thought it would be cool." Roll of her eyes, a smirk on his lips and end of discussion. Now these two seconds disagreements and moments of disapproval turned into arguments. "Why are you always worrying so much? I can get downstairs without you watching over my back." "Of course you can, Tony." "What's that supposed to mean? I can take care of myself." "I didn't say anything." "But that's what you're thinking." "Does it matter what I'm thinking? Besides, when you pull of stupid things like that I think I have the right to get angry."

Stupid things. He was restless, he was bored – and his pride was always taking a hit. She was tired, exhausted, and insulted whenever he told her to keep herself busy or find something else to do than watch what he was doing 24/7. "You don't trust me, that's why." He said that once – but at that point, Pepper had dropped it and left.

But at the same time, it wasn't always like that. There was the playful banter, the jokes and the smiles. They'd talk while he worked on the hot rod, the normalcy was still there. Yet when the mood broke, and the disagreements came in, the tension was inextinguishable.

"I think your mom likes me," Tony said with a mischievous smirk as they ate lunch in the living room. Pepper was eating on the couch, the television on but on mute.

"Trust me," Pepper told him with a smile as she ate. "You're going to have to try a lot harder than jewelry complements if you want her approval."

"You make it sound impossible."

"It's not – I just hope you have other plans."

"Of course I do."

Pepper smiled to herself, obviously doubting him but said nothing. Tony continued to eat, contemplating whether or not to ask his next question. Of course, he had every reason to ask but for some reason, he felt as if it wasn't his place – after all, she had never brought it up. But maybe she was waiting for him to bring it up…Oh, what the hell…

He exhaled sharply. "So…will I be meeting your father anytime soon?"

"No, you won't," Pepper answered without missing a beat. She continued to eat but didn't look up at him.

_Okay_…She was practically begging for the next question and Tony took the bait, not sure what he was getting himself into. "Why not?"

"For the same reason I won't be meeting yours," she said quietly. But this time she met his eyes with a sad but hopeful look in her eyes.

_Oops. _"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she told him. "I hate him."

Tony wasn't sure he had heard correctly. She _hated_ him? Pepper didn't _hate_…well, she hated Christine Everhart but that hardly counted. And for Pepper to feel so strongly _against_ a person, especially her father…she had to have multiple validations. Until that moment, he didn't think it was even physically possible for her to _actually_ hate someone.

And, of course, before he could stop himself, he asked the unavoidable question, "Why?"

Pepper opened her mouth to say something but quickly changed her mind, keeping her eyes downcast.

"It's none of my business," Tony quickly mended, feeling like an idiot.

"No, it's fine, I just-"

"I shouldn't have-"

"I want to," she finally said. She clasped her hands together and placed her hands next to her mouth in contemplation. For a few moments she didn't say anything and Tony thought she had changed her mind – maybe she _didn't_ want to talk about it. And that was fine by him. Later on, when she wanted to talk, she would.

She exhaled sharply and twisted her lip to the side. "Um…my dad, he…he died when I was fourteen…of liver failure."

Naturally, Tony didn't understand why death made you hate a person – usually it did the opposite, or at least made you feel pitiful or guilt ridden. Neither of which were even remotely related to hatred. "Oh?" he asked, focusing all his attention on her.

She nodded, but she didn't look at him. Instead, she stared off into space, unable to meet his eyes as she finally explained. "He, uh…he was always drinking…and he drank himself into oblivion," she finally decided. "Wakes up one morning jaundiced and they tell him his liver's shot. Doesn't qualify for a transplant because he's an alcoholic and dies two days later." She paused, remembering and shrugged haphazardly. "Just like that."

_Oh, perfect._ Now what he had just gotten himself into? He usually didn't feel…oh, what was the word? Awkward. Awkwardness was more of a concept somewhere out there in the universe, apparently experienced by everyone but himself. But what he felt now was light years beyond awkward – disgust? Fear? Fear for her but disgust toward himself.

She hated her father –she had just said that. And here Tony was, known for how many martinis he could down in an hour. What was that supposed to mean, or more importantly, what was _she_ trying to tell _him_?

Psh – he was _so_ not an alcoholic…right?

Tony cleared his throat. "So you hated him...because he drank..."

"I didn't hate him at all," she said.

"But you _just_ said-"

"I hated him afterwards," she admitted. "After he died, I hated him…because he killed himself. He could have stopped, or done something about it, or gotten help...it could have been avoided. It didn't have to happen – and instead he died."

A single question plagued his mind, but he knew now wasn't the time to ask.

Yes it was.

No, it wasn't.

She had shared this much, and it was enough. And it was enough to make him at least think about what she had already said and what that meant to him.

Okay, so he always _knew_ his drinking annoyed the hell out of her, but he had casually shrugged it off as her worrying too much. But now it was as if an entirely different view had opened up for him. It affected her because of her own experiences. And he hated himself for being the one to have brought those memories back time and time again.

Tony's silence to Pepper was proof that she had already said too much and she bit the inside of her mouth. _I'm an idiot. _She stood up slowly. "I'm…I'm going to-"

"No, wait, Pepper," Tony stopped her, unable to _not_ ask his question. He shook his head, as if unable to understand. "If you…hate it so much, then what about me?"

Pepper shook her head. "I don't-"

"Why are you still with me?" he blatantly asked, sure he was crossing lines. He was crossing _galaxies_ not just lines anymore. "How am I any different; why do you willingly watch me do the same?"

She just looked at him for a while and for a moment, Tony feared there was no answer. Finally, she slowly sat back down. "Because…I don't…_want_ you to end up the same way. Tony, I love you and everything, but sometimes, when it comes to you and your drinking I want to just let it go. But I _can't_ because I'm scared." She paused for a moment and closed her eyes to take a second to exhale. "When I first started working for you…" She laughed and waved her hand as if to dismiss that topic. "I had already heard about you…and drinking, but I thought I could handle it. But that first night you came home drunk? I wasn't so sure I could handle it and I started to look for other places to work." She smiled here, remembering. "But then I started to _love_ just working for you, that things weren't monotonous or boring, things were interesting. Not just work but you as a person and I liked it so I thought I'd stick it out. And then I started caring…about you…and after that…when you would come home drunk…I'd start to worry. About you, because even then, I liked you. And I didn't want to see you hurt and I didn't want anything bad to happen to you. So I stayed."

"You stayed….because I was a charity case?" He wasn't offended. Actually, he wasn't sure if he should feel offended. But either way it still hurt to know that.

"No!" Pepper quickly refuted. _Doesn't he listen to anything I say? Him and his selective hearing. _"I stayed _because_ I liked _you_ and I didn't want to see you hurt. I wanted to work with you, I loved working for you, but you and drinking was a harsh downside that made me reconsider. But I chose to stay anyway."

"So you stayed to watch me to make sure I didn't top myself?"

"Will you stop it?" Pepper asked, frustration building. "I worry about you. _Because_ I love you and I don't want you to do something stupid. Is that bad, Tony? Is it really that bad that I worry?"

"If it's about something completely avoidable, then, yes, it is bad. For me," he admitted. "Making you worry like that…I don't want to be the one who does that. I didn't know that I was…no, I _knew_ that it worried but I didn't think it was that bad and now that you told me-"

"It's fine."

"No, it's not fine!" Tony argued. "It's everything _but_ fine."

"But you-"

"We've never talked about it," Tony interrupted suddenly.

Pepper backtracked. "What?"

"This. Me – drinking," Tony clarified. "We've never actually talked about it."

"You brought it up."

"Technically, you did."

"But you brought up my dad and-"

"It's not a bad thing…I'm just pointing out that it's something we've never actually discussed. Or talked about. Or agreed on. Or just…_talked_."

"You always knew how I felt about it," Pepper reminded him.

"But that was before-"

"Before what, Tony?" Pepper said, suddenly growing angry. "Before I told you a traumatizing story about alcoholics and my experiences? Do you honestly _need_ me to tell you a traumatizing story before you take anything I say or think seriously?"

She was speaking out of frustration and anger, but she had a point. And what hurt the most was that she was right. Why _did_ he choose to do nothing about it after all this time? Just because she hadn't physically _said _something about it? It was obvious his drinking bugged her, so why did he need tangible proof?

He could try harder. He thought about it sometimes – if he was really pushing the edge of "tipsy". He knew she didn't approve, that it _did_ worry her but it was just a passing thought and he'd toss it aside – and down another Scotch or two…or six.

But hell, he _did_ try. And he _did_ care and maybe he did just need to try harder.

But instead of saying any of that out loud – he took the defensive position. "I don't drink as often anymore," he said childishly.

Pepper frowned and rolled her eyes, laughing dryly. "Oh, like hell, Tony."

Her anger fueled his defense and almost immediately, his own frustration was pouring through his own tone. "That last benefit or whatever – I didn't drink as much."

"You didn't stop downing martini after martini even _after_ I told you to stop."

"Scotch," Tony corrected. "_But_ I wasn't drunk."

"What's your point?" Pepper asked, hardly believing this.

"It wasn't until I got dosed that I was really out of it, which, as we've already established, wasn't my fault!"

"I _thought_ it was," Pepper brought up, raising her voice. "I thought you were drunk and that it was your fault, and do you want to know why? Because you are _always drinking_. It's completely normal for you to leave a party not knowing which way is up because that's you. But maybe if you had taken anything I had said seriously over the years, or just the last few months, or even cared that I was scared out of my mind when you picked up a glass for the ninth time that night, you know - maybe I _wouldn't_ have gotten angry that night-"

"You're saying that night was my fault."

She hesitated. "I'm not saying that."

"That's what it sounds like," Tony refuted irritably.

"You knew it worried me, I let you know it worried me but it hasn't made a difference. What the hell did honestly expect me to think that night?"

"That maybe you've been paying attention!"

"To what, Tony?"

"That I am _trying_," he told her and for the first time, Pepper was silenced. "I am _trying_ to hold up but you don't notice and I understand that it's not good enough for you right now but is it really that hard for you to at least just _give me a chance_?"

The two of them stared at each other, neither of them one hundred percent sure how they had gotten to that point. What were they doing? What had happened? What had changed?

Heavy silence – there were no words left to say at this point. Pepper propped her elbow on headrest of the couch, resting her face in her hand. She looked away and sighed.

"I'll be in the shop," Tony announced before leaving Pepper alone. She didn't even look up.

What was she _doing_? Why was she arguing like that? And over what? How had it even started? He had asked about her father, and she had told him…and she had chosen to use that information as a tool against him. Pepper never intended to that, but things seemed to roll downhill faster and faster.

He cared – that was what was important. She knew with all her heart that he cared, and that he would go to the ends of the earth for her. And in all honesty, ever since they had chosen to try a relationship, he _had_ been trying. Changing, even – for her. He didn't miss meetings as often, didn't make her life and schedule so difficult, was becoming more responsible (if it could even be called that).

And he didn't drink as often. In all honesty, in his defense, he really didn't.

Why was it she realized that now? When was the last time he had really drowned himself past the point of reason? Nowhere within the last few months even. Did he still drink? Yes. A lot? Of course. But he _was_ making that effort and here she was, accusing him of not caring. Of not trying.

It wasn't physically possible for him to just _not_ care. These last few weeks proved that. So why did she say those things? Anger? Frustration? Vulnerability, even? Or was it just pure panic? Panic that what had happened to her father would one day happen to him, and the knowledge that she wouldn't be able to handle it? Or was it that the thought was too overwhelming on its own?

What she had said and done wasn't fair, and in the heat of anger, she had said all of it anyway.

* * *

It wasn't until he got down the shop he realized just how screwed he was – for more than one reason.

His chest hurt again – worse than ever before. As he flexed his fingers and injected himself with the adenosine, he couldn't help but think that she had been right all along. She _did_ think what had happened that night was his fault – that his drinking had been involved. But in a circuitous way – rather than being directly involved, he was indirectly responsible. If he _wasn't_ known for his drinking, she wouldn't have suspected alcohol had been an issue to begin with – she wouldn't have used it as an excuse.

Who cared if he was trying – he wasn't good enough. Not for her. He never would be. She deserved someone who knew that four glasses of Scotch was enough for one night. Someone that could say no after the bartender offered a seventh martini. He wasn't that guy. Not yet. Maybe if he _actually_ worked at it he'd get there (or at least close).

She was right – in every way, shape and form. She was right that he had never made a _real_ effort to ease up on the alcohol when surrounded by it even though he knew just how much it scared the hell out of her when he came home and couldn't remember his middle name. He did care, he knew he did – but didn't he care enough to at least try harder? Given the chance, he could be better – for her.

He tossed the empty syringe aside and undid the rubber band around his arm. Afterwards, he sat perfectly still, waiting for his heart rate to decrease and the pang in his chest to completely disappear. He needed to see a doctor for this thing. Closing his eyes, he exhaled and inhaled deeply and slowly. Once…twice…eight times…

He felt a hand on his shoulder and Tony nearly jumped out of his skin, inhaling quickly and turning around. Immediately, his heart rate jumped. _So much for that_, he thought as the pain returned, but not as forcefully. He turned to see Pepper, standing behind him, her hand retracted back after realizing she had startled him. "What are you…?"

"Nothing," Tony said quickly, tossing things aside and facing the desk again. He flexed his fingers, thinking quickly, his lips set in a tight line. "Do you need something?"

He was good at that – completely switching gears on her. One second the man she had fallen in love with and the next moment, cold and calculating. He could easily keep up the persona of frustration or anger – she couldn't do it, not as well as him. Besides – it was _her_ fault he was putting up the front.

"I'm so-" Pepper tried to explain.

"No, you're not – you're right," he interrupted, refusing to make eye contact with her.

Pepper didn't say anything. The anxiety was tight and the air between them completely chilling – harsh.

She gingerly sat down beside him, not really paying attention to what he was working on. So was it going to be like this now? Pointless arguing?

"What are we doing?" Pepper whispered, not sure if she was asking herself or him.

He stopped what he was doing to look at her but said nothing.

"Tony," she pleaded.

He shrugged simply. "What do you want me to say?" he asked, as if this entire conversation was pointless.

Pepper mimicked his motion. "Why…what are we doing? Arguing like that...? We've never…we don't…"

"We're stressed," he said off handedly, trying to make an excuse; to make an excuse for _them_. Because if they were both in the wrong, then there would be a reason to keep trying, and maybe things would work out.

"Right-" Pepper agreed, looking away.

Again, a tension filled silence surrounded the two of them, and neither of them were sure what to make of it. This wasn't normal; this wasn't them. Things were changing.

* * *

"Alright, Rhodey," Tony said, taking the USB drive from him. "Let's see what you got."

"It's nothing good," Rhodey warned him as he handed the USB drive to Tony. They were all downstairs in the shop, anxiously waiting for any information they might be able to uncover concerning Hammer's escape. And even though Rhodey had already seen the file (multiple times even), he didn't think he was ready for whatever JARVIS would discover.

"JARVIS can make it good," Tony replied as he connected the USB to the hard drive. Pepper waited anxiously just above him as Tony zipped through files and firewalls, finally reaching the file.

"Ready?" Tony asked aloud, but mostly to Pepper who was standing above him. She nodded curtly and immediately, Rhodey sensed the strained rope between them but said nothing, eyeing the two of them.

"All systems go," Tony muttered to himself as the video started up.

"JARVIS, see if you can track the heat intensities."

_Already in progress_.

"Perfect." He took a sip of his coffee as the grainy footage unfolded before him.

"How can you drink anything right now?" Pepper asked, perplexed.

"It's how I cope in times of stress," Tony deadpanned, almost playfully. _Almost_ – but the joke didn't hold the same tone this time for some reason.

"What's that?" Pepper asked, pointing at the screen.

Tony transferred the image on the already large screen to an even larger one and everyone moved back a little to see the images better.

"Security guard," Rhodey answered.

Pepper nodded to herself and watched. The video showed three jail cells side by side, barred and locked. Obviously more jail cells lay past but they weren't in the field of vision. There was one security guard eating a sandwich at the end of the screen, fully visible and another just in front of the camera. You could only see his back as the rest of his body was out of the shot.

After about fifteen seconds of no real movement, the man just out of the field of vision turned around and the camera caught his face. He picked something up that looked like it was just behind him and walked towards the middle jail cell. Just as he did, the man inside the cell brought his face toward the bars and began talking. And immediately, Tony recognized him – Hammer. With a stubbly beard. Tony would have laughed had the situation been less dangerous.

There was no sound in the video but it was obvious Hammer was giving the security guard a hard time. The guard rolled his eyes and said a few things back but eventually handed Hammer whatever he had just picked up. Tony frowned when he realized what it was.

"A food tray?" Pepper asked.

"There was a bomb in it," Rhodey explained.

"You ruined the ending," Tony said, frowning.

"How do you-?"

Pepper was interrupted as the screen jumped up and down a few times and then tilted to the side slightly. Immediately, the top corner of the screen went fuzzy and it was impossible to see what was going on in that corner.

"And that's the explosion," Rhodey commentated.

The screen was even fuzzier than it had been before and it was almost impossible to keep track of what was going on.

"There!" Tony pointed out. He would have jumped had it not been for the fact that his legs still wouldn't work the way he wanted them to.

"Where?"

"JARVIS – the hollow space in the cell – mark it."

Immediately, a small rectangular like space was shaded in a dark shade of red in the background. Pepper and Rhodey leaned forward.

"A trap door," Pepper said.

"That's how he made it out – an explosion like that should have killed him first."

"Explosion was just a decoy," Tony thought aloud. "The tray also had a key – or maybe just the bomb, explosion was enough of a distraction for him to get the hell out on time. You know, I think the bomb in the food tray trick is what Hammer used to get Vanko out."

"How do you know?" Rhodey asked skeptically.

Tony had on a completely straight face. "Well…I…_borrowed_…the camera feeds. Same thing happened – except Vanko had balls and walked out the front of the jail cell."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "So what's your plan of action?" Rhodey asked as the video automatically replayed.

"Well," Tony said quickly, exiting out of the screen. "We talk to the guard. Naturally."

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I know my updates aren't very often but I had a bunch of exams this week, I'll try and update soon next time, okay? Reviews make the world go around, remember? I mean, seriously. Do you **_**really**_** want to be the one responsible for the end of the world's rotation on its axis? Always sunny/nighttime (depending on where you are)? No seasons – no days…and a bunch of other sciency stuff that equals death and destruction?**

**That's right – review or cause the death of THE WORLD…**

…

**Or you can review just to be nice because then I feel SPECIAL! And constructive criticism por favor. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Pepper woke up the next morning alone. At first, she assumed it was because Tony had woken up before her, which wouldn't have been a first; he could function on three hours of sleep. But when she noticed that the sheets beside her were intact and the pillows were untouched, she immediately knew that wasn't the case.

She immediately sat up and looked around, pulling the covers towards her. None of his clothes were strewn across the floor like they usually were; his shoes weren't in that familiar corner and the door was barely open. He hadn't even come into the room once that night.

Pepper sighed and fell backwards on top of her pillow, looking up at the ceiling. After Rhodey had left yesterday, they hadn't even talked to each other. He had locked himself up in his shop and she had stayed above ground and away from him. After that particular conversation, it felt like there were two strangers living in one house. She had even left to run a few errands and when she had come back, he was still downstairs. He hadn't even known she had left.

She hated the fighting and she couldn't stand it. She felt like she was being forced to enter a space too small for her – it wasn't natural. Arguing and fighting wasn't normal for either of them, but God knew, they knew how to drag it out. Both of them unyielding and maintaining their position. Stubbornness – that's what the problem was. They were both so stubborn, and she knew it.

So had he slept downstairs in the shop that night? She knew she should feel even a little guilty – she had practically driven him to the point of avoidance. But she couldn't help but think that he was being overly childish. Why was he throwing such an elaborate tantrum _just_ because of what had happened the day before? Quite frankly, it was just ridiculous.

She kicked the covers away and quickly rolled out of bed, determined to see just what the problem was. She checked the kitchen and living room first though deep down, she knew he was probably still in the shop in complete isolation. Once she had taken a quick glance in the rooms up on the ground floor, she sighed and began to make her way downstairs – but something caught her eye first.

Before she took the first step on the stairs, she slowly turned around to see if what she was looking at was real or just her mind playing tricks on her this early in the morning. It was real. And she was _not_ happy.

Tony's wheelchair was in the living room by the couch, as if it was part of the furniture. She sighed and closed her eyes, counting backwards from ten.

He put it there – he obviously dropped it there just to get on her nerves, knowing quite well she'd go spastic. Any other day, she would have probably just shrugged it off as Tony being Tony. But after last night…no, this entire _week_, it looked more like he was trying to prove a point.

He _was_ being childish after all.

_I'm not playing this game_, Pepper thought to herself as she made her way downstairs. It was too early to start yelling and she was not going to stoop down to his level to play. She was not in the mood.

* * *

She was also wrong.

He wasn't wallowing in self-pity, or silently hating her, or planning ways to make her life difficult. He hadn't retreated to the shop to avoid her or get some sleep away from her – in fact, he hadn't slept at all last night. Instead, he had locked himself up downstairs to get some work done.

The first thing he had done was made some adjustments to the Mark V and VI suits; the Mark VI because it had been trashed when he had crash-landed a few weeks earlier and the Mark V…well, mainly because he was bored. He still wasn't finished with the Mark VI suit since had decided to add another package of upgrades but he had a fair amount of it completed.

The second, and probably most important thing he had finished/conquered was walking.

He had unofficially ditched the wheelchair over the course of the night and now, had no problem standing on his own two feet. Of course, he knew Pepper wasn't going to be nearly as excited as he was about his accomplishment since he was supposed to be in it for another week but after their argument the day before, he was feeling particularly touchy and cocky. And as a result, he had carried his wheelchair back upstairs and left it in the living room so that when she woke up the next morning, she'd see it. But around two in the morning, he had realized just how stupid the plan was.

Why was he so eager to press her buttons? Just for the hell of ticking her off? He wasn't a sadist and he honestly hated it the most when she was so stressed out. So what was the real reason he was doing this? Tony knew the answer, even if he was unwilling to actually say it out loud: he was trying to prove a point. He was trying to prove that he could take care of himself, that there was no reason for her to worry for him, but more importantly, that he wasn't helpless.

That was the main problem with the stupid wheelchair. He felt helpless and dependent. It wasn't his nature to feel either of those emotions and for that reason, he was touchy and constantly cranky. The littlest thing could set him off because he felt like he was being stuffed into a broom closet.

He should apologize to her – for being such an ass recently. He was being difficult, and he knew it, and it wasn't fair to her. His stress was causing her stress. He was stressed, so he abandoned everything important – like all those calls from Stark Industries. He knew she would be the one taking the heat but he couldn't be bothered. It was about time he gave her a break.

Tony was standing up, thinking this to himself just as the doors to the shop opened. He was standing behind the Mark VI suit, adjusting one of the weapons on it when he peered behind it to see her. Judging by _his_ t-shirt that she was wearing and her pajama bottoms, she had just gotten out of bed. And judging by the expression on her face she wasn't happy – in fact, far from it.

"Morning," she said, relatively warmly.

_That's an interesting start, _Tony thought to himself. "You're up early," he said aloud instead.

"What time is it?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

"It's seven thirty…and it's Saturday."

She rolled her eyes. "I know what today is," she said pointedly.

"Well, I'm just pointing out that it's early, especially today."

"You know you're up early too."

He nodded to himself, a small screwdriver in the side of his mouth. "I didn't go to bed."

She was about to say something along the lines of, _So you've gone twenty four hours without sleep? That's ridiculous, stop whatever you're doing right now and get some rest,_ but that wasn't exactly how she wanted to start the morning. When he was tired, he'd go to sleep. Granted, he might fall asleep on the floor of the shop or in the bathroom but at least it was sleep.

But there was still _something_ she had to talk about. _God, Tony, why do you have to start the morning doing thirty different things you know are going to make me talk?_ "You know it's inevitable that I'm going to ask about you _not_ being in a wheelchair right now," she told him, trying to keep her tone light.

Tony winced. _Damn it_. He forgot to move the wheelchair. Tony didn't say anything for a moment – if he slipped up at what he was working on, he'd wind up blowing up the room. As soon as he was finished placing it, he told her, "I got sick of sitting in it." And then he glanced at her as if to say, _I dare you to say something about it._

Pepper caught the look, and it made her feel hated more than anything else. But for her own sake mostly, she waved her hand and shook her head, as if to let the entire subject go. She didn't want to argue; not now and certainly not this early.

"I'm going to be gone from Monday up until Friday," she announced suddenly and even Tony stopped what he was working on.

"Why?"

"There are a few meetings in New York that you won't be able to attend-"

"Why?" Tony asked again, growing restless.

"Because you will be _here_," Pepper told him warningly, her patience waning as well. "You will be here, _recovering_. And I will go to the meetings for _you_."

"I can go," Tony said, even though he really didn't want to. But that wasn't really the point right now.

"No, Tony," she said slowly. _Don't lose your patience, don't start yelling. Don't lose your patience and don't start yelling…_ "Actually you can't, and you won't. That's ridiculous."

"I'm not in the wheelchair anymore, I'm just fine-"

"You're _supposed_ to be in it. I'm just not in the mood to deal with that right now."

"Even if I was in the wheelchair still, getting there isn't a problem-"

"But being stuck in the hospital for two and half weeks as of a week and a half ago _is_ a problem. It's already been established that I'll go instead of you, it's not a big deal. In fact, you _hate_ these meetings and you always want me to go instead of you anyway. So what I don't understand is what makes this meeting so special. Why are you so desperate-"

"I'm not desperate-"

"_Adamant_," she substituted, humoring him. "Why are you so adamant that you go?"

Tony frowned, tossing the screwdriver aside. "Why didn't you tell me there was a meeting?"

Pepper was actually speechless, not entirely sure what to make of that. She stared at him for a second, looking for a hidden motivation but found none. "You're upset…that I didn't tell you there was a meeting?" she asked him. Just to make sure. His silence was answer enough. "Tony, if you _really_ wanted to know about this meeting, you'd read your emails. You make JARVIS do it for you and trash them anyway, of course you're out of the loop."

"But you didn't tell me that you'd have to leave to go this meeting. That sounds like something I'd be interested enough to hear."

"I _just_ told you."

"Yes, two days before! You didn't tell me about the meeting at _all_ which you usually do whether or not I want to hear and you didn't tell me you'd be out of town for five days."

"Well, judging by the way we've been at each other these last few days I'm surprised you're not relieved that I'm just leaving the house," she told him, ready to leave the room.

"What's that supposed to mean, why would-"

"You've been cranky and pissed off all week and you've been taking it out on me. Why _would_ I tell you where the hell I'm going, it's not like you give me the opportunity to tell you anything important since, most likely, you're just yelling at me."

"Oh, and you're completely innocent in this case?" Tony asked, aggravation rising. "If I recall correctly it's always _you_ yelling at _me_ or giving me a hard time about something I've done-"

Not now. Not this early. Not minutes after she had gotten out of bed – they couldn't be doing this now. She sighed and closed her eyes as she put up her hands as if in surrender. "Tony, can we just drop this one-?"

"No! No, we cannot just drop this one, you can't blame me for getting on your case-"

"It's too early for this-"

"-when you're usually the one chewing me into pieces!"

That did it. "Tony you jump out of a wheelchair almost a week before time and you really expect me to _not_ say something about it? But I dropped it, Tony. I dropped it because I'm sick of arguing or…or…getting on your case or whatever you want to call it. And, let's face it – we _haven't_ been on the best terms lately so maybe that's why I haven't said anything about me going out of town for two days but there's no need for you to get on a rampage-"

"Yeah, well, I deal with your 'rampages' on a daily basis and you don't see me complaining-"

"Actually, you do. All the time."

"I deal with you overreacting about everything I-"

"You're overreacting now," Pepper interrupted, forcing him to silence. "Right now. You're overreacting. And I am _tired_, Tony. I am tired of this. And quite frankly, I'm tired of _you_." And without waiting for him to reply, she opened the door the shop and left the room.

As soon as she left, Tony sat down and held his head in both of his hands, fingers in his hair. His heart was racing again and as a result, the pain in his chest was making itself known. Arguing was _physically_ hurting him now.

It was her fault. Why wouldn't she tell him she'd be out of town for five days?

_Because you're an ass!_

What the hell was he doing? And what were they arguing over what anyway? So she hadn't said anything about leaving for a few days – and why would she? It seemed like an eternity since they had had a conversation that hadn't ended up with one person leaving angrily.

This was stupid. Arguing over nothing was ridiculous. And he had no excuse to act like that. He was being an idiot.

He tried to breathe slowly and steadily to decrease his heart rate and hopefully his blood pressure but it wasn't working. He didn't want to dip back into the adenosine either, though – considering it was usually used to combat intermittent tachycardia. So as his heart pounded and his chest ached, he rested his head on his clenched fist on the table.

Fifteen minutes in that same position and he finally felt comfortable enough to stand up. Immediately, he left the workshop to find Pepper. It was about time he apologized. Properly.

But by the time he got upstairs, Pepper was fully dressed and ready to leave the house.

_Already_? He thought to himself and he checked the nearest clock. Immediately, he rolled his eyes. It hadn't been fifteen minutes…it had been half an hour. He must have fallen asleep or something.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked.

But she misinterpreted his worried tone as demanding. "I'm going to Stark Industries though I'm sure if you really want to know without asking you could just attach a chip in my neck and you'll always know where I am."

"I didn't mean it like that-"

"I'm going to get pick up a few things you need to look over and a couple more things for the meeting coming up," she interrupted. She didn't even look at him as she picked up her purse and marched towards the door.

She wasn't making this easy on him. _Yeah, well she has the right to be royally pissed off_, Tony told himself. "Pepper-"

"I'm really not in the mood to listen to anything you have to say right now, Tony. So if our next argument can wait just a few more hours I'll really appreciate it." Without glancing up at him or even waiting for a reply, she opened the door to leave. Suddenly she paused and Tony hoped she was about to change her mind. No such luck. "In fact, if our next argument can wait another week, I'd prefer it. I'll see you on Friday. I need a break from all this madness."

And just like that, she was out the door.

* * *

_**One hour later**_

Pepper was sitting at Tony's desk, printing out the necessary documents for the trip. In all honesty, though, she should have been out of there half an hour ago. All she was doing now was stalling so that she wouldn't have to go home and face him.

She wasn't even sure what he was about to say just before she left, but she didn't care. She was sick of him and of everything in general. And what hurt was that she didn't even mind the trip to New York tomorrow. At least she'd have a break.

And that was just sad. She sighed, as she grabbed the papers and shut down Tony's computer. She hated these meetings and whenever Tony asked her to go for him, she groaned internally. But now she was looking at them as saviors, a form of escape, just because of this last week.

Well, she couldn't help it if she was more stressed out at home than anywhere else. That's how she felt and she deserved some emotional time off.

"Can you drop this off at Marketing?" Pepper asked Rachel, the secretary at the front desk.

"Do you need them to get it now?" she asked, eyeing Pepper suspiciously.

"No, you can just drop it off in their box, it's fine."

"Uh huh," Rachel hummed. Then finding it impossible _not_ to ask, she said, "You okay?"

Pepper looked up at her but said nothing for a split second. Then she quickly nodded, trying to find a smile in her and said, "I'm fine, I'm just a little stressed."

"Uh huh," she hummed again skeptically as she took the papers to file off for Marketing.

"Rachel, can you take these too?" someone asked behind Pepper. Rachel stopped and took the additional files and left. Pepper turned around and again, tried to force out a smile. "Hi, Richard, how are you?"

"I'm doing quite alright," Richard said warmly. "How about you?"

Pepper tried not to roll her eyes. People who were obnoxiously happy were starting to bug her even though she knew he meant no harm. Richard was great but right now she was touchy. "I'm…a little stressed but I'm fine." She started to quickly gather the remaining files so she could head home.

"Well, we should take care of _that_," Richard said playfully. "I'm off to a quick lunch – do you want to come with?"

_Yes._ No. _Yes_. You need to go home and take care of everything. You can't just keep running. You need to talk to him. _I'm sick of talking to him. I'm sick and tired. I don't even want to look at him or deal with him._ Fine – then be rational. Pepper Potts seen alone and eating lunch with one of Tony Stark's employees. _It doesn't mean that. It's just goddamn lunch._ So eat with Tony. _I don't want to. _I thought you hated attention from the media – just what sort of stunt are you trying to pull off now? _It's not a stunt. It's lunch. Besides, he's been asking for it. _What do you think Tony's going to think? _I don't care about what he's going to think._

So she wanted to hurt him.

She was angry, so she wanted to hurt him.

But not like that.

She was thinking too much into this. _Richard_ probably wasn't even thinking this much into it. But the fact that she was analyzing it meant something. It meant either that she cared about Tony…or that she didn't. His feelings either mattered enough for her to do something about it.

Or not at all.

Pepper tried to hide her sadness as she quickly explained, "Actually, I can't, I have a few other things to do…but thank you-"

She was already leaving, without waiting for a reply from Richard and he managed to a mutter a haphazard, "Goodbye," before she was out of the building completely.

She needed to think. She needed to go somewhere where no one was around and figure everything out. In an instant she was in her car, driving to the one place she knew she could do that.

As soon as she started her car, her phone went off and she checked caller ID.

_Tony Stark._

She thought about answering, she really did. But in the end she threw her phone back into her purse and started the car as the first tears escaped her eyes.

* * *

Things couldn't continue like this. They'd been on a downhill slope ever since he got back and things didn't look like they were ever going to get back up at this rate. Not the way they were going. The two of them were running from each other, avoiding each other – time away from the other was time to be valued because once they were in the same room again, it was constant arguing and bickering. They never seemed to see eye to eye anymore. Not that they did so much before but they always managed to talk about it – discuss, compromise and in the end, they'd come out of it happy.

Something needed to change. Quickly.

But where would she be? It had been hours since he'd last talked to her – which, then again, had only been a yelling session. Stark Industries? Not for this long – there wasn't much for her to do. With her mother? He doubted that. Sister? Most likely. But she would have picked up her phone. It was ringing which meant _someone_ was hearing it. And her phone was never on vibrate or silent – she was too paranoid that she'd actually receive an important call to do that.

Or she'd be at home. _Her_ home. Her place was a safe haven, and if she was there, it only meant things were worse than he thought they were. That she was getting closer and closer to giving up completely. That morning was proof that things could end almost instantly. And if she left for an entire week before they talked to each other again, it could too late.

He didn't want her to leave.

He _loved_ her.

So why was it so difficult to prove it?

Or was it already too late?

He stood up and grabbed his keys.

* * *

She had expected another call – multiple calls. But for some reason, they idea that Tony could physically show up at her house had avoided her. So when she heard the doorbell ring, she got up without a second thought to answer it.

And she was shocked to say the least once she saw who was on the other side.

"Tony, why are you-?"

He had the saddest but most honest look in his eyes. A look she hadn't seen for months – when he finally admitted he was dying of palladium poisoning.

"Pepper…this isn't working."

**So…are you guys still there? I actually can't tell I feel like a bunch of you disappeared off the face of the earth. I warned you that the world would stop spinning but nooooo….now look what happened! You're all gone! :S**

**Read and review pwease!**

**I'll try and update ASAP, ok? Hope you enjoyed this fast update!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Pepper…this isn't working."

Any emotion she felt just moments ago disappeared with that simple statement and was replaced by a single, undeniable feeling: fear. No, she must have heard wrong or misunderstood what he was saying. What _was _he saying? What did he mean?

She shook her head slightly, out of pure confusion and dread. "I don't-"

"You know, it's not working," he tried to explain, talking quickly and in short spastic bursts like he usually did when nervous. "Something changed…or happened, I don't know-"

"Wait, stop-" Pepper tried to interrupt. Everything seemed to be happening in fast motion but she was stuck in the past, completely clueless.

"Maybe we-"

"Please, stop," she begged. _Begging_. She needed to get some sort of sure grip on what was happening, _if_ anything was happening.

Finally, he stopped and looked at her sadly. And for a second, that's all it was – the two of them looking at each other sadly and thinking the same thing, "So that's just it?" At last, Tony leaned on the side of the door, staring at the ground, his lips pursed slightly. He sighed once. "Can I come in?" he asked quietly, as if fearful she'd say no.

She didn't. Silently, she stepped back and opened the door wider. As he walked in, she continued to stare at the spot where he had just been, unable to comprehend. She clenched her jaw, breathing solely through her nose as if to calm herself. Finally, after a few silent moments, she slowly closed the door and turned to look at him.

It was the middle of the day, yet the lights were off and the blinds were drawn, leaving most of the house in a delicate blackness. Pepper leaned back on the door for a moment and everything remained silent.

Pepper exhaled loudly, closing her eyes as she leaned back, facing the ceiling. "What do you mean?" she asked, finally breaking the quiet.

"I mean what we're doing now…what we have been doing for this last week isn't working anymore."

She bit her bottom lip – hard enough to draw blood, internally panicking. Yes, she'd been angry all week and yes, she'd been a total bitch at times. But it was out of pure frustration and as a result, she'd been taking it out on him. Granted, he had been his fair share of "ass" as well but she could have at least done something on her side – met him halfway, talked, or just tried something _different_. But she hadn't done that – and this was the result.

"Do you…ah…" she tried, but her words broke and she had to stop to take just a second to pull herself together. She looked at the floor, her hand holding the side of her face. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Without yelling?" Tony checked.

She shrugged lightly but stood up fully. "We could give it a try," she said as she walked towards the living room, Tony following from a considerable distance. She curled up on a one-seater couch propping her chin in the palm of her hand and Tony sat opposite her, but said nothing. Again, the two descended into a period of prolonged silence.

Tony broke it first, suddenly saying, "Do you…_not_…want this to work anymore?" he asked suddenly.

The most natural and truthful answer Pepper had was a devout no. But instead, she just looked at him, stunned. "I-"

"Because I can do that," he interrupted. He looked down at his hands, his thumbs in an angry battle. "I've been an ass recently and I'm sorry…I shouldn't have been pushing your buttons like this and-"

"Just stop," Pepper said, inhaling quickly, unable to face him.

So that was it. It didn't make a difference. He'd blown it through a week of childishness and frustration. She didn't want to hear it anymore because she didn't care.

"What happened?" he finally asked. He shrugged once, as if to say he himself wasn't sure anymore. "What changed?"

"Everything changed," Pepper said, standing up. She didn't look at him as she made her way toward the kitchen. But Tony wasn't as willing to let it go just like that.

"Like what?" he asked, standing by the doorway as Pepper started to boil water. "What could have possibly happened in one week that caused us be able to live in one house without having a single decent conversation?"

She shrugged as she picked up a few dirty things around in the kitchen to place in their rightful place. As if she was purposely trying to keep herself busy so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Well, for starters, you're always doing ridiculously stupid things-"

"But that's normal," Tony pointed out. "For me, that's normal – I always do pointless things but recently we've just…" He stopped, unable to concentrate with her running up and down. He knew better than to ask her to stop though. "I know…I've been difficult these last couple days and this morning was ridiculous on my part, I know that. And I'm trying to apologize."

She still said nothing, finally resorting to washing an already clean dish. But the thing was, she didn't look angry or upset. She seemed miserable…and scared.

Tony looked away for a moment, not sure what to do or say anymore. "Were you going to stay here?"

Pepper perked up questioningly. "What?" she half whispered.

"At home…you said that you'd be out for the next week because you didn't want to come back. Were you really planning on leaving?"

Was she serious about leaving, even if it was only for a week? That was the question, and she was ashamed of the answer. _He_ had come to _her_ to set things right while she had chosen to run away angrily. "Yes," she admitted.

_Oh, God_. "I'm sorry," Tony repeated. "For making you feel like you have to-"

"But you came back to me…you didn't just…let me leave-"

Tony half shrugged, half rolled his eyes, as if to say he didn't know what the point was anymore. There wasn't a point – nothing mattered anymore. "We…haven't been on the best terms these last few days and…and I _know_…that if we didn't talk at all that this week would pass us by and when you came home…we wouldn't even know what to say to each other anymore. Pepper, I came here…to see if you wanted this to work, if it mattered anymore or if you…if you – if you want us to…if you'd rather we…" He hesitated for the words, not willing to say them audibly. Not yet – he had to _know_ first. For sure – from her.

"I…I've been angry," Pepper tried to explain. "I've been angry and frustrated by these last few weeks and I've been taking it out on you which I shouldn't have-"

"I've been getting defensive-"

"I think…we just got frustrated."

"We're making excuses," Tony said quickly and Pepper stopped. He continued, "For each other, for both of us, we're making up excuses and this is what happens when we do that – we start holding it in and yelling at each other. That isn't us." She was silent again and Tony continued. "Pepper…_what_ _changed_?"

"I told you, everything changed."

"Tell me something."

Pepper tossed a dish rag into the sink and turned to face him – angrily. That's what she was now. – angry. "You almost died _again_, that's what changed," she said as she half tossed a dirty cup in the sink. She continued to walk up and down the kitchen, ranting. "You almost died of alcohol poisoning, that's what happened. Someone tried to poison you, and then-then you were in a coma for a week, and-and…and I saw you…and some girl in a hotel room that night when you were-"

"Stop," Tony said, stepping in front of her and lightly touching her arm. She finally stood still but didn't make eye contact. So was that was all of this was about? All of last week? The last few weeks? Was that what was really bugging her? If that was it, he wasn't sure what he could do anymore. "Pepper, you know that it wasn't like that-"

"I know it's not your fault," Pepper said, taking a step back away from him. She folded her arms as if to warm herself. "But it still hurts. It hurts because I left…and that's why _you_ got hurt."

"Pepper…" he stepped closer, holding her forearm gently. "You're not…you can't really blame yourself for that night…what happened…?"

Her face crumpled and she immediately burst into tears, covering her face with her hand. She was now completely unable to bear the pain alone. Tony held her close as she cried into his chest, sobbing bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Tony…" she said into his chest, though it was next to impossible to make out the words. "I'm sorry, Tony…"

"Pepper, please don't be sorry, it wasn't-"

"It's my fault," Pepper wept into his chest. "I didn't trust you and I left you and it's my fault…I shouldn't have left you and I did it again…I left today again but you came back-"

"Shh, calm down, it's fine."

"I'm sorry-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Tony asked her, looking down at her face. "There's no reason for you to apologize."

"I shouldn't have left you that night-"

"Yes, you should have, what you did was completely normal." His fingers gently wiped away the tears on her cheek. "Pepper, why is this even coming up now? What's wrong?"

"Because…I never told you that I'm sorry for leaving…and that's why I've been so angry." She pulled away, and furiously swiped at her own face. "You're right," she sniffed, trying to compose herself. "It _is_ normal for you to do pointless and stupid things but all I've been thinking of is that night, and that I left when you needed me…and I keep thinking that I could lose you because I wasn't watching or paying attention, and I just want you to be careful because I'm scared and I-"

"Pepper, stop-"

"And it's like the letter you write me when you had palladium poisoning and I kept it so I would always know how close I was to losing you-"

"Pep-"

"So that I don't take you for granted…so I've been panicking and getting angry and I'm sorry-"

Tony pulled her closer, wrapping his hands around her as she frantically ranted endlessly. He was listening, and he was still sorry that he was the one causing her to feel so frustrated. The light hum of the reactor against her ear, threatened to bring another river from her eyes and Pepper held on to him tightly, biting her bottom lip to keep the sobs from racking her entire body.

She wasn't good enough. She could run – she had run. Twice. The first time had almost killed him, and the second time he had chosen to return to her; to make sure things were right between them. He was willing to chase her, to make sure things worked because he loved her. She knew that – she always knew that. She had never doubted it, even in the last week. Despite how frustrated and angry she had gotten, she had never doubted that he loved her.

Now she doubted if she was good enough for him. And the thought shook her to the core. "I'm sorry…"

"Please don't be sorry," Tony pleaded. He hated hearing her say that. "Don't ever be sorry."

"Why shouldn't I be? For – for giving you hell this last week and for-"

"Pepper…I think we've both been giving each other hell. We just need to talk about it, like how we always do."

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry, don't leave…please don't leave, I'm sorry-"

"Shh…" Tony hushed, embracing her. "I'll never leave you…I can't leave you."

She said nothing after that, holding on to him and he did the same. It seemed like they hadn't been this close in years - they'd been slowly drifting apart and had he not come to her place, things would have only got worse. The knowledge and realization of what they could have lost now dawned on them, and they were unwilling to release what they had, knowing what could have happened.

His fingers were lost in her hair as he rested the side of his face against hers. But it wasn't enough for her anymore. She wanted to feel him, to remember and to never forget what she could have lost. _Him_. She felt his light breathing upon the side of her face and when she couldn't hold it in anymore she looked up at him, forcing their lips to meet.

Their kiss was slow and his hands slipped down to her waist. She trembled slightly and her mouth opened, accepting, as their tongues engaged in a gentle dance.

Her hands quietly rested on his neck, pulling him closer as she felt a pulse that so easily mimicked her own. Her hand slipped down lower until she found the first button of his shirt, slowly leading him away from the kitchen.

Tony was learning her again. He had been too far away from her recently and now here they were, and he was hers once again. He was able to feel each and every sensation separately and as a whole all at the same time; her soft hands on his chest, her lips on his. It was rediscovery.

Their heavy breathing filled the room despite their pace. They were going slow…because they wanted it to last. Tony gently pulled her towards him, his kisses descending towards her neck as he undid the buttons of her blouse. She pressed himself closer to him, taking his face in her hands.

That was the threshold.

Her touch reverberated within him and his heart skipped, pounding within him. Immediately, the pain followed and Tony choked, gasping suddenly, his knees just moments to giving way.

Pepper stopped, recognizing immediately that something was wrong. "Tony…"

_Leave me alone_, Tony tried to tell the pain. _Let me feel this the way I'm supposed to feel it_. But the pain did not leave and he inhaled quickly, his forehead lightly touching hers. "I'm fine," he whispered as the pain slowly left him.

"Tony-"

He kissed her again, silencing and distracting her. Pepper melted, becoming one with him.

"Love you, Pepper…" Tony whispered between kisses. "I'll always love you."

* * *

She woke up later that night, the two of them lost within the haphazardly placed sheets. He was on his side, his arm draped over her protectively. His mouth was half open and every now and then, his upper lip would twitch. She smiled to herself and contemplated how to get out of the bed without waking him up.

"What time is it?" Tony muttered groggily, eyes closed.

Pepper sighed and looked at him – he still seemed fast asleep. "Why do you do that?"

"Because it gives me the illusion that I'm still getting some sleep."

She laughed and kissed him once. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled back. "Hey."

"Hey," she said back with a smile.

Immediately he closed his eyes again. "Goodnight."

"No!" Pepper exclaimed, sitting up, wrapping the sheets around her.

"Why not?"

"Because I need to pack."

His eyes opened again and he frowned. "For what?"

"Tony, I'm still going to that trip to New York in your place. You're going to be staying at home. It's already been decided."

"But-"

"_So_," she quickly interrupted. "You can help me pack. "

Tony grumbled something incoherently.

"I'm sorry what was that?" Pepper asked, raising an eyebrow.

He glanced up at her, a sarcastic expression on his face. "I'd love to help you pack," he quickly mended.

"Good."

But before she could completely roll out of the bed, Tony grappled for her arm and pulled her back so she couldn't leave.

"Not _now_…" he whined.

She decided to humor him and retreated back under the covers with him. For a few minutes, she remained there, resting her head on his chest, able to hear not only the humming of the arc reactor, but also his heart.

"I missed you," Tony said suddenly as he held her.

Pepper looked up at him. "I missed you too."

"I swear, we are so good at arguing it sucks."

Pepper laughed. "Ten years in the making."

"But it's never gotten like this."

"Well…we're just going to have to make sure it never does again."

Tony nodded to himself and a brief period of welcomed silence followed.

"I'm going to talk to the security guard Tuesday," he announced. "The one that worked with Hammer."

Pepper nodded to herself. "No one knows about his escape?"

"We're still trying to keep it quiet so it hasn't leaked. But it will – and when it does the first thing that's leaving is the deal to buy out Hammer."

"Tony…"

"And I'm not changing my mind."

"Financially and in terms of the company, it's a decent move-"

"Not to me."

"You're just angry. There's no real, logical reason for you to pass it up."

"I don't need a logical reason."

Pepper sighed and shook her head. There would be no talking him out of this one. Not until he calmed down.

After a few moments, Tony finally said, "Fine. I'll just put it on hiatus. As soon as Hammer is either dead-"

"Tony…"

"_Or_…back in prison, I'll _reconsider_."

"I can deal with that," Pepper decided. "And hopefully the rest of the board will too. Remember, they get an equal say."

"I know they get an equal say," Tony pouted. "But that doesn't mean I can't wish it wasn't."

"Hammer's…probably going to run to…Siberia or something, what's the big deal?"

"I don't want him anywhere near you, or to have the possibility of _getting_ anywhere near you."

Pepper smiled into Tony's chest. "Worrying sucks doesn't it?"

Tony grunted in reply.

She laughed and sat back up again. "Break's over – are you going to help me pack or not?"

**That's it. Don't forget to press the pretty speech bubble down there and leave a review, pwease! :) kthxbai**


	18. Chapter 18

**It's MEEEE! :) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 18**

"Let me get this straight," Tony started angrily as he stepped out of the passenger seat of Rhodey's car.

"Don't slam the door, don't slam the-"

_Slam!_ Rhodey sighed, rubbing the side of his head. "What, Tony?"

"Let me get this straight," Tony started again. "The guy I'm about to give a fair piece of my mind is the same guy who let Justin Hammer out of prison – and Hammer doesn't like _me_ or Pepper very much. In fact, I think he hates Pepper _more_ than he hates me which quite frankly, makes me slightly jealous-"

"Your point, Tony?"

"Well," Tony paused for effect. "I was just wondering why I'm meeting him at work and _not in a prison cell_!"

"I already told you why-"

"Don't care."

"He hasn't been arrested because then information about Hammer's escape would leak."

"And so?"

"Tony, it's going to leak as soon as we let it, meanwhile, can we just get this done and get the hell out of here?"

"Prisons scare you, Platypus?"

Rhodey rolled his eyes. "Let's just go."

"This is ridiculous," Tony said as he took off his sunglasses. "We're meeting at a prison so I can talk to a guy who is supposed to be behind bars but is a security guard."

"I know you're angry-"

"I'm not angry," Tony denied as they walked toward the entrance. Before they even reached it, the doors were opened for them by two of the security guards, quickly letting the pair in. Everyone in the building was aware that Tony and Rhodey were coming though no one knew why. But hey, when you were part of the in the Air Force and a multibillionaire super hero, you didn't really need an invitation. However, they _were_ followed by a general horde of guards the rest of the way.

"You're angry," Rhodey repeated mockingly.

"I'm not-"

"You're at least frustrated. So I'm going to guess…_Pepper_?"

Tony rolled his eyes and smacked his lips slightly, obviously annoyed. _Smug jackass._

"She's out of town – for the next _four days_," Rhodey laughed. "So you're alone and pissed-"

"_You're alone and pissed_," Tony muttered in an obnoxiously high-pitched voice as they went through a pair of double doors.

"Honestly, man, I don't know how you're going to do it."

"I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking."

"So I take it you two are now getting along?"

"Meaning?"

"Well, the last time I was with you I think I _saw_ the Great Wall of China standing between both of you."

Tony shrugged as they walked through another pair of double doors – it seemed like they were walking in a labyrinth. "It's not a big deal," Tony said offhandedly. "We went through a rough patch and we got through it."

"Uh huh," Rhodey hummed.

"Wait, so where's the guy we're looking for?"

Rhodey nodded once. "Just down these doors. You want me in there when you talk to him or just you?"

"I appreciate the concern but I think I can handle it."

Rhodey laughed as they opened the last pair of double doors.

Tony recognized him from the grainy camera footage immediately. Well – at least the back of him. The guard was facing away from him, eating a sandwich. Just as he walked by him, Tony tapped his shoulder once and stood in front of him, smiling obnoxiously. "Hi."

The guy looked about ready to piss in his pants, half a slice of tomato hanging from his mouth. Immediately, he tried to save himself, wiping his mouth with a napkin but Tony didn't bother waiting for some sort of formality.

"I think," Tony said slowly. "The two of us need to have a little talk. What do you say to that?"

* * *

"So," Tony asked once they were alone. They were in an interrogation room, Tony leaning on one of the walls on the side and the guard sitting down at the table. "What did he give you?"

"Who did what give me?" The guard asked, trying to keep a straight face.

_Idiot_. "You…mixed up a couple of the words there," Tony informed him.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Tony shrugged, looking nonchalant. "I don't really know what he could have possibly given you."

"No one gave me-"

"Money? But that wouldn't explain why you're still here. Someone in their decent mind would have run by now, I shouldn't be able to find you in this state."

"I don't know-"

"Or maybe something valuable in general?"

"No one ever-"

"Or a threat."

Silence.

Tony had found it – he'd struck a chord and now was the time to keep strumming until he wrenched something valuable out of him. He remained silent as well, waiting for the guard to finally admit something but when that didn't happen, Tony deadpanned, "Hammer's not very good in a fight, I assure you."

The security guard still said nothing, jaw clenched, lips in a firm line.

Tony sighed. "Listen, I don't…_care_…what Hammer told you. Maybe he told you that if you didn't let him out he'd sue you into bankruptcy, or reveal your deepest, darkest secret or that he'd drop you in a vat of toxic waste. I'm don't care. I'm not impressed. But what I _do_ know, is that whatever he _claims_ to be able to do, I can do it fifty times over."

The security guard finally looked up at him, a fiery look in his eyes.

_Now we're getting somewhere_, Tony thought to himself.

"I didn't even see the guy," the guard told him. "He handed me a tray, pointed a gun at my balls, and told me to deliver it to Cell 233. I didn't even know Hammer was in it until afterwards. I literally had almost _nothing_ to do with your friend's escape."

Tony _really_ felt like strangling someone now. So the search was over – their one thread of hope had slipped from his fingers. This guy didn't know shit because he'd just been threatened into doing it.

"You're sure you don't know who it was?" Tony asked – his tone had dramatically changed. Intimidation wasn't necessary now that he had what he wanted – or more specifically, had no way of getting what he wanted.

The guard shook his head. "He could walk right by me and I wouldn't know it was him."

Tony cursed. "Perfect," he muttered as he leaned off the wall and made his way toward the door.

"So what now?"

He turned around – Tony hadn't expected him to say anything else. "What do you mean, what now?"

"I mean, what about me? What are you going to do with me?"

Tony shrugged his shoulders. There was no point in him pressing charges or complaining – it wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Nothing," Tony answered honestly just as he left the room.

Rhodey was waiting for him just outside and as soon as Tony emerged, he followed him on his heels back out.

"So?" Rhodey prompted.

"Nothing," Tony muttered angrily.

"What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean he doesn't know anything, we're just back where we started."

"How can he not know anything?"

"He was threatened, he wasn't really paying attention to what the hell was going on."

Rhodey looked at Tony, then back at the room they had just left. "So that's it?"

Tony shrugged and rolled his eyes. "That's it. Time for Plan B."

"Which is?"

"I haven't actually thought of that part yet. I just give all the plans the names."

* * *

Tony was in the shop and he wasn't exactly in a good mood, considering how well his conversation with the security guard gone. So he had decided to spare the guard's life – so what? Hammer was still out there somewhere, most likely – no _definitely_ up to no good and Tony had no idea what he had planned to do next.

Stupid jackass.

Tony continued to mutter obscenities under his breath as he pulled open a drawer full of medical related stuff he had stashed over the last couple days and twisted his lip to the side in thought. Finally, after rolling his eyes, he pulled out the things he would need.

He'd been waiting for the perfect time to get this done and as if some sort of higher power was listening to him, Pepper was gone for the week, giving him ample time to figure everything out before she could find out about it.

_Incoming call from Ms. Potts._

"Well, answer it," Tony instructed JARVIS just before taking his shirt off. He quickly ripped open an alcohol gauze packet with his teeth and spit out the paper in his mouth before cleaning the area just below his right clavicle.

"Hey, Tony."

He smiled to himself, vaguely paying attention to the instructions JARVIS was posting up on his computer screen. Just hearing her voice after a day filled with crap was enough to calm him down. "Miss me already?" he taunted.

"If the feeling's not mutual I can just as easily hang up."

"Feeling crabby, are we?"

"Goodbye, Tony," she threatened.

Tony laughed a little to himself. "How are you doing?"

"Just got out of the first of many meetings."

"And how was that?"

"As boring as hell."

"I warned you," Tony continued to taunt as he ripped open another alcohol pad. "Those things are even _more_ boring than hell – believe me, you could have skipped, no one's going to even remember you were there."

"It's called formality, Tony. I'm aware that you have no idea of the concept but-"

"Formality is overrated," Tony announced, throwing the rest of the supplies on the table. "What are those meetings even about anyway?"

"It's a general weapons manufacturers' meeting – companies all over the world are just discussing-"

"See? I told you it's boring," Tony interrupted as he set up the machinery.

Pepper heard him. "Tony, what are you doing?"

"I'm working on the suit," Tony lied quickly, leftover packaging still hanging out of his mouth. As soon as he did, he winced to himself, hating that he had resorted back to lying. _But for a good reason – as soon as I figure this out, I'll tell her. _

"Oh, right – you're bored," Pepper joked.

"Can you blame me, I don't have much to do around here?" He tried to keep his tone lightheaded, but really, he was staring at the equipment in front of him – a portable ECG. He exhaled through loosely closed his lips and picked up one of the electrodes – so where did this one go again?

"Did you talk to the security guard?" Pepper asked, and even across a phone line, hundreds of miles away, Tony could hear her anxiety.

"Yeah," Tony finally decided. "Yeah, I did."

"And…?" Pepper prompted.

He shrugged even though she couldn't see it. "He didn't know anything," Tony said as he connected each electrode to the designated area on his chest. "He wasn't given anything, he was just threatened at gun point off camera. The guy didn't even know who it was."

"So what does that do for us?"

"Not much," Tony said, starting the ECG. "We know Hammer wasn't working alone but that still doesn't give us anything."

"Maybe…maybe there isn't anything to worry about."

"Maybe I'll gain a sense of humility."

"Tony, I'm being serious."

"Yeah, so am I – I think I'm going to throw Hammer into a-"

"On that happy note," Pepper quickly interrupted, "What's on the agenda for the rest of the day for you?"

"I'm calling an emergency board of director's meeting."

Pepper was completely silent on the other end and for a moment, Tony had thought the line had been disconnected. "What?" Pepper said simply.

"An emergency board-"

"No, I heard you but…why?" Tony calling a meeting was never a good sign. It usually meant someone was out of a job or he was about to do something crazy…like blow up the Empire State Building.

"The Hammer deal is off – we're not buying it."

"Tony-"

"And you can't change my mind."

"You _do_ realize, that the board gets votes too. In fact, you get the some number of votes as everyone else on the board – _one_. And you _also_ know that if they overrule you that your plan isn't going into effect, right?

"Yes, Ms. Potts, I am aware of how my own company works."

"Tony, there is no logical reason-"

"The former CEO of the company-"

"—to completely blow off the deal-"

"—has broken out of prison I think it's a decent-"

"—just because he's not in prison, Justin Hammer isn't-"

"—idea to ignore any previous plan we had to buy off the company-"

"—a justifiable reason to break it off completely-"

"—It is too justified!"

"—since it's not Hammer Industries' fault-"

"—We don't know that-"

"Which is exactly the point which is why we shouldn't just-"

"Well, what does that say about Stark Industries, it doesn't look very good on paper."

"—blow it off completely!"

The two of them were silent, huffing angrily. Finally Pepper said, "Fine – try the board with your idea to call of the deal and let's see how well they take it."

Tony grimaced and muttered something under his breath. He hated it when she was so logical. "Fine – a brief..._hiatus_ until Hammer is found. What about that?"

"They just might be able to swallow that in bite size pieces."

"Fair?"

"Fine," Pepper reluctantly agreed.

"See?" Tony joked. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

"Fine," Pepper replied curtly.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not angry," Pepper denied childishly. "I just think it's stupid."

Tony hummed to himself unconvinced.

"So when's the meeting?" Pepper asked.

"Well, I haven't actually…you know…set up the meeting yet."

"Which I will naturally set up for you as soon as this next meeting is over."

"You're in a meeting?"

"It starts in about…two minutes."

"So skip it."

"Tony!"

"What?"

"I can't just skip a meeting, I wouldn't hear the end of it."

"From who?"

"Well, from-"

"Stark Industries? Who cares? I _am_ Stark Industries."

"Do you remember what you said earlier about humility?" Pepper reminded him.

"Uh-uh," Tony replied, not really paying attention.

"Listen, I'll call you later, okay?"

"You're leaving already?"

"I told you I have a meeting!" Pepper said, laughing.

"That's a stupid excuse."

"Goodbye, Tony."

"Love you," he answered back before hanging up. Once he had, he sighed, and stared at the portable screen in his hand. The plan was to record the activity of his heart for a full twenty-four hours, knowing quite well that he'd have one of his pain-in-his-chest attacks within that time frame. Afterwards, he'd let JARVIS analyze the data. If the problem was his heart, he wouldn't have a choice – he'd have to tell Pepper and they'd have to figure it out. If it wasn't…then he'd keep trying to figure out what exactly it was.

"Here goes nothing," Tony muttered to himself as he started the ECG.

**And…that's a wrap. A short wrap, I agree, but a wrap nonetheless. Don't forget to review please! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Super fast update? I THINK SO! :)**

**Chapter 19**

The so-called "emergency" board meeting had taken nearly an entire week to set up and had finally been scheduled and completed. It would have taken a lot longer too, had it not been for the raging headlines that had magically appeared just the day before.

_Hammer Escapes Prison._

_Former CEO of Hammer Industries, now ex-convict._

_How Justin Hammer's Escape from Prison will Affect the Deal with Stark Industries._

It was mostly the last headline that sped things up. Stark Industries had to make a move and a public statement. Fast. Which also gave everyone incentive to meet.

And so the decision had been made and decided: The Hammer Industries deal, until further notice, would be postponed and was put on a brief hiatus. That was all that had been released officially to the press but the truth was that the deal would be off _until_ Hammer was found and incarcerated - _again_.

* * *

It was nine o'clock at night and Tony was down in the shop, reading the analyzed data JARVIS had spread out for him – _four_ _days_ worth of analyzed data. He had run the ECG multiple times now. The first time he completed the twenty-four hour cycle, JARVIS had found no problems with his heart. And naturally, Tony was unconvinced and ran the cycles over and over again for the next four days. Still, nothing. Despite the random pangs of pain he felt in his chest over the last couple days, the ECG had picked up nothing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Tony Stark's heart.

Still, only one pattern had been found – as soon as his heart rate hit a certain point, the pain would come without mercy. But that still didn't explain _why_ he was experiencing the pain to begin with. He had nothing to go on and he stared at the useless and meaningless print outs of data on his desk.

"Now what?" Tony muttered to himself, feeling abandoned and hopeless. This wasn't the plan – the ECG was supposed to help him figure out what the problem was, not highlight the fact that he didn't _know_ what the problem was.

_I believe it would be in your best interest to consult professional medical attention, Sir_, JARVIS answered for him.

Tony made a disgusted face. "Oh, shut up," he told his AI, gathering the papers and throwing them all in the trash. He didn't even want to look at these anymore. He groaned, thinking to himself. What else could it be? The reactor? No – he'd run diagnostics for weeks after its implantation – the reactor was probably the healthiest part of his body. His heart was fine, the reactor was fine…so what was left?

Consulting "professional medical attention" suddenly didn't sound like such a bad idea.

Consulting professional medical attention would also require fessing up to Pepper and telling her not only that something was wrong, but that he didn't know _what_ was wrong.

That's what was really getting to him now. The _not_ knowing. If it was his heart, there was a high chance he could take care of it but now he had no true grasp of the situation, completely lost and without an inkling of what to do next.

_Calm down_, he tried to tell himself. Maybe it was nothing, just him slowly recovering. After all, he _had_ ditched the wheelchair weeks in advance. Maybe this was the consequence, in which case the pain was bound to end eventually.

_Ms. Potts' flight should land in approximately fifteen minutes, Sir._

Tony quickly jumped up and threw pretty much everything on his desk into the giant trashcan. "Dummy, get rid of this stuff," he quickly instructed before bounding out of the room.

Four days. Good God, how had he ever managed it? For the last four days Pepper had been out of town and as soon as the first day had ended one day, he wasn't entirely sure how he'd make it through the next. He had missed her.

A _lot._

"JARVIS, lock up!" Tony yelled before he left the house.

* * *

_Goddamn turbulence_, Pepper thought to herself as she grabbed her bags angrily. It didn't matter how many times she'd board a plane – she'd never get over the feeling. But despite her inner frustration, she managed to portray an outward demeanor of cheerfulness as she exited the plane. She continued to quietly curse the creator of turbulence, keeping her eyes on the steps that descended from the plane so that she wouldn't tumble down them again – now _that_ was an interesting story.

"I'll take that-" someone said, interrupting her concentration, and the owner of the voice held on to one of Pepper's suitcases.

"No, it's fine I've-" Pepper spared a glance to look at who she was talking to and immediately smiled, her previous frustrations instantly vanishing and a glowing warmth taking over.

"What, you weren't expecting me?" Tony asked playfully, taking her things and walking down the stairs, still facing her.

Pepper said. But she held on to his shoulder to stop him from walking too far, and kissed him once. "I didn't know you were going to be here, that's all," she told him, still smiling.

"Uh huh? Well, it's nice to know you hold me to such high standards," he said, smirking. "How was the flight?"

"I hate turbulence." Pepper complained as they descended the stairs

Tony laughed, throwing her bags into the back of the Audi. Pepper simply frowned in response. "It's not funny, Tony," she said, completely serious.

"I didn't say it was funny. Who's laughing? I'm not laughing," he said jokingly as he opened the door from Pepper to step in. She tried to keep a serious face but she wound up smiling again, rolling her eyes. Tony jumped into the driver's seat but instead of starting the car, he took her face in his hand and kissed her like she'd been missing for a thousand years. Pepper eagerly accepted, realizing at that very moment just how much she had missed him too.

"Someone misses me," she taunted between kisses.

"If the feeling isn't mutual I can just as easily stop," he told her, leaning back threateningly.

Pepper slipped her hand around his neck, keeping him where he was and continued to kiss him. After a few moments, she finally released him and looked into his eyes only to find him smirking triumphantly.

"Drive," she quickly commanded, leaning back into her seat.

Tony wallowed in a brief moment of internal satisfaction. Then asked, "Hungry?"

* * *

_**2 AM**_

They both had to be up early for an eight o'clock meeting that morning, yet neither of them could find the motivation to do the responsible thing and get some sleep. Instead, they remained on the couch, talking about everything and nothing at all at the same time. Pepper sat upright while Tony lay down on the couch, his head resting on her lap, her fingers playing with his hair. They'd ended up ordering Chinese take out and now take out boxes and chopsticks were all over the table – all emptied long ago.

"I still think you should have skipped the meetings," Tony said, unable to drop it.

"I've told you a million times that that's ridiculous."

"Face it – the meetings were all pointless."

Pepper shrugged, scoffing. "Of course it was pointless. But that doesn't make a difference, you know."

"Of course it does. Even when it's _not_ pointless I don't show up."

"You're also the CEO of the company," Pepper reminded him. "You can get away with it."

"So? I could still get locked out, no one does that either."

"Maybe it has something to do with you owning weapons of mass destruction-"

"They are _not_ weapons of mass destruction!"

"In your basement."

"That's not true _either_," Tony pouted. "This has already been established, it's a high-tech prosthesis. Not a weapon."

"Yes, well, if I recall correctly, that didn't nearly go over as an accurate description at the hearing a few months back, now did it?"

"And look who still has the weapons."

"You said weapons," Pepper immediately pointed out.

"Suit!" Tony corrected. "I still have the suits after all the drama they put up."

"Yes and it did wonders for your ego…"

"My ego defines me," Tony deadpanned.

Pepper laughed. "We should get some sleep."

"As long as by 'sleep' you really mean…"

"No," Pepper said, raising an eyebrow. "We have a meeting in six hours-"

"I don't see how that affects-"

"Which means we need to get some rest."

"Bullshit," Tony refuted, eyeing her.

_You have an incoming call from a private number, Sir_, JARVIS interrupted.

Tony laughed to himself once, smiling up at Pepper before instructing JARVIS to answer it. "Tony Stark," he answered aloud, still smirking at Pepper.

"Get your ass up and out of the house, we've got work to do."

Tony's smile immediately disappeared, replaced with a devout frown and look of exasperation and frustration. "Oh, hell no…"

"You want to test me?"

"Well, round up somebody else, Fury, I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Oh – I'm sorry, _you're_ in the middle of something? _You're_ too busy? If God knocked on your front door and told you to get to work, would you really tell him, 'Oh, sorry – this is kind of a bad time'?"

"Are you comparing yourself to God?"

"I'm giving you half an hour to get here, Tony."

"No!" Tony yelled back, annoyed. He was _not_ about to go flying off into God knew where just because this guy said so. He had _actually_ made plans – plans to spend the rest of the night with Pepper, doing nothing constructive. And ripping that away from him was just about the only thing that could catapult him into full blown pissed off mood.

Pepper sighed, weaving her hands through his hair. She was equally exasperated. She tried not to be stay frustrated, she really did – but it was ultimately inevitable. Now all she could do was put on a brave face for Tony. It wasn't his fault, he didn't want to go, and she understood.

"Half an hour, Tony," Fury told him.

"Don't hang up on me, Fury," Tony warned, knowing quite well what he was about to do.

_General Fury is offline, Sir._

"Fury-what the hell…" Tony muttered finally, realizing that arguing was a lost cause. They were silent for a few seconds, silently aggravated.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Pepper burst into peals of laughter, giggling like a child.

"What?" Tony asked curiously.

She looked at him, still laughing, and managed to say something along the lines of, "I think the only reason you hate Fury so much is because he's the _one_ person you _actually_ have to listen to…_and_ you have to do what he says."

He sighed, burying his face in Pepper's stomach. "Well, it's nice to know you're having a good laugh out of this."

She laughed again, slowly pushing him away. "Come on. You've got work to do."

"No…." he whined staying exactly where he was. Pepper continued to push him away until he passed the edge of the couch and fell over the side and onto the floor. Still, he refused to move, rolling onto his back and looking up at Pepper, a whiny pout on his face.

She pouted back, resting her hand on her closed fist. "You don't have much of a choice, you know. And I'll be right here when you come back, alright? Pinky promise."

Tony, obviously not pleased with his deal, reluctantly, stood up and held out his hand. Pepper took it and stood as well, following him down towards the shop.

Halfway down the stairs, Pepper asked, "Do you think you're ready for it?" It was impossible – she couldn't completely hide her worry and apprehension. After all, look at how well the last trip went. He had wound up in the hospital. No doubt alcohol was partially responsible but that didn't make her feel any better.

He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Don't worry," he told her as he let himself into the shop. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," Pepper said, trying to smile – even if it was only a little bit. Tony touched her cheek gently to put her at ease and left to change and suit up while Pepper did her usual piece – making sure JARVIS was updated and fully loaded into the suit. She watched from behind the desk as the many robotic arms assembled the suit around him, each piece fitting perfectly with the next. The process was almost mindless – she'd seen it over and over again yet there was always that iota of fear and anxiety that held on to her. But today, the anxiety seemed to have elevated.

Tony noticed the worry in her eyes and could immediately tell that she was particularly uneasy today. _Damn it, Fury_, he thought to himself.

Once the assembly had completely finished, Pepper walked up to him, a nervous smile on her lips.

"Pepper…" Tony begged. _Don't look at me like that._

"I'm fine," Pepper told him, tapping the glowing arc reactor. "Just…come back in one piece for me, okay?"

"I will," he promised her. And he _would_. But… "But I think a good luck kiss is in order, remember I might not make it back."

She smiled, remembering the last time he had said that…and that she _hadn't_ given him that kiss. But this time, she leaned forward and kissed him, her hand lightly touching his cheek and grazing his goatee.

Slowly, she pulled away but only slightly. "One piece," she reminded him, her hand still on his cheek. "In one piece, okay?"

"You worry too much," he told her with a smile, stepping back as his helmet closed over his face. He fired up the suit, slowly ascending, leaned forward, and raced out of the driveway. Pepper watched from down below as he quickly disappeared into the night.

* * *

_**5 AM**_

Tony just about crash landed back into the shop, heaving. He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't _breathe_.

He threw his helmet aside and stayed on the floor, his hands holding up the rest of his body as he gasped for a single, full breath. His mouth hung open in a desperate attempt to gather air but as oxygen filled his lungs, his chest expanded slightly and the added pressure wasn't doing wonders on the growing, excruciating pain in his chest.

The pain had never been this bad – he was sure he would have been able to handle it. But in the end it was impossible. It felt like someone was tearing his heart into pieces while stabbing it with a dagger. As he lay there on the floor on all fours, he wasn't able to fathom how he could even bear it.

He held his breath as a wave of pain hit him and his arms gave way. Immediately, he landed hard on the floor, yelping.

_Sir, it is imperative the suit is removed _immediately_._

Tony looked up, about ready to pass out. Yet, he managed, to prop himself up on his arms again and crawl toward the mounting pad. The process was slow and had the potential of driving him insane. The pain was shooting through his chest and air was unable to reach his lungs. Still, he pushed himself, stopping halfway to suppress a chilling scream. Once he had reached the mounting pad, he slowly, got up on his knees and immediately, the robotic arms did the rest – helping him to stand up as the pieces were removed quickly and efficiently.

He stood there, motionless as he dry heaved and groaned, silently begging for the entire experience to be over. But even after the suit was removed, the pain and discomfort remained and he collapsed back on his knees and arms, gasping.

This couldn't continue. It wasn't his heart, he knew that much, but he couldn't go through this. Not again. _Never_ again.

He stayed where he was until the pain subsided to a mild throbbing and he was able to breathe without too much of an effort. Tony held on to a nearby table and slowly helped himself up as he made stumbling steps toward the door. The first hurdle passed – then the stairs, the hallway…

It took him nearly ten minutes just to make it all the way up the stairs, having stopped multiple times on his way to catch his breath and keep the pain at bay. But once he had reached the first floor, he remained on the ground, breathing heavily, eyes closed and head resting on the wall behind him. Just steady breathing…inhale…exhale…

After a few moments, he opened his eyes, determined to make it to his room in one movement. But before he got to his feet, he spotted a vibrant streak of fiery orange out of the corner of his eye - Pepper. He immediately he turned his head, panicking. _How am I supposed to explain this to her? Now?_

Pepper wasn't looking at him though; she was asleep on the couch, long descended into a comforting state of unconsciousness. A blanket was draped over her, half of it already slipping towards the floor.

Tony sighed sadly, looking away for a moment, knowing quite well why she had fallen asleep there – again. Anxiety. Worry – and she didn't even know about this new chest problem yet. Once he was sure he could make it, he managed to get to his feet and shuffled over to her. Then he gently carried her in his arms. She was light, but he was still weak and immediately his chest began to ache. It was just a light throbbing so he ignored it, carrying her back to the bedroom.

She mumbled something in her sleep and buried her face in his chest, her lip twitching slightly and Tony smiled to himself just as he lightly kicked the door open.

"Tony?"

He looked down and saw that her eyes were opened slightly – so she _was_ awake.

"Yeah?" he answered back, trying to keep his voice even as he lightly laid her down.

"I thought…" she mumbled something incoherently, her eyes still half open.

"What is it?" he asked quietly, kneeling down beside her.

"Are you hurt?"

He hesitated and was relieved that she was too tired to notice. "I'm fine just sleep, okay?"

"You're hurt?" she repeated, waking up a little.

"Shh," he reassured her, stroking her hair.

"Are you okay?" she sounded a little panicked but sleep was beginning to take over, her eyes closing again.

_Tell her yes. Tell her everything's fine even if it's not – tell her that._

No, he wouldn't do that. He wasn't going to lie. He was tired of lying. "We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay? Just go to sleep…it'll be okay, just sleep…"

Pepper closed her eyes completely as he reassured her, going under once again, falling back into sleep as though she had never woken up to begin with.

Tony stayed there for a few more minutes, just watching her sleep. He'd fix whatever was going on with his chest, his heart, whatever – whatever the problem was, it was _going_ to be fixed. It had to be fixed – because he wasn't about to leave her.

**Excuse typos please. Read. Review. Make the world go 'round.**

**That is all.**

**:)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Over 400 reviews.**

…

**Um…Wow? Honestly, thanks so much for all the feedback! I REALLY appreciate it! I think I need to tell you how much I love you guys more often, how about THAT? :)**

**Oh, and sorry for the ridiculously long wait. Who knew college would involve…*shudder*…**_**work**_**? Lol. I actually wound up writing this ENTIRE chapter twice since I didn't like my first draft which is something I never do so hopefully you'll like this one. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 20**

Pepper woke up the next morning by herself, vaguely remembering how she had ended up in the bed as opposed to the couch. Very reluctantly, she opened one eye, trying to estimate the time just by looking out the window.

_Good morning, Ms. Potts. It's currently 9:36 AM in Malibu, California and-_

In an instant, she opened her eyes wide and sat up in the bed. It was _nine thirty_? Granted, it was Saturday so it wasn't like she had any plans. Well, except for that meeting in a few hours but still, waking up at nine thirty definitely was a high ranked evil. It was right up there with theft and _maybe_ murder. She kicked off the covers and despite how disoriented she was from just waking up, her feet managed to lead her towards the stairs that led to Tony's shop.

She walked in, wearing pajama bottoms and one of his old t-shirts but instead of finding Tony yelling at Butterfingers or adjusting one of the Mark suits, she found the workshop completely empty.

She frowned to herself, walking up the stairs slowly. _Weird_. "Tony?" she called out as she walked around the house in a slightly dazed state. Waking up late, Tony _not_ in the shop – was she even on Earth?

Still, Pepper couldn't find Tony anywhere. Finally, slightly frustrated, she went back to the bedroom and as she did, JARVIS illuminated the room. It was then she noticed the note on his side of the bed. Pepper quickly snatched it up and read what was written.

_Was in a rush and had to head out. I'll explain later._

_Love always,_

_Tony_

And just like that, the assumptions accumulated in her brain. Had the phrasing been slightly different, she probably would have shrugged it off as Tony being spontaneous – as usual. But the 'I'll explain later' was the worrying part. Why hadn't he said something else like, 'I'll talk to you later'? What was there to explain? What made today so special from every other day he did something unexpected?

Pepper bit her lip then threw the note aside, trying to ignore it. There was nothing to worry about – why was she worrying about it? It was just Tony being Tony.

_It's nothing_, she told herself as she left to take a shower.

* * *

_Things must be getting bad if I'm willing to book an appointment with a physician on my own time without Pepper's help._

Tony looked at the scribbled word on the prescription that the doctor had given him. Naturally, he couldn't read it – doctors and their crazy handwriting. _This is why half your patients keep dying_, he thought to himself angrily. Eventually, the words became clearer on the page.

"Warfarin?" Tony asked, reading the word perfectly.

"Yes, it's an anticoagulant – like a blood thinner; to reduce the risk of an embolism or heart attack-"

"No, I know what it is," Tony said, trying hard not to roll his eyes. "You think I've got a clot?"

"Or the potential of forming a clot," the doctor quickly added. "That's the most likely cause for chest pain so this should take care of that."

"A heart attack?" Tony asked as if he hadn't heard a single thing the doctor had just said.

"That's the extreme, but in time it's likely that can happen."

A heart attack. He could have had a heart attack.

He was still in his goddamn thirties, it was too early to start thinking about heart attacks.

Wait a minute, hold on – it wasn't _supposed_ to be his heart. He'd run tests, JARVIS had done his thing, his heart wasn't the issue. He _knew_ it wasn't an issue.

But instead of arguing, he found himself nodding, accepting the prescription and desperately hoping it would work. He couldn't find it in himself to argue because there was that chance that he could be wrong; that he _was_ one hundred percent wrong. And he didn't want to take that risk because the truth was that he had lost trust in himself.

"Twice a day, one in the morning, one at night."

Tony nodded half heartedly as he walked out the door.

* * *

_**2 hours later**_

"Put all of it over there…yeah, all of it," Tony instructed as pile upon pile of generic "stuff" was dropped by the front door.

Pepper had heard the loud clattering before she had heard Tony speak and at first she thought Butterfingers was throwing a tantrum. When Pepper appeared by the entrance, she saw, instead, a team of men who were hauling giant metal pieces into the house. Pepper stared at it, not entirely sure what to think and in that instant, completely forgot about her worry concerning whatever Tony was supposed to tell her.

"What's this?" she asked instead, already dreading the answer.

"The new Audi is out," he explained.

"That doesn't explain anything," she told him skeptically.

"See, I was thinking – why don't I invent a hybrid?"

"A…hybrid car? You mean electrical and-"

"No, I mean part Audi, plus the new Mercedes?"

"I thought you said the new Audi was out."

"They're both out but that's not the point. The _point _is-" he raised an eyebrow excitedly. "I'm going to invent a car. A _hybrid_. Though technically I won't be inventing anything I'll just be, as said, creating a hybrid. What I _will_ be doing is reinventing the meaning of hybrid."

"Is that illegal?" she asked instead, still not sure what to make of everything.

Before he could even answer, Pepper suddenly half yelled, "And…and why are they putting it in the house and not the garage?"

"Because I don't feel like working on it right now, I'll probably think about it next week-"

"So for an entire week this stuff is going to be all over the place?"

"I'll get it moved maybe tomorrow, I just don't feel like dealing with it right now," he said, shrugging slightly.

"Is that all?" one of the men asked, ready to be off.

"Yeah, thanks," Tony said, making his way down towards the shop; Pepper following angrily at his heels.

"Tony, where are you going?" Pepper asked, already exasperated. It was nearly noon and yet, Pepper was already anxious for the end of the day. When she could have a break.

"I've deemed this conversation boring," Tony announced as he made his way downstairs.

"Oh…no!" Pepper exclaimed, knowing exactly where he was heading. "You are _not_ going down to the shop now, not when we have a mandatory meeting, a _board_ meeting actually in three hours!"

"I've been to, what, five of those in the last two days, I think I can miss a session."

"No, you can't and I still need your okay for the MIT speech-"

"That's next week!"

"You don't even know what you're talking about yet! And then there's-"

_Blah, blah, blah_, Tony thought to himself as he let himself in. "Fine, I'll be out in five minutes."

"Tony!"

"Four and a half, start counting," he interrupted, counting down from four with his fingers.

"No, time has its own thing down here. Downstairs in the shop, four and a half minutes in 'shop time' is about the equivalent of two and a half hours in 'real time' and I am most certainly _not_ about to go through this for the billionth time-"

_Incoming call from a private number, Sir, _JARVIS answered, almost sarcastically.

"See now I have to pick up the phone, so let's make it seven and a half minutes-"

"Take this call and then we're leaving," Pepper warned him.

Tony smirked once JARVIS had answered and said, "Fury, I never thought I'd _actually_ have the chance to say that I'm happy you called."

"Only because right now I'm more dangerous than _he_ is," Pepper spat, dropping the papers on Tony's desk. He could have fun dealing with those later.

"Well, I don't know about this 'Fury' guy, but I do hope you're just as happy to be talking to me."

The smile on Tony's face immediately disintegrated and a cold chill swept through him. He knew that voice – he _hated_ that voice. He hated _him_ - and that was before he'd threatened Pepper and been shipped off to prison.

"And I think your girlfriend's back there – she is, isn't she?" Justin Hammer taunted.

"You sound pretty excited for a guy who's wanted dead or alive in six countries."

"I believe the official count is seven."

"Being me pays, doesn't it?" Tony deadpanned. Off to the side he instructed, "JARVIS – trace."

"Apparently it's not enough, seeing as I'm not _quite_ where you left me a few weeks ago, now am I?"

"JARVIS, where the hell is he?" Tony demanded under his breath impatiently, already sick of this clown.

_Acquiring necessary data._

"But hey, that's enough about me, yeah? How are doing, huh? What about your girlfriend, she's still with you right now isn't she? How are you holding up there, honey?"

"You better watch yourself, Hammer," Tony warned. _Hurry up, JARVIS_, Tony silently pleaded.

"It's fine, I get it – you know, it's her fault I'm in this mess to begin with. I think I have the right to be just a little frustrated."

"Yeah, that's unfortunate, isn't it?" Tony dragged on, allowing him to monologue. The longer he talked, the more accurate pinpoint JARVIS would get.

"I also think I reserve the right to seek a fair aspect of revenge."

"Sounds like a plan, let's set up a play date, how about that?"

"I don't mean to burst your bubble, Anthony, but I was talking about Ms. Potts back there."

_East Coast_, JARVIS spoke up.

"She is still back there, isn't she? Poor thing hasn't said a word yet."

"Hammer, I personally assure you that the next time you see her, you're going to be behind the bars instead of in front of them – fair enough?" Tony taunted – just barely.

_Queens, New York…_

"We'll see who's right this time, Wonder Boy. You're always convinced you're right…"

_Pin-pointing exact location._

"We'll see this time, Anthony."

_Address acquired_.

Perfect. Now he could give this clown a decent piece of his mind. "I'll tell you what we'll do, Hammer – I'll find you first, kill you, bring you back, throw you back into prison where you _should_ be and just because I'm a nice guy, Pepper will come visit you with a bar of soap and if I'm feeling particularly generous I'll throw in some hand sanitizer, how about that? But only if either of us are in the mood."

Hammer laughed lightly, as if he had just said a funny joke. "Nice talking to you, Wonder Boy."

_Click_.

"What's the address, JARVIS?" Tony demanded already standing up and running multiple programs on his computer.

_7191 Industrial Drive, Queens. Hammer Industries headquarters, Sir._

"JARVIS, I want you to hack into his mainframe and tell me what he's hiding. And assemble the suit immediately."

"Tony," Pepper squeaked, her voice breaking, finally speaking up. Her hand clutched his chair tightly, her knuckles turning white. She was scared, she hated to admit it but she was terrified. She had expected trouble on Justin Hammer's front, but Pepper hadn't even suspected that he'd have the nerve to actually _call_. Doing that meant he was confident in whatever he was planning. He must have known that Tony would try and trace the call, so what was his plan? What was he trying to prove?

He stood up, understanding her fear, holding her hand. "It's going to be fine, okay?" he reassured her. "You're going to be okay."

"I'm fine," she lied. But what she really wanted to say was, "Don't leave me."

"Listen I'll be gone and back before you know it, alright?" he said, touching her chin. He could tell she was scared – he could see it in her eyes. "Rhodey will be here until I get back, okay?"

"I'm fine," she repeated, which wasn't really the proper response.

He kissed her cheek once before reminding his AI of his job. "JARVIS – the suit!"

_Donning the suit isn't the wisest choice of action considering the health-related risks involved and your recent diagnosis-_

God damn it. "Mute," Tony said quickly but JARVIS had already said too much.

"Diagnosis – what diagnosis?" Pepper asked staring intently at Tony. Fear was still entrenched within her and the sheer confusion only deepened that fear.

Tony closed his eyes, thinking fast. "Pepper…I swear…"

She shook her head, already not understanding. "I don't-"

"I was going to tell you-"

"Tell me what?"

"Okay," Tony said, mostly to himself. "Do you…do you remember last night? When I came home last night and you asked me if I was okay? And I said…I said I'd tell you later, that I'd talk to you later?"

She nodded warily, eyeing him. Her heart was already racing and she didn't even know what he was about to tell her. She did remember something about asking him if he was okay but very vaguely.

"And I'll tell you," Tony told her, holding her arms gently. "I promise, I'll tell you. I swear I will."

She tried to process his words, shaking her head slightly. "No, you said-"

"It's fine – it's going to be fine. And I will tell you, I will _show_ you, okay?"

"You're not-"

"Pepper," he interrupted again. He had to phrase this correctly. If he didn't, all hell would break loose. "Pepper, I _will_ explain everything to you as soon as I get back-"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No, you have to be insane to honestly think I'm going to let you leave before you tell me…whatever it is you're trying to tell me!"

"Pepper, I will, I swear I will but I need to-"

"No, I don't care about what the hell Hammer is doing or what he has planned next or if he's going to become President of the United States," Pepper told him. Hammer could march into the house right now for all she cared. Something else was wrong – something _important_ – she could tell. "What's wrong?"

"Well…_technically_," Tony started carefully.

"Oh, no, don't you start with this technicality crap with me-"

"Let me finish," he interrupted. "I'm fine, Pepper. I am."

"No, you're lying to me!"

"I will _never_ lie to you," Tony told her. "I promised, after what happened last time that I would never lie to you, or keep anything from you. I decided that as soon as I figured this out I would tell you. And I _did_ figure it out – this morning, I went to the doctor to figure this out and the plan was to tell you today but then Hammer happened and-"

"You went to the doctor?" Pepper asked, hardly believing her ears. Things were bad – and he was trying to cover it up.

"It's my chest," Tony blurted, tired of going around in circles. "My chest, it's been hurting every time I…I work too much or get stressed."

_The reactor. It's the reactor. The goddamn thing is killing him again and there's nothing we can do about it and—_

"But I got it checked out and it's fine – he said it's clotting and prescribed some shit-"

"Tony…" Pepper warned. _Specifics. Please_.

"He prescribed…warfarin," he finally admitted. "Said it would prevent my blood from clotting."

"So it's your heart," Pepper clarified, suddenly feeling dizzy.

Tony hesitated. "I don't think so."

"But you just said that-"

"The _doctor_ said."

"Well isn't that-?"

"I ran tests with JARVIS for a week and he didn't find anything."

JARVIS was law – even Pepper knew that. And immediately she began to doubt the doctor that had prescribed the medication. What if there was an adverse reaction? What if he was wrong?

"So why are you taking the warfarin?"

"Because I could be wrong," he said truthfully. And just by looking into his eyes, Pepper could understand his frustration – doubt was driving him now. And it was a foreign and terrifying sensation for him. She nodded once, grateful that he had told her himself, but now anxious.

"Pepper, I'll be back in just a few hours – I'm going to go and figure out what Hammer's trying to pull-"

She didn't even give him the opportunity to finish. "No! No, you-"

"It'll just be for a few hours-"

"No, Tony that's crazy – you just said that your heart-"

"There's _nothing_ wrong with my heart," Tony promised her. "Okay? I'm fine – they gave me something for it, remember?"

"I don't want you to-"

"I'll take care of it, and I'll be right back. Promise."

Her bottom lip twitched slightly in reply and Tony sighed sadly. "Pepper, don't look at me like that."

"Well, what do you expect me to do, happily watch you leave? To hell with Hammer, call the police and let them take care of it-"

"Right, because you know how well that's going to work. Please don't worry about it."

"Seriously?"

"I can't leave…unless I know you're okay with it," he admitted.

The answer to that one was easy. She quickly shook her head. "No."

"Pepper," he begged, desperately wanting, _needing_ her approval. And at the same time, he knew he had to act fast before Hammer made a move. Every second counted.

Finally she cracked, hesitating.

"Fine."

* * *

He didn't like this – he didn't like this at all.

The Justin Hammer Tony knew wouldn't have called Tony's house if his life depended on it – he didn't have the guts to try it. Hammer was the type of guy who would take out his enemy by sneaking up behind him – he fought dirty, not up front and in person. The call proved one of two things – Hammer had a bad ass plan that could cause some serious harm and just had to gloat _or_…the man had finally just gone crazy.

Tony suspected it was a mixture of the two, which was only worse. Crazy meant no inhibitions, that everything was fair game and that he didn't care about the consequences. What could they possibly do to him now, anyway? Put him back in the prison? Been there, done that. There was no real reason for him to _not_ try and pull off whatever stunt he had planned now.

Which meant that Tony had to watch his back. Sure he could take out the man in about 0.75 seconds flat, but Hammer, despite all his flaws, wasn't an idiot. He knew that, and he had still called. And _that's_ what worried him.

And from then on it was the domino effect. Tony's primary concern – Pepper. She was in danger now. He had known it ever since it had been revealed that Hammer had escaped from prison but the threat seemed closer now.

His second concern was probably even more worrisome than the first – would he be able to protect her?

He had to face the facts – if his heart was acting up, he really wasn't supposed to be running up and down like a maniac kind of like he was doing now. The stress from the last couple of weeks was going to hit him hard when it counted most and he was worried that he wouldn't be able to handle it when the time came.

No – no he _would_ handle it. He knew he would. He'd die before letting Hammer hurt her, and that's all that mattered.

Only one concern remained – just where the hell was he? Because the only thing he had found at Hammer Industries were two words painted with spray paint on the roof.

_TOO LATE._

_

* * *

_

Pepper, naturally, was even more worried about this particular trip Tony was making. So when she heard the crash downstairs in the shop, she just about jumped five feet. She rushed down to the workshop and by the time she reached it, Tony was already attached to the machines that removed the suit. Meanwhile, he was muttering a long stream of carefully constructed and colorful obscenities in a single breath.

She slowly walked toward him from behind, not sure what, or rather, how many things were pissing him off at the moment. But as she approached, she noticed that his teeth were clenched and his lip would twitch every now and then.

He was in pain.

"Tony, are you okay?"

He turned his head to face her, a difficult feat considering how resistant the robots were to movement. Almost in an instant, the bulging vein in his neck relaxed and he relaxed – or _tried_ to look relaxed. "Yeah, I'm fine," he told her as he impatiently waited to be out of the suit.

He was good – too good. He could pull of the 'I'm fine' act so well; if she hadn't known any better she would have believed him. But after his earlier revelation she wasn't fooled.

The machines finally let him loose and he tried to hold his balance. Pepper stood next to him, holding his shoulder and he just about collapsed on top of her, unable to hide it anymore.

"God, it _hurts_…" he moaned quietly, trying to stabilize himself.

"I know," Pepper told him as they sat on the couch in the shop, knowing that she was unable to comfort him. She could only let him know that she understood. "I know."

**review please! **

**xoxo,**

**me. **


	21. Chapter 21

**School is a bitch. But I need a degree so…my bad for the long wait.**

**This chapter's a bit different but I hope it works out, ya?**

**Chapter 21**

_**Monday, November 2**__**nd**__**, 2:45 PM**_

The warfarin had worked.

It had _actually_ worked.

Of course, there _had_ been that day he had passed out in the middle of the workshop and had woken up with a terrifying mixture of puke and blood by his mouth. He had his doubts concerning this whole warfarin medication, but for the last three weeks, his chest hadn't hurt at all. The pain was gone.

So three full months later, he felt great. He'd even started to get along with Pepper's mother – well, barely. _That_ relationship was more tentative than anything else but it beat pure hatred any day. Still, for the first time in months - completely pain free. Everything was perfect – except for the fact that Justin Hammer was still missing and on the loose. But now, so many months later, everything Hammer had said now just seemed like an empty threat, a guy who had felt like gloating. If he had wanted to do something, he would have done it by now. Weeks passed, then the months, and now Justin Hammer rarely crossed Tony and Pepper's mind. The police officials had been notified by then but still – nothing. And Justin Hammer had been forgotten completely.

And now other things occupied his mind – Pepper, their relationship, and just how serious things were. How serious _they_ were.

He loved her, more than he thought possible. And he wanted to be with her – forever. To be _hers_ – to marry her.

There. He said it.

He almost laughed. Who would have thought that Tony Stark of all people would willingly choose to settle down, to spend his entire life with one person? With one woman? Even _he_ hadn't seen it coming.

No, that was a lie – he had seen it coming. After Afghanistan, he saw himself as someone who finally was finished with the partying, the drinking and the meaningless sex. He was ready to think about the future. And he supposed somewhere in his soul, he had known his savior would be Pepper.

"The fundraiser that's being held in New York," Pepper said, interrupting Tony's thoughts. They were in his office at Stark Industries, finishing up whatever Pepper claimed was on the day's to-do list (honestly, Tony was sure she made some of that stuff up). She was on the phone but looking at Tony, expecting some sort of answer. "Will Tony Stark be attending that?" she asked Tony, clearly repeating the question the person on the phone had asked.

Tony shook his head nonchalantly. "No, thanks."

"Yes," Pepper answered with a small smirk. "Yes, he will be there – December third…thank you very much." As soon as she had hung up, she looked at Tony, a different look in her eye – demanding. "Hammer Industries," were the only words that escaped her lips.

And only one word escaped Tony's. "Nope."

Her expression changed, a relaxed softness in her eyes instead. "Tony…"

"No."

"They're either staying or going – and I personally think they should stay. The company has nothing to lose, it's an expected move that won't be questioned – the man's been missing for three months with the entire country searching for him-"

"The deal was that as soon as Hammer-"

"You know it's a decent move," Pepper told him.

"Fine," Tony said suddenly in agreement. She had a point, he supposed.

Pepper was silent for a few moments. She then eyed him, analyzing his expression. "Okay. You also need to write that speech for the MIT conference."

"Wasn't that supposed to be a couple months ago?"

"It _was_," Pepper reminded him. "But then you whined about how didn't know what you were going to talk about so I had it moved – to three weeks from now. And I don't plan on moving it again so don't even open your mouth and ask."

Tony frowned. Then he rolled his eyes and said, "Deal."

"And you have a meeting in fifteen minutes."

"I actually already knew about that one."

"What's going on?" Pepper asked, staring at Tony. "I just gave you three things you have to do and you didn't-"

"I'll get them done," Tony said, smiling triumphantly to himself as he left the office.

"Is this part of your 'absorb and deflect' plan?" Pepper checked. "Because you tried it last week and-"

"This is my 'absorb and actually do it' plan. But if you want, I can always refer back to the deflect plan if you like it better."

"I need you to sign this," she told him simply, handing him a few papers, watching him carefully. Was she suspicious? Of course – there had to be an ulterior motive here. Tony didn't just agree to do crazy things like write speeches because he thought it was the right thing to do. Still, she said nothing, stowing away this incident in her mind for future reference.

"Pepper, why are you looking at me like that?" he asked without even glancing at her. He didn't need to look at her to see that she was giving him the look that would make the guiltiest man on earth confess.

"I'm not staring at you at all," she said, cutting off the connection and handing him another page to sign. He made his mark and handed it back, smirking.

"Honestly, Pepper, just enjoy it. In another half hour I'll be just as difficult as usual."

"Hmm," she hummed to herself, still eyeing him. She rolled her eyes, deciding to just roll with the punches and see what happened. "In which case, you should get going," she told him.

"Why?"

"Because of the meeting you 'already knew about' – it's in ten minutes."

Tony rolled his eyes, and grimaced. "Fifteen minutes seemed so far away five minutes ago."

"Have fun," she taunted, walking back to his office, smiling to herself. _Beaming_ to herself, even. It was about time they were able to complain about meaningless board meetings and whine about speeches and conferences. It was about time they stopped worrying about important things and finally just had a break.

She had just walked back into the office when her Blackberry started to ring. She smiled again once she saw who it was. "Already calling for help? It's only been thirty seconds since I left."

"I can't go," Tony said suddenly.

"Go where?"

"To the meeting."

"The one in ten minutes?" Pepper checked, making sure her legendary 'I am royally annoyed' tone was seeping through the receiver.

"Yeah, that one."

"And naturally you want me to go for you and take care of it," she said, nodding to herself. Now she really _was_ annoyed. She had other thins to do and take care of that he wasn't going to do himself. Yes, she was his PA so she didn't really have a choice but she didn't like being taken for granted either.

"Please don't get angry."

"I'm not angry," she said. Angrily.

"It's not my fault…Fury called."

Oh. Well that changed things. "In the middle of the day?" she asked. In a split second she had gone from angry, to understanding, to frustrated. But her object of frustration wasn't Tony.

"So can you cover for me?" Tony asked instead.

"Do I have a choice?"

"I love you, you know that?"

"I really hope that's not the only reason you love me – for your sake," Pepper joked, grabbing her purse and heading out the door again.

* * *

_**Tuesday, November 3**__**rd**__**, 10:30 AM**_

She woke up the next morning in the same place – on the couch. The television was still on, albeit on mute and to top it all off, she was starting to drool on the couch.

In retrospect, she'd realize that was the first clue that there was something wrong. Even when she fell asleep in the living room, she never woke up there. She always woke up the next morning in bed, because that was where he'd take her whenever he got back.

_Perfect_, she thought to herself, noticing the drool on the couch. _Real classy, Pepper Potts._

"JARVIS…" Pepper moaned, the sunlight from the windows threatening to blind her. "What time is it?"

_Ten thirty-four a.m., Ms. Potts. But to put your mind at ease, there is nothing of importance scheduled for later this afternoon._

Pepper actually laughed to herself, sitting up completely, trying to wipe the remaining sleep from her eyes. She kicked off the covers and made her way to the only place she'd find Tony this late in the morning. But when she typed in her pass code and called for him, there was no answer. Dummy was startled out of sleep mode but that was just about the only acknowledgement of her presence she received.

That was the second tip that something was wrong.

"Tony?" she called again as she walked up the stairs. For some reason, her brain was unable to reason that Tony was _not _in the shop. Tony was never _not_ in the shop.

"JARVIS, where's Tony?"

_Mr. Stark was taken off the radar at approximately 3:32 a.m. _

What JARVIS had just said was relatively straightforward – but not for Pepper three and a half minutes after waking up._ I didn't ask when he was taken off the radar_. "English, JARVIS."

_Mr. Stark's precise location is unknown._

That made sense. Instantly.

Pepper stopped where she was. "What do you mean, you don't know his precise location?"

_Mr. Stark left the premises at approximately 3:14 in the afternoon in the Mark V suit. He was removed from radar at 3:32 the next morning._

She relaxed a little, but not completely, finally understanding; Tony hadn't come back since last night. And that was normal – well, relatively normal. There were times he wouldn't come back from a mission until two or thee days later, but considering everything that had happened in just the last few months, long-term missions had managed to evade him. This was just a wake-up call that he was back in action full time again. Usually, the first day was a sign that he'd be gone for a longer time. He wasn't home today, and he probably wouldn't be home for another two days.

Nothing left to do now except for wait. The longest he'd ever been gone was five days, and that was pure hell for Pepper. Not only because of the anxiety eating at her soul, but because of the other pointless things she had to take care of. Missed meetings, the press making up stories as to where he was, appointments and all other things useless and trivial. Pepper didn't care about any of it, but she still had to take care of it and cover for him. She knew what she was doing and how to take care of it, that's what everyone else saw. But inside, Pepper was really crumbling to pieces.

No, she thought to herself as she left to take a shower. There would be no crumbling to pieces today, or, if necessary, the next couple days. He'd come back in one piece – he always did, didn't he?

* * *

_**Thursday, November 5**__**th**__**, 3 PM**_

"Yes, Mr. Stark won't be able to attend the meeting at four this afternoon…yes, I'm entirely sure…I am aware…Well, for that I do apologize…I am aware it is a board meeting so either the meeting can be rescheduled entirely or it continues without him in which case I can provide him a copy of the minutes," Pepper muttered a hasty goodbye before hanging up completely. _Three…two…one_… Exactly on cue, her phone began ringing again.

_If it's that guy from Marketing again_, Pepper muttered angrily to herself. She checked caller ID and rolled her eyes, tossing her phone aside. It _was_ that guy from Marketing.

This was the day she'd spend sitting on the couch in the living room taking call after call. Maybe she'd order Chinese for lunch and try to sound as civil as possible by the time the sun went down, though she highly doubted that. By the time it hit six in the afternoon, she'd sound like she was PMS-ing.

Her phone stopped ringing and she welcomed the alien silence. A full minute and a half later and her Blackberry was vibrating again.

"Ms. Potts…I'm sorry, Mr. Stark won't be able to attend the MIT speech…yes, I'm aware that it's scheduled for tomorrow and that he has promised to…I'm sorry, I'm not permitted to answer that…I do apologize on Mr. Stark's behalf but unexpected occurrences have-"

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

_**Saturday, November 7**__**th**__**, 10:30 PM**_

She was waiting for him; literally waiting for him. She was standing in the shop, her bare feet touching the cool floor and her arms crossed over her chest. The shop was freezing but she couldn't bring herself to leave, still expectant. And what was worse was that the entire garage looked…dead, as if it hadn't been lived in for days. Granted, no one had been down here for days. She hated going to the shop when Tony wasn't around – it was like foreign territory. But now that she was down there, she had half a mind to move a few things just for her own sanity.

_It's been four days. He's supposed to be here. _Her arms were covered in goosebumps due to the cold but instead of leaving or at least getting a blanket – she stayed, completely motionless. _He's supposed to be here_.

This was stupid.

He'd probably come back at midnight, or much later in the night when she was asleep. That's when he always came back. She'd go back upstairs, fall asleep on the couch and the next morning, she'd wake up in bed, and he'd be asleep next to her…

That's what would happen. And that's what she told herself.

* * *

She hadn't woken up in bed. She'd woken up on the floor, next to the couch, having fallen off in the middle of the night.

No one was calling her anymore – no angry members of the board, no one expecting Tony Stark to make an appearance. She'd spent the last few days cancelling everything so there was nothing left to take care of. There were no distractions. So instead of keeping herself sane with pointless phone calls, she was stuck in an empty and deathly quiet mansion. By noon, she had realized she couldn't handle it and had gone out to run a few errands. But when she had come back, the same emptiness faced her.

Of course she had asked JARVIS where Tony was, but the AI had no idea – Fury had made sure of that.

Then there was the next day…and the day after…

Rhodey had called. Asking where he was, _expecting_ him to be home. Apparently he had a really funny story to tell but when she told him he was still out on a mission, she couldn't help but notice the obvious surprise in his voice.

"He's still out?" he had asked, shocked.

_It's fine_, she told herself. _It's fine, he'll be back._ "Yeah, I'll call you when I find out where he is, alright?"

Rhodey heard the anxiety – any sane person could have heard it. And hearing her own voice multiplied her anxiety tenfold. Distractions…she needed distractions…

She started going back to Stark Industries and was once again bombarded with questions and annoyances. But she hardly minded – they kept her busy, her mind occupied with things that didn't matter. She held it in for the public, almost convincing herself in the process that there was nothing to worry about. That everything was fine. And she almost convinced herself too, making it through the grueling hours.

Eight days, nine days…

Twelve days.

The phone rang two minutes before midnight.

"Yes?" she mumbled groggily.

"Pepper? Are you asleep?"

Pepper sat up immediately; sleep leaving her in an instant. "Tony? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I can't say, I'm just lucky I found a loophole in the connection system, alright? Are you okay?"

"Tony, I'm fine, I've just been-"

"You worry too much," Tony finished for her, and she could just about hear the smile in his voice. She sighed deeply, an entire burden finally lifted from her shoulder.

"I hate you sometimes," she told him instead, smiling to herself. "For making me worry this much."

"I'm...I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?" But she only caught a few of his words – already, the connection was shaky.

"What?"

"Where….are you…in…damn it!"

"Tony?" she gripped the phone tightly. There was something happening wherever he was – things exploding.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home-"

"No, but _where_?" he sounded desperate, almost pleading. He was worried they'd get cut off midway.

"I'm in the living room," she answered, not sure where this was going.

"You've been sleeping there."

It wasn't a question, he was just pointing out something he already knew.

"It doesn't matter where-"

"_I_ don't want you there," he clarified honestly. "You don't need to wait for me, I always come back."

Pepper was silent for a moment, not sure what to say or what to feel. What was she supposed to say to that? What was there to say? This man could read her like a book – even hundreds of miles away. "I…"

_Bee—ee—p_

Pepper held the receiver up to her ear, even though she knew the call had dropped. Then, very slowly, she replaced the phone and remained where she was – on the couch in the living room.

It didn't matter whether or not she slept on the couch when he was gone, right? What was the big deal? Yet, as she tried to convince herself that there was no reason for her to take what he had said to heart, she couldn't help but mull his words over in her thoughts. And as she contemplated, her limbs began to move on their own accord, leaving the living room and finding the room she had avoided for the last two weeks.

She curled up under the sheets, feeling incomplete. She could _smell_ him in the sheets, though he'd been gone for weeks and it didn't seem right for him to not be there with her. This wasn't the same as the nights he came home late from a meeting, or he had stayed up until three in the morning, idly passing time in the shop. To Pepper, he was just gone.

Pepper closed her eyes, breathing deeply. When she focused hard enough and ignored the emptiness on the other side of the bed, she could convince herself that he was there.

The very next morning when she woke up, she realized she had succeeded. She had convinced herself. And when she turned around lazily to nudge him that morning, she found herself patting aimlessly at the air around her. Caught off guard, she turned to find his side of the bed empty, exactly the way it was the night before.

Pepper turned back around, facing away from the emptiness. And for the first time since he'd left nearly two weeks ago, she finally allowed herself to shed a few chosen tears that had kept locked up and hidden.

* * *

_**Tuesday, November 17**__**th**__**, 8:15 AM**_

_This_ morning was different. She woke up with something heavy wrapped around her waist. She didn't comprehend the sensation at first, groggily and slowly turning her head to figure out what was going on.

His mouth was hung open and it looked like he was digging his head into the pillow. The side of his face that wasn't in the pillow was covered with a giant and probably still growing bruise and a jagged cut along his hairline was also visible. There were dark circles around his eyes and Pepper could immediately tell that he'd spend the rest of the day in bed asleep. But she was fine with that – she could deal with that. He was fine, healthy, bruised, but overall – safe. She lay on her back and gently wove her fingers through his unruly hair, careful not to awaken him.

Pepper still wasn't sure what she would ever do if he was gone from her life. She loved him. She needed him.

She was nothing without him.

**The end. No not really, but that's the end of this chapter. Review please! I know my updates aren't as often as usual but hopefully when Thanksgiving break rolls around, I'll update like a madman to make up for it, alright? **

**Again, review please. Forgive my late updates, ye kind readers. And may a wasp not find its home in your underwear.**


	22. Chapter 22

**GUESS WHAT? My one year anniversary for FanFiction . net was October 31****st****! It's been a year since I joined the site! I didn't realize that until a couple days ago. WOW**

**Ok, belated two-second celebration is over.**

**A purposely short(er) chapter – I felt it necessary. Plus, I don't know if I wrote this chapter as well as I would have liked – I had trouble with it :/ you can tell me how I did.**

**Chapter 22**

_Jesus Christ_.

She remained in the exact same position, hoping that if she didn't move for a while, she'd finally stop dry heaving into the toilet bowl. There was obviously nothing in her system to expel and yet she had felt nauseated for the last half hour. For the last half hour for the last three mornings to be particularly and painfully precise.

_Slowly_, Pepper warned herself as she held on to the sink counter. At a snail's pace, she moved each foot so her weight was shifted onto her feet and not on her knees and gently lifted herself up. Granted, a few false alarms were thrown in there for good measure but nothing else. Finally, once she was on her own two feet, she ran the tap water and immediately splashed her face, hoping to just ride the remaining remnants of nausea out.

* * *

Tony wasn't at home. And he most certainly wasn't at Stark Industries (not by a long shot). Instead, he was calling up the restaurant where he had booked a table for two – just to make sure they hadn't done something stupid like forgotten about it. And he was definitely breaking every law known to man as he sped down the highway.

He was as nervous as hell – and nervousness wasn't an emotion he was used to, or even understood. To Tony, nervousness was synonymous with sheer terror, and right now, that's what was coursing through his veins as he rushed to make it to the reservation on time.

Sheer terror.

Apparently, nervousness was a completely normal emotion that most people experienced on daily basis. At least, that's what Pepper told him but he was sure she was exaggerating. Nervousness to this degree should be illegal.

Once he had confirmed the reservation, he hung up, throwing his phone on the seat and crossing three lanes in three seconds in order to reach the exit in time.

He had to make it in time because everything boiled down to the next half hour. Everything that happened next would determine his future.

Who ever thought he'd really be the type to commit? To anyone, but most importantly, to _her_. To Pepper.

He still thought about it, how the possibility of them ever growing into anything beyond their slightly dysfunctional employer/employee relationship/friendship was next to nothing. She'd worked for him for years – she knew him better than anyone else in the world did – including his many flaws. And he was positive his flaws easily outnumbered anything even relatively decent about him anyway. What could she have possibly seen in him to begin with?

And the truth was, he hadn't changed all that much. He was _slightly_ more responsible but that was really it. Yet, she still loved him. She _loved_ him. And without a doubt in his mind, he knew that he loved her.

That's why he was doing this. That's why he had gone out of his way to reschedule a Stark Industries meeting and was actually making it a point to get to a more important reservation on time. Because this was more important. Because _she_ was more important.

He pulled up in front of the small restaurant, immediately tossing his keys to the valet to take care of. He would have preferred to do this at a place an even smaller but simple place, but being Tony Stark, he wasn't awarded the privilege of privacy. And if he wanted the next thirty minutes to go by as well as he wanted, interruptions had to be avoided. And the high profile restaurant that was only open for lunch five hours a day was the best place he could think of.

"Mr. Stark," the maitre d said, nodding to him and leading him to his reserved table. Tony immediately guessed she hadn't arrived yet and for that he was grateful. At least he had a few minutes to mentally prepare.

"Anything to drink?" a waitress asked.

Tony took a quick glance at the menu, not really paying attention to anything and quickly rattled off the name of two drinks, putting the menus aside to peruse later. The waitress was off in that instant and just as she left, Tony spotted just the person he was waiting for. She was standing at the entrance, talking to the maitre d and Tony immediately stood up and made his way toward them.

"The next thing you know, they'll be asking for your social security number," Tony joked, eyeing the maitre d coldly, yet reserving a much warmer smile for Vanessa Potts. "How are you?" he asked her, embracing her quickly and Vanessa finally seemed at ease.

"She doesn't have a-" the maire d tried to explain.

"She's fine, I told you Ms. Potts would be on her way," he warned him, as he led Vanessa towards the table. On the way over, he rolled his eyes, obviously slightly ticked.

"I take it the service isn't why you like this restaurant then?" she asked.

"Absolutely not," Tony told her with a smirk. "But since they're only opened for one meal a day, five days a week I don't have to deal with the traffic."

"You mean the people," she corrected.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Same thing," he said, causing her to laugh lightly.

_This_ he had no problem with. Conversation – yeah, he could do conversation. It was what was bound to follow afterwards he was going to have trouble with.

* * *

The dichotomy between logic and wishful thinking was is profound sometimes.

Wishful thinking told Pepper to go the doctor to figure out why she had felt so sick for the last few days. That whatever bug she had was only going to get worse if she didn't get any medication. It probably had something to do with her _not_ sleeping at all for the past couple weeks thanks to Tony two-week trip to God knew where a few weeks back and all the Stark Industries backlog that came after as a result. She needed to just sleep in for the next couple days.

Logic told her to stop being ridiculous.

_Think, Pepper. Think._

She needed to be sure. She needed to be one hundred percent sure before she started thinking about it so seriously. But naturally, the assumptions were already forming and accumulating in her mind, adding the numbers and dates, going back in time mentally to see when.

Assumption one: she was pregnant.

And the immediate follow up question: how did she feel about it? How would _he_ feel about it? How would he respond?

_Stop_ – no assumptions. But how _did_ she feel about it? About being pregnant, with his child? _Their_ child?

She didn't know, she couldn't answer that because she had no way of feeling anything until she knew how _he_ felt about it first. What would he say? Was he ready for a baby?

Or what if he didn't want the baby? He wouldn't tell her that, she knew he wouldn't. But she would be able to see it in his eyes – there would be surprise, and then that mask.

That was it – that was her biggest fear. Seeing that dark mask that shrouded his eyes. She could vividly imagine the scene unfold; his eyes would become like stone and she would be left speechless –and hopeless, unable to think. That he wouldn't want it, but that he'd have no choice. Then the shroud that had appeared would, just as quickly as it had come, immediately disappear; replaced with warmth. False warmth. And in his eyes, he would see a happiness and excitement she knew was false but that he portrayed so well. That was what she truly feared.

They hadn't talked about the possibility – not seriously, not ever. Getting married, having children…they'd never talked about it before. And now…_this_. A baby would either bring them together or tear them apart.

She didn't even _know_ what he would say, for God's sake. Just that not knowing…

_Stop_, Pepper warned herself again. But still, her mind kept driving onwards relentlessly.

She wasn't giving him the credit he deserved. He had changed ever since he had come back from Afghanistan, and even more so after they had started dating. He wouldn't admit it and he probably didn't realize it, but he wasn't the same. The world had gotten bigger and he wasn't in the center. He was that much more responsible but even more importantly for her, he cared. Of course, he had always cared – that was never questioned. But she could see it now. He was willing to make this work. He cared enough to try.

She could stay with him. She could envision a life with him. She really could. But did _he_? Was he ready for the commitment, or more importantly, did he want to commit? Again, they had never really talked about a future, nothing long term. Not seriously anyway.

No, Pepper thought to herself, finally keeping still. The thought grew stronger and stronger in her mind, enveloping her. _No. No!_ He was different. And he _was_ ready for commitment; he had proven that time and time again within the last two years. Iron Man, Stark Industries, dating…he could commit, and he could be (and, to an extent, was) responsible. It wasn't that she was worried that he didn't love her – she knew that. It was the responsibility and the commitment. That's what she was really worrying about. And when she thought about it, there was no reason at all to worry.

This was what assumptions were doing to her – they were driving her nuts. And it could all be in vain. Maybe she wasn't pregnant. Maybe it was just a false alarm and the fish they served at the last meeting really hadn't been cooked properly – Pepper _had_ suspected at first but Tony was sure she was being paranoid.

Either way, sitting here thinking about it wasn't going to prove anything.

"JARVIS, what time is it?" she asked, contemplating.

_Twelve thirty four, Ms. Potts_.

Tony would be out of his meeting at two, but knowing him, he'd find a way to skip out early, maybe get out at one thirty or so. If she rushed and got out of the house now, she'd have her answer well before then.

She couldn't handle the not knowing any longer.

* * *

Considering the many ways things _could_ have gone wrong when Tony's mouth went unsupervised, things were going pretty well. _Take that, Pepper. I do have a filter between my brain and mouth_. He actually wasn't sure he possessed that filter but judging by the amused, civil, and even pleasant smile on Vanessa Potts's face, he didn't only possess, but was capable of using it effectively.

Win.

The pair had made it through the entire lunch and Tony had yet to drop the inevitable bomb, not sure when the best time was. Vanessa had to know what was coming, he was sure of it.

Small talk, small talk, interesting discussion, then more small talk. A never-ending loop. Lunch was ending, and he hadn't said it yet.

He'd actually put a fair amount of thought into the entire thing. Of course, his first uncertainty was whether or not to ask – not for permission, but for a blessing. Tony wasn't exactly Mr. Traditional but considering his rocky start with Vanessa, he finally decided it was the best way to at least keep the pair of them on speaking terms. That way, if she suddenly decided she didn't like Tony _that_ much, he'd at least know that he had warned her. He wasn't a _complete_ asshole.

_If someone came up to me three years ago and said I'd be in this situation, I'd bet my hot rod _and_ the new Audi that they were lying. _

"Tony," Vanessa said suddenly, smiling to herself, as if honestly amused. "Despite how spontaneous and impulsive as you are I'm ninety percent sure you didn't want to call me to talk about the weather." She looked at him reassuringly and in that instant, Tony knew that _she_ knew. She knew _exactly_ what he was going to ask. And she had still come. "What's on your mind?"

_I'm not going to die_, Tony thought to himself, mentally prepping himself, the nervousness returning even though he now had no rational reason to be nervous.

"Vanessa," he started, once a comfortable silence had finally descended upon the pair. "I want to marry your daughter…"

* * *

Half an hour later, her heart racing, Pepper found herself staring. Just staring and waiting for it.

_Come on, come on, come on…_

What was she hoping for? What did she even want? And as she waited for the answer, she realized suddenly that she didn't know what she wanted. And in an instant, fear coursed through her entire body, shaking her at the core.

She didn't know what she wanted.

And it only added to the fear. It was different to not know what to expect, to not know what Tony would think or feel either way, but to have no idea what she herself desired had the potential to tear her apart.

In the few moments that remained for her to wait, a million thoughts flooded her mind.

Positive.

What if it was positive?

Yes, she wanted a baby. The thought _actually_ brought a shy smile to her lips. It was only vanquished when she considered Tony and if that was what he was ready for. She knew he wasn't afraid of commitment, but this was different. What if…

Or negative. It could be negative and it could all be a false alarm. Things would go back to normal, and she'd be able to think clearly. But then she'd think about all the thoughts she had kept to herself throughout the last few hours. The doubts she had about a man who had earned her trust long ago, and she'd feel embarrassed about how she had felt, that in the face of uncertainty she had fallen and shown no mercy. That she had accused him of things she knew he would never do. That she, for those few hours, had chosen to not believe in him.

That was worse – much worse.

Her answer appeared in her shaking hands. The truth.

_Oh, God._

**Our favorite Gwyneth on Glee? HELL YES! :) LOVE! 3**

**Ok, so maybe that note had nothing to do with Ironman, but hey – I get excited.**

**For those of you in the states: Hope your Thanksgiving was amazing! And if you participated in Black Friday, hope you found what you were looking for!**

**For those of you NOT in the states: Psh…**_**Americans**_** and their crazy traditions.**

**And not matter where you are…Review please and tell me how I did. :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Pretty speedie update considering how busy I've gotten, lol. And naturally, these wonderful things called exams are waiting for me towards the middle of the month so I need to sneak in as much writing time as possible until then! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 23**

Pepper had been completely out of it for the rest of the day, unable to focus on any specific task. Pepper was sure that keeping herself busy would keep her mind full and vacant all at the same time. Full with useless information and thoughts that didn't affect her in any way – don't forget the food in the microwave, remember to call Stark Industries, the list went on and on. But her mind would remain free from thoughts about the pregnancy test result, or more importantly, the emotions she had harbored up until she discovered the truth.

Still, the worry remained as she waited for Tony to return. What would he say? What would he think? She wasn't even sure how to start, how to explain herself…

There was always another option, though.

She could choose to say nothing at all; to not tell him. Not yet, anyway. There wasn't a rush and she didn't have to say anything when he got back. She could give herself a few days to prepare, to figure out exactly what she was going to say – and when she was mentally ready, she could say it.

It was a good idea, a decent idea. Pepper knew she wouldn't be lying to him and it technically wasn't keeping secrets if she planned on telling him eventually. She was just putting it off a day or two.

Yet, the guilt remained, even if she chose to put off the truth. Before she had gotten the test result, she had descended into that state where she didn't trust him, when she had doubted him. And that guilt remained with her, reminder her of past experiences. Past experiences where she hadn't trusted him and everything between them had almost shattered right before her own eyes.

Experiences like that one night she had burned his letter; because she had chosen not to trust him. That night of the benefit, when she had seen him with another woman and then later realized that everything she had seen had been a lie.

A day hadn't gone by when she didn't think about that night. And it wasn't the memory of what she had seen in the hotel room that haunted her, but how she had reacted. She should have trusted him and listened to him. Given him the credit he deserved – he had earned her trust. That's what that night had shown her. And Pepper had vowed to never doubt him again.

And then there was this morning and the pregnancy test – and she had descended back into that state. She had doubted him, refused to trust him. And now once more, she was filled with regret. And guilt. What was wrong with her? Why was it so difficult for her to trust?

No, that wasn't it – it wasn't so difficult to trust. She _did_ trust him. She just feared…change? Change as well as that insignificant doubt tugging at the corner of her heart.

She just needed to calm down, let her mind rest, even if it was only for a few hours. She'd tell him. The truth.

Pepper was so entrenched in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard Tony enter the house.

_I'll do that_, Pepper thought to herself with a sense of finality. _I'll tell him about it later. _

She yelped suddenly just as Tony's arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up from the floor, twirling her around for a few seconds.

"Tony!" she shrieked, as her left slipper, flew off into some arbitrary direction. Despite the worry and anxiety she had just delved into, she managed to laugh lightheartedly. "Tony, let me down!"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Tony yelled obnoxiously, pretending not to hear what she had just said. "I should do what?"

"Let me down!"

Tony shook his head, hoisting her up higher so she was resting on his shoulder. "I don't think I can do that," he said simply. And without a single hesitation, he made his way downstairs towards the shop.

"Tony!" Pepper yelled again trying to kick her legs. But he managed to hold them down, smirking.

"Say 'uncle'," Tony demanded instead, laughing as he punched in his code.

"Uncle!"

"Already? Without a fight?" Tony pouted. "That's dull."

"Tony, if you don't let me down-!"

Before she finished her sentence, Tony dropped her on the couch in the corner of the workshop, collapsing on top of her. He looked up at her, raising an eyebrow, taunting her.

"Someone had a good day," she said, watching his expression carefully. He said nothing, his lips curling up in that 'I know something you don't know' way. Nothing would make him this excited.

Except…

"Wait a minute," Pepper said, realizing something. "Did you skip the meeting? What time is it?"

Tony chuckled rolling off her and onto the floor beside the couch. "Why do you always assume I must have done something terrible for me to just be happy?" he asked childishly.

"Because that's the only time you're over 'just happy'," she said eyeing him. "You _did_ skip the meeting, didn't you?"

"I moved the meeting to later today. So technically, I didn't skip anything."

"You moved it?" Pepper asked, stunned. Now this was definitely much more intriguing – as well as worrying. Tony didn't 'move meetings'. He ignored them. What would make him do a crazy yet responsible thing like that? "Why?"

"Because I wanted to, Pepper," Tony said, rolling his eyes nonchalantly. "Would you have been happier if I had just skipped it?"

"It…would have been expected," Pepper quickly played – very carefully. "It's when you do crazy, unexpected things like this – that's when I freak out. I'm not sure what to make of it."

"I'll make it up to you. Next time – I'll just skip without warning."

"No!" Pepper said quickly, sitting up. "No, I was just kidding."

"Oh, no, irresponsibility is no problem, I assure you," Tony said, smirking.

"But it's a problem for _me_."

"Because, I mean, if you insist-"

Pepper pushed him once, causing him to rest on one hand, laughing. "You're not funny," she said simply.

"I'm not trying to be funny, I'm not laughing. Am I laughing?" Tony asked – ironically, while laughing.

Pepper knew exactly how to get him back. She smiled and said, "So when's the meeting that you rescheduled?"

Tony's smile immediately disappeared and instead, he glowered at Pepper who remained amused. "It's in two hours," he muttered angrily. But then his eyes brightened again and he pointed at Pepper. "_But_, moving the meeting was a responsible move. Which means I have one _irresponsible_ freebie left. And I can use it on this meeting and not show up."

"You can't move a meeting and then not show up," Pepper said. But just as the words escaped her mouth, she knew exactly what he was going to say in reply.

"Watch me."

"You're going," she said, as if that was the end of the discussion.

He buried his face in her stomach. "Pepper…" he moaned, pouting angrily.

Pepper smiled to herself, petting his hair but her heart had just fallen. The few minutes with him had caused her to forget what had been worrying her before. But now, his head resting on her stomach…she was remembering again. Remembering the pregnancy test she had taken just hours ago and even worse, the doubts she had held against him. And now here he was – almost as if he was teasing her. He looked up at her sheepishly, still thinking about his meeting but immediately noticed the changed look in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, immediately sitting up.

She shook her head, trying to look as casual as she had just moments ago. "Nothing," she told him.

He frowned at her, suspecting. It wasn't the meeting – that wasn't what had caused her countenance to change so much, he knew that. Something was worrying her. Something she was keeping a secret. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she assured him, sitting up as well. "I'm just a little tired."

"Are you still sick?" he asked suddenly.

Pepper was caught off guard for a moment and she felt the muscles in her throat clench. "What?" she croaked.

"You were sick yesterday but you told me you slept it off," he explained. "Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine," Pepper said. "Promise. Hey, you're the one who threw me over his shoulder and lugged me down here, I'm not in the best of moods."

Tony laughed and shrugged. "If I promise to go to the meeting, maybe that will change your mind?" Tony suggested.

"Would you look at that, I think the skies have opened and the birds are singing," Pepper said sarcastically. Tony laughed, and buried his face in her stomach again. He looked up and again noticed that strange look in her eyes.

"No," he said, sitting up to face her properly. "No there's something that's bugging you," he said, looking at her.

"I'm not-"

"What is it?" he continued anyway. "You can tell me, you know that, right?"

_Yes…I should know that. I _do_ know that_. But at the same time, she couldn't take those things in her head out in the open. Not without contemplation at least, and for that, she felt ashamed.

"Pepper…"

She couldn't hide it anymore, she knew something was up. But she couldn't tell him either. Not yet, anyway. But there was something else she could tell him; something else that had been bugging her.

"Tony…" she started hesitantly. "Do you…do you remember the letter you wrote me? During the palladium?"

He nodded. Very slowly. "Yes."

"Well…I was…I was just wondering if—I thought maybe-"

"Why is this coming up now?" he interrupted, trying to understand with her.

"I don't know," Pepper confessed. "I just…I thought about it today and I was…I just started thinking about it and-"

"Pepper, you don't have to keep thinking about it-"

But she interrupted. "I want you to write it again," she said suddenly, blurting out the truth just like that.

Tony was rendered speechless. He hadn't expected that. So instead of saying anything, he just stared at her, completely taken aback. His gaze searched her eyes, trying to understand. Just to understand.

"Tony, please say something," she begged. She shouldn't have brought it up. She shouldn't have said anything.

He hesitated before asking the inevitable. "Why?"

"I don't know. I remembered what happened and I just felt…I felt terrible about it. There's no…_real_ reason for me to want it; I know that. But I feel as if just having it would…would help me…so that maybe I won't do something stupid or…"_ Like how I am now. I'm doing something stupid now by not telling you the truth._

"It's fine," Tony said, holding her hand. "You don't need to keep beating yourself up for what happened that night, that was long ago. It wasn't your fault, you did _nothing_ wrong."

"I know that but I still…I don't know," Pepper said, looking down at her hand within his. "I…I don't know, I'm probably just…sentimental, I guess."

"I…can understand that," Tony said, and Pepper finally relaxed.

"But I'm not going to rewrite it," he added.

Pepper looked at him, stunned.

"Pepper, you don't…need to hold on to memories like that. _I_ don't want you holding on to memories like that. You don't need to keep remembering nights like that and going through this over and over again. I'm going to be here for you. Always. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know that, Tony," she said, her eyes downcast. "But the letter doesn't remind me of that night."

"No, it reminds you of the palladium poisoning, and that entire _week_. And you don't need to keep reliving memories like that either."

Pepper finally looked up at him, immersing herself in his eyes. "It reminds me of when I first realized I loved you. And it reminds me of when I first realized you loved me. _That's_ why it's important. That's why I need it _now_. Before I needed it because I didn't want to take you for granted. And that's still true. But now I need it because I _need_ to remember. I don't want to forget. And…I need to make things right. And doing this is the only way I know how to you."

"It's _already_ right," he said, taking both of her hands. "_This_ is right – you don't need to fix anything."

She shook her head, uncertain. "Tony…I can't ignore it…I _need_ to remember," she repeated.

Just by looking into his eyes, she could tell her words had hit home, that he now understood. He sighed once. "Do you think I have it completely memorized?" he asked, almost sarcastically.

She hesitated before admitting, "I have it memorized."

He let out a sharp breath, as if he couldn't believe his ears. He smiled slightly - sadly, rolling his eyes. "Come here," he said, standing up, her hand in his.

He led her towards the main desk in his workshop, pulling out a single sheet of paper from the printer. Pepper reached for a pen but he shook his head firmly. Pepper looked at him, not sure what he meant.

"It wasn't that one," he explained and instead, he pulled out a pen from an open drawer as he sat down.

Pepper sat down beside him, her heart pounding in her chest. But before she could even start reciting it for him, Tony began writing, the words flowing from his pen without ceasing and without a single hesitation. The same words that were on the letter she had burned so long ago. She stared at him, unable to understand and finally, when she could comprehend, opened her mouth.

"I thought you said you couldn't remember-"

"I never said that," he said simply, recalling the words from memory as he wrote.

_Pepper…I chose to write your letter last. Writing it would have been accepting the end—_

Tony didn't think it was possible for him to simply forget. Just like how it was always impossible to forget the memories he wanted to completely purge from his mind. And that night when he had written this letter…he was sure he would rather forget it.

…_but I couldn't make myself do it and I was scared to say goodbye…_

The emotions that were latched on to the memory were painful more than anything else. Confusion, desperation, hopelessness…and that terrible sense of time and the realization that every second that went by brought him that much closer to the end. In retrospect, he realized that being given a week to die was more terrifying than dying suddenly and without warning. He could get hit by a bus the next day but as of today, he didn't know about it. So he didn't fear it. Ignorance was truly bliss. And what was worse was the knowledge that he would have to leave her.

_I want to thank you, Pepper. For sticking with me all these years..._

Now he was forced to remember. And he didn't want to.

_And he once asked me if I had a family, or someone to come home to. I told him no, but I now know that's a lie. I had you. I have you._

He couldn't do this. His hand stopped, visibly shaking, unable to continue.

"Pepper…" he whispered, almost begging.

She almost changed her mind. She was being selfish – couldn't she see how much this was hurting him? It was more painful than she could possibly imagine.

_Okay_, she thought to herself. But she hadn't realized she had actually voiced another word until it was too late. "Please…"

She needed this. She needed it more than even she could understand. Pepper needed it because she had been the one to throw it out – and now this was the only way she could think of making it right. She'd done everything in her power to make up for it, to show that she was sorry and that she trusted him but this was the last missing piece.

She needed it more than anything.

"Tony, please…"

And he couldn't say no. It was one of the few serious things she was asking him, the one thing she desperately needed now – and he couldn't ignore that.

_I love you._

So he kept writing anyway, saying nothing. Tony knew that if he said something, he might change his mind; that the fear and memories would envelop him again and he'd stop. So he pressed on until he reached the end, completely silent. He was doing this for her. Because he loved her, and he understood that for whatever reason, this was what she needed.

_I love you and goodbye,_

_Tony._

Even after he had written the last word, he remained silent and Pepper let out a sharp breath she had been reserving. One of the computers beeped near the back but other than that – silence.

He finally looked at her and saw that she was crying, quiet tears running down the side of her face and past her cheeks. Tony brought his hand up to her face, gently wiping away her tears.

With his other hand, he pushed the letter aside and then took her hand. "Pepper," he said, looking for her eyes. She finally shifted her gaze from the letter in the corner of the desk towards his warm, dark brown eyes.

"I will _never_ leave you."

**Sooo…ummm….are you wonderful, glorious people still there? And…what did you think of this one, eh? This chapter was actually supposed to be a bit longer but I realized that a scene meant for this chapter would fit SO MUCH BETTER in the next chappie which has now definitely upped my motivation.**

**Review prease! I love you all! Reviews inspire The Muse.**


	24. Chapter 24

**And…we're back to normal length chapters! Lol. I love you too. Here we GO!**

**Chapter 24**

"You left it at home," Pepper said as she walked out of Stark Industires and into the garage. "You forgot the papers at home and now you, naturally, want me to pick it up for you before the deadline."

"_Please_…" Tony begged, pouting even though she couldn't see him. But he did hear her laugh.

"Well…I _guess_ since you're my boss I'm obligated to pick it up for you."

"Pepper, you're a doll-"

"As your girlfriend…" Pepper interrupted quickly, raising an eyebrow as she dug through her purse for her keys. "I'm obligated to chastise you for leaving it at home when you _knew_ I had to get the information in by today."

"I forgot."

"Yeah, you forgot," Pepper said, rolling her eyes.

"I said I was sorry."

Pepper stopped for a minute, frowning to herself as she unlocked her car door. "You never apologized."

"I just did, that counts, doesn't it?"

"No!"

"Oh."

She laughed a little. "I'll be back soon which means _you_ have to let them know the information will be coming in a bit late. They won't yell at _you_ at least."

"I love my job."

"Right," Pepper said, rolling her eyes. "I'll see you soon." She hung up and threw her phone on the passenger seat before stepping inside herself and throwing her purse next to her as well. She slammed the car door, mentally charting the fastest route back to Tony's place and started the car.

Things were working out despite the fact that her guilt was still eating her up regarding the pregnancy test she had take three days ago. She also hadn't told Tony about it yet so now she was balanced on a dangerous precipice.

She couldn't keep putting it off.

She pushed the thought aside as she started the car and checked her mirrors, about to reverse.

That was when she noticed the figure in the backseat.

She didn't give her mind time to process the shock before she let out a sharp, high-pitched scream. Almost in an instant, the figure's right clamped down over her mouth, pulling her entire head to the side. His other hand was at the base of her neck, pulling her towards the opposite direction. She immediately felt the uncomfortable pressure and the panic within her escalated, her heart threatening to shut down. Instinct, told her to break free and she tried to yank his hand away from her mouth, clawing and squeezing his fingers as hard as she could.

"If you don't stop moving, I _will_ snap your neck," the man seethed warningly in her left ear. A sharp shiver went up Pepper's spine and even though every neuron in her body screamed, _"Don't stop moving!"_ her muscles clenched tightly and she froze instantly.

She inhaled and exhaled quickly and sharply through her nose, eyes wide and her pupils dilated.

"Now, you're going to move into the back seat…slowly…that's right…"

She started shaking and without blinking, she slowly let go of his hand feeling the seat behind her and attempting to lift herself up. _This isn't happening, this isn't happening…_ she blinked once for a full second, expecting herself to wake up or find herself back in the office with Tony, or on the phone talking to him. But she remained exactly where she was, this stranger's hand clamped over her mouth and holding on to her neck threateningly.

"That's it…see, that was easy wasn't it?"

Pepper wasn't listening to anything he was saying though – instead, she focused on breathing, feeling, and _not_ passing out. But before she could prop her knees on the seat to move back, Pepper was forcefully dragged backwards, her shin slamming into the steering wheel before she landed in the back seat. Panicked, Pepper screamed into the man's hand, trying to pull his arm away.

"Hey!" the man warned.

His hand was at her neck in that uncomfortable position again, but he was pulling harder – much harder. She closed her eyes and her screaming and struggling stopped immediately.

"You're a real screamer, aren't you?" he asked rhetorically and Pepper squirmed under his grip. But before she could get a good holding, his hand shifted, covering her nose completely.

Pepper didn't think her panic could escalate – but in that instance, it did.

She didn't care if his plan was to snap her neck in half – it would be less painful than pure suffocation. So she screamed into his hand – struggled, kicked, clawed, everything she could think of and anything possible. But he suddenly didn't seem so eager to break her neck and he allowed her to squirm helplessly.

_The window_, she thought to herself as she tried to aim her kicks a little higher. Maybe someone passing by would see; she would make more noise that way.

"I know it's uncomfortable but if you'd calm down, I'd find it a lot faster. Then we can both be on our merry way."

Her lungs burned and she felt lightheaded, her kicks becoming increasingly feeble but she continued to claw at his hand and the first tears fell from her eyes as the situation finally hit her – hard and completely. She was going to die. Here, in her car, virtually in the same building as Tony.

Tony.

_He'll be okay, he's going to be fine…_

"Well, look what I found, huh?" she heard the man say – but he sounded light years away. And just as she felt the sharp prick in her neck, she passed out, Tony's face filling her mind.

* * *

"So you lied?" Rhodey checked with his friend.

"For a good reason," Tony explained. I actually _do_ need those papers, but not until much later – we pushed the due date back last minute and Pepper didn't know. And by then I should be at a meeting I'm skipping so it all works out."

"Hm," Rhodey hummed, unimpressed. "I still can't believe you didn't want me to come," he complained.

"Rhodey, you don't know what the hell you're doing," Tony said with a roll of his eyes.

"My best friend is about to propose and he doesn't want me around when he picks out an engagement ring!"

"That's not true," Tony said, already asking himself why he had agreed to let him come along.

"But that's what you said!"

"No, I said that you don't know anything about engagement rings."

"What do you know about engagement rings?"

"More than you," Tony deadpanned.

"Oh, like hell. Face it – having me around, is better than having no one around."

"I'm…not so sure about that, actually."

"Everyone knows you're supposed to bring _someone_ with you when you buy an engagement ring. Rule number-" Rhodey paused as soon as they walked in. It was the middle of the day but this was a private jeweler who only opened by appointment, and for certain people – people like Tony for example. So there wasn't supposed to be any one there with them. But there was one other person waiting for him in the otherwise empty store. She was peering in one of the glass cases and Tony obviously knew her, judging by the _not_ surprised look on his face.

Rhodey just looked at his friend, angrily and obviously jealous. "Who is she?"

"Pepper's sister," he said, a scheming and triumphant grin on his face. "So yes, I do know about that rule that says you should bring someone with you." And with that smartass look of his, he immediately went to Liz's side. Rhodey rolled his eyes but followed him.

"You find anything?" Tony asked Liz after greeting Liz and introducing her to Rhodey.

"What about this one?" Rhodey suggested, pointing through the glass case.

The response that came from Tony Stark and Liz Potts's mouth was instantaneous. "No," they both replied – simply and simultaneously.

"What's wrong with it?" Rhodey asked, sure they were just being picky because he had been the one to pick it out.

"It's ugly," Liz said, wrinkling her nose.

"The diamond shape is off-"

"The band is too wide-"

"It's loud-"

Liz nodded, agreeing. "Too flashy."

"Pepper hates flashy-"

"Alright, alright, I get it," Rhodey interrupted, rolling his eyes. He looked back down through the case, noticing another one. "What about-"

But Tony and Liz had caught his eye and discovered which one he was looking at. They both looked horrified before replying with a direct and abrupt, "No!"

"Well, what's wrong with it?"

"Are we looking at the same thing?" Tony asked. "Honestly, and you wonder why I almost _didn't_ bring you."

Liz tried to hide an amused grin as the three of them continued to search. And each time Rhodey brought up their attention, his idea was immediately and swiftly shot down.

Fifteen minutes later, Rhodey pointed out to Tony, "Well, it's not like _you've_ found anything."

But for the first time since their search began, Tony didn't make a remark. Instead he was silent, looking down at a particular ring with the strangest look in his eye – a look Rhodey was sure he had never seen before.

"That one," Tony said simply and Liz scurried over to his side to look. Rhodey saw that same look slowly form in Liz's eyes as she smiled. A look Rhodey couldn't put a name to.

But when he came around to take a look, he frowned, not seeing the big deal. "It's…"

"Tony, take this one," Liz said, already imagining it on her sister's finger.

Rhodey decided to say nothing and instead, he just looked at it, _trying_ to figure it out. It was pretty no doubt (but then again, most of these looked pretty to him), but it wasn't as…

That was it – it wasn't as loud and flashy as the others. It was simpler, much simpler – but elegant at the same time. Pepper wouldn't want anything annoyingly flashy but something like this was hard to find. Something as _stunning_ as this once you really looked at it. It really was perfect.

"This one," Tony repeated, smiling to himself. "This one."

* * *

The first thing that came back to Pepper was her hearing – and she heard absolutely nothing. For her, it was only proof that was awake, alive at the least. But her sight failed to return and she immediately assumed the worst. It wasn't for another few seconds that she realized she was blindfolded, feeling the fabric tied tightly around her head.

_Tony needed me to pick up…pick up…papers, papers from the house. And I was on the phone and I left to—_

Her heart did a somersault in her chest as bits and pieces flooded into her mind, trying to gather as much information as she could without her eyes. But when she tried to stand up, she paid more attention to where her _body_ was.

She was tied to a chair; she could tell that much, with a tough and coarse rope, her hands tied behind her. She could feel the rope tugging at her from different angles – her feet, her legs, her stomach. And for the first time, she noticed the sharp pain in her wrists and realized that the rope was slowly cutting into her.

Pepper tried to make sense of everything. She remembered the few words her captor had said and it didn't sound like his primary motive was in capturing her – in fact, he didn't seem to care at all. Someone else was pulling the strings, and she'd probably figure out why as soon as she knew who it was.

"Looks like someone's finally up."

Pepper inhaled quickly but refused to scream and she stayed completely still. The voice was coming from directly behind her, maybe a few yards back. Her heart raced and every nerve in her body was ready and prepared for anything. _Stay calm, don't panic, stay calm, don't panic…_But she wasn't calm, and God knew she was panicking. But she maintained her illusion, her jaws clenched.

"Oh, Ms. Potts, I'm hurt, really, I am. I thought you'd be a little more polite after our last encounter. I mean, the least you could do is say hi, am I right?"

She said nothing, her tongue sealed to the roof of her mouth. She knew exactly it was and she silently kicked herself for not guessing sooner – much sooner. Who else would it have been anyway? Who else would willingly set everything up but hire someone to carry out the actual dirty work? And who else had she publicly disgraced and ruined?

Maybe she should have been more worried – she knew this man and what he was capable of. But that was _exactly_ why she wasn't so scared after all. Justin Hammer was a lot of things but worst of all, he was dangerous when he didn't get what he wanted. He had broken Ivan Vanko from prison and hid the man for weeks _just_ to build suits so he could embarrass Tony; for petty reasons. He didn't think before doing things, he always forgot about the consequences and he never made plans in case something went wrong.

But that could be dangerous – for Hammer, things went wrong a _lot_. What if whatever he was planning now didn't work out the way he wanted? Would he just grow desperate? Or would he admit defeat and try something else like he usually did?

The one thing that eased her mind was that she knew that whatever happened, she would be all right. She would live, because Hammer wasn't a murderer. He couldn't kill; he didn't have the guts to. It was the one thing that was working in her favor.

She felt a small amount of pressure around the back of her head but she remained completely motionless as the blindfold was finally removed. She quickly squinted at how bright everything was. The walls were white and the room was well lit by fluorescent lights. The only thing that dashed her hopes was that there wasn't a window.

But as soon as Hammer came around to face her, her facial expression changed and she glowered, ready to face him. But again, she was faced with another surprise.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting – maybe the eye's of a madman, a sign of desperation or insanity. Did she expect him to have a full-grown beard by now? But instead of any of that, he was…well…he looked healthy, fine, as if he had never seen the inside of a prison cell. He was shaven, his hair looked exactly the same and he was wearing his signature glasses. But instead of the business attire she had always seen him wear (and an orange jumpsuit she had initially imagined in her mind), he was wearing blue jeans and a collared shirt. And to top it all off, he was eating a lollipop.

"I go out of my way to find you and you won't even say hello?" Hammer asked in that childish voice of his.

"What do you want?" Pepper asked, glaring at him coldly.

"Me? Not much. I'm a simple person," he said as he walked to the corner of the room. Pepper watched him carefully, for the first time noticing the table in the corner as well as the telephone. A telephone…there was some hope.

"I don't want to play games, Hammer," she spat angrily, purposely pushing his buttons.

Hammer looked at her, for the first time a slight frown appearing on his face. He quickly walked up to her and for a moment Pepper worried she'd already gone too far. Maybe he _was_ going crazy.

"Ms. Potts…" he sang quietly, bending down to meet her eye level and she could tell he saw the fear in her eyes. "I don't think you're in the position to be difficult with me, now are you?" he asked quietly.

She said nothing, holding her breath. But just as quickly as his mood had changed, he changed back to the nonchalant man from a few seconds ago. "Besides, I'm tired of the games too." He stood up and backed away from her, sitting down at the table. He propped his arm up, resting his head in his hand as he talked to her. "So how about we get right to it, that would be nice for a change, wouldn't it?"

Pepper's fear, however, hadn't come back down from the momentary high. "Yes," she whispered.

"Quite frankly, Pepper," Hammer started as he bit into the lollipop and Pepper noted the use of her nickname. A nickname only _Tony_ used and could ever use. Her anger quickly returned and Hammer continued. "I don't care much for you. You're not my problem."

"So let me go!" Pepper demanded.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Hammer said, wagging his lollipop at her with his free hand. "No interruptions, Potts. _You're_ not my problem, but you caused me a bunch of problems. Prison, for example. So naturally, after I got the hell out of there, I thought to myself, 'How do I get back?' because, let's face it, Potts – I'm screwed. My entire empire is about to become part of your boyfriend's playground and there's nothing I can do about it. I've got nothing to work for except how to get you back."

She was panicking again. Panicking because everything he was saying made sense, and she couldn't find a loophole. _There's going to be a loophole, something he's missed – and I'll go from there_.

"So, then, I thought – well, I could kill her."

Pepper's heart stopped.

"But that's no fun, and where did I end up after that? Another dead end. Then I thought, all right, let's take this from another perspective. I hate Anthony. I could kill _him_." Hammer shook his head and with a wave of his hand, dismissed the idea. "That would be a tough one considering all those suits he carries around with him. I'd have to find a bunch of snipers and set them up around his house, yada, yada, yada, and all the fun would be taken out of that one too. You see what I'm getting at, here? No direct solution."

Pepper said nothing, her heart racing. _There's going to be a loophole, I'm going to get out of this…_

"And I realized something," He bit off the other half of the lollipop and threw the stick towards the other end of the room. "I don't need to kill either of you to be happy. I just need to see one of you suffer. I need to watch one of you go down just as hard as I did – I need one of you to fall, just as hard and just as quickly as I fell. And you fall harder when you're higher up, right? So..." Hammer picked up a pen from a mug on the desk and twirled it around, sliding it along the desk. "Why…don't I make _him_…fall?" He flicked the pen and it went flying past the edge and onto the hard, marble like floor, clattering a few times before an uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"And that's just it, Pepper," he said, smiling. "That's the plan – I make him fall. I publicly embarrass him. Just like you publicly embarrassed me."

"So why don't you do something to me?" Pepper asked, already panicking and worried for Tony's sake. What could he possibly have planned for Tony? "If it's my fault why don't you make me pay for it?"

"Oh, don't worry, Pepper – I can call you 'Pepper', right? Don't worry, Pepper, you'll pay for it," Hammer said, winking. And just as he did, he pulled out something from behind the desk that Pepper hadn't noticed before and immediately knocked all the air out of her, as well as the hope.

"Claridge hi-tech semiautomatic pistol," Hammer explained, lifting it up and examining it like a child would do a new toy. "It's not one of mine," Hammer quickly added, looking at her terrified expression. "So I can't help but notice the details the manufacturers' missed but…" he stopped and fired in an arbitrary direction and Pepper screamed once as noise echoed in the room over and over again. Pepper saw the bullet hole in the opposite wall and stared at Hammer, for the first time, truly frightened when she saw his face.

"But it gets the job done, doesn't it?" Hammer said, completing his sentence before firing again, this time at another wall.

_There is no loophole. This is it. He wins this time._

"But don't worry too much, quite yet, Potts. I won't be hurting you with this thing any time soon."

_Tony…Tony please be careful. Please be careful…I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth before. Now I wish I did, I wish I told you the truth. _

Another shot. The sound startled her and she kept expecting one of them to find her.

What had been their last conversation? She was relieved to recall that they hadn't been angry. They hadn't been arguing. She'd left on good terms. _Tony, I'm sorry. I love you and I'm sorry_.

She waited for another gunshot, her eyes closed. But when none came, she opened her eyes and looked at Hammer who was smiling and pointing the gun at her.

"So…" Hammer said as he swung the pistol around and then threw it back on the table. "How _have_ you been, huh?"

* * *

_**5 hours later…**_

_This is Virginia Potts, personal assistant to Mr. Tony Stark. Please leave a message along with your name and contact information and I'll be sure to contact you as soon as possible._

"Pepper," Tony started, holding his head as he leaned on the kitchen counter. "It's me…again…I'm getting really worried, can you call me back as soon as you get this? I love you. Bye."

He threw his phone aside and held his head with both hands, panicking. She always picked up her phone without fail, and when she didn't, she called back within a few hours max. This wasn't good – this couldn't be good. There was something wrong, he could feel it.

"JARVIS, you're _sure_ Pepper didn't come home any time within the last five hours?" Tony asked.

_I have nothing on record_.

"Were you offline any time in the last five hours?"

_I have been online for twenty-nine consecutive days, Sir_.

"Shit," Tony thought to himself, scratching his head, worried. He couldn't just stay here and wait. Maybe he was worried over nothing, but he couldn't simply explain away the nagging feeling in his heart. Something was _wrong_.

He reached for his phone again and dialed a different number.

"Hello?" Rhodey answered.

"I don't know where she is," he said immediately, his feet shuffling restlessly beneath him.

"She's still not back?" he asked, surprised. Tony had called three hours ago worried but Rhodey had told him to calm down. _It's normal for people to disappear for two hours at a time, Tony. Chill._

"No, I called but she didn't pick up – no one knows where her car is, it's not at Stark Industries-"

"She could be fine, you might just be worrying-"

"NO!" Tony screamed angrily. "No, I'm _not_ just worrying, God damn it! She hasn't called in hours, I have no idea where she is, JARVIS has no idea where she is, no one has _any fucking idea_ where she is!"

"Tony-"

_Incoming call from Stark Industries, Sir_, JARVIS interrupted.

Tony's heart leapt. "Answer it," he demanded.

"Mr. Stark?"

"Yeah?" Tony answered, tapping his desk, anxiety gripping him.

"Sir…uh, Mr. Stark we just went through checking the garage cameras and we found a decent shot of Ms. Potts' car-"

_I knew I should have integrated JARVIS into the main system at Stark Industries_, Tony silently complained. They wouldn't have this problem if JARVIS was there as well.

"Sir, it appears there was some sort of struggle in her car before it left the premises."

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ Tony thought to himself. "How do you know there was struggle?"

"Well…because…about fifteen minutes prior, someone broke into her car and remained there until she arrived."

His heart stopped and he forgot how to breathe. Tony had never experienced dread and pure fear like this – not when he was in Afghanistan, not that first time he saw the arc reactor in his chest and not even when he realized he was dying of palladium poisoning. This was different – this felt like he had died twenty times in one minutes; but even worse.

"Mr. Stark? We've already notified the police-"

"Hello? Hello?" Rhodey repeated on the other phone. He had heard the entire thing.

Pepper was missing – kidnapped. And it was his fault. He couldn't do this. He couldn't handle it by himself anymore.

"JARVIS…" Tony said at almost a whisper. "Hang up, assemble the suit and call the police…get into the Stark Industries mainframe and analyze a copy of the tape."

_Pepper_. His ring…no, _her_ ring was still in his pocket. _I'll find you, Pepper. I swear I will._

**So for those of you wondering what the hell I did with Justin Hammer – well, there he is. :)**

**Read and Review, please! They'll keep me happy during exams! :)**

**Love, **

**Me.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Finally done with exams! Yikes – I slept for about twelve hours total over the last three or four days but I'm done! And now with a full month off, I can continue writing! :) I know. I'm amazing. Lol , I just be joshin' you! :) I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 25**

Rhodey had never seen him like this.

After Stane had died, SHIELD had gone through the tapes that were made when Tony had been in Afghanistan and in the process, Rhodey had seen them. And even though seeing his friend in such a situation was terrible enough, he couldn't help but notice how…_composed_ Tony was. He was terrified and confused – you could see it in his eyes, but he maintained an outward demeanor of composure and self control, you'd think he'd already established a plan of escape in his mind right there on the spot. And when he had almost died of palladium poisoning, he'd lost hope and given up many times. But he was still Tony; he was still his friend and he could understand him.

This was different.

He had _never_ seen his friend like this. There was this new wild-eyed look on his face – like he was lost, abandoned and thrown into a deserted island forced to fend for himself. Tony never lost his cool – he was always able to handle himself despite the situation but he was losing it, slowly unraveling. And even though most people wouldn't have guessed it, Rhodey, who had been his friend for years, could see it easily.

Police officers had flooded in and out of the house multiple times throughout the rest of the day and within hours, Tony had chosen to ignore them completely, deeming them incompetent. Instead, Tony had continued his own search with the help of JARVIS, tracking everything including her cell phone, license plate number and credit cards. The police had been forced to ignore him as well and focus on Pepper's family instead. And it wasn't long before Vanessa and Liz placed all their hopes on Tony – having more faith in him than even the police. And for them, Tony remained strong and certain that they'd find her.

Now at four in the morning, Tony couldn't sleep. It was impossible to sleep knowing that Pepper was missing, having no idea where she was. For the time being, there was nothing left for him to do except to wait, and doing just that was beginning to drive him insane.

Common sense told him that maybe once he was inside a bed, he'd manage to get some sleep. But the truth he was repressing was that not only was it impossible for him to sleep due to the stress, but that he didn't _want_ to sleep. He didn't want to close his eyes.

His imagination had gone wild for the last few hours. What had that jackass done to her – he knew exactly who "that jackass" was. Who else could it be? But was she okay? Was he at least feeding her? Did he hurt her…?

He closed his eyes and dug his face into the pillow on the couch, trying to shut that last image out of his mind. He didn't know what he would do if she found her and she'd been hurt, hurt in ways he could never fix. What if…

No, he told himself as he shivered. _No._ She was going to be okay – she was going to be okay because he was going to find her.

_Sir, there's an incoming call from a private number_.

Tony opened his eyes and slowly reached the phone by the table beside him. Rhodey was asleep in one of the guest rooms and the last thing he wanted to do was wake him up.

"Yes?" Tony answered plainly, in a tone that was completely unlike him – monotonous and dead. He was incapable of feeling – of feeling anything except a pure and heart wrenching sorrow that threatened to devour his soul.

What he heard next was enough to drag him out of any catatonic trance he was in. A sharp bang that shut out the speaker for a split second, followed by high pitched muffling and grunting. The initial bang startled him and he immediately sat up, gripping the phone tightly as his brain processed what he had just heard.

That's what it was – a shot.

"So how are you doing, Anthony?"

Time froze and the only thing Tony could hear was the ringing noise in his ears. Not from the shot but from the frustration and anxiety within him threatening to break loose. He gripped the phone even tighter, his knuckles turning deathly pale. But even in the face of fear, anger managed to arise and he exhaled slowly through his nose, the frustration inhibiting even his own breathing.

Tony's response to Hammer's obnoxiously pleasant voice was simple, yet his tone reflected every emotion within him. "Where is she?" he seethed through his teeth and for the first time, he realized he was shaking. Literally shaking.

"Why is everyone being so rude, lately? All I said was-"

"Tony, I-!"

His heart stopped at the sound of her voice. But nothing else escaped her lips and all he heard afterwards was a muffled resistance and Pepper tried to say something under some sort of gag. The thought of her being tied or restricted fueled him with an insurmountable rage as well as fear. "Pepper? Pepper!" He yelled into the phone, as he rushed down to the shop, tripping over the coffee table which came crashing to the floor.

"Yeah, _now_ I get your attention," Hammer replied sarcastically, as if insulted.

"I swear to God Hammer," Tony threatened, his heart racing as he angrily stepped foot in the workshop. His voice shook and wavered angrily and his breath came in short bursts. "If swear to God, if you hurt her…"

"I don't mean to be a _total_ douchebag when I say this but…" Hammer laughed once to himself. "Honestly, there isn't _shit_ you can do to me right now."

"JARVIS trace," Tony spoke up as Hammer's voice was transferred to the workshop speaker's. He immediately, threw the phone he was holding towards the floor. Then to Hammer, he simply demanded, "Let her go."

"No," Hammer sang obnoxiously.

"I will _kill_ you if you don't let her go!" Tony yelled, feeling his pulse pound in his ear. "This isn't a game-"

"Am I laughing?" Hammer suddenly yelled, almost as angrily as Tony. "Does it sound like I'm laughing?" And before Tony could even answer, he heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot.

Tony's heart stopped.

"Pepper!"

Nothing, not a single sound from the other line and for a terrifying and heart wrenching moment, Tony thought that was it. He'd killed her – and that was the only reason Hammer had bothered calling; to kill her and force Tony to watch, or in this case, listen in.

"Pepper!" He screamed, on the verge of either passing out or crying. He wasn't sure. But he heard something shift on the other end and more muffled, and slightly annoyed, screams.

"Don't test me, Stark," Hammer warned him and Tony finally exhaled, his entire body still shaking from the initial shock. "I can get rid of her in the blink of an eye – don't _test me_."

"Where is she?" Tony yelled back, hardly comprehending the words coming out of Hammer's mouth.

Another shot, but this time Pepper heard the muffled scream and movement afterwards.

"Pepper!"

"Tony, it's—" Pepper. That was Pepper.

Another shot.

"—fine, it's okay, Tony-"

Another shot.

"Tony!"

Another muffled scream and Tony could hear her struggle before another shot rang.

"God damn it, Hammer, stop it! Let her go!" Tony yelled. _God damn it_, Tony thought to himself as grabbed a hand full of his hair and formed a fist. The anxiety was getting to him – he was losing it, physically and emotionally losing it and he wasn't sure how much more he could take before he broke down.

He couldn't break down, though. And he knew that – he couldn't afford to break down because he needed to be strong for her. She'd be fine – he'd make sure of that.

"What do you want?" Tony finally asked, as if in surrender and Hammer laughed again – and for the first time, his laugh sent shivers down Tony's spine.

"Cooperation, right? Trying to get in my head, see what I want? You want her back don't you?"

"Don't hurt her, please don't hurt her-"

"And that would be the begging, am I right?" Hammer taunted and Tony could hear the smile in his voice. "Tony Stark reduced to begging…God, I love this."

_Address acquired_, JARVIS interrupted.

"Assemble the suit," Tony instructed, then to Hammer, he cried, "What do you want?" Tony yelled, but this time there was no anger in his voice, no frustration, no resentment. A simple cry of desperation. Total vulnerability. "She did nothing to you, tell me where she is and let her go!"

"Tony, this one isn't about you," Hammer said simply and Tony cringed at the use of his shortened name. Not Anthony, not Stark – _Tony_. Hammer was controlling him. "She ruined my life, my career-"

"What do you want, the company? I don't need it you can take it back. I can pull some strings, get you out of prison-"

"Don't you get it? That means _nothing_ anymore! You're too late, Anthony! No matter what you give me, the company will never be where it was, my name's already been ruined, there is _nothing_ left for me!"'

_That can't be it, there's got to be something. Something he wants…something I can make happen_, Tony thought to himself, his mind rushing through possibilities faster than ever before. "No, that's not it-"

"Forget it, Anthony! I've already accepted it. So in this case, revenge really is the only answer."

"So do whatever you want to me," Tony begged. _Not her, please not her_. "Not her…let her go, please, leave her alone…"

"I can't do that, Tony," Hammer said, and Tony sensed an apologetic tone. A false apologetic tone but it was there nonetheless. And it frightened him.

"Hammer, don't-"

"Tony?"

Tony's words caught in the back of his throat at the sound of her voice.

"Pepper, it's going to be okay, alright? You're going to be fine, it's going to be fine-" He spoke quickly, trying to convince her as well as himself.

He heard her exhale slowly, almost painfully as she tried to compose herself before speaking. Her breathing was shaky and unstable. "Tony…"

There was no fear in her voice – just acceptance. And that terrified him. "Pepper, it's-"

"Tony, I love you so much," she interrupted, and he could immediately tell that she was crying.

_No_…No, it couldn't end like this. It wouldn't. "Pepper, you'll be fine, you're going to be fine…"

"It's going to be alright, Tony, okay?" She told him as her voice shook. "You're going to be fine – promise me."

"Pepper, no, you're-"

"Don't…don't do anything crazy, don't do anything stupid, promise to be careful-"

"Pepper, don't say that-"

"Be careful, alright? It's going to be fine if you're careful-"

"You know," Hammer interrupted – but all Tony could really hear was her quiet crying in the background; almost silent. "I really hate to do this. She's a great person really."

"Hammer…Justin, please," Tony begged as he gripped the side of the table. His heart was about to explode in his chest as he shook uncontrollably, staring at a blank computer screen. There was no point in trying to don the suit now. JARVIS had coordinates that Hammer was at least half an hour away if he used the suit – Hammer had all the power now – and Hammer knew that. "Please, don't…"

"The famous Iron Man – Tony Stark," Hammer said, as if hosting an event. "Finally reduced to begging."

"Please, don't do this…I can give you anything you want, I can do anything you need me to do, please…"

"Shh, Tony…Tony, it's going to be okay. You're going to be _okay_," Pepper pleaded with him. "Please."

"It doesn't take much, does it?" Hammer prodded. "To push you over the edge? All I had to do was point a gun at your girlfriend and you willingly came tumbling down. And once she's gone, they'll be nothing left for you. I'll be the one to bring you down – just like she brought me down."

"Please don't hurt her-"

"Say goodbye, Tony-"

"God damn it, Hammer – let her go, for the love of God-!" He was screaming now, on his feet, still holding on to the table to steady himself.

"Tell her goodbye, Tony," Hammer prodded. "Tell her it's going to be alright-" Tony heard the gun cocked and he jumped as his breath escaped him in erratic bursts. "Tell her you love her, tell her she's going to be okay."

"Tony, listen to me-" Pepper said over him.

"Go on…tell her, Tony-"

"Tony, I love you. I love you so much…"

"No…Pepper, no, I won't let you go…" he begged, his voice shaking as the tears escaped the corners of his eyes relentlessly.

"You're everything to me-"

"Why won't you say goodbye, Tony?"

"Hammer, stop!"

"—I'm sorry for ever doubting, for all the times I never believed in you-" Her voice was shaking and laced with sorrow and as he heard her, Tony's entire body shook as he cried, knowing that he had lost. This was it, this was the only woman he had ever loved being ripped away from her in the worst way possible.

Not like this…please not like this.

"Pepper, don't say that-"

"Tony, I-"

"I love you so much..." he finally whispered, staring at the blank screen. He wanted to…no, he _needed_ to see her face just one more time. But all he saw was a dark reflection of himself, his face tear stained and eyes bloodshot red. He couldn't say goodbye. He didn't know how.

Hammer wouldn't kill her.

Even in a hopeless moment like this, he tried to convince himself that she would be all right. Because the fact of the matter was, if she wasn't, he wouldn't know how he would survive. How he would see the next minute, the next hour…how he would make it through another twenty four hours knowing she was gone, killed, and that there had been nothing he could do about it.

"Hammer, please," he begged again, desperately. _Please don't take her away from me. I can't do it, I don't know how._ "What do you want, tell me what you want? The suits? Do you want the suits? Software…JARVIS can-"

"I'm sorry Tony," Hammer said simply. "There's nothing of yours that I want now. You're too late."

"I will give you _anything-_"

"Tony, please-" Pepper spoke up, hardly a whisper.

Tony hesitated, his voice catching. "Pepper-"

"Tony, talk to me…please, just-"

She was scared – now he heard the fear and it only tore his heart into smaller pieces; being forced to hear that fear and sorrow in her voice. "Pepper, it's okay, I'm right here…I'm right here…"

Pepper exhaled slowly, shakily, as if trying to calm herself. "Okay…"

"Pepper…" He felt her name on his tongue, tasted it just by saying it. "I love you, Pepper-"

"Tony-"

"Virginia," he finally said. "Virginia…" And again he broke down, holding his head in his hands as his body shook. "Hammer, please…"

"Shh…Tony, Tony, it's going to be okay…it's okay…I love you…"

"I love you too, Pepper…please, don't-"

"Tony, I-"

The gunshot this time was infinitely times more deafening than the other gunshots he had heard combined. It shook his entire body and he felt the vibrations reverberate down his spine. He remained completely motionless for a millisecond, unable to comprehend and understand, incapable of assimilation of what he had just heard.

"Pepper!" he yelled, but there was nothing this time. She was silent and he heard Hammer throw the gun somewhere – maybe onto a table or the floor, but it didn't matter. Because she wasn't there.

"Pepper?" he yelled again, unwilling to accept. "PEPPER!" He screamed even louder, so loud that his own voice echoed in the workshop, bouncing back. Silence – nothing save for his own screams and sorrow. "PEPPER! No, please…Pepper! _PEPPER_!"

He didn't know what he was begging for anymore; a miracle perhaps, or maybe a reason to continue living. And as he screamed and mourned, his grief fueled a power he had not known he possessed – furniture was toppled, papers flew around the room and his computers came tumbling down the floor in loud crashes. They meant nothing to him anymore. It was all meaningless, because none of them had helped him when he had needed them most. He had failed her, because of these. His inventions, his genius mind, all of it had contributed to her end.

He hated himself.

He wasn't sure when Rhodey appeared behind him, but suddenly, someone was pulling him back, holding his arms and trying to pull him down towards the floor. And in Tony's sorrow induced haze, he didn't understand why – and he resisted, trying to break free, trying to escape to….escape to what, exactly? What was left for him?

"Tony!" Rhodey repeated his name multiple, trying in vain to get his attention, just to calm him down even if it was only for a few minutes. "Tony…Tony, stop…Tony…"

And just like that, Tony lost his willpower. His resistance ceased and he went limp, allowing his knees to buckle as he approached the cold floor. Rhodey held on to him, following him down to ground level.

"She's gone," Tony whimpered, crying like a child. "She's gone and I did nothing…he killed her and it's my fault…_God!_"

"Tony, just…it's…I'm…" but what could he say? What was left for him to say?

Tony buried his face into his friends shoulder and cried, wanting to die. He couldn't remember a time he had ever wanted something so badly. Why was death, something that had searched for him multiple times in the past, now evading him when he needed it most? "She's gone," he blubbered helplessly. "He killed her and she's gone…"

"I'm sorry, Tony…"

"It hurts…" he cried, as his body shook against his friend. His shoulders jumped up and down, trying to keep up with him. "She's gone and it hurts…"

* * *

When Hammer had explained his plan, she had refused. She couldn't do it, it was physically impossible for her to do this. She couldn't hurt him, not like this.

"You'd better kill me, Hammer," she had told him. "You'd better kill me now because there's no way on Earth I'm going to help you with this. I'll die first."

"I can just as easily have him killed right before his time. This way, at least he'll live."

"You won't be able to get your hands on him," she had replied cockily. She knew JARVIS – nothing could pass him. Systems and programs had tried but all in vain. JARVIS was an insurmountable fortress and Hammer wasn't the kind to break a barrier so many before him had failed to conquer. He lacked the imagination. "You won't be able to get past the programs."

"That may be true," Hammer said, nodding to himself. "But there's one thing I know for certain. And that's that he'll be willing to kill himself in exchange for your life. Now can you deny that?"

She hesitated. "What do you want, Hammer? The suits?"

"Forget the suits, all I want is his pride. Or to yank that from him. And how better to do that than to yank what's most important to him?"

"He'll kill you."

"No, he won't. Listen, Princess, you don't have much of a choice but to play along. If you're alive, I can control him. I can make him give me thirty suits or do a quick tap dance, whatever I want. He will be _mine_ until I let you go. And by controlling him, I can just as easily kill him. But…if you're out of the equation entirely and forever, then I've lost all leverage. So the truth is, in sacrificing yourself, you'll be saving him."

"But you want to let me live – why not kill me and accomplish your goal?"

"Let's face it, Ms. Potts," Hammer said, as unwrapped a lollipop. "I'm a lot of things – but the one thing that's managed to make it off my list is murder. I for one, would like to keep it like that for as long as possible."

There was something he wasn't telling her – something important and vital. But before she even had the chance to question him properly, he was already dialing the number and the voice of the genius she had fallen in love with, came through the speakers of the phone.

"Yes?" he answered. He hadn't been sleeping – the groggy tone that was usually there was absent.

Pepper's heart immediately melted but she forced her mind to work. So what was her plan of action? She didn't know Hammer's motive and she hadn't even agreed to aid Hammer in his plan, and yet, Hammer had dialed the number. And immediately she understood why.

He knew what she was going to choose. She loved him too much. And even though she didn't know what Hammer's ulterior motive was, she knew there was only one real option if she wanted to save him.

Then the first gunshot.

He fired at one of the walls in the back, far away from Pepper but by now, she was used to that. Hammer was absolutely correct when he said he wasn't a murderer, so he used another weapon to his advantage, a more powerful weapon – fear.

"So how are you doing, Anthony?" Hammer had taunted.

_Keep quiet. If I'm quiet then he'll be fine_.

"Where is she?"

It was Tony – the first time she had heard his voice in hours and she was fueled with new drive. She wouldn't keep quiet – she would fight. Hammer started saying something else but Pepper swiftly cut in.

_He needs to know I'm safe, that I'm all right._ "Tony, I-" she started. But just as quickly as the words escaped her lips, Hammer made his way towards the back of her chair and covered her mouth and nose, with one hand.

_Not again_, Pepper thought to herself as she tried to break free.

"I swear to God, Hammer…if you hurt her…I _will_ kill you…if you don't let her go…"

_Tony, don't do anything stupid. Please, don't do anything stupid._ She silently begged and suddenly, Hammer's hand left her face. But before she could say anything, he stuffed an old bandana into her mouth and she immediately gagged – she could taste the dust.

"Am I laughing?" Hammer suddenly yelled and without hesitation, he fired at the wall again and Pepper jumped, trying to push the bandana out of her mouth with her tongue.

More gunshots. "Pepper!" Tony yelled after her painfully.

"Tony!" she yelled back over the gunshots. They were coming in a never ending stream now, but always shot at the opposite wall – never directed at her. Hammer was just trying to get to Tony; this was his way of making him suffer.

"Tony, I'm fine, it's okay, Tony. I'm fine-" she tried to explain, but she knew her words were being cut off each time the gun went off. She could only hope that her voice was enough to give him the hope he needed, even if it was going to be dragged from underneath him in just moments.

"What do you want, Hammer?" Tony finally asked when the gunshots had subsided, and Pepper sighed sadly, sensing the change in his tone. And Hammer sensed it as well.

"Cooperation, right?" he teased. "You want her back, don't you?"

"Don't hurt her, please…"

"And that would be the begging? Tony Stark reduced to begging…"

She wanted to say something, anything, but her words had been stolen from her the moment Tony had fallen. He just wanted her; that was it. And hearing that brutal honesty, knowing that he was willing to give himself and all that he was for her…maybe she should have been happy to know just how much he loved her, or touched. But instead it saddened her, because she knew that the moment he tried cooperation with Hammer, Tony had lost. And now Hammer would do everything in his power to win and in the process, drive Tony insane.

_Tony don't do this – not for him, and not for me._

"What do you want?" Tony yelled again and Pepper closed her eyes, feeling the tingling sensation that always came before the tears. It hurt to hear him like this and the pain dug deep within her. This was something she had never seen, this new vulnerability and fear; and it pained her to witness it now.

"So do whatever you want to me…not her…let her go, please…"

She couldn't do this anymore, she couldn't just sit back and listen to…

Her thoughts stopped as she slowly opened her eyes, the final motive of Justin Hammer finally illuminated in her mind. This _was_ the plan. To drive them both past the brink of sanity. To force them to listen in on each other's anguish and know that there was nothing they could do about it. His plan was to unravel them both, watch them descend into that terrifying state of despair. And his plan was working.

"Tony?" she whispered. She needed to talk to him, just talk to him. And as soon as she said those words, Hammer pointed the gun at her.

So he _was_ going to kill her after all. He had just wanted to make sure she played the part. Well, she had participated just as he had wanted, and now she was going to have her say – just to him. Just to Tony.

"Pepper, it's going to be okay…you're going to be fine…"

"Tony…" she repeated his name, knowing it would be her last time to do so. She had lost that fear in her voice because she had finally accepted her fate. And all she wanted now was Tony's promise that _he_ would make it through all of this. That he would move on.

"Tony, I love you so much…" she whispered. "You're going to be alright if you're careful…you're going to be fine – promise me…"

She could hear him crying, hear the shaking in his voice and she immediately felt broken. "Pepper don't say that, please…"

"Be careful, alright? It's going to be fine…"

"I really hate to do this," Hammer interrupted cockily. "She's a great person, really."

"Hammer, please…" Tony begged. And the tears poured down Pepper's face in even greater pools.

"Shh, Tony…" _Ignore him, don't listen to him. I'm right here._ "Tony, it's going to be okay. _You're _going to be okay," she pleaded with him.

"Say goodbye, Tony…"

"God damn it, Hammer!" Tony screamed suddenly, crying and Pepper jumped, shaking as she listened to him quickly unravel, losing his own mind and sanity.

"Tell her goodbye, Tony…tell her it's going to be alright…"

"Tony, listen to me..." Pepper said, trying to get his attention. She needed him to just accept. "I love you so much."

"No…Pepper, no, I won't let you go…"

"You're everything to me…I'm sorry…" And just like that the apologies came pouring out of her. But she refused to apologize for not telling him the truth earlier – the truth about her pregnancy test. She couldn't do that to him, not now. It was likely that he'd never find out too, and for that she was grateful. She didn't want to leave him with that knowledge.

He had gone back to begging Hammer, offering everything and anything he could think off, but Hammer wasn't taking any of it."

"Tony, talk to me…please, just…" Pepper tried to get through to him, the fear finally taking hold of her. She didn't want to die alone – she needed to hear him.

"Pepper, it's okay…" he said quietly and Pepper nodded slightly, _actually_ believing him. "I'm right here…I'm right here…Pepper…I love you, Pepper."

She whimpered not ready to leave; not ready to leave _him_.

"Tony-"

"Virginia," he finally said and immediately she lost it, crumpling in her seat.

"Tony, I love you-"

"I love you too, Pepper…please, don't-"

"Tony, I-"

The shot had gone off and she was silenced, waiting for darkness, warmth, cold, whatever it was that was supposed to envelop a person in their final moments. But nothing came. She turned to Hammer, eyes wide and finally understood the truth.

Hammer hadn't lied. He wasn't a murderer. And the shot had gone off for the millionth time – at the far end wall.

But Hammer was looking at her wide eyed, a finger on his lips. He then moved his hand to his neck and made a swiping motion and Pepper understood the movement perfectly. _Talk, and I'll kill you _and_ him for real._

But Tony didn't know that – Tony, back at home was sure she was gone. But instead, of simply hanging up, Hammer left the line running.

"Pepper! PEPPER! _God, no, no, no…PEPPER!_"

Hammer was going to make her listen. She stared at him, silently begging him to cut the line but he wasn't even looking at her. He was looking at the phone, smirking triumphantly at the chaos and sorrow he had caused. And Pepper was sure she couldn't handle it. No…she _knew_ she couldn't handle it.

The crashes came shortly afterwards and it took everything in her power not to cry audibly, to not ease his mind and tell him that she was here, alive and well. Her muscles clenched and she tried to remain still, crying as she heard him tumble into a dark abyss of grief.

_Tony! Tony!_

"Hey, hey…Tony, stop…"

Rhodey, it was Rhodey and Pepper could tell he was trying to hold him, trying to bring him back into the real world. And shortly afterwards, the crashes ceased though his cries, shrieks and whimpers persisted, becoming only thing she could hear.

"She's gone!" Tony cried. "She's gone…he killed her and it's my fault…_God_, it hurts…she's gone…"

And his cries continued; Hammer forcing her to say nothing until he finally decided they had both been tortured enough. He then hung up, leaving the torn couple to flounder in their respective misery and despair.

**So they're both alive – but one of them is PISSED! Read and review please!**

**xoxo writingmonkey10**


	26. Chapter 26

**I love winter break.**

**Chapter 26**

The shower was running as well as the sink but Tony wasn't using either of them. Instead, he sat on the cold, hard floor, waiting for the water level to rise above him and take over. Logically, this was an impossibility, but as the water slowly trickled off the edge of the table and landed in pools beside him he couldn't help but wonder, why not?

Hammer had killed her – he had killed her _just_ to get back at Tony; to get back at Tony _and_ Pepper, actually. And Tony had succeeded in convincing himself that it was completely his fault. Had it not been for the Ironman suit, she'd still be here. If he had just given up back in Afghanistan, had he _not_ invented the suit then he wouldn't be here, she would have moved on and more importantly, she would still be alive.

It was _his_ fault, and he didn't know how to move on from here.

Tony leaned back, taking in a shaky breath as the water from the sink dripped into his hair and quickly trickled down his back. Tony whimpered, closing his eyes as the few tears he had left found their escape. He still couldn't swallow the bitter pill of Pepper being _gone_. Not his Pepper, not her – she was invincible on her own right. He swayed wildly, affected by everything that was happening around him and unable to keep his own two feet planted on solid ground for more than five minutes at a time. But she wasn't like that – she was like no one he had ever known and just like that she'd been…

He shut his eyes tight as his right hand formed a fist. His chest felt like it was on the verge of collapsing and he brought his hand up to his forehead. He couldn't do this. He didn't know how.

Oh, _God…_

Why couldn't it have been him? Why couldn't have Hammer just gone after him? It wasn't fair that he'd chosen her – it wasn't fair that she was gone and he was left here, and it wasn't fair that she had left him in the harshest way possible. She didn't deserve it, she deserved so much more…

The pent up frustration was begging for escape and he angrily kicked the wall, tears still streaming down his face. But when he realized it wasn't enough, he kicked again – and again, and again…

Something clattered to the floor and immediately Tony opened his eyes, taking in a shaky breath of surprise. He'd kicked the trash can.

Angrily, he kicked it again, wanting the one thing he could no longer have. And in kicking the trash can, its contents fell after it, appearing behind it as it rolled by. Tony watched, aggravated, fearful, and terrified beyond words. The trash can continued to roll by him until it reached the far corner, stopping and rolling back a few more centimeters before reaching a complete halt.

Tony banged his head back against the counter, embracing the pain. Just as the impact radiated from the back of his head, he noticed the brightly colored pink and blue box that had fallen from the trash can. Desperately in search of some sort of distraction, despite how minor, he picked it up and examined it.

_Fertility test._

The words meant nothing to him, not in the state his mind was in, and he turned it over, reading the labels. But still, his mind was unable to assimilate what he had read and he immediately threw it across the room. It fell in a nearby puddle of water.

Moments later, he sat upright.

_Fertility test._

He dove for the box again, but his hand gave way underneath him and he slipped, falling into another rapidly growing puddle of water.

Tony wasn't sure how he was able to handle any more than what he had already. But as bright as day, the truth was lying in front of him just out of reach, soaking in tap water from the sink. He sat up, backing away from it in shock and realization.

* * *

The years could have passed her by and she never would have noticed. The daunting power of sorrow manifested itself within her soul, consuming her from the inside. She would never realize time was passing her until she no longer remembered what happiness was – until all memories of love and joy were vanquished from her mind completely, and all she could understand was hopelessness.

For now, that was all she knew – hopelessness and loss, though logically, _she_ had lost nothing.

Pepper had long run out of tears to shed. Instead, she sat, virtually paralyzed, while tied to the wooden kitchen chair, her mind replaying the entire conversation from the phone. Remembering…

But if he thought she was dead, then there was no one holding him back. He could take care of Hammer once and for all, then he'd discover that she was fine. It would work out and maybe it would be worth it.

And if it wasn't worth it? She had caused him so much pain in a few short minutes and now she wasn't sure if anything was worth it. What would she have done if she had thought, even for a few moments, that he was dead? Even for those three months when he had been in Afghanistan, the one thing that kept her hoping was the belief that he was _missing_. Not dead, but missing. But if she had actually _known_ for a fact that he was gone, just like that, she didn't know how she would have been able to handle it.

So she sat, trying to understand _his_ pain and ignore her own. She was sure that if she tried hard enough, she could experience his own pain and in doing so, take some of it from him. Maybe, even miles away from him, she could make a difference and ease his suffering, if even for a moment.

There was a tugging at her arms and Pepper immediately looked up, for the first time noticing the open door.

"What do you want?" she asked hatefully, her voice hoarse. "Haven't you done enough?"

"Actually…not quite yet," Hammer replied from behind her and Pepper heard something snap and rip. She tried to turn her head to see what he was doing and saw the roll of duct tape in his hands.

"Wait, what-?" Pepper hesitated, trying to get her mind to catch up with the current situation. "What are you-"

"Honey…" Hammer said softly, as if speaking to a child. "Did you honestly think I went through all of that _just_ to let you go?"

Well…

Did she?

Yes, in complete honesty she thought as long as she played along, Hammer would let her go and everything would go back to the way it was – the way it was _supposed_ to be. And even though a logical third party observer would have long realized how unlikely that hope was, she hadn't. Because all she had was that minute ounce of hope to keep her going.

"All my hard work would be meaningless if I let you go," Hammer told her.

She said nothing as he replaced the coarse ropes with roll upon roll of duct tape. Pepper tried to understand, or at least tried to force herself to understand Hammer's new revelation. "So…so you're just-"

"Well…_I'm _not getting rid of you," he explained and he walked around the chair to face her, smiling wickedly. "But your boyfriend will."

Pepper said nothing. Instead, she stared at him, desperately waiting for his explanation.

Justin Hammer pointed behind him. "See that door? I've got a bomb attached to the hinge as well as a couple sensors around the entire perimeter of that door which means as soon as it opens, this entire room is going sky high. Now, you tell me – what do you think Anthony's going to do know that he knows…or at least, _thinks_ he knows that I just killed you?"

Stunned silence from her as she shook her head, Hammer's true plan finally being revealed. No, he wouldn't…he couldn't…

"Exactly," he exclaimed, as if Pepper had answered his question. "The first thing he's going to do as soon as he gets himself together, is to come over here and look for my sorry ass. He's probably traced the last call…I'll give him about two hours before he gets here. And do you want to know what he's going to do _when_ he gets here?"

Pepper continued to stare at him, just beginning to understand this man's hatred. "No, you can't-"

He leaned a little closer and whispered, "He's going to blow this place up sky high looking for me." He leaned back and opened his arms, palms up. "All I have to do is lead him in here. And then you'll be gone for good. And shortly after, he'll realize what he's done. And when he does – then…then, he'll _really _want to kill himself. Because then he'll realize it really was all his fault."

Her heart pounded in her chest as fear took hold. "No…no, you can't he'll…"

"-drive himself to ruin," he finished. "In which case, my work is done." And with that final statement he stretched out the roll of tape, prepared to silence her completely.

"No…no! No, you can't-!" Pepper shrieked, struggling.

"Oh, come on, stop being so difficult-"

"You bastard!" Pepper finally screamed, kicking his shin that had come far too close to her tightly bound feet. Hammer backed away for a moment, more shocked than anything else. The entire time, she hadn't resisted, hadn't shown any sign of aggression. But there was a new fire in her eyes now that she realized her passiveness was doing nothing to get her out of the mess she was in.

"I thought…I thought if I-"

"You thought I'd actually let you go," Hammer deduced.

Teeth clenched, she glowered at her captor. "I did what you asked and he's suffered enough, isn't that what you wanted? You have what you want, you've won. Now just…just let me _leave_."

For a full moment, she actually thought he might let her go. But quicker than she thought possible, the sticky end of the tape was against her mouth, silencing her completely.

She screamed into the tape, crying and shrieking as she tried to break free, but to no avail. She knew it was hopeless – this far into this game, there was nothing left. This far into _Hammer's_ game, a game she wasn't winning and had no chance of winning. Hammer had perfected his strategy and this was his last stand – or perhaps more accurately, her last stand.

"When it happens it will be _completely_ painless," Hammer sang as he left the room. "And now – I'm off to find myself another one of those tootsie rolls. Damn dentists, think they can tell me what to do…"

Pepper screamed into her tape again and Hammer turned to face her and immediately, Pepper gave him her best face yet. Not the death glare she reserved for Tony at work, not the roll of her eyes she gave Tony at home, and most definitely not the warm look in her eyes whenever she saw Tony at all – but a pleading look. A look she never gave Tony because she never had to. This was one she had never used but she hoped in this one instance, it would make a difference, though deep down, she knew that it wouldn't.

And it didn't.

Hammer left her in the room, locking the door behind him.

There was no turning back now. If he did, the entire room would go up with him.

* * *

She was pregnant.

The answer was now crystal clear.

Did Hammer know? No, probably not – he just happened to catch her at the worst (or maybe for Hammer the best) time possible.

Pepper had been expecting a baby – _their_ baby.

The first question that probably would have popped into his head at any other time was 'Why didn't she tell me?'. But that thought was far from his mind. Instead, only one thought filled his consciousness.

'He killed them both'.

Hammer hadn't just killed Pepper – he'd taken _their_ child. He'd taken her life, plus another that was worth just as much as hers.

And for now, that was all that mattered and in a split second, he was regenerated with a new form of motivation – anger; pure hatred. A hatred that made him see double and caused black spots to scatter across his vision. A newfound hatred that gave him the will and energy to stand up and open the bathroom door, ready to do _whatever_ was necessary to avenge Pepper, and their child.

"Tony-" Rhodey called suddenly, noticing him leave. He _had_ been on the phone with the police but the dark look in Tony's eyes made him drop everything he was doing. He heard the water running in the bathroom but instead of fixing the obvious problem, he chose to follow Tony, worried for his wellbeing…and his actions.

Tony ignored him as he made his way down the stairs and punched his code into the workshop. "JARVIS, the suit?" he demanded immediately, the harsh look in his eyes reflected through his voice.

_Assembled, Sir._

"Prepare the dock."

Rhodey's eyes widened, realizing just what Tony now had planned. "Woah, woah, Tony…stop, stop-" He grabbed his friend by the shoulder but Tony simply pushed him aside.

"Don't even _try _and stop me, Rhodes," he spat angrily.

"Don't do anything stupid, Tony, this isn't-" he took his friend's shoulder again, forcing him to look at him. "_This_ is what Hammer wants, don't give him that."

Tony clenched his teeth, looking away for a split second. "I don't care."

"Stop…just, slow down for a minute, and _think_ if-"

"I'm done _thinking_!" Tony yelled, pushing him aside and walking back to the mounting pad.

"Tony!"

He stopped and turned to face him and Rhodey noticed the softer look in his eyes. Maybe…maybe there was a chance here, maybe he'd stop and—

"She was pregnant," he said simply, his voice soft and fragile, as if ready to disintegrate into the air.

A stunned silence filled the room and for the first time, Rhodey was finally speechless.

Tony sighed, holding his hand up against the side of his face as he winced. "She was pregnant…and he killed her…I just – I need to-"

"To what? So what's your plan…to go after him and what? Kill him? Make him pay for it? Tony…" he chose his words carefully, knowing that if he messed up, he might not be able to fix it. "Tony, it won't do anything? What will it accomplish?"

"Nothing," Tony admitted. Then shortly after he shrugged once. "Everything. It doesn't matter anymore, there's nothing left-"

"I don't believe that," Rhodey told him honestly. "Just…just stop, and think about it, just for a second-"

"Believe what you want," Tony replied. And as soon as he stepped on the mounting pad, JARVIS did the rest of the work and the pieces of the suit were assembled around him.

"Tony!"

"JARVIS, transfer Hammer's location to the HUD."

_Already done, Sir_.

"Damn!" Rhodey exclaimed. Tony wasn't going to listen to him, and in all honesty, he couldn't blame him either. If he was in his friend's shoes, he'd take the first opportunity to get back at Hammer. But being the observer in the situation, he knew it wasn't the best option. Hammer wasn't finished with Tony - he had something else planned, that much Rhodey knew. But Tony was too grief stricken to realize or understand that.

The police would be useless in their attempt to stop Tony now – an army couldn't stop him now.

But maybe the right army could…or more specifically, the right and select few people who knew how to handle him. And more importantly, could override JARVIS in a heartbeat.

"JARVIS call Fury and Natasha, _now_!"

* * *

There was a blinking light on the side of the door that Pepper faced. A blinking green light. But whenever Hammer stepped close to the door, the light would immediately turn a bright red and begin blinking rapidly. Then once he stepped out of range, the softer light, green blinking would take its place. The message for Pepper was simple – a blinking red light was death. It was almost mocking that Hammer had given her that knowledge.

She'd done everything she could think of to break free but it wasn't long before she realized that even if she did, there was nothing she could do about it. There were no windows for a potential escape and the door was off limits for obvious reasons. There _was_ an air vent up on the roof but the question became how to reach it. Even if she freed herself and moved the table right underneath it, she wasn't sure if she'd even be able to reach.

So she long gave up on that idea. Instead, she hopped and shifted in her seat until she was in the furthest corner, far away from the door. Virtually useless, she knew, but she also didn't know how effective the bomb Hammer had created was. Maybe she was far enough from it, maybe there was still a chance…

Ha! Fat chance. So after half an hour of struggling, she gave up.

That was it. That was her final act of acceptance; the realization that there was no point and that all was lost. And her acting on that realization.

Now all she had to do was wait.

* * *

"See, it's crazy shit like this that happens when I'm not in the loop," Fury complained as Natasha Romanoff examined the situation from behind Tony's computers.

"You _should_ have been in the loop," Rhodey complained angrily. "You have no problem shutting down JARVIS and messing with his system."

"_I_ was in Canada," Fury spat angrily.

Rhodey shook his head. "Right."

"Did he say why he was going?" Natasha asked, frowning at something on the screen. "JARVIS, where is he?"

_Container Store Warehouse in-_

"His girlfriend was just killed by a company rival, take a wild guess as to where he's going and what he's going to do when he gets there."

"She's not dead," Natasha said simply, still typing at the computers.

Fury and Rhodey said nothing, waiting for her explanation, which came shortly after. She shook her head as she worked. "It's not like him."

"Well," Rhodey said sarcastically. "That's the form of hard evidence that I'm looking for right now – it's not in his character to murder people."

Natasha ignored him, instead, rattling off the information she already knew. "The Warehouse is probably about one and a half hours away in Tony's suit, which gives us about forty five minutes to figure this out before he gets there."

"What do you mean, she's not dead?" Fury asked Natasha.

She shook her head. "I don't know…it doesn't make sense. What's Hammer's plan once Tony gets there? Hammer's got nothing to beat Tony. His only leverage is Pepper, and now that she's gone, Hammer can't control him. He's a dead man."

"So why keep Pepper but tell Tony she's dead?"

"Another sense of control, maybe…for suits? I don't know, I haven't figured that part out yet - JARVIS get into the camera systems. If you can't do that, give me a thermal imaging of the entire building."

"Why would thermal imaging be easier than breaking into camera systems?" Rhodey asked.

"Because companies block cameras," Natasha explained. "They can't block body heat."

"Let her do her job, Rhodes," Fury explained. "Tony's going to cost me an arm and a leg if he's not careful."

_Estimated time for camera images – fifteen minutes. Thermal imaging pending._

"Do both," Natasha commanded as a digital wireframe of the entire buildling appeared on one of Tony's many inventive platforms. The warehouse was a four story building with too many rooms to count. The thermal imaging of the building quickly appeared afterwards.

"Shit," Rhodey swore as he walked to the other side of the frame.

"Damn," Fury agreed.

"Too many hotspots," Natasha explained. "Anything with a set geometric shape we can assume is a machine – JARVIS get rid of them…all machinery, get rid of it."

Rhodey sighed as over seventy five percent of the heat displayed on the wireframe disappeared, leaving behind a few hotspots and the frame of the building.

"There…that's Hammer," Rhodey pointed at a walking, bright orange and red figure walking down one of the hallways.

"Which means she's going to be close," Natasha said, her heart pounding although she remained calm. _Come on, come on…_ "The rooms, she's going to be in one of the rooms. JARVIS, what's the lag time?"

_Approximately four and a half minutes._

"Good…good…" Natasha whispered, scanning the frame for another hotspot – for a body. A _living_ body. If she was alive – she'd be just as bright as Hammer, an orange-reddish look. If she wasn't, then by now her body heat would have decreased dramatically. This was the final call.

"There!" she yelled suddenly, pointing at an orange figure – a much smaller figure. Fury and Rhodey made their way to her side to see for themselves.

"She's sitting down – that why it doesn't look like a person – but she's moving, it's her. She's fine."

"Call Tony," Rhodey immediately suggested.

"What about the door?" Fury interrupted, pointing at it. Around the entire edge was an orange outlining. "JARVIS got rid of the machines but this…this is different."

"There's something at the bottom corner…and it's…moving or…"

"It's blinking," Rhodey said aloud.

"It's a motion sensor," Natasha answered.

"But why would Hammer put a motion sensor by-" Rhodey cut himself off, realizing exactly what it was. "Shit-"

"What?"

"It's a bomb – it's activated by touch, that's what the sensor's for," Rhodey quickly rattled. "When it's activated fully, it goes off – no manual activation, no personal trace, so it has to be activated by—by a person or a specific-"

"It won't matter," Natasha said as she turned to face Fury and Rhodey. "Tony's going to rush in there and blow up everything in his sight looking for her. _That's_ Hammer's plan. He's going to get Tony to set it off himself."

"Call Tony," Rhodey demanded immediately. "JARVIS, call Tony. _NOW_!"

**And now it's a race against the clock.**

**Or how fast I can type up the next chapter. Either one.**

**And have a very Merry Christmas! God bless!**

**All **_**I**_** want for Christmas from you wonderful people, however, is a review from YOU! Please leave a review on your way out! They mean so much to me! Thanks again! And Merry Christmas!**

**:)**


	27. Chapter 27

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! **

**Chapter 27**

Tony was flying faster than he ever had before, but he wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. Instead, he had only one thought entrenched deep into his mind – he had to find Hammer and…

And _what_, exactly?

What Rhodey had asked him before he had left was currently the only logical and sane thought in his mind – Just what exactly _was_ his plan once he laid eyes on Hammer? To make him suffer? To pay for what he had done to Pepper?

But not to kill him. He didn't want to kill him.

Yes, that was exactly what he wanted to do, and to Tony, that was the only form of revenge that made sense. And he was more than willing to follow through as well, were it not for his memory of Pepper.

That wasn't—_wouldn't_…that wouldn't have been what she had wanted. She wouldn't want him to fall so low.

So he wouldn't kill him. But that didn't mean Hammer wasn't going to suffer.

_Incoming call from Rhodey_—

"Ignore it," Tony instructed before JARVIS could finish, noting the growing pain in his chest – a growing _physical _pain that had merged with the emotional and with a start, his mind added two and two together. His chest was aching him again, just as it had months ago, before he had used the warfarin to take care of the problem once and for all.

Well, no longer 'once and for all' since the pain had returned, and it was more like a heavy hammering rather than a dull ache. The pain was there - almost tenfold but placed next to the grief he now he felt with Pepper gone…a literally aching heart was nothing compared to the grief.

"How much longer until I'm there, JARVIS?" Tony demanded, his teeth clenched as he flew at top speed.

_Twenty six minutes, Sir_, came the swift answer.

* * *

"He's not answering," Rhodey said, tossing his phone aside. He was as frustrated as hell and he wasn't the only one. They'd tried calling from Tony's home and even Fury had been forced to drop a message. Tony wasn't ready to listen to reason. In fact, he wasn't quite ready to listen to _anyone_.

"So we need to force him to listen," Natahsa thought to herself aloud. Her mind usually worked well in situations like this – where she had just a few moments to think on her feet and come up with a plan of action. But right now, she was coming up blank.

"Can't you override JARVIS and _force_ him to listen?" Rhodey asked Fury angrily.

Fury glared his one eye at him. "And what exactly stops him from just hanging up? Besides, I've already tried that."

"JARVIS, when does Tony land?"

_In approximately nineteen minutes._

"So…" Natasha said aloud. "Okay…we need to force him to listen which is obviously impossible…so we send him a message." She looked up at Fury and Rhodey. "We send him text – make him read it."

"A text message," Rhodey repeated, hardly believing his ears. "A text message…in a situation like _this?_"

"Do you have any other ideas?" Fury prompted.

"We send a message that appears on his HUD," Natasha explained as she started typing on the computers. "Non stop messages until he calls back. That's the best we can do at this point."

"And if that doesn't work?" Rhodey asked, sweat forming on his brow as panic took hold.

Natasha said nothing, shoving the notion of failure from her mind.

* * *

Tony checked the top right hand corner of the HUD – seventeen minutes. He'd wring Hammer's neck in seventeen minutes.

_High alert messaging,_ JARVIS informed him and Tony rolled his eyes angrily, already sure it was either Rhodey, Fury or Natasha. So they had found a way to contact him.

That didn't mean they'd be getting a response. He knew what he was going to do, and no amount of so called 'reasoning' was going to change his mind. The United States President could call everything off and Tony wouldn't listen.

He'd only listen if Pepper told him to stop.

_PEPPER_

His heart jumped in his chest and that unmistakable pang followed swiftly afterwards, startling him. It was a slight movement but at his speed, he should have lost control over the suit. But JARVIS made sure that didn't happen, Tony had long instructed JARVIS to maintain operational control over the suit knowing quite well that in the state of mind he was in, he couldn't fly by himself.

But what _had_ startled him was that single word – no, name – that now appeared on the side of the HUD. Someone was messing with his computers and trying to contact him. And whoever was sending the messages was only giving him one name. _Her_ name.

_PEPPER_

Tony tried to ignore it, determined to finish exactly what he planned to accomplish. Rhodey wasn't going to distract him and as a result, Tony's determination increased tenfold. He _would_ finish this. For Pepper. Hammer couldn't just go free so easily – it would be an insult.

There was more, but he hadn't noticed the remainder of the message. Just her name was enough to distract him. But grief made him glance back – and that was when he noticed the rest.

_PEPPER IS ALIVE._

He knew nothing up until that point. He forgot how to control the suit and for a few dangerous moments, he was in free fall until JARVIS took complete control and switched to autopilot. He forgot why he was even in the suit, what day it was, his middle name. It meant nothing. The one thing he did try and remember though, was the conversation on the phone. What happened on the phone? He heard the shot – Pepper hadn't said anything, it could only mean that she was gone. But now they were telling him that wasn't he case…

They wouldn't lie to him, he knew that much for sure. Were they mistaken? Or maybe they were right…what was wrong with that hope, even if he would be proven wrong later?

A few mumbled words later, and the unmistakable yet ominous dial tone was playing in his ears.

"Tony!" Rhodey said quickly after, grateful that he had answered.

"Pepper…Pepper's she's-?" His words were coming out in a nonsensical jumble and most of what he was saying was barely coherent. But it was enough for all of them.

"She's fine," Natasha assured him.

"But-where is she, how do you-?" He sounded out of breath and still in disbelief, not sure what to believe.

"Tony, listen, calm down," Natasha told him, knowing their job wasn't finished. Contact had finally been made, but the walls in Tony's mind had yet to be breached. He was in shock now – Pepper had been yanked from him in one swift motion and just like that, he'd been handed back to her. He was still trying to connect the dots in his mind, doubt plaguing him but hope rejuvenating him once again. He needed stability now, more than anything else.

She would have to explain first – and fast.

"We pulled up a thermal imaging of the entire building and the camera feeds are coming in right now – and we can see her. She's alive and she's fine but listen-"

"Where is she?"

"Tony, she's locked in one of the rooms on the second floor but there is a hot bomb attached to the hinges of the door." She didn't hear anything after that, except for a low static. "Tony!"

"Okay…okay, so what-"

She didn't even give him the chance to continue. "Listen, as soon as that door opens, she's gone. Hammer's plan is for _you_ to open the door. _That's_ the trigger."

"So once I get inside, I can disable it—"

"No!" Natasha and Rhodey screamed. And Rhodey quickly explained why. "If you go in and disable it Hammer will catch on and there's nothing stopping him from just opening the door before you're done."

"So I take down Hammer."

"He probably has a way to remotely activate it – a switch or something," Fury explained.

Tony sighed and Natasha could hear the hope rushing out of him in that single breath. No, he couldn't back out now – he couldn't lose himself now. They still needed him and Natasha knew it. "Tony, I'm going to try and disable the device from here. But I can't do that until JARVIS touches base. I need you to get close, but lie low so JARVIS can breach the system once and for all and I can get it done from here. Besides the cameras, we're blind down here, we don't know what his software is doing."

"Do you hear that, Tony?" Rhodes repeated. "Get _close_."

"That means Hammer's off limits," Fury said in low man's terms, remembering how eager Tony usually was to ignore direct orders. But both Rhodey and Natasha knew the extra warning wasn't necessary. He had so much more to lose if things went wrong this time. Usually, it was just his life on the line – now there were two…no, three.

"_Close_, Tony," Natasha told him, checking how much time Tony had to land. Four minutes. "You can't afford to be noticed. Don't even get inside the buildling, I just need you close. As soon as I disable the bomb, the floor's yours and we'll do what we can from here."

"Okay," Tony agreed and even Tony could hear the much more hopeful tone in his own voice – hopeful, but wary. And with that added hope returned his working and functional mind. He knew he could do this, because his _mind_ was in it.

_Think, Tony, think_.

Any other, regular computer would need to be anywhere within fifty to a hundred yards of the building to get a decent signal, maybe even wi-fi. But JARVIS was no ordinary computer. Tony estimated JARVIS could breach the security system at twice that distance which was all the better – Tony's suit wasn't exactly low-key and the further away he was, the better.

Numbers…he needed exact numbers he could work with, an accurate estimation.

"JARVIS, warn me as soon as you have a decent connect with the warehouse."

Less than thirty seconds later, JARVIS gave him the warning – approximately two hundred and fifty yards from the warehouse. Perfect.

"Natasha, are you there?" Tony spoke into the suit, analyzing the steps JARVIS was taking to break in and giving instructions to get the job done faster. Bypass these firewalls, break through that system…faster, faster, faster and Tony's mind continued to work faster than ever. Hacking he could do, and with the help of JARVIS he was virtually unstoppable.

It wasn't long before he heard the words he had been waiting for.

"I'm in," Natasha said quickly, typing into the computers as Fury checked his watch. He had other matters to attend to, and he could tell that if Tony kept his head on straight, this entire fiasco would end peacefully – relatively at least.

"You got this, right?" Fury checked with Natasha, already on his way out.

"Yeah," she answered, paying more attention to the screens. She was used to Fury leaving situations and the most inconvenient and sometimes inappropriate times. But Rhodey wasn't nearly as understanding.

"What?" he yelled at Fury in disbelief.

"She's got this," he said, and with that statement, he left the room.

Rhodey sighed, closing his eyes tightly to calm himself down just as Natasha cursed, letting out a harsh and annoyed sigh. "Damn it!"

"What?" Tony gasped, fear taking hold once more. His heart jumped and as it did, he felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest.

"It's these…stupid Russian bombs that always give me trouble," she sighed to herself. "I can't stand them."

"Aren't you Russian?" Tony asked, mostly out of curiosity. But Rhodey saw it as a slowly reappearing sense of humor.

"Shut up," Natasha answered back instead.

Tony said nothing, for once heeding a direct instruction, his mind preoccupied. "JARVIS, pull up what Natasha's seeing on the HUD."

A wire frame of the door appeared on the side of the HUD with the power source lit up like Christmas lights and immediately he could tell what made Natasha so uneasy. It was an intricate mess and pile of different colored wires all jumbled together but leading to a rectangular shaped box, probably no larger than a wallet. However, one distinct wire led to a blinking light a few inches from the main power source.

His first response was to simply cut off the wire leading to the blinking light, but upon a moment's contemplation, he knew it wouldn't work. It would probably set the bomb off than do anything else.

_Come on, think_, Tony warned himself, but the jumbled mess of wires was confusing him.

_I'm sure half of those are completely unnecessary anyway, and I can't tell what's connected to what._

Just perfect – Russian explosives weren't his area of expertise. Anything Tony made was efficient. This, what he was looking at now was more for show than anything else; an object used to instigate fear and look formidable. It couldn't be all that complicated though.

"Rotate one-eighty degrees," Tony instructed JARVIS and he was given another view of the device.

"What do you think, Tony?" Natasha asked, inspecting it herself. Back in Tony's workshop, she had more assets to her disposal. All Tony had to look at the explosive was the HUD screen, which could only show so much at a time.

"You have to disable it in a specific order, otherwise it's going to blow – and I think the order is-"

"This?" Natasha interrupted and immediately afterwards a chosen selection of the wires were highlighted, but one by one and Tony observed the order, and which ones Natasha had chosen. And he approved.

"Tony," Natasha noted. "You know…even when it's disabled, it can still be activated remotely. Hammer can override it if he has the switch."

He felt that pang in his chest again. That familiar but horrific sharp pain that had plagued him for months previously. It was returning now – why was it coming back?

Because they weren't quite out of this yet. What Natasha was trying to say was that Pepper wasn't safe. If Tony wasn't careful, if he didn't play his cards well, then she wouldn't be leaving the warehouse that night. She had to find her first and get her the hell out of there. That was the only way to ensure her safety first.

And how exactly did he plan on accomplishing that? By barging into the building, suit and all? That was exactly what Hammer was expecting, and there was no way Hammer would overlook him.

Tony could pull it off though.

"Natasha, where's Pepper?" he asked, trying to plan his strategy. His HUD showed the wire framing of the building but nothing else. And that was what he would have to work with for now.

"Second floor, third room from the corner on the east end," Natasha told him. "But there isn't a window in the room – it looks more like some sort of storage closet…a big one."

"Aerial view of the warehouse," Tony instructed JARVIS. "So the only exit in the room is the door?"

"There's an air vent in the ceiling."

"Where does it lead?"

"It's an air vent that goes through the entire building, Tony, it's complicated. If you get into them, I'll talk you out."

Tony, sighed and rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. This wasn't a get in, blow up and get out job. He had to go unnoticed, and that wasn't exactly Tony's forte. He couldn't give himself away until Pepper was out of the room; then Hammer would have no hold on him. So the question became, how to get in unnoticed?

There was a way to pull it off, but he didn't like it. It would make him an easy target but he was running out of options and fast. If Hammer got bored, he'd just easily finish the job himself.

_Pain._

He couldn't focus on the pain now.

The solution was simple.

"I'm going to call you back," Tony answered. And before anyone could say anything to stop him, he hung up.

_This better work_, Tony thought to himself as he instructed JARVIS to activate the small earpiece in his right ear. It was an upgrade that had initially been Fury's idea, considering how many times Tony would just remove the helmet when he got tired of listening to Fury rant and yell at him about something stupid like _not_ following orders.

The leg pieces – they would have to go. As well as the chest piece which was at least eighty percent of his weapons.

Tony sighed. _I'm going to kill myself if this doesn't work._

He wasn't exaggerating.

"JARVIS, initiate emergency sequence for dismantling the suit."

_Initiating._

_

* * *

_

_**Twenty minutes later…**_

"Tony, you there?" Natasha said, her voice in his right ear.

"Mmhmm," he hummed, unable to say much. Silence was necessary and without JARVIS, he felt blind, unable to see what was coming up ahead or check the fastest and most efficient way to find Pepper. He was in the building now, remaining in one of the camera's blind spot and waiting for Natasha's next instruction.

"Go down the hallway on your left," she said, and when she noted Tony checking the hall before proceeding she yelled into his ear, "Go now!"

The message was simple – instant response. She was watching back at the workshop to make sure he didn't fall into a trap and he would have to trust her.

"Two doors on your left – open it it's a stairwell, go up two flights."

"But I thought she was on the second floor, why are you sending me to the third-"

"Do it!"

Everything in him screamed, "Get off at the second floor!" but he knew he couldn't see what she was seeing. Natasha was his JARVIS, and if he messed up there was so much more in stake.

He visibly hesitated at the steps, wanting to go through the door that led him to the second floor. She was right there – just a few doors down and if he went fast maybe he could-

"Tony!" Natasha warned into his ear and he finally left it, refusing to look down.

"Turn left and get inside the supply closet _now_."

Tony heard the stairwell door open just as he slipped in, leaving the door opened just a crack. And when he dared look, he saw none other than Justin Hammer walking down the hallway away from Tony.

Tony's breath caught in his throat for a brief moment. But just as quickly as the sensation came, it left and he was filled with another that was much more dangerous.

"Tony…" Natasha warned. She couldn't see him but she knew exactly what he was thinking and what was plaguing his mind.

And she was right – he was planning, remaining completely still. Hammer didn't know he was in there and he expected Iron Man to show up. Instead, Tony was completely unarmed…actually, not completely. Even though he had removed the suit, he had kept in one vital - his left arm piece and gauntlet along with the repulsor ray was still attached to his left arm. The piece was still connected to the reactor and as a result, was fully functional. And judging by his location, he could easily knock out Hammer and finish him off – not kill him, he reminded himself – but to finish him. The only problem was that with JARVIS offline, there was the chance he could miss. Hammer was only getting further and further away but if he shot now and quickly maybe he could—

"Tony, don't do it, if you miss he can still pull the trigger and get rid of Pepper…think, Tony…"

He closed his eyes, trying to will logic into his head. _Wait until Pepper's safe – then take care of him_. When he opened his eyes, Hammer had disappeared, most likely down another hall.

"Go back down, to the second floor, Tony. You know where she is."

Almost in an instant, he was back in the stairwell, quickly running down the stairs and into the second floor hallway. _Keep quiet, keep quiet_ he kept telling himself.

But when he finally made it to the door, he hesitated. Not because of Pepper – never because of her. But the light in the corner of the door was…

"Natasha, it's still blinking."

"I disabled it."

"Check again!" he whispered harshly, his heart pounding in his chest and he could hear the loud thumping in his ear. And what was worse, the pain was spreading up into his shoulder and affecting his breathing, make each breath come in bursts. It terrified him, but not as much as the light by the door.

"Tony, I'm looking at the diagnostics right now and it's off. Go in. The light just means it can still be remotely activated. Go in, and get her out."

"But-"

"Tony, trust me."

He did trust her, completely; but the doubt that plagued the back of his mind and driving him crazy.

And he chose to ignore it and without hesitation, he opened the door.

Pepper was sitting in the corner, blindfolded with tape binding her to the chair and covering her mouth. Her hair was disheveled and even from where he was standing, he could see the tears staining her cheeks as she shook from fear – fear that had inhabited her completely.

He was next to her immediately, squatting in front of her and removing the blindfold with his free hand.

The fear he saw in her eyes terrified him but before he even had time to process it, the look in her eyes changed again – shock. She hadn't expected him to be here. Wait, was that…did she not _want_ him to be here? Perhaps it was just that she hadn't expected him to be here – and live.

She tried to say something underneath the tape but he put a finger to his own lips as he gently pealed off the tape from her own face.

"You're not-" she immediately began blubbering staring at him as if he had appeared out of thin air.

"Shh, you're okay, it's fine, I'm here-" he said, trying to calm her down.

"You're not supposed to be here," she told him, tears forming in her eyes again as fear took hold of her heart once more. She was panicking – honestly fearful. "He said you'd-"

"We disabled it, that's how I opened the door, you're fine."

"No, he said he could still set it off!" She told him, almost as if she was possessed by that single idea – that whatever Tony tried would fail. But for the first time, she noticed the obvious and for a moment, her fear was abandoned – he wasn't wearing the suit. Why wasn't he wearing the suit?

Tony looked around for something sharp enough to cut through the tape and for the first time noticed the desk in the corner. He quickly made his way toward it and opened the drawer to find it stocked up well. It was an office desk and everything from a stapler to paperclips was at his disposal. A pair of scissors happened to be available and he quickly grabbed it before noticing the pistol tucked neatly in the back.

Without thinking he grabbed it and immediately emptied it and tossed the bullets in another drawer. Just in case.

Pepper was loose within moments and as soon as she was, he felt her arms wrap around him, refusing to let go. Another wave of emotion coursed through him and again he noted the growing pain in his chest. Still, he ignored it and embraced her tightly as she continued to shake against him.

"Tony, Tony – I thought-"

"You're okay – it's fine," he reassured her.

She pulled away to look at him, all red eyes and tear stained face. And with a look of confusion more than anything else, she lightly touched his right cheek.

"There's something wrong," she whispered slowly, her eyes darting from his eyes to the side of his face.

He knew something was wrong. The right side of his jaw felt locked in place, forcing him to talk through his teeth and made breathing that much more difficult.

And the _pain_. It felt like it was suffocating him, holding his throat and suffocating him, physically choking every breath from him and preventing anything else to enter.

"We need to go," Tony said, mostly to Natasha but she didn't answer. He put his hand to his right ear and as he did, the realization hit him – he couldn't hear out of that ear. _Damn it!_

"Come on," he said, grabbing Pepper's hand and leading her back towards the door. He didn't make it this far just to watch her die. She was going to get out of here.

Tony opened the door, just barely. But as he did, the hinges squeaked and as Tony peeked through the crack, he realized the fatal mistake.

Hammer was close – not close enough to immediately attack but at about ten meters away from the door he had heard the hinge squeak and his head had turned. But by then, Tony had taken his face away from the barely opened door. Yet, he knew it was too late. Hammer would be there in moments, just to make sure the door was closed. And when he realized Tony had broken in, Hammer would win. It was over.

No, it couldn't be over. Not yet. He looked at Pepper, as the pain in his chest intensified.

She hadn't seen Hammer and she most certainly didn't like what she was seeing now. The look in his eye wasn't one of desperation or loss of hope, but it was the look he had when he had a crazy idea. And she wasn't ready for crazy ideas. "Tony, what-?" she hesitated, her voice shaking.

He kissed her, just briefly and just as quickly as his lips met hers, he tore away. "I love you," he whispered sincerely.

But she didn't understand. How could she? "Tony, I don't-"

He didn't listen. Instead, he opened the door wide and as soon as she did – she saw. And she understood.

Tony pushed her, harder than ever and she fell, falling and rolling away from the storage room. Just as he did, he raised his left arm as the repulsor ray charged.

And fired.

Hammer also fired at the exact same time at Tony – mere coincidence really. But he wasn't aiming for Tony. Instead, he had his eye on the deadly box attached to the corner of the door. And just as Hammer flew back and crumpled to the ground, the storage room erupted in flames.

Only in a matter of moments, _milliseconds_.

The explosion was deafening and Pepper could only watch as the flames surrounded him.

"Tony!"

**Er…yeah, Happy New Year, right? Yay...?**

**No, but seriously – New Year this year was 1/1/11! OMG! I hope you guys made a wish at 11:11 PM/AM. Or 1:11 AM/PM. Because the next golden opportunity is the 11****th**** of November this year!**

**Oh – and review please. :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**THE MUSE HAS RETURNED!**

**Sorry for the wait. XP**

**Chapter 28**

Tony was on fire.

He was on _fire_.

"Tony!" she screamed again crawling towards him despite the searing heat. The flames hadn't even touched her; but he was lying there on his stomach as the flames devoured him instead.

_That should be me. That's what Hammer wanted._

Tony wasn't moving, instead completely motionless as the flames lapped against him, almost as if they were petting him.

Once beside him, she realized the fire had only found his back and right arm and she immediately pulled him away from the burning room and rolled him up onto his back, attempting to smother the flames licking his skin. Already, in just a few seconds, she saw that the fire had already made its way through his clothes, probably due to the initial explosion. Still, she continued to roll him, back and forth until the last of the flames were extinguished. It wasn't until then that she noticed the bright pink and very slowly peeling skin.

She sat for a moment, thinking quickly as the flames roared behind her. _I need to get us out of here_. She knew that much – there was no telling what would happen now – if some other explosion would be triggered, if the entire building would collapse.

She didn't have a phone – it had been taken away and she had no idea where Hammer had kept her things. Pepper turned, finally sparing a glance at the fallen Justin Hammer and immediately, she ran up to him, searching his person for a phone.

He was still breathing but Pepper wasn't paying any attention to him – she should have been angry but she didn't even feel that. Anger was an emotion beyond her at this point. She just wanted Tony's safety.

She found Hammer's blackberry and immediately dialed 911 as she made her way back to Tony, pulling him further and further away from the inferno.

_911, what's your emergency?_

It wasn't until Pepper saw the blood that she truly began to lose hope and descend into full-fledged panic. The blood wasn't coming from the flame-induced wounds. Instead, it was coming from his mouth, the dark liquid, staining the side of his face.

Tony coughed, a sign that he was still conscious, but he only coughed up blood that would begin to slip down the back of his throat anyway.

_No, no, no_—

She put him on his side, hoping that at least that way, his breathing wasn't as hindered. Still, the crimson red continued to flow as he coughed, now choking on his own blood.

"Tony, stay with me…stay with me…"

_911, what's your emergency?_

"Fire!" Pepper screamed into her phone. "There's a fire and—he's bleeding, he can't breathe and…"

"Where are you now?"

Pepper tried not to cry as she honestly answered, "I don't know."

* * *

_**Two weeks later**_

She never left his side – not unless she was going to run down to the cafeteria to find something to eat or sprint next door to the bathroom. The worst part was over, she knew that already – but that didn't mean she couldn't find it in her to simply embrace the gratefulness and continue her life. It was difficult now for her to accept peace. It was a foreign concept to her, considering everything that had happened to the two of them – mostly him – in the last two years.

But she wasn't scared, and she wasn't worried. That was definitely a move in the right direction, yet everyone else seemed to demand more from her. "Go home and get some real sleep, he's going to be there tomorrow," or "Drop the phone and get some rest." Couldn't anyone understand that keeping herself was busy was how she remained sane?

Yes, of course everyone knew that. This was Pepper Potts, and she thrived on tense situations, deadlines, and the stress of work. She owned those territories and she could survive there. But when the same tension and stress was transferred to her personal life – to _him_, that was when the trouble began. She couldn't handle that.

And so she shifted her tension and stress to the world she knew she could handle fluidly.

"I assure you Mr. Stark's health is at one hundred percent and it shouldn't be long before he's discharged…his health is no longer an issue, it doesn't affect his ability to protect us as Iron Man and it never will- "Pepper sighed, frustrated as hell but maintaining a relatively professional stance to the reporter on the phone.

She couldn't help but realize how bad things had gotten for her to _actually_ talk to a reporter. Pepper usually left that job for human resources or anyone else who wouldn't get as frustrated as her. But being Tony Starks' personal assistant and girlfriend meant that the stories would only continue to evolve until she decided to do something about it; even if that meant answering her phone.

"I'm sorry, that's classified information-" Pepper retorted as Rhodey walked in, holding in a single envelope. She gave him an exhausted smile before quickly ending the discussion with the reporter on the phone. "What's that," she quickly asked, holding out her hand to take the envelope from him.

Instead, Rhodey held on the envelope, refusing to hand it to her. "You need to get out of here," he told her instead.

Her hand remained outstretched and she curtly answered, "I'm _fine_."

"No," he said quickly. "You're not."

She said nothing, finally pulling her hand back towards her. Pepper rested her elbow on the chair and waited for him to finish, expecting a lecture.

"You've been here for over a week now – everyone's worried."

"You're worried," she clarified angrily. Why was everyone getting on her case?

"And so is your mother. _And_ your sister," he quickly added.

"Rhodey-"

"He's fine," Rhodey interrupted, referring to Tony. "He's fine and you know it. There's no reason for you to be panicking-"

"I'm not panicking-"

"No, you're not, instead you've taken a deep plunge into Stark Industries and there is no one who knows how to dive in that mess and find you. You're distracting yourself."

She finally said nothing, accepting that she had lost this argument. Pepper rested her eyes for the first time since their conversation, on the man lost in unconsciousness; the man who _had_ been lost in unconsciousness for weeks now. The burns along his arm had healed well over the last two weeks though the unnatural and slightly grotesque pink sheen still remained, and he no longer depended on the machines that ensured his stable heart rate. He _was_ perfectly fine. She hadn't lied when she had told the reporter that he was at his one hundred percent.

So why did she find it necessary to descend into the professional world? What was left to fear?

His awakening? Absolutely not.

"What's worrying you?" Rhodey asked.

"I don't know," she told him, desperate to drop the subject.

"You're lying."

She laughed dryly to herself, noting to herself that Tony's frankness and long rubbed off on his best friend.

"What is it?" he asked. "What's worrying you now?"

Pepper looked at him and opened her mouth to say something. As soon as she did, her phone immediately started vibrating in her hand and she jumped, taken aback. She hesitated, obviously about to look down at see who it was.

"Leave it," he told her.

She hesitated again, looking at him as if to say, _Seriously?_ But she allowed her phone to vibrate another five more times in her hand, all the while, maintaining eye contact with Rhodey. Finally, when her phone stopped vibrating, she told him quietly, "He can take care of himself."

He shook his head, not understanding. "What does that mean?"

"Tony," she said simply. "He can take care of himself. And he can do it better without me in the picture."

"What are you saying?"

Pepper shifted her gaze back to Tony. "He went in to find me…without his suit." Then she looked back at Rhodey. "Why would he do that? Why would he do something so-" She stopped for a moment, looking away and running her hand through her hair. After a moment she added, "If it had been anyone else. He wouldn't be here right now, _burned_. If it was anyone else, he'd be fine right now."

"You're _not_ 'anyone else', Pepper. Not to him."

"And that's the problem, isn't it? Because of me things like this will always happen. They'll go through me to get to him so maybe…maybe if I-" _Leave_. Maybe if she left him, then he'd be safe.

Rhodey didn't need her to finish her sentence – he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Have you been thinking about this for the last few weeks?" he asked, horror struck.

Pepper's silence was answer enough.

No, this wasn't supposed to happen. Tony was going to propose – he had asked her mother, taken Rhodey and Liz to find a ring. "You could run to Mars, for all he cares that wouldn't change anything. And what would stop anyone from picking you up and dangling you in front of him all over again. Pepper, because it's _you_ he will always run in and find you no matter what it takes. You can try and take yourself out of the picture but all he'll do is just paint you back in."

Even though she still said nothing, he could see he had broken through to her. "He'll always get out of whatever mess he's in, Pepper. It's what he does."

She looked up at him, holding out her hand again. She nodded at the envelope in Rhodey's hand. "What is that?"

He shook his head. "You need to leave," he told her. "Go visit your mother or at least _talk_ to her. She's panicking."

"What is that?" Pepper repeated.

But Rhodey shook his head. "Fifteen minutes with your mom and then you can get this."

Pepper laughed once - sarcastically. "You're kidding."

Rhodey shrugged and left the room.

She let out another sarcastic huff. Of all people, _Rhodey_ making her see her mother. Pepper rolled her eyes and stood up, grabbing her purse but not before laying her eyes on the sleeping man in the hospital bed.

"I'll see you soon," she told him, kissing his cheek once.

* * *

Tony awoke with the memory of Hammer pointing a gun at the corner of the door. He remembered, watching Pepper fall just as the flames and the heat pierced through his being and threw him against the wall. His ears were ringing and he could vaguely recall some sort of shifting sensation – as if he was on a boat about to tip over.

Hearing is the first sense to return after being put under. So in addition to the memories that had been floating in his subconscious for two weeks, there was the methodical beeping in the background, angrily tearing him from his state of unconsciousness. The quiet arguing coming from an entirely different angle – and someone had dropped a stack of papers somewhere else.

The remaining senses returned in an almost evil rush – bright, blinding fluorescent lights, reading – someone was reading, and the _touching_; tugging and pulling and prodding…What did all these people want, anyway?

"Welcome back, Mr. Stark-"

"Do you know where you are?"

"Mr. Stark, you were in an accident-"

"Mr. Stark, I need you to blink once if you can hear me."

_Shut. Up._

"—Mr. Stark, you've been out for two weeks-"

"He's not responding—Mr. Stark, can you blink for me?"

_Mr. Stark this, Mr. Stark that – good God, people, I know my own name stop saying it._

"Blink once-"

"You just woke him up after a two week induced coma, I'm pretty sure he's more out of it than anything else," someone said harshly.

_What did you crazy people put me in a coma for?_

"You've suffered first and second degree burns-"

_Shit._

"And-"

_Wait a minute, burns?_ That woke him up. _Burns. Pepper. They haven't said anything about Pepper._

He tried to sit up, and immediately vertigo took hold and the room began to spin like a top. Pairs of hands tried to steady him before he did something stupid but Tony just sat up breathing heavily.

_If I knew breathing was so difficult, I'd get JARVIS to do it for me._ "Where's…Pepper…?" he asked instead.

"She's fine," came a reply that definitely didn't come from any of the nurses at his side. He looked past them, still heaving as Rhodey walked up beside him. Tony's neck was bent down, as if searching for oxygen and his shoulders heaved as he inhaled, his eyes watching his friend carefully. The knowledge of Pepper's safety was enough for about thirty seconds – long enough for the nurses to finish their routine checks and leave the room after a feeble attempt to make him use the supplied oxygen mask.

"Where…" Tony started desperate for answers. Just for answers.

"She's on her way here, she went to see her mother," he told her, sitting down next to him.

"She's fine…right?" he asked, still heaving. "She's-"

Rhodey frowned at him, as if annoyed and picked up the oxygen mask he had previously ignored. Then, as any best friend would have done, he slammed the mask against Tony's face. "Can you just breathe?" he asked annoyed, rolling his eyes. He then sheepishly added, "You're making me nervous."

Tony laughed into the mask – a weak laugh that was enough to show he was healthy and sane. "She's fine?" he asked again.

"She's fine," he reassured her. "Has been for the last two weeks. She got out of the whole thing with only a bruise on her left wrist. _You_ on the other hand…" Rhodey said, waving his hand at Tony.

"What?" he asked nonchalantly as his breathing reached a sort of rocky stability.

"I think they already mentioned the burns," he said.

"What burns? Where?"

Rhodey raised an eyebrow, honestly surprised. "Uh…" he motioned towards Tony's right arm and for the first time, Tony looked down and noticed the peeling and scarring skin running from his elbow and up to his shoulder. A few patches decorated his forearm as well though not as deeply.

"Oh…" Tony said, inspecting it.

"And on your back," Rhodey added and Tony immediately reached behind him.

"Don't touch it!" he exclaimed and Tony quickly retracted his arm.

"Sorry," Tony quickly added, rolling his eyes.

"You must be on a hell of a dosage of morphine for you not to feel any of it. It's actually why they kept you under for so long. That and the surgery-"

Tony's head perked up slightly and he moved the mask aside for a moment to ask, "What surgery?"

Tony noted the surprised look on Rhodey's face. _This isn't going to be good_, Tony thought to himself as he inhaled and exhaled slowly into the oxygen mask. Rhodey sighed, scratching the back of his head nervously and that's when the panic took hold.

"Rhodey, just tell me what-"

"Uh…Pepper said that there was a problem with your chest, right? A couple months back? You went to the doctor and they gave you something for it?"

"Yeah, warfarin," Tony answered, making mental calculations. Had he skipped a dose or something? Had it backfired? Did he have some crazy allergic reaction that only kicked into gear months later?

"Yeah, well, you didn't need warfarin," Rhodes said. "What you needed was to get that shrapnel out of the way."

"What?" Tony asked – not necessarily surprised. Actually, he just felt pissed off now. He couldn't help but think to himself, _Gee, why didn't I think of that? Oh, yeah – I have. It's just bloody impossible._

"Long story short," Rhodey finally began. "The people at that last hospital you were at screwed up and almost ran an MRI. They didn't fess up until your physician gave them hell and asked for the records. The reactor's pretty big so it didn't move much out of place at all. What _did_ move was the shrapnel – but _barely_. So in effect-"

"It moved far enough out of place so that the reactor couldn't catch it as well," Tony finished for him. It made perfect sense and now that he was thinking about it, he was a little surprised this medical screw up hadn't occurred to him before. He was about 95% sure that the story Rhodey was about to tell had a happy ending – after all, he was here right? And there_ had_ been a surgery. Which meant…

His thought process stopped right there, finally understanding and despite the oxygen mask against his face, he found it almost impossible to breathe. _What have they done?_

Even if all the shrapnel _had_ been removed, he wouldn't make it five years without the reactor. His entire body had become so dependent on it, ripping it out would be suicide…he'd have to get it replaced and fast…it was either that or…an artificial heart transplant. That might work but he wasn't too keen on the idea of—he quickly touched his chest, searching.

His panic ceased once he felt for the hard metal in the middle of the chest through the hospital gown. Tony exhaled slowly into the hospital mask.

Rhodes hadn't noticed Tony's moment of panic, so he continued. "Yeah, exactly – the reactor wasn't in range anymore."

Tony nodded. "So…then what? What was the verdict?"

"Forty eight hours," Rhodey sighed. "That was the verdict."

_Oh, God…Pepper_, Tony thought with a shudder, massaging his forehead. It wasn't fair for her to keep going through this. God damn it…Had she been forced to watch him die for two days? Had he done that to her? _God damn it…_

"She's fine," Rhodey repeated again, knowing exactly who was on his mind.

"Yeah," he said, trying to let it go.

After a brief moment of silence, Rhodey continued, "It was Natalie's idea to move the shrapnel – but not remove it," he quickly added once he saw Tony's expression. "Once they saw it they knew it was impossible to get rid of it completely so the plan was just to move the pieces back into range so the reactor could keep doing its job. And since, at the time, you had about twenty hours to live it seemed like a logical choice. Nothing to lose really."

"And it worked?" Tony asked, impressed.

Rhodey shrugged and held out his hands, palm up. "You're here, aren't you?"

"Huh," Tony thought to himself. He wouldn't have recommended moving the shrapnel – it really was just as dangerous as removing it but with two days to live, there really wasn't a choice. "And it worked?" he asked again. "I mean the odds of it working are-"

"Slim to none, we know," Rhodey said, shaking his head. "They were sure to give us exact numbers. You're lucky to be alive in layman's terms."

_Yeah, yeah_, Tony thought to himself. To be quite honest, he was sick of these near death experiences. It would be nice to go a year without one. Just think…three hundred and sixty five days and no hospitals, or terrorists…

Then, "How's Pepper?"

"I told you she's fine."

Tony made a face as if to say, _Don't play this game with me._

"I…" Rhodey hesitated, looking for exact words before shrugging and saying, "She's fine. She's been more worried about you than anything else she's…fine."

No, she wasn't. Tony hadn't seen her in two weeks and he knew. She would bury herself in work and mask her worries that way. Yes, she had been worried about him and whether or not he'd make it through the ordeal alive but now that he had, there would be other memories plaguing her mind. She'd remember _why_ he was in the hospital; because he was trying to save her from that bastard…

"Where's Hammer?" came the inevitable question.

"Prison."

Tony rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh behind the mask. "Again?"

"He's not even in the state and he's facing thirty seven years."

"Mmm," Tony hummed, his eyes closing. He didn't want to think about _him_. But there was another question knocking on the back of his mind. A question he didn't want to bring up just yet – after all, if Rhodey knew the answer he would have already told him.

"You need to sleep."

Tony laughed, feeling the exhaustion bleed through. "I've been sleeping for the last two weeks."

"You need to sleep without sedation," Rhodey amended, standing up to leave. "Pepper will probably be here in about half an hour so she'll see you then."

Tony was out before he even left the room.

* * *

"Mr. Stark, please stop scratching the wounds-"

"It itches. So I scratch," Tony said blatantly, refusing to heed her advice.

"It's a burn, Mr. Stark," the nurse said in an exasperated tone, quickly losing her patience. "Itching will only irritate the area-"

"So give me some anti-itch cream or something-"

"You're allergic, Mr. Stark," the nurse said, adjusting his IV's while rolling her eyes.

"To what?" he asked, honestly surprised.

"Hydrocortisone. It's in your chart," she said nodding at it.

Tony frowned for a moment. "Nu-uh?" he exclaimed, suddenly distracted from the annoying itch on his arm and his nurse merely nodded at the chart as if to tell him to check for himself. He grabbed at it and flipped through the pages until he found the right page. Sure enough, hydrocortisone was listed as the only medication he was highly allergic to. "Seriously?" he murmured to himself, more amused than anything else. "Hmm," he hummed, almost impressed.

The nurse tried to hide an equally amused smirk as she left the room. He was such a child – which was probably why everyone liked him even if he pulled off something extremely annoying.

As soon as the nurse left though, he immediately resumed scratching his arm, though not as intensely. And as he did, he carefully examined the entire length of his arm.

The burns seemed like patch work, not as deep or harsh in some places as in others. Where he wasn't burned as badly, his skin was a light pink – as if he'd just been sunburned badly. But in other places, the top layer of his skin had peeled away, completely though the healing process had already began. _This is going to hurt so much…_

And apparently, his back was just as bad. But he wouldn't know; he hadn't seen it yet.

"Tony?"

He looked up, immediately recognizing her voice and in an instant, she was at his side, holding him closely. Yet, even in her emotion riddled state of mind, she was sure to keep away from the burns on his back, holding on to his neck with her cheek against his.

He held her close with his good arm as a sigh of relief escaped him. He knew she was fine – everyone had told him that, but now – with her beside him, Tony _knew_ for himself that she was safe.

"Oh my God…" she cried softly, holding on to him, finally letting out the pent up emotion and frustration run through her. She shook slightly, remembering just how close she was to losing him, remembering the fire, the flames finding him, the doctors giving her that single number – _forty eight hours. He has forty eight hours_. "Oh God…"

"Hey," Tony whispered, also remembering how close he was to losing her – on the phone with Hammer and hearing that final shot. She pulled away from him, holding his face in her hand, as she pushed his hair back to look into his eyes. And at the same time he saw the relief he felt reflected in her eyes.

She smiled a little, choking on her words as she told him, "You need to shave, you know? And…oh, God – um, you were burned and-"

He laughed slightly, holding on to her hand. "Yeah, I know…" he told her, still in shock. "I know…but…you're fine, right? You're okay, you're not hurt or—and…and the baby, you're not-"

"What?" Pepper said, frowning a little at the words that had just left his lips. _How does he know? What does he know about-?_

"You're okay, Hammer didn't hurt you-"

"Stop, no, I'm fine," she told him, still caught up on his words. "But you said something, you said-about a baby?"

Had he said that? _Shit_. He let out a defeated sigh, about to confess though not entirely sure how to. "I…uh…that night, I-"

He didn't have to finish. She wasn't interested in how he had found out what he now knew…or thought he knew.

"Tony," she interrupted. She wasn't sure what to say so instead she gave her answer silently, slowly shaking her head in her attempt to explain. The truth. _No. I'm sorry._

He understood instantly. So Hammer had won even though he probably didn't know it. And he had failed, only saving one life out of the two he was responsible for.

He had failed.

The sorrow that followed was overwhelming and he found himself in a world he did not understand – the grief crushing him just as it had weeks ago when he had though he'd lost Pepper forever. But now for him to experience it again…and worst of all to _know_ that it was his fault. Maybe it was when he pushed her away from the door and she had fallen – or maybe because he just hadn't gotten there in time…

He had failed.

"Tony, I'm sorry," she tried to explain. "I wanted to tell you-"

_Wait, what_? How could she tell him anything, he'd been unconscious for two weeks? "Wait, you're-"

She frowned slightly, trying to understand what he meant. Her eyes widened as the gravity of the situation hit her. He thought that…

"Tony…you think…" She shook her head, trying to explain – to make him understand.

"I wasn't pregnant," she finally admitted.

He just stared at her, for the first time in months, speechless and Pepper quickly tried to explain. "I was never pregnant, Tony – that test I took, it was negative. That's…that's just it."

No, that couldn't be it. "I thought-" he tried to explain, connecting the dots in his mind. "I thought you didn't tell me…"

"If I _had_ been pregnant, I would have told you. I know that much for certain," she promised. "But before I took the test, I…had doubts and-"

"You didn't tell me," he interrupted instead. But just a moment too late he realized what he had said wasn't fair. Pepper looked at him, speechless and nodded once almost horror struck as she cast her eyes elsewhere.

"No, wait, I didn't mean-" Tony tried to mend.

"But that's just the problem, isn't it?" Pepper told him. "It was negative so there really wasn't anything for me to say but before I checked all I could think about was…I…I thought that maybe…you didn't-"

"Wouldn't…_want_ it?" he asked, trying to focus. The room was spinning again and Tony immediately guessed he needed to take a longer nap. And Pepper guessed just as quickly.

"Tony, we can talk about it-"

"No, _now_," he said, trying to keep his eyes open. "No, no, no, no – now…"

She hesitated again. "I was scared," she admitted. "I didn't know if you wanted it, or…or what you would say, if I…if _we_…were ready, is that what…?" she stopped, unsure how to explain. "It's not…It's…we've never really…_talked_ about it. And I wasn't sure what…if that's what we—" she shook her head, realizing something else. "I don't even know what _I_ want," she told him. "And I…"

"I love you," he said simply, interrupting her rant with a quiet but reassuring smile

She stopped, smiling sadly – or questioningly? He couldn't tell. "I love you too," she told him.

"When…you were with Hammer…I thought you were pregnant. And I thought he'd killed you and also…"

She nodded sadly. For the last two weeks she had pushed those memories from her mind – and now she was remembering.

"So," Tony continued. "Does that answer the question concerning whether I'd _want_ a Stark junior walking around?"

She laughed, nodding again and Tony noticed the smile reach her eyes, warming his heart.

"Now," Tony told her. "If we're _ready_ – that's something we're going to have to find out for ourselves."

**And that's a wrap for now! Read and Review my pretties! XD Huh. 1:15 AM and I'm hyper. Oh, what a joy it is for one's Muse to return! XP All is well!**

**But still, review prease! **


	29. Chapter 29

**572 reviews. O.o THANK YOU! I appreciate every single one of them so don't think your review goes unnoticed. Sometimes, when I'm out of ideas/motivation, I just go back and read reviews to help me out (you guys have good ideas, you know). **

**Anyway - **

**Chapter 29**

He remembered what home looked like – a giant mansion that overlooked the Pacific Ocean, the house run almost exclusively by JARVIS.

Tony also remembered what home had looked like just before he had left almost a full month ago. That moment when he thought Hammer had won and Pepper was dead, he had trashed the place. The workshop was in complete disarray – papers strewn across the floor and he was _pretty_ sure he had toppled a cabinet. And had he ever turned off the running water in the bathroom? JARVIS might have taken care of that, but JARVIS sure as hell couldn't organize a room.

And that was exactly what was worrying him now as he sat in the back seat of the car next to Pepper, Happy driving the pair home.

She was on the phone, working out last minute details with Stark Industries and putting any stray rumors to rest. News of Tony's second hospitalization in less than one year had spread like wild fire – especially when Hammer's name was mentioned. Every newspaper to date had printed no less than three separate stories concerning Tony's hospitalization, Pepper's capture and Hammer's imprisonment. A full month of non-stop drama. Tony had forced Pepper to stay out of it; leaving the clean up with Communications but it was next to impossible to keep her completely silent, and she would still do what she could from the hospital.

Now, after being released, he couldn't help but note that the crowd that had gathered outside the hospital was ten times larger than the crowd that had gathered a few months back. _Well, I feel special_.

Tony was contemplating all this while looking out the window, just as Pepper muttered a hasty goodbye to whoever she was talking with on the phone and sighed. After a moment, she frowned, his silence worrying her and asked, "What are you thinking?"

He turned his head, suddenly dragged out of his reverie and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

He laughed. "I'm not plotting anything if that's what you mean," he told her, amused.

"You've just been quiet," she told him. "It's slightly terrifying."

"You were on the phone," he gave as his excuse. "I was being courteous."

"Again, terrifying," she told him, putting her phone in her lap and watching him carefully. But he wasn't looking at her – instead, he was gazing out the window, a distant look in his eye. Something was worrying him. "What's the matter?" she asked, honestly concerned.

He shook his head but still said nothing, the corner of his lip twitching silently as he thought. Pepper continued to watch him for another full minute, observing his position and body language. She noticed that his back wasn't against the seat and realized that though the burns had healed well, he was still tender. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt so she couldn't see his arms but she knew the burns were no longer harsh and raw there, finally beginning to scar.

She said nothing, understanding that for now, what he needed was silence. When he was ready, he would talk.

Pepper sighed and looked away, checking off items on a mental checklist. _Call Communications, fax the documents to Human Resources, reschedule the arms meeting and call Rhodey to know when he can attend-_

Rhodey…Rhodey something. His name was ringing bells in Pepper's mind and all of a sudden, she remembered why. _Damn it!_ She'd forgotten the letter he had delivered to her a few days back. She immediately dug through her things looking for it and hoping whatever was inside the envelope wasn't time sensitive. As soon as she found it, she ripped it open and quickly read the note Rhodey had given her –

_You are hereby commanded by the order of the court to appear before the Senate Arms Services Committee—_

"You have _got_ to be kidding," Pepper murmured to herself as she continued to read.

"What?" Tony asked, turning to face her and eyeing the letter in her hand fearfully. Pepper simply passed it to him angrily and Tony skimmed through the words quickly. "Shit," he muttered under his breath. The Senate Arms Committee wanted a rematch – so they were calling him back in to argue for the US military's possession of his suits. Again.

"It's a goddman subpoena," Pepper told him, trying to compose herself. Even though Tony thought otherwise, she knew the last one hadn't gone too well.

"We've got two weeks to get ready that's more than enough time, remember last year? They gave me about twelve hours heads up. I had to drive from Flushing, New York to D.C in-"

"I don't care," Pepper spat. "You've been in the hospital for two weeks, they could give you a break. Why _now_?"

Tony knew _exactly _why now. "Because the Committee now has an advantage," he told her. "This is my second hospitalization in two weeks and to top it all off I left the suit in the middle of nowhere when Hammer captured you. Anyone could have found it."

"So what?" Pepper mumbled.

"So…" Tony dragged out. "They're going to make the accusation that I'm not physically fit to keep the suits and that I was irresponsible when I left the suit out in the open."

"They can't do that!"

"Actually, they can," he explained, throwing the letter aside.

"You were trying to save _me_ – that's why you left the suit-"

"Yeah, we know that, and _they_ know that – but their stance is still valid-"

"Are you agreeing with them?" she asked suddenly – not angrily, just surprised; as if caught off guard. It was as if he was taking it all lying down – willingly almost. She knew her Tony, and he could come up with a counter argument on the spot, despite how outrageous it might be. But nothing even remotely resembling an argument was coming from his lips – just acceptance. "Do you…_want_ them to take the suits?"

He hesitated before explaining, but the hesitation was answer enough for her and she didn't allow a single word to escape him.

"Are you insane?" she asked.

"You'll be out of everyone's radar if I don't have the suits. It's what everyone wants; the only reason people hate me – because of the technology behind the suits. And if I give it away, no one would bother going after you to get to me-"

"If I recall correctly, Hammer's plan had nothing to do with suits."

"But everyone _else's_ will," he explained.

"You're being selfish," she accused just as Happy pulled up in front of the mansion.

"What-?"

"You help people, Tony – and not just here in California but wherever the hell Fury sends you every other night. You are _helping_ and in the hands of the military, the suits will only become meaningless killing machines. That's not what you wanted them to do. But in _your_ hands, something good will actually come out of them. That's _exactly_ what you wanted. _That's_ why you made them. To _help_ people. And if you even _think_ about letting me mess with that I swear to God I will _permanently_ disconnect JARVIS and send his software flying through the Internet!" And with that, she let herself out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

Tony remained in the car, wide eyed and slightly – alright, _extremely_ terrified of the red-head that had just entered his house. He sighed and rolled his eyes, rubbing his forehead.

"I hate it when she makes sense," he muttered to himself and Happy tried, in vain, to hide an amused smirk.

Once at the steps of the house, he remembered his previous worries – that Pepper would walk in and see the mess he had left that night. He didn't want to bring those memories back yet – they'd resurface in time but now was too soon for either of them. They needed balance, stability now.

But Pepper was already in the house, acting as if everything was normal. Dropping her purse on the second chair by the counter, checking if JARVIS was online and boiling some water to make green tea she routinely drank at about this time – five in the afternoon.

"JARVIS says to check the shop," she told him, still frustrated after her yelling session with Tony in the car. And wisely, he decided now was the time to leave her be and check whatever JARVIS said was a problem.

But he didn't bother going inside the shop. Instead, taped on the workshop door was a note:

_Next time, YOU can clean your shit up._

_-Natasha and Rhodes_

He rolled his eyes but yanked the piece of paper from the glass and stuffed it in his pocket, smiling to himself as he made his way back upstairs.

"What do you think is so funny?" Pepper immediately asked, still pissed.

He sighed and rested his hand on the counter table, supporting his hand in his left hand. "Why are you still angry at me?" he asked innocently.

"Because you're being stupid," she told him, not nearly as innocently.

"I want you to be safe," he told her honestly. "Why is that so bad?"

"I told you – because it's stupid."

He leaned forward, the soft smell of her vanilla shampoo finding its way towards his nose. But just before he reached her lips, she turned her face and looked away, rejecting him.

Tony didn't move at all, remaining uncomfortably close yet unable to pass the invisible barrier she had put up. He kept his eyes focused on hers and saw the pained, sad and hurt expression upon her face.

A soft sigh escaped him but still he didn't move, remaining close to her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I _told_ you. I don't want to become...the reason you just..._abandon _everything that's important."

"_You're _important," Tony told her.

"I'm being serious, Tony," she said, finally looking him in the eye. "You don't understand - _this _isn't going to work unless you understand that. I don't want you to compromise something that's bigger than both of us just for me. I'm...I'm proud of you for being Iron Man and I worry...a lot about you but I don't want you to just give it up either. For anyone."

_I'd give it up. I'd give it up for you._ He looked at her and he could tell she knew exactly what he was thinking; and that no amount of her begging would change his mind. When the chips were down and he had to choose, he'd choose her. Any day.

But until that day came, he would understand where she was coming from. "Alright," he told her. It was a sign of agreement that came with a silent clause. _Until you're in danger. Whenever you're in danger, I'll always choose you first._

Pepper understood his partial agreement, and for now – that was enough for her. She just nodded once, falling into his eyes that were just a breath away. But instead of closing the remaining distance, she held in her breath and moved away from him, walking past him and towards their room.

Tony remained exactly where he was and after a moment, turned sadly to watch her leave for their room.

Maybe he shouldn't have gone after her – maybe all she needed was time alone. But instead, he chose to follow her anyway and he waited just outside the door, his back against the wall. Pepper just stood there, as if not sure what to do now and he said nothing, giving her time. After a while, she sighed and walked up to him, burying her face in his chest as she hugged him tightly, wrapping her hands around his waist as to keep away from the burns on his upper back.

* * *

Two nights later, she had her first nightmare.

She was with Hammer in that same cursed storage room, but she wasn't tied to the chair. Rather, Pepper was on her own two feet, standing beside him, completely free. Immediately, even in a dream, she knew something was wrong.

_I'm supposed to be tied up. I'm supposed to be in that chair._

Hammer was smiling, almost sweetly. Three years ago, she would have rolled her eyes at the smile and thought to herself, "Deceiving bastard." Now when she saw the grin or even thought of it, she shuddered.

He glanced down and Pepper quickly looked down as well, expecting a trap; some sort of trick.

Instead, she saw the handgun in her own hand.

Hammer's hand was suddenly around her own and she found herself pointing the gun at the closed door ahead of them. Pepper's finger rested on the trigger and Hammer's finger was on top of hers, ready to push and she closed her eyes, shaking her head.

When Pepper finally chose to open them, she was no longer in the warehouse; she was back home and Tony was asleep on his side of the bed. Tony's peaceful face rested on the pillow, facing her – facing _both _of them. It was then that she realized she was still holding the gun, and Hammer's finger was still on top of hers.

She shook her head, trying to move her hand in another direction but he was much stronger than her. Before she could beg for him to stop, she felt the pressure in her index finger and heard the shot roar in the bedroom.

Pepper gasped and sat up, the sound of the shot firing enough to yank her from the subconscious world in her mind. _It's just a dream, it's just a dream…_But a dream that had felt as real as the sheets underneath her. She covered her face with her hand, still in shock, the emotions she had felt in her dream finding her in reality.

"Pepper?" came the soft voice beside her. She turned quickly and saw the arc reactor's blue light illuminate his face.

"It's only a dream…you're alright," he said softly, sitting up beside her and holding her shoulder.

But that wasn't her fear – that wasn't what she had dreamt about. _He thinks I'm remembering what had happened to me_, she realized. But instead, she had remembered what she had done to _him_, the pain she had caused him when Hammer had fired the final shot. The pain he had felt because of her, thinking she was dead, even if it wasn't her fault.

Pepper said nothing, breathing slowly as Tony's hands assured her safety.

Finally, after some time, she swallowed and quietly asked him, "Do you know…what the worst part was?"

Tony shook his head no, still holding her. She looked up at him and he could see the remnants of fear in her eyes.

"When you were on the phone," she admitted. "And he made me listen to you scream."

* * *

Normalcy seemed to appear out of nowhere most of the time and for hours, it was as if Hammer didn't exist. Then occasionally there was the long, penetrating silence where one was quietly worrying for the other, trying to imagine what the other was thinking. Talking would make everything that had happened that much more real, and neither of them was sure they were ready for it.

The first test came two nights later, when she walked in on Tony taking off his shirt. By then, she had the seen the scars multiple times but she wasn't sure if the tightness in her chest whenever she saw it would ever disappear. The wounds had long healed and the scarring was very light, almost matching his skin tone. But there was no denying the light patches and lines, almost like a snake.

But this time, when she looked, she couldn't help but notice that there was something…_off_ about the burns, as if they were swelling again.

She rolled her eyes and walked up to him, grabbing his good arm and startling him. He hadn't realized she was in the room.

"What _now_?" he whined, pouting like a child. Despite only being out of the hospital for four days, his presence was practically demanded back at Stark Industries. And he was _not_ all that happy about it.

Pepper didn't answer him. Instead, she examined his arm and noticed that the scars there had all but disappeared. She raised an eyebrow and looked up at him. "You haven't been using that burn cream they gave you," she immediately accused.

"Yes, I have!" he denied, showing her the arm she was already holding.

"But not on your back."

He thought about it for a moment before sheepishly mumbling, "I can't reach it."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, glaring at him. "Tony…"

"And I forgot," he quickly added, sure that was a better excuse. "You can't get mad at me! Right…?"

"It hurts doesn't it?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"I-"

"Tony!" she shrieked even louder. She huffed, aggravated and dug through the drawers, looking for the prescribed medication. As soon as she found it, she popped the cap open and immediately instructed, "Lie down."

"But-"

"_Now_!" she said sternly, frowning at him warningly. He knew that look. It meant, _Don't test me_. So he quickly complied, grimacing first before rolling his eyes and lying on his stomach.

He felt her soft hands apply the cool cream along his upper back, rubbing it in gently. She was still cautious, fearful that she might hurt him.

"Tony," she sighed, mumbling aloud. Her anxiety and anger had dissipated. "If you need help with something all you need to do – is _ask_, alright?"

"Hmm," he mumbled back, making a face Pepper couldn't quite place.

"What's 'hmm'?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow. "You usually go out of your way to get me to touch you," she joked lightly. It was _supposed_ to be a joke, but she saw that it didn't rest with him.

"Not like this."

His frank and sudden honesty surprised her and her hands stopped moving for a split second before continuing. She understood what he meant. _I don't want you to touch me like this._

"You blame yourself when you look," he explained.

Pepper couldn't help but realize that though at times Tony might forget the bigger picture, he always noticed the little things; the details that made her tick. She tried not to show any signs of hesitation or worry whenever she saw the burns - but her eyes couldn't hide what she truly felt. It was the keyhole into her soul. And Tony had caught on.

"I wouldn't have even made it out were it not for you," he continued. "But you still think it's your fault."

There was more he wanted to say, but couldn't. So much more. _Every time you look at me, you're going to remember. You'll always remember, and that's not what I want. When I touch you, I don't want to think that you're remembering. I want to touch you and feel you and love you and only that. I don't want anything else to matter. And when you touch me, I want you to want me. Just me. I want it to be like before and I don't just mean sex. I want to touch you. And I want you to touch me. Just to touch me._

Maybe it was selfish – but was that so awful? To want normalcy to that extent? Was it so bad that he didn't want Hammer to continue to plague their every movement, what they thought, how they felt, how they even _touched_?

And as if to answer the questions devouring him, she felt him lean forward, her hands still on his bare back just as she kissed his right shoulder. Slowly, she worked her way to his neck and moved down until she found his lips. He kissed her gently, moving onto his side to get a better angle and as he did, he sensed her urgency. Her hand moved from his back towards his chest and then his face, caressing his cheek and tracing her finger along his hairline and down to his jaw. Every time he found her bare skin, it was as if he was learning her all over again.

Maybe, in time, when he touched her, it would feel more familiar. But he honestly doubted that. He could never have enough of her – of her smell, her touch, her smile. But she would always be more than enough for him.

**Hurro? So…are you there? Review please! Thank you! HEARTS!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Me thinks you'll like this one.**

**Chapter 30**

Tony was lying down on the floor by the coffee table, resting on his elbows so he could just peer over the edge. He glanced at the two cards in his hand before placing them face down and taking another look at the cards on the table.

"You can stare them down as much as you like, their not going to change suit," Pepper told him from the couch, taking a sip from her wine glass.

"What makes you think-?"

"You've been pondering for well over fifteen seconds which means you were hoping for either a flush or a full house," Pepper said, placing the glass on the table. "You're rubbing your chips together so I'm going to go with the flush."

Tony rolled his eyes and folded, knowing quite well she probably had a _much_ better hand. He hated playing with this woman.

Pepper grinned and raised an eyebrow before she folded - she had been bluffing.

He _really_ hated playing with this woman.

"Liar," he grumbled under his breath as Pepper obnoxiously gathered the chips on the table.

"Tony, you have the lousiest poker face."

"I do not!" he denied. He never had this much trouble playing at benefits – he kicked ass when he was playing with anyone else so what made Pepper so difficult?

"I _do_ have an advantage, though," Pepper said as she thought to herself, still grinning slyly. "I've known you for over ten years."

"Rhodey's known me for a lot longer and I still kick his ass at this," Tony said, not buying her excuse. He took a long sip from her glass of wine since he had long finished his.

"Rhodey's too focused on his own hand when he plays, he doesn't pay attention to everyone else."

Tony put down the glass and stared at her for a moment questioningly. Pepper simply shrugged it off. "I pay attention," she told him as she shuffled the cards again. "And since I told you this, you're going to start paying attention too. If you like your hand, you'll play normally and if not you'll panic and try and hide your tells which means you'll hesitate."

"Well," Tony said, rolling his eyes. "I don't think _panic_'s the appropriate word-"

Pepper shrugged, as if to challenge him. "Fine. Round two?"

Tony shook his head behind the glass of wine at his lips and frowned as if she had just lost her mind. "I don't think so."

She laughed at him, throwing her head to the side lazily. "Poker was _your_ idea," she reminded him.

"Yeah, but that was before I learned you were some sort of amateur psychoanalyst."

"Someone's a sore loser," Pepper prodded.

"I'm not going to willingly to jump into pointless situations," he said instead, knowing quite well that what Pepper said was true.

"Fine," she said, as if she was being the mature one. "If you don't want to play a simple game of poker, then we'll be forced to talk about more serious matters." When her words didn't seem to affect him in any visible way, she added, "_Stark Industries_ matters."

Tony scoffed, unimpressed. Nothing would change his mind – he'd stand on principle.

"You're hearing is in three days, I've prepared a few notes for you to look over until then, you're plane is leaving at three in the afternoon sharp and-"

"So…the plane leaves at six, right?" he checked.

Pepper paused and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "No…the plane leaves at _three_. I just said that."

"So six?" Tony checked again, as if he hadn't heard her.

She sighed, waving him off with her hand as if to just drop the entire issue. "Yes, Tony."

"Good, I'll be there at eight."

"Tony!"

He laughed, rolling onto his back. "I was just kidding."

Pepper let out another exasperated sigh. "Aren't you even a _little _worried?" she asked, wine glass in her hand. "About the hearing this weekend?"

"I thought the hearing last year went quite well," Tony mumbled.

"No, it _didn't_!" Pepper exclaimed. "The only reason you got out in one piece was because of those videos of Hammer you brought to their attention. They had nothing to tag you with. They have _everything_ against you this time."

"I know how to make you relax," he suddenly announced, sitting up completely as he gathered the cards on the table and began to shuffle them.

"You're going to have to try a lot harder than another round of poker."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Dinner," he said instead as he dealt.

She didn't say anything at first. Instead, she held her wine glass at arms length, staring him down carefully. "Hmm," she hummed, as if weighing her options.

"Italian," he added, knowing quite well that it was her favorite. "_Bel Piatoo_, remember?"

She smiled, remembering it all quite well. "Hmm."

"Tomorrow night?"

Pepper didn't answer at first. Instead, she glanced at her hand, thought for a moment and threw her chips in. "Fine," she said simply.

Tony smiled, his anxiousness masked perfectly behind his conniving grin. He looked down at his own hand and smirked again.

Pocket aces.

"I'm folding," Pepper announced, slipping her cards underneath the stack.

"What-"

"You have pocket aces," Pepper said simply.

"No, I-!

"You _just_ said you did," she told him. "Out loud, so don't start thinking I'm psychic."

"No, I didn't-"

"_Yes_," Pepper told him slowly. "You did, you just whispered _pocket aces_. You didn't even realize it."

Tony opened his mouth again, about to deny it but then thought to himself, _Did I really say that?_

"I told you, you'd get self conscious. Round three?"

He sighed, threw his cards on the table and rested his head on the table, sheepishly shaking his head. "No…" he moaned childishly.

Pepper smiled to herself. "I thought so," she said as she dealt the cards anyway.

* * *

The last time Tony had taken her to _Bel Piatoo_, he had picked out the forest green, evening dress she had worn. He'd taken her up to the rooftop, kissed her and the next day, their relationship hit the newspaper stands. Still, despite the way things had turned out, the restaurant still held a positive connotation for the both of them; a marker of how far they'd come. The first time she'd looked over that balcony, she'd called off the kiss for a martini, the second time – they went public.

The third time…

Pepper had three likely explanations for this particular dinner considering the location. Tony either had really good news he wanted to share, really bad news he wanted to smooth over or he just_ really_ wanted her to take her mind off the impending hearing in just a few days.

Pepper couldn't help but guess it was the latter as she picked up the dress Tony had chosen for her this time. She smiled, albeit sheepishly as she looked it over, holding it above her head.

Dark, evening blue and perfectly backless. The dress she had worn the first night they were on that balcony – the night of the benefit.

Of course.

"_Tony_…!" Pepper called out sweetly behind the closed door as she slipped the dress on. It seemed to be some sort of unspoken tradition – for them to get ready separately when going to _Bel Piatoo_. "Why did you choose this dress?"

She was sure she heard his smile before he even said anything. "What, you don't like it?" he asked from the other side of the door.

A light laugh escaped her lips just as she pulled the dress up and over her shoulders. She zipped the side and examined herself in the mirror. "Oh, of course not," she told him, pouting her lips though he couldn't see. "I'd just like to know your motivation."

"Is that so? I thought you knew me so well," he answered cockily. She laughed again, slipping her shoes on.

"If you don't tell me, I can always find another dress," she told him as she opened the door.

Tony had finished getting ready a while ago and was now putting on his cufflinks and Pepper couldn't help but silently blush. She'd be the first to admit that Tony looked absolutely stunning no matter what he was – or was _not_ – wearing, but he was completely mesmerizing in a tux. Something only he could pull of in something she liked to call a Tony-esque way.

He looked up, his head still downcast as he put the cufflinks on. He smiled though, when he saw her and walked up to her, kissing her quickly on the lips.

"I think it's sexy," he told her with a cute smile as he took her hand.

* * *

As the waiter brought their meal (or multiple meals, in the spirit of their last visit), Pepper interpreted the waiter's warm and amused smile as recollection and thought he remembered their last visit; the day they had ordered multiple meals and insisted on trying all of them – a makeshift buffet.

It took her a few moments to realize that the waiter didn't remember their last visit at all – he just recognized their faces from the newspaper stands.

But instead finding herself frustrated, she found herself amused – almost surprised. When she thought of Tony, "billionaire" and "Iron Man" weren't the first words to come to mind. She simply thought of him as a man – the man she had fallen in love with. By now, she was used to the unwanted attention, the press, people she had never met pretending to know them. But she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to look at Tony the way others saw him.

And again, just like last time, once they had finished eating, they escaped through the "Employees Only" exit to find themselves on the roof of the building, facing the horizon now associated with their evolving relationship.

"What are you thinking?" Tony asked after a few moments of silence on the balcony.

Pepper looked at him with a smirk. "Nothing," she told him. "Just…that I like it up here, that's all."

"Well," Tony said, as if her answer was already obvious. "I'm not going to deny that I know where to take you to get you in a good mood…" She laughed at that, but waited for him to continue. "_But_, I will point out that although the Los Angeles skyline is nice enough there are one thousand and one other places I could take you that are much more impressive."

"Really?" Pepper asked, turning to face him, eyebrow raised suspiciously. "Like where?"

Tony thought about it for a moment. Then answered, "Fiji."

She laughed, the light sound, filling the air between them and Tony raised his hand slightly, palm up and nodded, as if agreeing with her. "See? Fiji, that sounds good doesn't it?"

"I'd like to know the next time you'll have a long enough vacation to run to Fiji," she reminded him.

He rolled his eyes, as if that fact wasn't even relevant. "What, you don't like Fiji?"

"You're last vacation was your first in two years," she brought up. As a side thought, she added, "And if I recall correctly, you were attacked."

"Fine. If you don't like Fiji you don't need to make any excuses-"

"I'm not making excuses."

"Yeah, well, now you're just getting defensive."

"I like Fiji," she muttered harshly, as if trying to prove a point.

"Uh huh," he hummed to himself. "Well, despite your obvious case of denial, if you don't like Fiji, then where _would_ you like to go?"

Now it was her time to think about it for a moment. "Rome," she decided. "Somewhere in Italy…"

"Maybe Venice?" he prodded suggestively. "Cipriani, remember?"

"Oh, aren't you just _hilarious_?" Pepper said back. Tony laughed, his eyes bright and mischievous and she rolled her eyes, shoving him slightly. She sighed and grudgingly added with reluctance, "Venice was nice."

"It was more than _nice_," Tony added out of the side of his mouth and Pepper's smile slowly reappeared.

They were silent for a few moments, as memories of the good, the bad, and the not so great flooded into their minds. "It's still nice here," Pepper finally decided.

"Why?" Tony asked, turning to face her.

"You _know_," she answered.

She was right. He _did_ know. But he wanted her to say it, and she could catch the hint.

"Because…I like remembering everything we've been through for the last few years. Some things, more than others but…we got this far, right? I like it here because…it's like a bookmark. And now looking back…" she shrugged, not sure what else there was to say. "I like where we are now."

He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her forehead. "Me too," he told her, remembering the years. And not just the few years that had passed since he had come back from Afghanistan, but also the many years before. The countless number of times she chose him, or at least to help him, even when he didn't deserve it. Every moment, she worked as hard as she could to bail him out, helped him recover from a hangover with a roll of her eye. Each time she covered for him and he wouldn't even realize it until hours or even days later. The effort she put into making sure he was healthy, or at times even more importantly, _alive_.

"What are _you_ thinking?" Pepper asked, now her turn as she saw a different and slightly distant look in his eyes.

He looked at her, as if coming out of trance and simply asked, "How did you deal with me?"

Pepper eyed him, her nose wrinkling. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…_before_ Afghanistan," he reminded her. "How the hell did you deal with me then?" he was curious despite the fact that she had already told him the answer. But for some reason, he could never believe it.

"I told you, I knew what I was getting into when I first started working for you. Why isn't that a good enough reason?"

"Because the three PA's I hired before you quit all in less than three weeks."

She paused, caught by surprise.

"What?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"You never told me that."

"You _knew_ that…" he shrugged it off, as if it was all meaningless.

"No, I _never_ knew that – remember, my business is to know your business. I _should_ know something like that which means you went out of your way…to keep it a secret," she deduced.

He shrugged, still attempting to write it off and Pepper sighed, exasperated. "Tony…"

"No, I really don't know," he explained. "I guess I assumed you'd find out anyway. And it never really came up in conversation…did you really not know that already?"

Pepper shook her head, no.

"Hmm," he thought to himself, honestly surprised. But then his tone changed. "I'm glad you stayed," he told her. "Even if it did take me ten years and three months in a cave for me to realize things had to change."

Pepper nodded, also thinking to herself and slowly realizing something. "I think…that's one of the reasons why I stayed," she told him. "Because I was _so_ sure that maybe one day…you'd find what it was you were looking for."

"And…what was that?"

She didn't answer at first, but she held his hand. "A purpose."

Tony shook his head slowly, disagreeing with her, and he turned to face her completely. "You," he corrected.

"I was always here," she reminded him.

"But I didn't notice," he told her. And it was something he truly regretted. "I wish I _had_ noticed – years ago, when I should have seen you and realized how much you meant to me. And now that I have, I'll never forget you or abandon you. I'd never want to because I don't think I could make it five seconds without you – without knowing that you're here with me."

Before she had a chance to say anything, his right knee found the floor beneath him. And as he knelt, he remembered everything he'd been through with her – the day she had walked in and after a three and a half minute interview, had hired her on the spot. The moments when she chose to not only be his assistant, but also his friend. And all the years that had passed from that moment up until now.

Everything. All of it.

Pepper's words were caught somewhere in the back of her throat once she realized what was happening.

"I love you, Pepper," he said, smiling honestly as he presented the ring, and ultimately, himself to her. "Pepper," he repeated, watching her expression carefully and the mixture of surprise and amazement radiating in her eyes. "Virginia," he amended. And she covered the side of her face with her left hand as she beamed at him. Her breath escaped her in long, drawn bursts due to shock and absolute excitement. "I was wondering…if you didn't have all that much planned for the rest of your life…if you would consider spending it with me."

Even in a moment like this, he had to be himself – he had to stall before asking the inevitable question.

"Pepper, will you marry me?"

She was sure she was glowing – exhilaration and pure happiness taking over and at first she only nodded excitedly. But once she found her voice, she instantly answered, "Yes…_" _She laughed, still beaming and nodding, "Yes…yes!" And she quickly pulled him up to embrace him.

Tony smiled into her neck and immediately lifted her up and turning her around as she smiled and giggled – every emotion wrapped inside her trying to find some sort of release. She smiled and laughed and squealed as he spun her and she held on tight, sure that there was no demon in hell that would ever make her let go of what she had now.

She could have hugged him anywhere from thirty seconds to thirty hours – she wouldn't know. And now, she was in bed beside him, hours later. He had fallen asleep, snoring softly beside her, his arm wrapped protectively around her stomach. But still, she found herself enthralled by the ring on her finger.

Tony Stark.

She was going to _marry_ Tony Stark.

Pepper turned her head to the side and beamed again when she saw him beside her. Almost involuntarily, she brought the covers up to her face and smiled in them. She really _could_ feel herself glowing, radiating almost as her entire body was filled with a degree of happiness she never thought was possible to achieve.

All those years and everything that had happened in between – and it all came down to this.

Not once during those years before Afghanistan did she think she'd ever find herself in this position. And even in the last few months, though pregnancy and marriage had invaded her thoughts she hadn't given them much attention. She wasn't sure how to bring it up and she wasn't sure what it was that _he_ wanted.

And now he had proposed.

_I'm going to marry Tony Stark_, she thought again. And she knew that there was nothing on Earth that would make her happier.

**First warning. This fic **_**is**_** coming to a close (some of you have already correctly guessed). Not quite yet, of course, but we're getting there. **

**And of course – don't forget to leave a review on your way out! Thanks! =D**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Tony woke up the next morning to a harsh blow to his head with a soft pillow. It was the surprise that woke him up more than anything else and when he did, he saw Pepper standing above him, holding the pillow and staring him down with a surprised expression upon her face.

He looked around, still a little groggy. When he couldn't find any visible damage in the room to suggest that he had done something wrong, he groaned and buried the side of his face back into the pillow. "Whaaaa-aaat…?" he moaned lazily.

"You told _everyone_!" she exclaimed, still looking shocked. But by now, he could see the intrigue in her eyes as well.

That still didn't mean he knew what she was talking about. "I told everyone what?" he asked, sitting up.

She sat down beside him, counting it off on her fingers. "You told my mom, my sister and Rhodey that you were going to propose. Apparently _weeks_ ago." She eyed him, as if to dare him to say otherwise.

Tony laughed as he dropped his head back into the pillow underneath him. "JARVIS, what time is it?"

_Nine twenty-seven, sir_.

He raised an eyebrow at Pepper. "And you've already called everyone?"

"That's not the point," she answered back, shoving him. "You…actually _planned_ something."

Tony sat up again. "Ms. Potts," he answered delicately. "If I didn't know you any better I'd say you're more intrigued that you didn't find out that I was going to ask you ahead of time."

"No," she answered curtly although Tony had obviously guessed correctly.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, grabbing her waist and tackling her onto the bed. She squealed and landed beside him. She tried to kick him off but found it impossible to twist out of his grip and Tony grinned at her feeble attempts.

"Let me go!" Pepper demanded. Of course, her laughing made it impossible for Tony to take her seriously. Nevertheless, he reluctantly let her go and rolled onto his back. Pepper lay down beside him, breathing heavily and when Tony noticed her exhaustion, he laughed. Pepper rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder and Tony rolled onto his side, his back to her. "Goodnight," he announced, ready to get back to sleep. Waking up at nine thirty in the morning? Bullshit.

But he was faced with an odd silence – no exasperated sigh, no chastising. Just silence. And moments too late, he realized his mistake.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, and his back was to Pepper. His _scarred_ back.

That's what had taken her attention in just a few short moments. And he was right. She found herself staring at the scars that were caused by the fire that night…scarred caused because of _her_.

_No, not because of me_, she reminded herself. _Because of Hammer._

Tony sighed, closing his eyes. "Pepper…" he started, about to turn around.

"No," she whispered, stopping him. "Wait." Her fingers were just centimeters away from his skin, so close to the burns that had seemed unnaturally grotesque just weeks ago. He was almost completely healed, but the skin had grown back unevenly, forming jagged lines across his upper back, as if the San Andreas fault had been stitched into him multiple times. But she chose not to see the pain, the hurt, and the twisted scars. Instead, Pepper lightly placed her hand on his back and she felt him shudder under her cool touch. Carefully and delicately, she allowed her finger to follow wherever the scars took her, tracing the lines etched into his back.

"Pepper…"

But she refused to answer him, instead sliding her hand up and down his back. In doing this, she was finding her own sense of peace and discovering that it was possible for her to let go of what had happened. It was time for her to move on so she could focus on what was to come.

She rested her entire hand on his back, her fingertips touching his shoulder. She allowed her hand to pass over his chest, holding on to him at the waist as she rested the side of her face on his bare back.

They said nothing, both of them understanding and blissfully content to simply _be_ with each other.

Then, after a few minutes, Tony got up on his elbow and turned to face her. "I'm going to say something," he cautiously started. "And you're going to promise that you're not going to hurt me."

"It sounds more like an ultimatum than a request," Pepper taunted.

"That's because it _is_ an ultimatum," Tony answered.

She frowned, weighing her options. "Alright, what is it?"

"You didn't promise."

"Fine – I won't hurt you. Now tell me."

"That's _still_ not a promise. You have to say, 'I promise…'"

"Alright, alright," Pepper stopped him, eyeing him. "I promise not to hurt you. Now tell me – or I'll change my mind."

Tony decided not to point out that she had already promised and therefore couldn't change her mind but decided saying so would be a moot point anyway. "What is your opinion…concerning me hiring Natasha?"

"She already works for you in the Human Resources department-"

"I meant…hiring her as – alright, remember you promised not to hurt me, right?"

She sighed and closed her eyes. "Yes, Tony."

"I _could_ hire her as my PA…"

Pepper's eyes popped open and she glared at Tony. "What," she said simply. It wasn't even a question, just a direct statement that clearly implied, "Over my dead body."

"Well, I was just thinking about what it looks like – we've been going out and you still work for me and you can imagine what's flying around in the magazines. But when we get _married_ and you're still my PA, working for me…it'll look…" he shrugged and made a face as if to imply the rest of the sentence. "Of course if you don't want to get paid that completely works for me but still, I don't need to…_pay_ you, it just looks-"

"Whoa, whoa – stop!" Pepper instructed and he immediately did. But not before Tony quietly reminded her, "You promised…"

"Are you trying to fire me?" she asked, a questioning look upon her face.

_Shit_. "No!" Tony quickly exclaimed. "No! No, I'm just making a _suggestion_ about a potential leave of absence for a period of time that has yet to be determined," he added as smoothly as possible.

"You're trying to fire me," she corrected and she sat up as well.

Tony exhaled out of the side of his mouth. "It depends on what _you_ want to do."

"Well, I understand where you're coming from," she said, remaining completely civil which only terrified Tony more. "And I guess in that point of view it all makes sense. I mean, it might look questionable paying your wife…"

_Where's the 'but' part?_ Tony wondered. _There's going to be a 'but'._

"But…you seem to have forgotten that this far into a relationship with you I have _completely_ lost the ability to care all that much about what the press thinks about anything."

"It's a liberating feeling, isn't it?" Tony interrupted, smiling all-knowingly.

Pepper grinned sheepishly, remembering a time where she could always feel the all-seeing eye of the press observing every move they made – even before Tony and Pepper had become an item. And now, after _everything_ she had finally been able to move on, let go, and simply not care. To an extent, of course.

"Liberating and dangerous," Pepper corrected. "But besides that there _is_ one more problem. The most important problem with your plan."

"And that is…?"

"What the hell am I supposed to be doing all day!" she shrieked suddenly. "For the last ten years my job has been to make sure you do _your_ job and now just out of the blue, you expect me to just sit by, watch Natasha take over and do what exactly with my time? And don't even think about saying that-"

"So that would be a 'no' to hiring Natasha, then?" Tony suddenly interrupted.

Pepper thought for a moment before answering but before she could even open her mouth, Tony taunted, "I think you're being territorial."

She widened her eyes at the accusation. "I am not-"

"Yes, you are, you think being my PA is _your_ territory and you don't like that I'm about to let someone else take over while you sit back and watch." He leaned a few centimeters closer to her, as if about to tell her something confidential. "And for the record, Natasha's stilettos don't make her legs look nearly as sexy as yours."

Pepper scoffed and rolled her eyes, though his statement brought a sheepish smile to her lips. Then she quietly added. "I could settle with unofficial PA," she decided.

"Deal."

"My first act as unofficial PA is to remind you of your hearing in three days. Start packing."

Tony grimaced. "My last PA let me sleep in."

* * *

"Mr. Stark the Committee's purpose still stands in that our priority is to turn over the Iron Man weapon-" Senator Stern began sharply – 9 AM and three days later.

"It's _still_ not a weapon," Tony corrected – for the fifth time that morning. Already.

"—to the American people-"

"Which, again, is _not_ your primary concern – your primary concern is for me to hand over the suit to American _government_ which in effect-"

"-only this time we have additional evidence which suggests that you are also incapable of enforcing the protection of said Iron Man weapon – do you or do you not agree with these claims?"

"I do not," Tony answered firmly as camera lights flashed throughout the chamber. _Asshole_.

"You don't?"

"I do not," Tony repeated, silently cursing him.

"Surprisingly enough," Stern said as he flipped through pages in a notebook. "I…anticipated that response. The records say you've been hospitalized twice in the last year which suggests that you are _physically_ unfit to wield the suits."

_He knew they were going to say that_, Pepper thought to herself. She was seated just behind Tony, imagining all the different ways this could go wrong. _Tony knows what he's doing, Tony knows what he's doing…who am I kidding? He's making this up as he goes along._

"I also deny _that_ claim," Tony spoke up. "The point of the hospitalizations was to ensure that I was physically capable of wielding the suits and now that I've been discharged I'm sure that's proof enough."

"Your first hospitalization last year-"

"Is irrelevant," Tony completed, rolling his eyes as he impatiently rapped his knuckles against the desk.

"Granted, we've been unable to gather a sufficient amount of information because of privacy protocols but we have been able to find out a little more about your second hospitalization." Tony rolled his eyes, counting all the unnecessary pauses in Stern's sentences. _He sounds like my idiot physics teacher back in high school. _"So I'd like to call Dr. Evan Samuels to the chamber."

_Who the hell is Dr. Evan Samuels_? Tony thought to himself and he turned to Pepper, a questioning look on his face as if to ask her that same question.

As soon as the invited doctor stepped into the room, he immediately recognized him – as the doctor who had initially prescribed the warfarin.

_Oh, shit_, Tony thought to himself, wincing. There were thousands of ways this could end badly – and the worst way involved revealing that the arc reactor was literally a part of his body and not just the suit – information that this doctor knew.

"The last time I checked, hospital confidentiality was still enforced," Tony spoke up, even though he knew there was no point.

"Well, in extreme cases such as this exceptions must be made…"

_Lame_.

"Dr. Samuels, if you can describe your meeting with Mr. Stark on…November 13 of last year…"

The doctor glanced at Tony nervously and Tony frowned, growling unprofessionally. Dr. Samuels immediately shifted his attention back to the Senator, deciding to focus on the not-so-scary person in the room.

"Mr. Stark complained of chest pain that had persisted since his last hospitalization which suggested a heart imbalance. I prescribed warfarin which is a blood thinner to decrease the chances of a heart attack or stroke."

Tony closed his eyes and sighed, trying to cool himself down as a rise of murmurings and surprised gasps echoed across the chamber. This wasn't anyone business. And what was worse was that the doctor had been wrong – the real problem was that the last hospital he went to decided to run an MRI and had screwed up his arc reactor. The only problem was that he couldn't explain any of that. He was determined to keep the reactor a secret.

So for now he was going to have to play along.

"And weeks later," Stern continued. "A heart surgery was performed-"

"To take care of the problem," Tony immediately spoke up, sensing a ticket in. "Which, by the way, was _not_ the result of a clot and was _not_ cured by the warfarin prescribed."

"So what was the problem, then?"

"That's confidential," Tony answered.

"Mr. Stark, confidential or not the point is that if a severe crisis had taken place you would have been unable to effectively protect this country if need be which is precisely why the Iron Man weapon needs to the be in the hands of the American people."

"Yes, but you don't want the suits in the hands of the people, do you? Your plan is to turn the suits into killing machines which is not their initial purpose and never will be-"

"Mr. Stark, you have created weapons of mass destruction and insist on calling them a protection. And they are _not_. I don't care what you want to call them or what case of denial you have but our primary goal is to ensure the protection of this country and your physical wellbeing-"

"I couldn't help but notice that you haven't called in my latest physician," Tony pointed out angrily. "And if you _had_ – he would have pointed out that I am at my one hundred percent and at optimum health at this point in time."

"Unfortunately…not all witnesses can be brought-"

"So you do acknowledge that I'm perfectly healthy and therefore, your latest accusations are invalid."

"Even if you're healthy now it doesn't excuse-"

"I was sick because I was dosed, and no one caught it in time it's hardly a matter of unhealthy lifestyle on my part-" Tony was on a roll now.

"Your physical wellbeing may no longer be an issue now but that still doesn't explain your irresponsibility when dealing with the suit."

Crap. "I'm sorry, _what_?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Pull up the images and videos taken a month and a half ago."

Tony twisted his lips as if he had tasted something sour and shifted his attention to the screens ahead. He almost choked when he saw what was on the screens – a military team attempting to carry pieces of the Iron Man suit. The only strange part was that they were in the middle of the wilderness. Tony quickly realized that it was the night he had come after Pepper when she had been kidnapped – when he had decided to ditch the entire suit in order to save her.

"During the incident in which your…significant other was kidnapped-"

_Significant other?_ Whatever. "The situation called for-"

"You left the Iron Man weapon," Senator Stern interrupted. "In the middle of nowhere, free for anyone to take and use for their own purposes."

Tony laughed before answering, "There are…multiple reasons, why this is completely irrelevant and insignificant."

"Such as?"

"Well for starters, you can see that it's taking three of your men to carry the centerpiece. So I'm going to guess…about fifty or so pounds? And trust me, when I put that thing on, it doesn't feel anywhere near that. I could give the suit to every man, woman in child in the world and they wouldn't be able to do anything with it because it's completely useless without the chest piece – the reactor. And, if you observe – the chest piece isn't there. All your men have is a skeleton and you're expecting it to come to life. Not going to happen because, unfortunately – I'm not God. But there _is_ this guy with a hammer that you might be interested in…" _Fury's going to kill me later for that one._

"So where is the chest piece?" Stern answered.

"In the video? Obviously with me. So your irresponsibility accusation doesn't apply. So, if you go ahead and apologize, I'll be more than willing to put this simple misunderstanding behind us."

A few laughs from the crowd and Pepper bit the corner of her lip to keep herself from smiling. _I will remain professional. I will remain professional,_ she chanted to herself. _Tony, kick their ass. I will remain professional._

"But this does bring another problem into the picture, now doesn't it?" Senator Stern said, surprisingly cockily.

"The fact that I'm unwilling to release the technology behind the chest piece is, in my opinion, quite the opposite of a problem."

"Your personal relationships have also proven a hindrance."

Tony, for the first time since the hearing was at a loss for words and the entire chamber buzzed with unsettling chatter. Stern was growing desperate – and he was reaching into territory that he shouldn't have touched.

But Tony wasn't willing to slow down now. _Play the part._ "Do explain," Tony dared.

"Mr. Stark, you're hiding behind technicality but the truth of the matter is that the reason the suit was found in the middle of the wilderness was because of the…incident that took place a few weeks ago."

"I'm sorry, what?" Tony prodded. "What incident?"

"The kidnapping-"

"The kidnapping that Justin Hammer was involved in," Tony checked. "And if I recall correctly Hammer was also the Committee's previous Weapons Contractor accused and found guilty of faking a convicted felon's death. Yeah, it makes perfect sense for me to hand over the suits to you."

He was angry which for many people in the room, was a side of him no one had ever seen before. Tony was composed, sarcastic, witty – but despite how crazy the situation could get, he never showed outward and pure anger.

"Leaving the suit didn't only prove to be careless but it was a decision made _because_ of your personal relationship."

"And she made it out alive and healthy. My mission was complete and had anyone else been in the situation, they'd also be silently cursing you as well."

"The point is that the course of action you chose was affected by the fact that the person you needed to rescue was your girlfriend."

"When I wear the suit, my primary concern is, contrary to popular belief, _not_ my wellbeing but the wellbeing of any person put in harm's way. It isn't about how I get the job done and it most certainly isn't about what this Committee is going to think about how I executed my plan, it's about _protecting_ the American people by any means necessary. In the hands of the US government, this power can be easily corrupted and abused but in the hands of the man who _actually_ created the machinery, the suits will serve their function and I can assure you that my goal of protecting anyone was not hindered when _your_ former employee attempted to kidnap and murder my fiancé."

Pepper gasped, suppressed a surprised squeal and kept her head down. Immediately, she could feel every eye in the chamber on her and she pretended to be looking something up in the notebook in her hand. Cameras flashed and lenses were pointed at her.

_Tony, we are going to talk about this one._

Of course, Tony was oblivious to the silent hate waves Pepper was trying to send him. Instead, he remained focus on Senator Stern.

"You're fiancé," Stern repeated, just to make sure.

"Yes," Tony answered curtly.

"Which, _again_, is a problem."

"It is not a problem, in fact, it's far from-"

"What you don't seem to understand is that your fiancé is now a problem you wouldn't be facing were the suits in the custody of the US government-"

He knew exactly where Stern was going with this, and he already knew he wouldn't like it. "The safety of the Iron Weapon is compromised because your potential weaknesses have been made obvious. Ms. Potts is now a liability-"

Pepper eyes widened and she grimaced, lips set in a tight line, with a disgusted look on her face. A _liability?_

"—and is affecting your judgment and the protection of America."

"Now, wait a minute-" Tony started.

"This meeting is adjourned until tomorrow morning at 9 AM during which the verdict will be announced."

* * *

_**Three hours later, Hotel Suite**_

"They're going to take the suits," Pepper muttered to herself, pacing back and forth around their room.

"No, they're not," Tony tried to assure her as eh

"How do you know?" she suddenly yelled, facing him. "You heard what they said, that I'm a _liability_…which, I guess they're right but they can't take the suits and-"

"Pepper, Pepper…" he stopped her pacing and held on to her arms. "Listen to me – they're not going to take the suits, alright? Believe me, a process like that takes more than one hearing. And they obviously had no real evidence against me to justify taking the suits which is why they sunk low enough to bring up the two of us."

She nodded, agreeing with him. But all of a sudden, she frowned, realizing something else and quickly pushed him away.

"You told them about us being engaged!" she exclaimed though she didn't look angry. Exasperated maybe, but not angry.

"I…yeah," he decided. Excuses weren't going to help him here.

"Why?"

"I was pissed," he answered. "Because Stern was, in a few words, giving me two options – to pick you, or to pick the suits. And I wanted him and everyone else to understand that _we_ aren't going anywhere."

"But…" Pepper mumbled. "What about the suits? You can't give those up."

"I won't have to, Pepper. So don't worry about it. Honestly, you're more worried than I am."

"Because you don't take anything seriously!" she shrieked. She sighed and dropped down on the best, resting her head in her hands.

He sat down next to her. "That's because I already know what's most important to me. _You_. I've decided to put you first no matter what."

She looked at him and sighed. "I _told_ you not to do that…"

"Well, let's face it, Ms. Potts," Tony answered. "I never listen to a word you say."

She smiled, finally laughing and leaned on top of him, deciding that despite whatever the verdict was, the two of them would find their way.

* * *

"Mr. Stark," Senator Stern began. "The Committee has convened and found a justified agreement that will be effective immediately…considering the evidence available and faced with the uncertainty of said evidence the Committee has decided to allow the possession of the Iron Man suits to remain in your possession until-"

The chamber erupted in cheers and Stern was immediately cut off as Tony stood up coolly.

"—until further notice-"

Tony put on his sunglasses, twirling his keys in his hand as the audience stood up, still cheering.

"So…same time next year?" Tony checked sarcastically with Stern who was obviously biting his lip. Tony smirked, waved a cocky goodbye and made his way out of the chamber. "I'll see you later, honey."

Pepper pursed her lip, trying to keep herself from smiling as he approached her and even behind his shades, she saw him wink at her. She finally gave in, rolling her eyes and smiling and he lightly rested his hand on her lower back. "I told you," he said into her ear above the uproar in the chamber. She smiled, loving the fact that in the midst of all the turmoil in the room and the fact that he'd just won the battle against Stern _again_, he still had time for her.

"Lunch is on me," he said, grabbing her hand and quickly walking out of the room. As soon as they were out of the chamber, they ran for the car that Happy had parked outside.

"How did it go?" Happy asked just as the two of them dove into the backseat, the press on their heels.

"Drive!" Tony commanded, laughing and Happy immediately complied. Tony was slouched in the back, his foot propped up on the center console and smiling sheepishly. Pepper rested her head in her hand, raising an eyebrow at him but smirking as well.

"So it went well, then, right?" Happy asked sarcastically and both Tony and Pepper giggled childishly in the back.

"You could say that," Pepper answered.

"So…" Tony said after a brief moment of silence. "On a completely unrelated note – where do you guys want to go for lunch?"

**Warning number 2: This fic is STILL coming to a close – very soon. Still, it's been one hell of a ride! **

**Review PREASE! :) I love you and again, I do appreciate every single one. Thanks so much! I wouldn't have written this much were it not for you guys!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A super short one. And SO SORRY for the long wait. Real life is a bitch and I hate midterms. Anyway – enjoy!**

**Chapter 32**

Pepper wasn't entirely fond of how often her name appeared in the media, but to be honest, for the first time, she honestly didn't mind. She couldn't care any less what anyone thought about her marrying Tony Stark. It simply didn't matter because she was with _him_. Nothing else was important.

Just two days after the hearing with Senator Stern and the Stark mansion was hosting a full house with the presence of not only Tony and Pepper, but also Natasha, Rhodes, Happy, Vanessa and Liz. And it was all a very different experience for Tony. He was used to a 'full house' meaning the mansion was filled with hundreds of faces he didn't recognize all in the spirit of drunken partying. This was different.

And he liked it.

For the last few hours the women had locked themselves up in the living room. As they talked about everything under the sun, Happy and Rhodey were engaged in what had the potential of turning into the world's most dangerous boxing session – and it wasn't because either of them were particularly good – dirty boxing was rampant.

Unfortunately, half an hour later, Rhodey and Happy had discovered a new, yet strangely entertaining game. As Tony updated JARVIS's software, Rhodey and Happy sat beside him – saying very little. The two of them simply stared at Tony who tried to limit the number of times he glanced nervously at them.

Such long streaks of profound silence were often separated by equally profound bursts and exclamations.

"Wedding shopping," Rhodey said after a particularly long period of silence.

Tony frowned at him, but focused his attention back on the table in front of him, tapping away at the interface and editing adjustments to the software. _I will not crack, I will not crack…_

"Guest lists," Happy reminded him, smirking to himself.

Tony visibly hesitated at that one. A guest list _was_ an intimidating problem. A problem he hadn't quite thought about yet.

"The press-"

_I will not crack…_"Stop it," Tony mumbled – and in that very moment and he realized his statement was proof that they had won. He rolled his eyes but continued the update.

Happy and Rhodey leaned back in their seats, satisfied, and bumped fists – mission accomplished.

"You know that's _exactly_ what they're talking about," Rhodey said, pointing towards the door which led to the living room. "Dresses and shopping and the press-"

"I can handle that," Tony rebutted, rolling his eyes.

"Guest lists," Rhodey added offhandedly.

Tony stopped what he was doing, thinking to himself. Guest lists…he hadn't thought about that one before. For some reason, the idea of writing up a guest list had completely evaded him. And of all the threats of future responsibility Rhodey and Happy had spent the last fifteen minutes distracting him with, that final one was the most terrifying.

"Shit," Tony muttered, thinking to himself and Rhodey laughed.

"Well if you're so worried you could always just go in there and found out for yourself," Rhodey prodded. "I mean, for all you know we could just be messing with you – reveling in the fact that it only takes a small guest list to send you off the edge and plummet into the deep abyss of responsibility."

Tony flinched.

"Well…" Happy prodded impatiently. He nodded towards the door.

"And when you're done tell us how accurate we are," Rhodey added, leaning back in his chair.

Curiosity was taking over – and Tony was finding it impossible to muster the willpower to fight back and stay where he was. Rhodey and Happy, already aware of their victory, waited for him to simply make his move and without fail, Tony rolled his eyes and left the room.

He was getting a drink – that would be his alibi, he decided. But it turned out that he didn't even need one. None of the women in the living room even paid attention to his presence as they pored over a vast collection of magazines, planners and calendars.

"Pepper, this is adorable," Natasha said, pointing at a dress in a magazine and Tony tried not to look terrified. Not only because the words had come from _Natasha's_ mouth but because he didn't realize it was mandatory to peruse through a grand total of twenty three magazines to find _one_ suitable wedding dress.

"Ginny, do you honestly need this much space for reporters…they're not _really-_" Liz started to complain.

"If I don't include them they'll just crash it and make a mess out of everything. We'll just put them in an invisible corner – actually…just leave them alone, I'll make it work somehow…"

There it was – the guest list.

And reporters.

Dear God.

And there was so much _left_ – setting a date, the location, drafting a _full_ guest list.

He _hated_ it when Rhodey was right. _God damn him._

But there _was_ the honeymoon when all was finally said and done. And he had no problem planning for that…

_**9 PM**_

Tony was in the shop on the couch, adding a long string of upgrades to his latest Mark suits when Pepper found him. He glanced up at her before focusing his attention on the tablet's screen, as an aura of peace filled him. Whenever he was with her or whenever she walked into the same room as him, he experienced the same sensation, knowing that everything was right now that she was with him. That no matter what happened in the next few seconds, hours, years, he could get through it. Because of _her_. And he loved that feeling.

Pepper sat beside him, tucking her feet beneath her and Tony wrapped her arm around her shoulder, holding her close as he approved the updates. She watched his fingers swipe across the screen as he edited, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as his mind worked, making quick calculations and estimations. She was used to seeing him in a state where his working mind was light years ahead, and knew bringing him back down to the present was next to impossible. So she simply sat and waited, sleep beginning to take over as the hum of the reactor lulled her to rest.

"Did you talk to Natasha?" he asked suddenly, still upgrading.

Pepper's eyes popped open suddenly. "What?"

Tony chuckled slightly at the sudden defensive tone her voice possessed. "Natasha – did you talk to her about how you plan on working together in the near future?"

Pepper rolled her eyes, noting the amused tone in Tony's voice. "Yes, as a matter of fact we did talk – and the plan is that I'll be your unofficial PA until...circumstances make me incapable of serving you adequately."

Tony blinked, his fingers pausing on the screen and he looked down at her. "So that's it – that was the decision?"

"Something along those lines – yeah, I think that was what we decided," Pepper said closing her eyes again.

Still, even though Pepper had dropped the subject, he was unable to let it go. _Until circumstances make me incapable of serving you adequately._

_What_?

It was supposed to mean something, and Pepper expected him to figure it out. And from the looks of things – she expected him to figure it out immediately.

_Come on, genius brain – think!_

And just like that it hit him.

He tried desperately not to smile in hopes of maintaining the illusion that he had no idea what she was talking about. He continued to upgrade the suits and then, after a full minute of silence, he said, "My bet's on a boy."

Even though she wasn't looking at him, he could feel her smile into his chest. "Is that so?"

"Yup."

"And what makes you so sure?" she taunted.

"I know things," he said, as if that explained everything.

"Uh huh," Pepper hummed lazily.

"And his name will be Bruce Lee."

Pepper's eyes opened again. "What?" she asked blandly.

"Well, I thought-"

"You've got to be out of your mind if-"

"I was just _kidding_-" Tony quickly added.

"No, you weren't!" Pepper exclaimed, laughing.

"Of course I was! I mean…that's just ridiculous. And of course we'll have to agree on the name…"

Pepper eyed him for a moment before resting her head on his shoulder again.

Tony sighed gratefully. _Crisis averted._

"Scarlet," Pepper said after a while.

"Pepper, I love you and I'll consider every name you think of but I am _not_ naming our first son Scarlet."

She laughed lightly. "_Daughter_, Tony. Scarlet if we have a daughter."

Tony thought about it, weighing the name on his tongue. _Scarlet_. It was beautiful. He rested his head beside hers having long abandoned the suit updates he had been working on. "I like it," he told her. _Scarlet_.

He tried to imagine life with a daughter – Scarlet. She'd be just as beautiful as her mother and just as independent. And she'd accomplish everything she wanted to accomplish plus more. _Scarlet_.

And if he was right and they had a boy first? What would be the name of their son?

"Jason," Tony suggested. _Healer._ It seemed appropriate.

Pepper repeated after him quietly. "_Jason_." She smiled again.

_**Next Morning**_

Nine am crunch time in the Stark mansion. The only significant problem was that it was taking place at nine thirty and Tony and Pepper had a meeting in half an hour.

"Tony, sign these," Pepper instructed as she held her blackberry to her ear with her shoulder and poured a cup of coffee.

"Uh huh," Tony hummed offhandedly as he continued the updates for the Mark suits. His initial plan had been to finish this last night but he had completely forgotten about it. And in his completely sane mind, it made sense to get it started just before they left the house.

"Yes, we will both be in attendance….in half an hour," Pepper said into the phone, eyeing Tony. But still, he wasn't paying any attention, his fingers moving across the tablet computer on the breakfast table. She rolled her eyes but briskly walked past him, taking his tablet with her. Tony frowned, not entirely pleased, but glanced at the stack of papers Pepper had given him and began signing.

"Perfect, Tuesday – three pm. Of course, I'll let him know."

Tony waited for her to hang up before extending his hand to retrieve his tablet and continue working.

"Sign first," Pepper instructed, tapping ferociously at her blackberry, his computer tucked safely away under her arm. In an instant, her phone was back at her ear and she was in another world, rearranging and moving meetings accordingly as Tony signed wherever Pepper had marked with a black "X". But he was hardly paying attention to what he was doing. Instead, he found himself entranced as Pepper was…being Pepper and covering his ass at the workplace. And as she held her phone to her ear, he also noticed the engagement ring resting delicately on her finger.

He smiled to himself, lost in his own world as his mind drifted towards the future – _their_ future; a future with their daughter, Scarlet or perhaps their son, Jason.

"Hey!" Pepper said suddenly, snapping her fingers at him and pointing at the papers. Tony looked up quickly, snapping out of his daydream. He saw Pepper frowning at him, an eyebrow raised. "Sign," she reminded him. Then into her cell phone she said, "Yes, I'm still here…right…perfect."

But Tony was lost again.

He was going to _marry_ Pepper. They'd get married, and have children. They'd grow old together-

"Tony, come on," Pepper snapped, exasperated. She tapped on the table a few times as if to bring him to the present. "We got to go, get these signed so we can head out."

He said nothing – finally finishing the task Pepper had given him over five minutes ago.

Pepper frowned – she hadn't expected him to just _do_ it. Nevertheless, she allowed him to finish before voicing her concerns. "What's the matter?"

Tony shook his head, his eyes widening as if to display his innocence. "Nothing."

"No, there's-"

"Come on, I thought you said we were late, let's go-"

"No, but-"

A silent smile shone through and Tony took her hand and kissed her cheek. "Let's go-"

"Wha-wait-" she held on to him, frowning slightly. "What?"

"Come on, Pep, it's not important-"

Pepper seemed startled and taken aback. "What?"

"It's not important-" Tony repeated.

"No, you…" she squinted at him, as if doing so would make it easier to read his expression. "You called me 'Pep'."

He smiled again, more amused than anything else as he led her towards the door. "You don't like nicknames?" he asked though he knew the answer.

"Uh—no…" Pepper quickly amended though she couldn't help but smile anyway, blushing against her will. "No, it's just-"

"Your hair matches your cheeks perfectly-" he taunted playfully.

"Stop," she muttered sheepishly, pushing his shoulder. Meanwhile, Tony tried to analyze this part of Pepper he was sure he had never seen. Pepper was never embarrassed. Yet, this simple nickname had her on edge – a precarious but thrilling edge. But more importantly, she _liked_ it. She _liked_ that small display of affection.

He laughed a little. "Let's go," he said after a moment, deciding not to prolong his moment of victory.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you were thinking a minute ago, though," Pepper quickly added, the red in her cheeks suddenly disappearing.

Ah. _This_ was the Pepper he knew.

He glanced at her for a moment and turned to face her completely.

"What were you thinking?" she asked softly, guessing that thought it wasn't something urgent, it was just as important.

Tony sighed, thinking. "Three years ago…I wouldn't have guessed we'd be here right now."

She nodded once. "I think everyone else did," Pepper said softly. "Everyone except for us for some odd reason."

He smiled, nodding towards the door. "Come on-"

"Wait," Pepper stopped, holding on to his hand. "Do you…did you think you'd ever do it?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "Do what?"

"You know…" she prodded quietly. "_This. _Settle down."

He laughed, as if she had asked something preposterous just before he kissed her, his hand caressing her cheek and she avidly accepted him. When he pulled away, her cheeks were bright – glowing even, and he smiled. "Pepper, what on Earth gave you the idea that I'd _ever_ settle down?"

She smiled again. "I should have known," she added with a roll of her eyes. Tony didn't "settle down" – he was too restless. But if she had learned anything from him these last few years, she at least knew that he could _commit_. And that was the man she was marrying – a man who loved her and chose her – but retained a decent amount of unpredictability and excitement. Life with him would never be boring.

And she was looking forward to it.

Fin

**Well…I guess that's that.**

**And one more time – THANKS SO MUCH for all of your reviews! Every last one of them! I appreciate them so much! I had so many people respond to this fic and I'm so glad you read it! I really hope you enjoyed this fic – or at least parts of it and I'm feeling very nostalgic now that it's over :/ Nostalgic and sentimental, perhaps.**

**Will I write a third installment? **

**No. Sorry. Maybe. I don't know – for now, I've got nothing.**

**BUT – I will be writing another Iron Man fic so keep your eye out for it. It will be completely separate from this fic and it will be VERY loosely based on my one shot "Asking" so if you want a sneak peak go check that one out. Not sure who my villain will be for the next fic but if there's someone you want to see in particular by all means – PM/review and LET ME KNOW! :)**

**Don't forget to leave a final review and let me know what you hated/liked so I can do better next time :)**

**Thanks so much for reading! **

**LOVE YOU!**

**xoxo writingmonkey10**


	33. NOT AN UPDATE

NOT AN UPDATE

Sorry, guys. This fic is done – no updates here.

But if you haven't already found it, my new fic is out. So if you're interested feel free to read the first 2 chapters that are now up.

If you're not interested in the least, that's cool too.

xoxo writingmonkey10


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